How Did I Get Here? (1st in a series)
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Posted:Nov 28, 2007 7:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2008 7:51 am 3313 Views
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Now, I've attended a few churches as a good Christian should...and I've served in various ministries and positions in those churches...so I have been privy to the behind-the-scenes stuff as well as the sho....I mean the publicly attended services!
So, when I got saved...or maybe its why? Anyhow, this may apply to alot of you...maybe not, but its my story...so quit interrupting! LOL
I got saved essentially because my life as it was did not work. Period...end of story! I know...great testimony that is! Oh...ok, you mean want the "entertaining" version?
Drugs? Did 'em, smoked 'em, popped 'em, snorted and shot 'em! Alcohol? Did it, drank it, drank yours, theirs, mine and ours. Lust? Well...lets just say I've never met a stranger. I've lied, cheated and stolen...I have beaten and been beaten, and not just with fists. I didn't get the t-shirt....I designed the t-shirt.
And in the end, all parties are over...and we have to go home somewhere, someplace, to someone. And, eventually it all becomes a bore! Yep, thats truth of it. If you ride the rollercoaster a thousand times...its just not exciting anymore. As B.B. King sings, "The Thrill Is Gone"!
Day after day, the mundane tedium of life and what it had become...well...I was convinced if my life now wasn't hell, then it must be the duplex next door to it!
So...what do you do now? Well, I guess its time to settle down, get married...have a family...get a steady job...ok, don't take this the wrong way...BUT, if you don't know Jesus (and I think I've established that up to this point)That is a hell WORSE than the Drugs, the alcohol and the "carnal pursuits"!
OH, how can you say such a thing? Well, when I was single I did all those things as they were part of some unholy fellowship; a ritual that was supposed to produce fun....a good time. After I got married and settled down, I began to do Drugs and alcohol because I wanted to forget...and I wanted to be numb. And that friends isn't hedonism, it doesn't even pretend to have the appearance of fun and/or good times...nobodies laughing.
This is the "Gray World". Or as my father, the former Marine Corps D.I. would say, " A world of...*ahem*..."manure". Nothing matters. Not anything...no joy, no happiness, no satisfaction, no accomplishment. I never reached a place even then where I was suicidal, BUT from where I was it was waving me over from across a crowded intersection.
I mean, what good woman would marry such a man as that? Essentially, only one that was at least as amoral as I was! I thought she had been married before---singular---as in once before. To this day I know I was at LEAST # 5!!! And no, she was certainly not the woman at the well!
Not only did she do Drugs and alcohol to excess...not only did her do Drugs and alcohol to excess...she did Drugs and alcohol WITH her to excess! Oooo....yeah, check please!
Sooooo...thats pretty much what made me go, "IF hell is worse than this...I don't EVEN want to visit!" Which was quickly followed by this little epiphany, "AND IF hell is worse than this, then heaven MUST be (at least) that much BETTER (than this...life)...so therefore...well, shoot...I been playing for the wrong team!"
So I run...do not walk...do not pass go, do not collect $200.00...but RUN to the nearest church and give my life to Jesus (In my minds eye I see a holding up a broken toy; pieces falling out of his hands and saying, "Mr. Jesus? Can you fix this for me?!")!
And, I get saved..and baptized...yep, go to the alter, hugs, back slapping, hand shaking, laughing, all around...Hallelujah, Bless God and Amen brother! I feel better than I've felt in a long time...no wait, thats not true...I feel better than I've ever felt! All the while everyone is telling me how much better and different my life is going to be! Hey! Thats great, thats fantastic...hold on a second!?
I mean I feel different...but I don't feel so different that I think I know how to change my day-to-day routine?! Hey, thats why I came here, right? And if my life changes...how will I know what to do? And how will I know whats changing for good and whats just a bunch of baloney thats changing so I won't recognize it as the "same song/different tempo" that I had done before?
I need a list of rules or a pamphlet or something I can refer to...I need a 12 step program or a number to call...I mean what do I do now?! Don't make me go home with a smile and a "feelgood" moment...my wife will suck the joy out of that in a heartbeat...I know because I've seen her do it...she will roll that up and smoke it right in front of me.
And here is what I was told:
Hey...calm down "brotha" your a of the most high God...(pausing for effect)...now. , your going to Heaven (though pronounced heh-b'n) now! All you got to do is come to church twice a week, pay your Tithe...and its all -shine and rainbows till the Lord returns!!! Hallelujah!
great...I'm ecstatic. woo-flippin'-hoo.
