Managing a Monster
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Posted:Jul 29, 2009 8:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10694 Views
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Managing a Monster 1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
If, as the previous devotion maintained, much of what comes into our homes via television does not contribute to a sound Christian home, then what can be done to manage this monster?Why not start a "Just Say No" campaign against TV? I am not advocating total abstinence, although for some families that may be a good solution. But I suggest taking TV in moderation-say, six to eight hours a week.
Here are some tips we try to follow in our family: Instruct the to ask you for permission to watch TV. Don't let them treat it as a "given," but a privilege. Don't let them watch it randomly, but determine what you want them to watch. Make TV off-limits in at least these two rooms: The room where you eat your meals, and your bedroom. Agree on the number of hours and the programs that can be watched during the week and on weekends. Let the choose from a list you approve. Don't let your watch a video movie unless you know what's in it. Read the reviews of movies when they first appear at the theater to get clues about the level of bad language, sex and violence. Don't just "watch TV"; watch specific programs for a specific purpose. Once, when I had plopped down to watch nothing in particular Barbara said, "There's nothing on worth watching. There are other things more valuable to do, like spending time with me!" And she was right.
Yes, all this will take a great deal of self-control and discipline. But think of how "the tube" undermines the family, and you will realize it will be worth it. In the early '80s, a Michigan State University study reported that one-third of four- and five-year-olds in the U.S. would give up their relationships with their dads in favor of TV.
That's scary evidence of television's power. I believe God wants us to rule over this twenty-first-century monster.
Prayer:
That God's Spirit will enable each family member to identify and resist unhealthy influences.
Discuss: Do you have rules about watching TV in your home? If not, talk about implementing some of the tips discussed above.
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The Number One Threat to Families
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Posted:Jul 28, 2009 11:48 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10789 Views
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The Number One Threat to Families Psalm 101:3
I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not fasten its grip on me.
We once retained a research firm to ask our FamilyLife Conference guests what societal problem posed the greatest threat to their families. Was it alcohol and drug addiction? Materialism? Pornography? The breakup of families?Nearly 36 percent answered: television.
I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, surveys show that the average American adult watches TV a whopping 30 hours a week. And preschoolers are watching the "plug-in drug" an average of 27 hours per week. I guess that's what we should expect from a society that boasts of more homes with TVs (98 percent) than those with indoor toilets (97 percent).
I believe Christian families rightly consider TV to be a threat to the family for three primary reasons.
First, TV replaces real relationships. Communication ceases when the TV is turned on. Who can compete with such a vast menu of images, $500,000 commercials and programs that parade slinky, sexy bodies in front of us? I agree with the great theologian Erma Bombeck, who said that if a woman has a husband who watches three consecutive TV football games on a given Saturday, she should have him declared legally dead and have his estate probated!
Second, TV often undermines the commitments and moral integrity that bind a family together. "Leave It to Beaver" has been replaced with adultery, premarital sex and perverted behavior.
Third, TV robs families of both quality and quantity time. After attending a FamilyLife Marriage Conference, one dad went home, unplugged the TV and lugged it to the garage. In its place he hung a picture of the family. Their five-year-old sat down on the floor, stared at the portrait, looked up at his dad and asked, "Does this mean we're going to become a family now?"
Prayer:
Ask God for discernment. Then make some choices that reflect your Christian beliefs.
Discuss: How many hours of television (or movies on video) do you think you watch each week? Your spouse? Your ? Keep track of your viewing habits for seven days, then evaluate television's grip on you and your most important relationships.
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Behold His Glory
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Posted:Jul 27, 2009 12:27 pm
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10648 Views
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Behold His Glory John 14:2
In My Father's house are many dwelling places...for I go to prepare a place for you.
One of the greatest ways to learn about God is to spend some time looking at His creation. His power, His majesty, His beauty and His incredible creativity all come out in the world He made.But that's not all you'll learn. I'll never forget going up on a ski lift with a friend. On our left was a range of 13,000-foot peaks. To our right was a beautiful lake surrounded by a host of mountains on that frosty February morning.
I shook my head and said, "Isn't it amazing to see what God made?" And my friend replied, "Yeah, and God made this in a day. And 2,000 years ago Christ said He would be preparing a place for us. And He's been gone 2,000 years preparing that place for us. Heaven is going to be a magnificent place!"
As a I used to think heaven would be boring. What would I do for all eternity-sit around and strum a harp? But my friend's statement helped me realize that, although I have no idea what heaven will be like, it will be much, much, much greater than I can even imagine.
Dr. Charles Ryrie once said, "God must be highly puzzled at us as humans to reach down out of heaven to redeem us, to take us to heaven and have us fight against dying so hard." Isn't that interesting? Because if you went to the doctor this afternoon and learned you had an incurable form of cancer, you wouldn't be smiling initially. You would be depressed, fearful, worried about your family and loved ones.
