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CIRUGIA 10/3/2018
Los romanos y los cartagineses llevaban muchos años luchando
en una batalla en la que ninguno de los dos bandos conseguía
ganar. Un dia, el jefe romano llama al cartaginés y le dice:
- Llevamos años peleando sin conseguir nada. ¿Que te parece
si organizamos una pelea entre dos perros?, y el ejercito
cuyo gane, se queda con el territorio.
- Pues no esta mal.
- De ...
0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,4.50 Pontuação
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) 12/7/2011
You got to find somebody who likes
the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like
it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming. -- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're
going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get
to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10
...
2 Comentários, 58 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,5.38 Pontuação
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A Woman's Prayer. 17/6/2011
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love
and to forgive him and for patience, for his moods. Because
Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
3 Comentários, 30 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,5.80 Pontuação
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Chiste tierno 28/4/2011
Estaba un muy simpatico en la entrada
de una iglesia con una cajita pequeña y unos perritos, chikitos,
chikitos, bonitos, bonitos, y gritaba voz en cuello- !!!PERRITOS
CATOLICOS 5 PESOS, PERRIIIIIIIIIIIITOS CATOLICOS 5 pesos!!!
y no paso nada, entonces a la semana siguiente, llega el
mismo simpatico y en la entrada de la iglesia voz en
cuello grita- !!!PERRITOS ...
2 Comentários, 57 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,6.16 Pontuação
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Did you hear about.... 4/3/2011
I read a poll that was taken a few years ago around 2000. The
poll was taken of 2000 married couples that had been united
over 50 years. Remarkably 71 percent said after the first
meerting they could care less if they ever saw the other
again. 97 percent said they would never consider marry
the other after the first meeting.
I drove to a town about 90 minutes from here recently and
had a ...
2 Comentários, 52 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,4.41 Pontuação
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Maybe It's True That Life BeginsAt FIFTY 10/1/2011
It is true that life begins at 50 but everything else starts
to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
<br>
There are three signs of old age.
The first is your loss of memory.
The other two I forget.
<br>
You're getting old when you don't care where your
spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
<br>
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and ...
3 Comentários, 62 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,5.08 Pontuação
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How To Make A Woman Happy? 10/1/2011
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
a friend a companion a lover a brother a father a master a chef an electrician a carpenter a plumber a mechanic a decorator a stylist a sexologist a gynecologist a psychologist a pest exterminator a psychiatrist a healer a good listener an organizer a good father very clean sympathetic athletic warm attentive gallant ...
4 Comentários, 44 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,4.87 Pontuação
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A Man Was Complaining 10/1/2011
Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so hard, meantime
my wife stays at home, I would give anything if you would
grant me one wish "switch me into my wife" she's
got it easy at home I want to teach her a lesson of how tough
a man's life is. As God was listening he felt sorry for this soul and granted
his wish. Next morning the "new woman" wakes
up at dawn, makes lunch boxes, prepares ...
1 Comentários, 33 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,5.35 Pontuação
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I Can Tell Your Age By The Amount Of Chocolate That You Eat 9/1/2011
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood
anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute.
Work this out as you read
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've
worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of ...
4 Comentários, 41 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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Chistes clasicos 24/11/2010
¿Cual era el apóstol que no oraba? Pedro, porque en la puerta del templo llamada la hermosa,
le dijo al cojo; "No tengo plata ni oro"
ja,
¿Porque Pedro negó a Jesús? Porque le sano la suegra
ja, Va un cristiano corriendo porque lo persigue un león de
repente él se arrodilla y dice: - Señor, te pido que este león se vuelva cristiano.
El ...
3 Comentários, 56 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.01 Pontuação
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Breaking a bad habit 15/9/2010
How many times have you tried to quit a bad habit? I have heard
it takes 3 tries before you make it. When people ask me how I quit smoking & never took it
up again I tell them this short story.
"Smoking is like a bad boyfriend, you never take them
back." Commited too good health means mental & physical.
