God's Blueprints for Marriage Part 2
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Posted:Feb 19, 2010 9:04 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 4059 Views
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God's Blueprints for Marriage (Part Two) Genesis 2:22
And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
To discover God's plan for marriage, let's return to Genesis 2. As we revisit the Garden of Eden, we watch the drama unfold. God makes Adam, but then says, "It isn't good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs"(see v. 1 . God causes a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. He takes one of his ribs and fashions it into the woman. There is a picture of completeness, and I also believe it's a picture of oneness because man and woman are made from the same material. But now we have an all-important question: How would Adam receive Eve? The way many read the familiar Genesis account, Adam's response seems rather ho-hum: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (v. 23). But I like The Living Bible paraphrase: "This is it!" In other words, Adam was excited-he was beside himself!
Now, obviously, Eve looked pretty good to Adam. That's why he said, "This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." She definitely looked better to him than all the animals he had just named, but there is a cornerstone principle for marriage here that we don't want to miss: Adam had faith in God's integrity.
Eve had done nothing to earn Adam's response. Adam knew only one thing about Eve-she was a gift from the God he knew intimately. Adam simply accepted her because God made her for him, and he knew that God could be trusted.
Today, God wants us to receive the spouse He has custom made for us. He can still be trusted.
To reject your mate is to reflect negatively on the character of God. It's as though you are saying, "God, You slipped up, You didn't know what You were doing when You provided this person for me." Rejection of your mate for weakness, or for any other reason, is disobedience toward God and failure to fulfill His plan and purpose for your life.
Will you receive your spouse as God's gift for you?
Prayer: Thank God for His gift to you of your spouse.
Discuss: Is there anything about your mate that you don't accept? Are there areas in which you don't feel accepted by your mate?
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God's Blueprints for Marriage Part 1
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Posted:Feb 18, 2010 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2010 11:54 am 7778 Views
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God's Blueprints for Marriage (Part One) Psalm 127:1
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.
I was traveling in Southern California not long ago and stopped for a red light at an intersection around 6:30 A.M. There was an old restaurant at that corner and a crew was already at work, renovating and restoring it. Like little ants, the carpenters and other construction workers were moving about the building and almost every one of them had the same thing in his hand or under his arm: blueprints. It seemed that everywhere I looked somebody was referring to blueprints, holding them up and looking at what was going there and what would be going over here.
The light changed and I drove on, but that brief scene stuck in my mind. It teaches a simple truth. You don't start building or renovating without blueprints.
Many marriages today certainly need renovation. And to do it right, we need to go back to the original blueprints-the divine blueprints.
Earlier in this devotional we looked at God's purposes for marriage. Now I want to look at God's plan to accomplish these purposes.
I often meet Christian couples who have problems because they make a common mistake: As sincere Christians they believe they are automatically living their lives according to the correct plan. The trouble with that naive reasoning is that many different blueprints compete for their commitment.
Unfortunately, many Christian couples never stop to evaluate the blueprints they're working from. Many give into the temptation to just increase the speed at which they build. They rush through life getting married, rearing and constructing what they believe are perfect buildings. But they find at the end that the plans they were building from were flawed. They had worked with a counterfeit instead of the real thing.
Prayer: That God would use the next few devotions to give you insight about His blueprints for marriage.
Discuss: If someone asked you "What plan do you have for making your marriage work?" how would you answer? Are you both building your marriage and family from the same set of blueprints?
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The Problem with Pride
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Posted:Feb 17, 2010 9:48 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2586 Views
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The Problem with Pride Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom.
"Pride," said Soviet dissident Alexander Solzhenitzyn, "grows in the human heart like lard on a pig." Pride is one of the few things that can grow in the human heart without any sustenance. And although it seems to flourish more visibly in some people, all the human race suffers under its malignant grip. Pride has many different faces. It can try to demand control: "I want it my way"; "I want to be my own god, run my own show and submit to no one."
It can be seen in the stubborn-what the Scriptures call "stiff-necked" or "hard of heart." And it is most easily detected in those who carry themselves in an arrogant manner. When I was a we used to call like this stuck-up, snooty, snobbish, conceited or cocky.
It was the well-known evangelist Dwight L. Moody who commented on how God deals with pride: "God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves."
