The End of Every Man
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Posted:Dec 18, 2009 1:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3138 Views
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The End of Every Man Ecclesiastes 7:2
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.
As this verse in Ecclesiastes reminds us, knowing that we will die someday should affect how we live today.
Unfortunately, many people never seem to understand what's important in life until they are faced with the end of it. A few years ago I received a letter illustrating this truth:
Frank was a wonderful man, but he was also stern and stoic; he taught his three boys to be strong, tough, no more tears, no more hugs and only manly handshakes at bedtimes. He liked things done his way. He was not a good listener.
Frank [developed] an incurable form of cancer that spread from his legs to his lungs, spleen and various parts of his body. He was 43 years old. Within days of learning he had cancer, he gave his life to Jesus. Frank began to trust in Jesus Christ and go to Him for strength and courage.
Hugging and loving his sons became a daily absolute in their lives. He shared from his heart with the boys, cried with them, told them how proud he was of them and how very much he loved them. He became the listening, loving husband every wife dreams of.
His last four months here on earth were filled with laughter and good times with his family. Even though the cancer was taking over his body, God gave him a quality life to the end. Frank prepared his family for his death and for the task ahead of them, so that they, too, would one day reach the goal and stand before the Throne.
Frank was fortunate to learn his true priorities while he still had a chance. I can't help but think of Senator Paul Tsongas, who said after his third bout with cancer: "I think of all the fathers who have young and play golf all day Saturday and Sunday. They've never had cancer. I think of the husbands who never voice their affections for their wives. They've never had cancer."
Prayer:
That God would give you the ability to live by those priorities.
Discuss: What would you do if you learned you had only one year to live?
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The Proverbs 31 Woman?
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Posted:Dec 17, 2009 2:57 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 2959 Views
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The Proverbs 31 Woman? Proverbs 31:10
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
One of our favorite types of broadcasts on "FamilyLife Today" is the "Mom Check" day. We call some stay-at-home mothers we know around the country and just ask how their day is going.I always enjoy asking these women how their houses look. A woman in Dallas with a new baby said, "Our bedroom's a disaster! Nicole's cradle is in there. The swing's in there. My desk has become a makeshift changing table. Diapers are all over. We've gotten 30 million gifts of girls' outfits, and the corners are filled with clothes."
We called my wife, Barbara, and she described the kitchen: "Oh, it's a mess, as always. Let's see, we still have blueberry muffins out. There are dishes in the sink and crumbs on the floor and laundry on the dining room table that I folded this morning. And a basket sitting on a chair that's mounded with ready-to-be-folded laundry."
Then there was Brenda, a friend in Portland. I loved her comment: "Our house is a wreck. The kitchen is filled with dirty dishes. But it's been a great day. My priorities have been in order."
Now, I know that many people look upon the wife and mother described in Proverbs 31 as some sort of "Super Woman" who never did anything wrong. But let me ask you this: Do you think her home was dirty at times? Do you think she always folded her laundry?
While this woman was praised-"She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness" (v. 27)-she was not perfect. The way I see it, her praise was based not on the neatness of her household but on the priorities she lived by.
One of the great tragedies of recent decades is that too many people judge the performance of a "housewife" by the tidiness of her home. We need to be able to pull back and know what's important. You may have a floor that needs to be mopped or a refrigerator that needs to be cleaned. You may have with sniffles. It all feels like it's pressing in on you.
But 10-15 years from now, what is going to matter? What will your recall most about you?
Do you want to be remembered for the love you gave your and the godly character you modeled for them?
Prayer:
Ask God to help you keep your perspective as you fulfill your responsibilities as wife and mother. Men, pray for your wives-then help them!
Discuss: How important is keeping a clean house to you? Why?
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Sticks and Stones
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Posted:Dec 15, 2009 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3132 Views
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Sticks and Stones... Proverbs 17:5 (NIV)
He who mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker.
When I was in first grade, a few friends and I began to choose who would be "in" and who would be "out." One of the first "outs" was Lois. She came from a poor family and couldn't dress as well as the others. She was also slow in class, which didn't help. So we quickly excluded her.The "in" group rejected Lois as a person-slowly at first, but ruthlessly as the years passed. By the time we reached high school, she was the butt of countless jokes. When we were seniors, she had such an inferiority complex that I don't recall seeing her look up from the floor that entire year.
Years later I recognized my false values and my haughty, foolish evaluation of Lois. I wept when I thought about my cruelty to her. I asked God to forgive me for my arrogant, childish behavior. She was made in the image of God every bit as much as I was.