Yeah, like thats going to happen. Now its all startin' to come into focus. And I'm lookin at all these folks and they really believe this, they ain't faking this; they're NOT trying to sell me on it...they really and truly believe what they are telling me here!?
And where is Jim Jones and his nuclear Kool-Aid when you need him?
The other thing I'm starting to notice is the whole time all these "fellas" are talking to me....they ain't looking at me...they're scoping out womens chests and legs and backsides...on the peripheral of course...but, and I don't know a deacon from a bishop at this point, but I know a "playah" when I see one!
Which leads me to the "sisters". Now their all dressed proper, hair pins and a very modest dab of make-up, no jewelry and dresses from the ankle to the neck, and the sleeves to the wrist. But I had dated enough catholic school girls in my day to know it ain't always about what your wearing, but how you work it girlfriend! SNAP!!!
And yeah, alot of these ladies were working the room...cuz just like I know a "playah" when I see one, I know a "hoochie momma" when I see one too!
And from somewhere inside my mind I can hear the voice of an Apollo 13 astronaut saying:
"Houston...(static)...we have a problem."
(to be continued)
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Some Things I Like
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Posted:Nov 27, 2007 6:03 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2008 7:51 am 3224 Views
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I suppose I could have included much of this in all of that "about me" stuff in my profile?! However, alot of those things I would like to qualify as to why I like them rather than just stating a list (I mean...that ain't no fun!).
Motorcycles - Man...I love motorcycles...that seems like one of the most free, enjoyable things someone could do is just ride off in the country or someplace and just enjoy the journey, no destination...
But here's the catch...I've ridden 3 times in my life, and I've wrecked all 3 times! OK, folks thats not coincidence...its not a trend...thats a sign! If we had found that in the Bible, it would be elegible to be declared a doctrine! LOL
Its not that I can't ride well...or I should say, its not that I don't understand how to ride a motorcycle...its just I'm incapable of it!
There is just something about getting on a motorcycle that compels to see how fast I can go.
Fences, buildings, stop signs and even other vehicles don't appear all that intimidating when your flying by on a motorcycle...at least not until IMPACT!!!
These days I pacify myself with admiring them from a safe distance.
The Road Not Taken - Given the above on motorcycles, this seems like a good follow-up to that huh? But, I am of course referring to the poem by Robert Frost. It may have occurred to a few of you by now...I may have taken this "fearfully and wonderfully made" thing to a new level (emphasis fearfully)! My mother would say I am the literal personification of "peculiar people"...and I've said all that to say "The Road Not Taken" is biographical to me...so, therefore I like it!
I like how there is a struggle between the choice of paths. Knowing that to take one is to forsake the other! But to look back and see not only has the choice affected us in our journey, but in who we are! Yes, grasshopper...think upon these things.
City Of Angels - The movie with Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan. Now while it is in no way accurate in a biblical sense, there is a certain discourse between Cage and Ryans characters in this film I find...hmmmm...intriguing... compelling... attractive...I may even admit to covetous (sorry...but it is the truth).
Anytime that Nicholas Cage's character speaks with Meg Ryan's character...he acts like that whatever she has to say is the most important thing ever said!? He hangs on every word...even to the point of asking her to describe what a pear tastes like, AND to describe it the way Hemingway would have wrote about it?!
WOW...thats powerful!
Would I like for someone to look at me like that and listen to me like that?! Darn tootin' there scooter! But, the power in such a thing is not desiring to be heard in that way...that friends, would be too easy. I want and desire to listen to someone like that! Tell me what a pear tastes like in a such a way that I am moved to tears! Tell me how your day was so that I am awed as if you were speaking about nuclear fusion!
And theres the rub...its not what she says...its not the way she says it...its not even who she is...but who she is to him! What more need be said to that?!
Second scene: Cage and Ryan are in a library...Ryans's character is rambling on about what he does for a living, how he dresses, etc., and Cage's character Interrupts:
Cage : You are a very good doctor.
Ryan : How would you know?
Cage : I...uhhh, have a feeling.
Ryan : Feeling? Feelings are hardly substantial evidence of capability!