Daily I attempt to put "self" to death and ask that Jesus Christ might have unhindered access to every area of my life. Then, as I am tempted to get angry because things didn't go my way, I'm reminded that to give in to pride is death.
So what is the way of humility? To know God, and to know who you are in relation to Him. Philip Brooks once said: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show you what the real smallness of your greatness is."
My pride wants to say, "I don't need God-I'm perfectly happy without Him." But what amazes me is that real happiness comes when I'm willing to humble myself and do what He wills with my life. The process may be painful, but it also brings real joy.
Prayer: That God would show you the joy that comes with humility.
Discuss: In what areas of your life do you feel self-sufficient?
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Tutoring Your Mate (With His Permission)
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Posted:Feb 16, 2010 12:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2552 Views
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Tutoring Your Mate (With His Permission)
by Barbara Rainey Genesis 2:18
It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.
As a couple, Dennis and I assist one another in many areas such as punctuality, patience with , planning, feelings of discouragement, anger and worry. We have discovered our differences have made us more effective as a couple than we ever could have been individually. One area in which I have assisted Dennis is in his public speaking. Early in our marriage, I noticed that he was making obvious grammatical errors as he spoke. I felt free to offer help because, on more than one occasion, I also told him honestly that he communicated well.
So, one evening after a speech, I asked Dennis if I could make a suggestion that might make him more effective as a speaker. He agreed to hear me out. Although my critique was a little threatening, he confessed that he had not done well in English in school, and he welcomed my suggestions.
Some months later, on the way home from another speaking opportunity, Dennis told me, "I still want you to help me with my speaking, but I'd like you to wait a little while before you tell me the cold, hard truth."
I realized then that my technique needed refinement. I had been too quick to tell him the "truth," and my "help" had become a discouragement because it wasn't seasoned with enough praise or separated long enough from the actual event. Had I not modified my recommendations, I would have crossed the fine line separating acceptance from rejection.
If your mate grants you permission to help him or her in an area of weakness, ask God for wisdom in how to help. Offer your assistance in such a way that your mate experiences your acceptance and in no way senses rejection.
Prayer: That God will give you wisdom in how to sensitively help your mate and that you will be able to hear one another.
Discuss: What's the best way for your spouse to approach you when you need to be corrected or you need a little refinement? Talk about timing, location and style of communication.
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Why You Need Romance
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Posted:Feb 12, 2010 8:23 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 3737 Views
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Why You Need Romance Song of Solomon 8:6,7 (TL
[Love] flashes fire, the very flame of Jehovah. Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it.
There's a cynical one-liner that goes, "The period of engagement is like an exciting introduction to a dull book." And unfortunately, this is true for many couples. What is it about marriage that seems to dull our romantic creativity? At some point in almost every marriage, a couple realizes that they just don't experience the same romantic feelings they once enjoyed.
Romance is not the foundation of a marriage. But it is the fire in the fireplace; the warmth and security of a relationship that says, "We may have struggles, but I love you, and everything is okay."
We need that fire in our marriages because we are emotional beings. While we cannot base marriage on romantic feelings, we also can't deny our needs for closeness and intimacy. Without these qualities in a relationship, a couple will drift into isolation.
Barbara and I have had some great romantic highlights in our years together: a fall foliage trip to New England on our tenth anniversary, a getaway at a cozy bed-and-breakfast inn, candlelight dinners at home after the were in bed (when they were younger)...I could go on and on.
For us, adventure has always spelled romance. And I wasn't surprised one time when I asked Barbara, "Out of all the adventures and romantic times we've had together, what has been your favorite?"
Her answer: "Our honeymoon." For us it was an all-time memory maker. I won't bore you with the details, but I took weeks to plan a two-week honeymoon in the Colorado Rockies. We went camping (and, to our surprise, got some snow) and stayed in a cabin next to a roaring river.
She loved our time together because it was an adventure with plenty of time for just the two of us to talk and share our thoughts and our dreams.
I'll wager that your marriage could use some romance.
Prayer: Ask God to equip you to be the romantic partner your spouse needs you to be.
Discuss: As you look back on your time together, what have been the romantic highlights? Do you think you have lost some of that romantic fire you once had? What can you do to fan the embers?