Peers can have poisonous tongues. William Hazlitt wrote, "A nickname is the hardest stone the devil can throw at a man." Some never forget the names they have been called.
Here are a few nicknames we've come across: Dummy, Pit-i-ful Paul, Messy, Fatso, Peewee, Runt, Brick-Brain, Ornery, Grasshopper Brain, Yo-Yo, Troublemaker, Slow Learner, Bones, Motor-Mouth, Sloppy, Sleepy, Devil's , Nerd, Turkey, Lardo, Bird Legs, Space Cadet, Rebellious, Simple Sally, Buzzard-Beak, Metal-Mouth, Freckle-Face, Weirdo and Geek. Names like these can really hurt.
The way your mate views himself today was heavily influenced by his peers as he grew up. Even today, your mate may be very peer-dependent. He may self-consciously wonder if he's wearing "just the right" outfit or using "just the right" lingo. He may doubt his ability to relate to your friends.
As we've said elsewhere in this devotional, you are a mirror to your mate. You can still stop those condemning voices from his past by replacing them with positive words in the present.
Prayer:
That you will take the opportunity to build your mate's self-esteem with positive words.
Discuss: How did your peers view you as you grew up? What were your nicknames as you grew up? Share any feelings about those experiences with your spouse.
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What Communicate Love to Women? Part 2
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Posted:Dec 14, 2009 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3059 Views
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What Communicates Love to Women? (Part Two) by Barbara Rainey The Song of Solomon 2:16
"My beloved is mine, and I am his."
As Dennis wrote in the last devotional, the best way to learn what says "I love you" to your wife is to ask her. But to give you a little more help, we surveyed 800 people at our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences. Here is our top 10 list, in reverse order, of what communicates romantic love to women.10. Holding hands. To a woman, this simple act communicates closeness. It says, "I want to be close to you and I like you."
9. Massage. Many woman are reluctant to ask their husbands for foot rubs or back rubs because they know that most men tend to see massage as sexual foreplay. But women often enjoy massages with no strings attached.
8. Acts of servanthood and sacrifice. Sometimes it's as simple as opening the door for your wife or cleaning the dishes after dinner. When a husband denies himself, even in little ways, he tells her he cares about her and he wants to make her feel special.
7. A kiss. It's interesting that men ranked this higher than women. I suspect women would rank kissing higher if they didn't know from experience that their husbands usually don't want to stop with a kiss.
6. Taking a walk together. Again, this is not usually high on men's lists. It's very relational. When you go for a walk with your husband, you are taking a break from daily responsibilities and distractions. You're away from the telephone and the television, away from , away from work. It allows you to focus on the relationship in a nonthreatening way.
After looking at this part of the list, I was struck with how God has made women different from one another. And how, as a woman, different things communicate romantic love to me at different times. But we all have one thing in common, we want to feel that our husbands love us.
Prayer:
That God would develop within you the desire to communicate love to your wife without any expectation of her response.
Discuss: Look over this devotion with your wife and ask her, "Which of these items most communicate love to you?"
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What Communicate Love to Women? Part 3
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Posted:Dec 14, 2009 9:35 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3044 Views
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What Communicates Love to Women? (Part Three) by Barbara Rainey The Song of Solomon 2:16
"My beloved is mine, and I am his."
Continuing my top 10 list of romantic things you can do for your wife:5. Written notes, letters or cards. Recently, I was cleaning our bathroom and I found an old note from Dennis: "Have you found all your little notes around that say how much I love you?" He had once left notes like this all around the house, and I had a great time searching for them. I had taped this one on a closet wall in the bathroom just to remind me what a wonderful husband I had.
4. Going out on a date. Again, a date means time away, with no , just the two of you. A wife likes to be the focus of her husband's attention. She enjoys having a block of time where she has him all to herself.
3. Having special meals together. You can put the to bed a little early and have a quiet candlelight dinner at home. You can pick up your wife at her office at noon and take her for a short picnic.
2. Touch. I'm not talking about sexual touch here, but hugging, cuddling, caressing without expectation of a later payoff.
Many women never received much physical affection from their parents. So they grow up with a longing for physical touch, and if all they get from their husbands is touch that is tied to sex, they will begin thinking, He really doesn't love me that much. He just needs me for his own pleasure.
And finally we come to the end of my list:
1. Flowers. Many men never understand the power of flowers on women, and I'm not sure if I understand it myself. I think flowers say, "You are special." I think perhaps it's because flowers are so frivolous-they will wilt and die in a few days, but for that brief period of time you see a constant bright reminder that your husband loves you.