1 Corinthians 12 "For the manifestation of the
spirit is given to each one for a ...
1 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,4.90 Pontuação
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chistoso... 23/8/2010
cual era el apostol que no oraba??? fue PEDRO porque el dijo : no tengo ORO ni plata....
0 Comentários, 5 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,1.10 Pontuação
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Mmmm!.. uno de esos de Pepito! 20/7/2010
Era un domingo por la mañana que la mama de Pepito se sentia
mal y le encargo a Pepito a vender el canastillo de huevos
que ella solia hacerlo.
Pepito, muy obediente, sale de la casa con el canastillo,
y ahi va por la colonia gritando, "Huevos, huevos!"
En eso, se acerca a una iglesia llena de feligrezes. Decidio
entrar en ella para ver quien le compra y empieza a gritar, ...
2 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,3.08 Pontuação
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Baptizing a Drunk 25/6/2010
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when
he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost
overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the
drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes, I am." So the preacher
grabs him ...
20 Comentários, 2829 Visualizações,
331 Votos
,5.59 Pontuação
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Why The Ladies Are Single? 19/5/2010
In chatting with my lady friends I have found out quite a
few reasons as to why some of them are still single. Below
are some of the reasons that I have been given, hahahaha,
enjoy, cheers.
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not ...
4 Comentários, 77 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,4.18 Pontuação
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Sabrina618 you're not the only one 5/4/2010
Hi Sabrina if you're still there, I just want to let
you know you're not the only one. It seems I am in the
same predicament. I have absolutely no idea why I can't
get a girlfriend, and even some of the strangest guys around,
that I see do. I see couples everywhere (here in Holland),
singles are no where to be seen or are uninterested.
I also look after myself, I'm not ugly, I don't ...
1 Comentários, 199 Visualizações,
91 Votos
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Christian Pick up lines (Not written by me) 26/3/2010
1. "nice bible."
2. "is this pew taken?"
3. "i just don't feel called to celibacy."
4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"
5. "i would go through more than Job for you"
6. "you are perfect, except with all the sin."
7. "when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from
it like a river. I promise I will never strike you."
8. "you are so ...
3 Comentários, 67 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.00 Pontuação
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who to marry 10/10/2009
first of all that special person must be content with who
you are and not try to remold you. suggestions are ok just
not demands. two people must enjoy the same style of music.
and two people must be compatable in a loving intimate way. discuss what you enjoy and if two
people enjoy affection.
1 Comentários, 34 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,2.78 Pontuação
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"When NOT to Accept a Proposal, For Women" 28/8/2009
Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of
these questions should consider carefully before accepting
a proposal of marriage.
On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you
could help with his laundry?
To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call
the local adult bookstore?
Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of "Gilligan's
Island" ...
0 Comentários, 61 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,2.36 Pontuação
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WET PANTS 2/8/2009
Come with me to a third grade classroom.There is a nine-year-old
kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle
between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks
his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine
how this has happened. It's never happened before,
and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear
the end of it. When the girls find ...
0 Comentários, 29 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,5.35 Pontuação
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Cuando Israel fui invadido por un OVNI 17/7/2009
Erase en el reino de Israel, que el joven rey Salomon solia
estar en la terraza de su palacio, escribiendo sus famosos
versos, cuando un objeto brillante volaba alrededor de
su palacio. El objeto se detuvo cabal arriba del joven rey,
cuando al instante, dos figuras aparecieron de la nada
rodeados de una luz brillante a su lado, y le dijeron, ,
-Queremos hablar con tu lider.
-Ah, si ...
5 Comentários, 79 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,0.98 Pontuação
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EL PODER DE LA MUJER 13/6/2009
Un helicoptero, realizando una obra de rescate, bajo la
cuerda para subir a 11 personas en un una barco que se estaba
hundiendo. Eran 10 hombres y una mujer.