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Fathers as Servant-Leaders
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Posted:Feb 11, 2010 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2616 Views
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Fathers as Servant-Leaders Ephesians 5:23,25
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church....Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
Our culture has spent more than two decades redefining the roles of husband and wife. At one extreme is the Oklahoma newspaper headline that said: "State House Repeals Law Appointing Husbands as Head of Household." At the other extreme is the man who thinks being the head of the house means his wife must obey his every whim without question. But the Scriptures clearly give us the model for being not only a man, but also a husband and father. I call that model the "servant-leader." According to this model, the husband and father is to lead, to love and to serve.
Webster's dictionary defines a leader as "someone who commands authority or influence, who shows the way, who guides or conducts, who directs and governs." God designed this position of responsibility, and the mantle of leadership comes along with it.
Flowing out of the responsibility to lead is the responsibility for husbands to love their wives-unconditionally. I can't help but wonder what must go through minds today as moms and dads have verbal slugfests. As leaders of the family, dads need, more than ever, to affirm their commitments to their wives and .
Serving his wife rounds out the husband's and father's role. Some men cannot understand the biblical definition of a leader as a servant. Even though He was Lord, Jesus said, "the of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matt. 20:2.
As your wife's servant, can you name her top three needs? What worries her? What circumstances quickly put her emotional gas tank on empty?
Men, let me challenge you to lead, to love and to serve.
Prayer: Men, pray that you will have the sensitivity to love and the humility to serve and lead your wives.
Discuss: As a father, rate yourself from one (highest) to five in all three categories: leading, loving and serving. See if you can answer the questions in the next to last paragraph.
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Accepting Your Mate Unconditionally
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Posted:Feb 10, 2010 8:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2477 Views
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Accepting Your Mate Unconditionally 1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.
Why is unconditional acceptance so important? Because if you accept only in part, you can love only in part. And if you love in part, your mate's self-esteem will never be complete. Remember, "Perfect love casts out fear." A powerful picture of how love casts out fear is found in the book Welcome Home, Davey. While serving aboard a gunboat in Vietnam, Dave Roever was holding a phosphorus grenade some six inches from his face when a sniper's bullet ignited the explosive. Here he describes the first time he saw his face after the explosion:
When I looked in that mirror, I saw a monster, not a human being... My soul seemed to shrivel up and collapse in on itself, to be sucked into a black hole of despair. I was left with an indescribable and terrifying emptiness. I was alone in the way the souls in hell must feel alone.
Finally he came back to the States to meet with his young bride, Brenda. Just before she arrived, he watched a wife tell another burn victim that she wanted a divorce. Then Brenda walked in.
Showing not the slightest tremor of horror or shock, she bent down and kissed me on what was left of my face. Then she looked me in my good eye, smiled, and said, "Welcome home, Davey! I love you." To understand what that meant to me you have to know that's what she called me when we were most intimate; she would whisper "Davey," over and over in my ear.... By using her term of endearment for me, she said, You are my husband. You will always be my husband. You are still my man.
That's what marriage is all about. Marriage is another person being committed enough to you to accept the real you. It means two people working together to heal their deepest wounds.
Prayer: That you would have the ability to love your mate unconditionally and heal his or her deepest fears and wounds.
Discuss: How has your self-esteem been strengthened by your mate's love?
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The Best and Worst of Times Part Two
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Posted:Feb 9, 2010 1:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2508 Views
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The Best and Worst of Times (Part Two) Ecclesiastes 12:13
The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments.
The doctors went to work on Barbara while Christians across the country prayed. Her heart beat so quickly (200-300 beats per minute) that it was not filling with blood, and her blood pressure went down. This low pressure could harm the baby if it continued. The doctor made a quick decision. Using electric shock, he successfully reduced her heart rate to 75 beats per minute. Afterward, through tears, we gave thanks for God's intervention in saving both Barbara and the baby.
We talked quite a bit after that terrifying event. Often we think we are in control. We think we can plan our lives. We struggle over so many insignificant things, but we find ourselves asking, "What really matters?"
In the midst of these best and worst of times, a certain book reached us like a beacon in the darkness. It's a book that rips away the veil of idealism about life. It deals with purpose and significance. It gives meaning to life's storms, to prosperity, to our search for security.