You'll note that a few themes run through this list: Women want to feel special. They want you to show love without an expectation of sex. For women, romance = relationship.
Prayer:
That God will enable you to keep romance alive in your marriage.
Discuss: Again, look through this list and ask your wife which items most communicate love to her. Talk about the equation: romance = relationship. Agree/disagree?
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Singing in the Fire
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Posted:Dec 11, 2009 8:44 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3214 Views
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Singing in the Fire Psalm 137:3
For there our captors demanded of us songs, and our tormentors mirth, saying, "Sing us one of the songs of Zion."
Gil Beers, former editor of Christianity Today magazine, told the story of an ancestor that you may want to remember the next time family trials put you to the test.* Beers's great-great-grandmother to the eighth great was Catharine duBois. One day in 1663 a band of Minnisink Indians swept down from the Catskill Mountains and captured Catharine and her , along with several other women and .
After 10 days, the Indians, thinking they had avoided reprisal, decided to celebrate their success by putting Catharine and her to death by fire. They placed the captives on a pile of logs and lit the torch to ignite them.
Instead of screaming at her tormentors and cursing them, or God, for her plight, Catharine duBois burst into song! It was a Huguenot hymn she had learned in France, and it was based on Psalm 137:3. The Indians were so taken by her bravery and by the song itself that they demanded another, then another. And while Catharine duBois was still singing, her husband and a search party burst upon the scene and rescued her.
Don't think this story is farfetched when applied to your household just because the little "fires" you face aren't usually life threatening. There are many situations when a little singing, a little humor, can extinguish the flames of a dispute or a bit of tension in the home. In fact, parents who are habitually humming or singing at their places of work are surprisingly empowered to defuse crises and problems.
Paul and Silas knew this principle. When they were cast into prison in the city of Philippi, they prayed and sang-and an earthquake jarred them out of jail! Don't underestimate the power of song to break open downcast hearts in your home.
Prayer:
Ask God to enable you to burst into songs of praise when the challenge of the moment would seem most disheartening. *From "A Theology to Die By," Christianity Today, (February 6, 1987: 11.) Used by permission.
Discuss: Why do you think singing can have such an uplifting effect? Pull out an old hymnal and sing some songs at the dinner table tonight.
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Is Your Family Part of God's Family?
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Posted:Dec 10, 2009 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3144 Views
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Is Your Family Part of God's Family? John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten , that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.
Years ago our family went on a vacation to Yosemite National Park. As we walked among giant Sequoia trees, we found one that was particularly enormous. A sign at its base read: "The Faithful Couple." A park ranger explained that this was actually two trees. Some 1,500 years ago two trees sprouted as seedlings about 15 feet apart. After some 800 years, their trunks grew close enough to touch, and began to fuse with each other. We all looked up, and sure enough, 40 or 50 feet above our heads we could see the two trees reappearing.I thought, What a perfect symbol of a godly family. The members are fused together as one, yet each has his or her individual identity. As they grow upward in their relationship with God, they grow closer to each other, and are able, like the mighty redwood, to withstand life's storm because they are one.
That's the key to a great marriage-a commitment to growing closer to God. To experience this, however, you first must make sure you are part of God's family-that you have received Christ as your Savior and Lord.
Over 30 years ago, Bill Bright developed a simple way to understand what being in God's family means. He called these principles "The Four Spiritual Laws" and put them in little booklets that have spread around the world to be used to lead literally millions of people to a saving faith in Jesus Christ.
If you have never understood the gospel, I encourage you to read the Four Spiritual Laws at the end of this book.
Prayer:
That your family members will be able to blend their individualities into a single, strong and firmly rooted tree in the vineyard of the Lord.
Discuss: Have you received Christ as your Savior? Share at dinner tonight what led you to make that decision. How has your life changed since then?
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Taking a Stand
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Posted:Dec 9, 2009 10:20 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3237 Views
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Taking a Stand Matthew 5:13-14
"You are the salt of the earth... You are the light of the world."
Salt is a preservative, and light dispels darkness. As I see it, Christians need to take responsibility to lovingly confront the foolishness and wickedness that crosses our paths. You and I can't just turn our heads, acting like evil doesn't exist. We've got to step into the battle personally and confront it.Recently Barbara and I were chaperoning a junior-high dance. I was a little late in getting there, and when I arrived I was told that, in a dark part of the dance floor a number of students were using some questionable dance moves.