Todos tomaron de la cuerda para ser levantados. Pero como
eran muchos y la cuerda se podria reventar, llegaron a la
conclusion que alguien tenia que soltar la cuerda. Pero
nadie podia decidir quien tendria que hacerlo. ...
7 Comentários, 190 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,4.74 Pontuação
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El barbero cristiano 13/6/2009
Habia un barbero cristiano que una vez se puso a pensar que
nunca habia compartido su fe con sus . El siguiente
dia cuando habria su taller decidio que hiba a empezar hacerlo
con el primer que entrara.
Cabal cuando apenas habrio su taller, entra un hombre y
le dice, ,"Necesito, por favor, que me afeite".
"Si, claro, " le contesto el barbero, "tome
asiento aqui. En un momento ...
9 Comentários, 110 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,5.08 Pontuação
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El abogado 13/6/2009
[no es de relaciones en pareja pero lo oi y me parecio bien]
IBA UNA manana hacia su trabajo un abogado, de pronto ve
en la avenida unas personas dobladas, comiendo pasto,
se detiene y pregunta al hombre: "Oigame que hace
usted aqui comiendo pasto?" Le contesta el hombre:
"Es que no tenemos que comer y decidimos come pasto."
El abogado los invita a su casa, les abre la ...
5 Comentários, 231 Visualizações,
41 Votos
,1.59 Pontuação
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Caramba! 13/6/2009
Acabo de leer esta noticia comica: EN UNA autopista en Israel
esta detenido el transito, un tapon, como diriamos aca.
LA POLICIA DE iSRAEL FUE A INVESTIGAR La causa del tapon.
Y cual seria su sorpres cuando descubrio una mujer y su pasajero
teniendo \bsexo?\b en el carro.[claro buena excusa para
hacer cola] Comenzaron su romance sin siquiera orillarse, CAUSANDO
CONGESTION Y DEJANDO A OTROS ...
3 Comentários, 48 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,1.30 Pontuação
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Los Portones del Cielo 13/6/2009
Después de una larga enfermedad, una mujer muere y llega
a los portones del Cielo. Mientras espera por San Pedro,
ella ve a través de las rejas a sus padres, amigos y todos
los que habían partido antes que ella, sentados a una mesa,
apreciando un banquete maravilloso.
Cuando San Pedro llega, ella le comenta:
- ¡Qué lugar tan lindo! ¿Cómo hago para entrar? - Yo voy a decir ...
3 Comentários, 53 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,5.22 Pontuação
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Una pequeña dosis de humor 13/6/2009
Hermanos, he visto que han estado un poco cansados y quise
regalarles este pequeño artículo de humar para comenzar
un año lleno de grandes risotadas. 
El de las Exageraciones
- Un predicador, llega al templo antes que todos los feligreses.
Dentro del mismo se topa con el conserje que está barriendo.
Hermano, ¡Dios le bendiga!, esta noche necesito que me
ayude ...
3 Comentários, 50 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
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El Papa y los 7 Enanitos 13/6/2009
Los siete enanitos están de viaje por Europa, y han llegado
a Roma. Ya que andan por ahí, piden audiencia para hablar
con el Papa, y se la conceden.
Éstos ingresan a la sala de audiencia, encabezados por
Gruñón. El Papa los saluda:
- Queridos hermanos, ¿Queréis preguntarme algo? ¿Hay
algo que os inquiete?
Gruñón se adelanta:
- Disculpe Santidad, ...
2 Comentários, 35 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,1.47 Pontuação
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How Adam had it easy...... 12/6/2009
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man
she could have married. 2. He had no in-laws to drop in. 3. There was no Jones for him to keep up with. 4. There were no credit cards or shopping centers. 5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe. 7. He never had to shovel snow. 8. If he had gone bald, who would have known ...
0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.02 Pontuação
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Words Women Use, OK Men Don't Say I Didn't Warn You 31/7/2008
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they
are Right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half
an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something
and you should ...
1 Comentários, 46 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,3.08 Pontuação
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