The book? Ecclesiastes.
In its pages Solomon paints the paradoxes of life better than Charles Dickens ever dreamed. Whether we're experiencing the best or worst of times, God must be our reference point (see Eccles. 12:13, above). If not, then life is emptiness-void of meaning.
As I drove away from the hospital later that afternoon, I reflected on how different people respond to crisis situations. And I wondered, What is their reference point for a life and death situation? Where do they find meaning? How do they make sense out of suffering?
That night, as I put our five to bed, we crowded together and prayed. Benjamin, then eight, prayed as only a can: "Father, we give thanks that Mommy got sick 'cause we know You want us to give thanks in everything...and we give thanks that she's okay, too."
He prayed with childlike faith, and a mature perspective. He understood how God wants us to respond in the best and worst of times. Sometimes it takes a 's faith in God to remind us, doesn't it?
Prayer: That you would learn to fear God and that He would be your reference point in the best and worst of times.
Discuss: For what tribulations can you thank God today?
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A Clash of Wills Part One
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Posted:Feb 8, 2010 7:56 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2596 Views
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A Clash of Wills (Part One) by Barbara Rainey Proverbs 16:9
The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Cinderella-everyone knows her story. On the night of the grand ball, Cinderella was cruelly prevented from attending by two selfish stepsisters. Her heart was crushed in disappointment. She ran to the garden in tears to be alone, only to find her fairy godmother. The wave of a wand and a few magic words transformed Cinderella into a most beautiful princess. She was whisked off to a ball where she met Prince Charming. Of course, it was love at first sight and they lived happily ever after.
Happily ever after is the stuff of which fairy tales are made. Though we wish it were so at times, life is not a fairy tale. God is not a fairy godmother with a magic wand waiting to wish our troubles away. He has plans and purposes far higher than fairy magic. The problem for me, and for other Christians as well, is the clash between two purposes and wills: God's and mine. Many times they are not the same.
In 1984, I experienced a conflict between God's will and plan and my own. We were nearing the end of an unusually busy spring, one that also contained more than its share of pressure. During those months, I was feeling particularly stretched with our five . They were normal, active, curious with five different personalities and five different sets of needs and problems. It was what I'd always wanted, and I was grateful to the Lord for each of these five treasures. Still, I was looking forward to graduating from nursery duty.
Then I learned I was pregnant again. I was completely caught off guard by the news. Didn't God know I had all I could handle with five ? Didn't He know I didn't want to go through all this again? I was sick physically, drained mentally, and tired just thinking about six .
Prayer: Think through the problems you face right now, and ask God to guide your steps and keep you joyful in the process.
Discuss: When was the last time you faced a circumstance where your will clashed with God's? Is there a clash today?
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Adopted by God
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Posted:Feb 5, 2010 12:13 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2025 5:26 am 2505 Views
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Adopted by God Ephesians 1:4,5
Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ.
I always knew, from this verse in Ephesians, that we have been "adopted" by God. We did not know Him or seek Him, but He reached down and chose us to be part of His family. But the meaning of that passage never hit home until 1983, when God gave us our fifth .
Barbara and I were in New York City, about to speak at a marriage conference. We received a message to call a friend back in Little Rock, and when we saw the name we looked at each other. It was the name of an obstetrician.
For three years we had prayed about the possibility of adopting a , and we had mentioned it to this doctor. So when we called him he said, "We've got a baby for you."
We said, "You what?"
"We have a teenage girl who is having a baby right now and she told us some time ago, when she first came in, that she wanted the baby raised in a good Christian home. We thought that yours might be a likely one."
Soon we found ourselves conducting a family conference by speakerphone with our four . "Hey , how would you all like to have another baby?" The unanimous cheer went up, "Yeah!" They did not even need to vote on it.
So we returned home to a newly enlarged family. The little girl's name was Deborah. I believe she has been placed divinely in our home. We adopted her-making her our own. And I believe God feels the same way about you and me. We are His. We have been redeemed and placed in the family and given an inheritance. We are in God's family! We are His adopted sons and daughters.
Prayer: Thank God for causing you to be holy and blameless before Him because of His , Jesus Christ.
Discuss: What type of life did God take you from when He "adopted" you? Describe the changes in your life since you've been adopted into His family.
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