I eased my way back toward the students in question and was amazed, shocked and embarrassed at what I saw. About two dozen were involved in a dance that looked like intercourse with clothes on.
I was faced with a dilemma-do something or do nothing. I was finally pushed over the edge and into action when two boys and a girl began a particularly vulgar move. I walked up to them, tapped the boys on the shoulder and said, "You've gone too far. This is indecent-knock it off!" As they backed away from the girl I looked her in the eyes and scolded her, "You shouldn't let boys treat you that way. It's immodest and vulgar. They are robbing you of your dignity as a young woman!"
It was interesting that those knew what they were doing was shameful. They just needed someone who cared enough to confront them.
For years our nation has trumpeted the value of "tolerance" above all other values. Tolerance says that there are no moral absolutes that govern us. That one person's beliefs are just as valid as another. Many adults would be shocked that I tried to "impose my standards" on those junior-high at the dance.
Unfortunately, this supposed ideal of tolerance has ushered in a culture that does not know right from wrong, and we're all sitting on the sidelines watching our culture slide.
Prayer:
That God would give you the courage to be "salt" and "light" in our culture.
Discuss: What prevents you from taking a stronger public stand for morality?
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God's Moments for Mom
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Posted:Dec 7, 2009 1:11 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 4329 Views
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God's Moments for Mom by Barbara Rainey Galatians 6:9
And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.
For me, being a mom is both my greatest joy and my area of greatest challenge and worry. But sometimes I believe God gives mothers special, fulfilling moments to keep us hanging in there.One day my Ashley and I went shopping, and as we came in carrying all the bags, a big bottle of cream rinse fell out of Ashley's arms, hit the garage floor and splattered everywhere. All I could say was, "Oh, Ashley!" Though I didn't form the words, my voice implied, "How could you be so careless?"
After cleaning up the mess I went inside and suggested that the help pick up the house a bit. Ashley made an uncharacteristic comment about the house being so messy it wouldn't make much difference anyway. My pride was offended at the truth of her statement, but I said nothing.
That night I found a note from Ashley: "Dear Mommy, I am sorry I called your house a messy place. Will you forgive me? And the rinse breaking. It was dumb. I hope you and I can go shopping again. Love you more than you can imagine. Love in Christ. Ashley."
One Christmas I received a similar note that also took me from the depths to the heights. I had bawled out Benjamin for messing up his bedroom. Afterward I said, "Benjamin, all you are going to remember about me is that I griped at you and I yelled about picking up your room."
That night he gave me a note that said, "Thank you for being a great mom. That's what I will remember the most. I love you, Benjamin."
Yes, being a mother can be challenging, hard, frustrating and lonely, but there are those priceless moments that come every day in the form of a note, a quick hug and a kiss, or something said as only a can say it.
Prayer:
Ask God to empower you with wisdom, equip you with patience and reward you with joy in the challenge of parenting.
Discuss: What part of being a parent do you find the most rewarding? Frustrating? Recall a time when one of your made being a parent all worthwhile.
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Hide and Seek (Part One)
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Posted:Dec 4, 2009 11:08 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:11 am 3128 Views
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Hide and Seek (Part One) Genesis 3:8
And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
Remember playing "hide and seek" when you were a ? My cousins and I usually played it just before dark. One was designated "It." While"It" covered his or her eyes (maybe) and counted out loud to 50 or 100, the rest of us scurried to our elusive hiding spots. Then "It" would try to find us before we dashed back to the safety of the "base," usually the trunk of a massive tree.I remember being significantly better at hiding than I was at seeking. No one could find me. But after awhile, even the sheer joy of knowing that I had outwitted my buddies was overridden by my solitude. It was this loneliness that invariably would flush me out into the open.
In the same way, most of us are more adept at hiding than seeking in our relationships. The human race is well trained in hiding-we've been doing it since the beginning of time. When Adam and Eve got into trouble in the Garden of Eden, the first thing they did was to run and hide. They hid from one another-the notorious fig leaf cover-up. Then they tried to conceal their disobedience by hiding from God.
From that point on, we've worn masks in our relationships, both with God and with other human beings. We hide because we are afraid to unmask ourselves and let people see us for who we really are. We feel that if others discover our faults, they'll reject us.
The problem is that God did not create us to hide. In the garden, He sought out Adam and Eve. And today He pursues us and challenges us to come out of our sinful, self-absorbed isolation and yield to being discovered both by Him and by our spouses.
Prayer:
To be truly "discovered" both by God and by your mate.
Discuss: Are you aware of keeping a part of your life hidden from your mate or from God?
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