Cage : Close your eyes and give me your hand (as he moves closer to her and begins to slowly run his index finger from the tip of her middle finger to the palm of her hand...all the while speaking softly near her ear)What am I doing?
Ryan : You...your touching me...?!
Cage : How do you know?
Ryan : Because I can... (and her eyes open in understanding)...feel it.
OK, not only is that an excellent example of Hebrews 11: 1, but who wouldn't identify with either of those characters at that moment? It encompasses love (not only romantic love, but even a reflection of Agape love)and trust, and a certain sweetness that too often is left forgotten at the alter of our innocence these days.
Sooo...thats a few things I really like. How about you?
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I Thought This A Nice Little Item...
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Posted:Nov 27, 2007 8:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2008 7:52 am 2871 Views
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I was reading something yesterday and this story was used as an analogy. I found it rather profound, and therefore, thought I would share it today!
Imagine a vast hall in Anglo-Saxon England, not long after the passing of King Arthur. It is the dead of winter and a fierce snowstorm rages outside, but a great fire fills the space within the hall with warmth and light. Now and then, a sparrow darts in for refuge from the weather. It appears as if from nowhere, flits about joyfully in the light, and then disappears again, and where it comes from and where it goes next in that stormy darkness, we do not know.
Our lives are like that, suggests and old story in Bede's medieval history of England. We spend our lives in the familiar world of our five senses, but what lies beyond that, if anything, we have no idea. Those sparrows are hints of something more outside - a vast world, perhaps, waiting to be explored. But, most of us are happy to stay where we are. We may even be a bit afraid to venture into the unknown. What would be the point, we wonder. Why should we leave the world we know?
Yet there are always a few who are not content to spend their lives indoors. Simply knowing there is something unknown beyond their reach that makes them restless. They have to see what lies outside - if only, as Mallory said of Everest, "because it's there."
This is true of adventurers of every kind, but especially of those who seek to explore not mountains or jungles but consciousness itself: whose real drive, we might say, is not so much to know the unknown as to know the Knower. Such men and women can be found in every age and every culture. while the rest of us stay put, they quietly slip out to see what lies beyond.
Then, so far as we can tell, they disappear. We have no idea where they have gone; we can't even imagine. But every now and then, like friends who have run off to some exotic land, they send back reports: breathless messages describing fantastic adventures, rambling letters about a world beyond ordinary experience, urgent telegrams begging us to come and see. "Look at this view! Isn't it breathtaking? Wish you could see this. Wish you were here."
For me at least, this sounds, if not like my walk with Christ; then my desire to walk with Him! It calls to me and awakens me to that desire to set off on my life's next adventure! Who's with me? LOL
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Thank You!
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Posted:Nov 27, 2007 7:34 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2007 8:58 am 2736 Views
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Thanks to everyone who has so warmly welcomed me to blogland! To the several who wished my "search" to be fruitful...thank you also (or additionally)...not sure what or IF I'm searching for anything here, but its the thought that counts right?!
Anyway, it is nice to feel so warmly welcomed by so many!
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Quotes
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Posted:Nov 26, 2007 7:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2008 7:52 am 2953 Views
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I thought I might share some quotes to get us started and aquainted with each other.
While it is apparent most of these quotes are NOT of a Christian origin, they do contain the element of truth to them (for even the most foresaken get something right sometimes). It is in the observation of life and living that we may learn the truth of life, if NOT life well-lived. Please feel free to share any you enjoy as well.
The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. Socrates
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. Plato
A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what ships are made for. William Shedd
There are times when a person should be content with what they have, but never with what they are. William George Jordan
Constant dripping hollows out a stone. Lucretius
Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. Chinese Proverb
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. Shira Tehrani
All dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
and finally:
Thou shalt NOT be a victim.
Thou shalt NOT be a perpetrator.
Above all, thou shalt NOT be a bystander.
Holocaust Museum, Washington DC
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Let Me Introduce Myself
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Posted:Nov 26, 2007 4:53 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2008 7:53 am 3191 Views
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'ello! Lesessmore here (as in "less is more"). Just wanted to take a moment and introduce myself and get this blog started. I hope you (whoever you are?)enjoy anything I have to share on a daily (hopefully it'll be daily) basis?!
I have taken the liberty to peruse some of the blogs here in order to get a general pulse of the people. Well, as I said...just wanted to say hi and get my blog set-up and running! I hope to be posting soon (or at least posting something of a more substantial nature!).
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