But we're all going to die eventually, and I think God has given us a beautiful world so that we can behold just a glimpse of what is in store for us. I love what one person said: "Nature is God's Braille for a blind humanity." Nature is God's way to help us see Him even though we don't have the eyes to really behold His glory.
Prayer:
Take an after-dinner drive to a beautiful park or overlook. Worship the God of all creation who died for you!
Discuss: Take a walk in the woods or in the country and take some time to behold God's creation. What do you learn about His character-and about heaven-through what you see?
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The People on God's Heart
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Posted:Jul 24, 2009 8:49 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10742 Views
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The People on God's Heart James 1:27
This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress.
Throughout the Scriptures, God demonstrates a special compassion for the poor, the needy, the helpless. He often mentions our need to care for the widow and the orphan because He knew the types of hardship families face without husbands and fathers.I suppose that, if you narrowly define "widow," you would not include divorced mothers. But if you look at our society today and the terrible hardships faced by most single moms, scratching out a living while trying to raise their , you can't help but feel a special compassion. So when I pray about widows and orphans, I think about divorce and how it creates widows and orphans-people who have to be close to God's heart.
But we can do more. We can pray for families who have not yet been torn apart by divorce. Sometimes I walk downstairs in the FamilyLife office and look at a board where we keep track of registrations for each of our FamilyLife Marriage Conferences. I praise God for those who have come, and I pray for those who are deciding whether to attend. I know these numbers represent families who will be strengthened and healed-husbands who will stay committed, wives and who will not become widows and orphans.
One couple wrote on their conference evaluation just three words: "Saved our marriage." Only God knows the impact of these three words.
When I was recently speaking at one of our conferences in Orlando, a couple came up to me to say this was the eleventh time they had attended! I kidded them and asked, "You mean you still haven't got it right yet?" But they were excited because of how the conference has kept them together, and now they were bringing other couples with them each year.
Each day, all around you, a fierce battle goes on in the marriages of your friends, your neighbors and your fellow church members. These people are on God's heart. Are they on your heart as well?
Prayer:
Ask God to give these couples the strength and commitment to build solid families according to His blueprints.
Discuss: Who are some couples you know who need help in their marriages? Make a list.
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No Fault, No Responsibility
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Posted:Jul 22, 2009 1:12 pm
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2009 8:48 am 10838 Views
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No Fault, No Responsibility James 5:16 (KJV)
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.
Hundreds of thousands of marriages are dissolved each year in the courtrooms of our land under relatively recent laws called "no-fault divorce." This is the thoroughly modern and practical way for two people to wash their hands of a marriage and terminate all responsibility to one another. It's cleaner, faster and easier than in the old days, when the courts attempted to establish responsibility for the breakup of the marriage. Now, if no one is at fault, no one can be blamed. If neither party was wrong or wronged and both want out of the relationship, then shouldn't two people be allowed to dissolve their relationship?
It all sounds perfectly rational, but it should raise questions for Christians. Marriage was established by God for our good and His glory. Marriage occurs because of a covenant between a man, a woman and God. If (in man's mind) accountability is removed, then marriage vows are reduced to meaningless words. Commitments become conditional, temporal bargains.
Furthermore, if it's no one's fault that the marriage failed, are we also saying it is no one's responsibility to make the marriage work? The permanence of my marriage vows to Barbara motivates me to be responsible for the health of our relationship. It's for life. No excuses.
A society that allows for no-fault divorce cannot escape the long-term consequences of its no-responsibility marriages. Most people will say they "believe in marriage." The facts suggest that our society believes in marriage like Zsa Zsa Gabor, who said, when she married and divorced for the eighth time, "I really do believe in marriage."
Someone is "at fault" here. The cure for our nation's divorce epidemic is a vaccine of biblical accountability and godly responsibility to keep our covenants, vows and commitments.
Prayer:
That you can model the kind of commitment and responsibility that will communicate to your the permanence of marriage and its vows.
Discuss: Tell your spouse today that you'd marry her or him all over again. Reaffirm your love and commitment by telling him or her: It's still 'til death do us part!
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Nobody's Fault
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Posted:Jul 21, 2009 3:47 pm
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2009 1:05 pm 10796 Views
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Nobody's Fault Genesis 3:12
And the man said, "The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate."
Although we technically have six in our family, occasionally we are visited by a seventh called "Nobody." Nobody spills apple juice, jelly and peanut butter on the floor and then walks off and leaves it-presumably to let it grow. Nobody leaves doors wide open during the fiercest heat wave in the summer and when the wintry winds are whistling.The interesting thing about Nobody is that he never gets credit for beds made and rooms that are picked up. But when games, toys and dishes are strewn all over the living room floor, Nobody gets the blame, receiving full accusations by six . "Nobody did it." Barbara and I would probably discipline Nobody if we could ever catch him.
In Genesis, Adam tries to avoid his responsibility by blaming Eve for eating from the forbidden tree. In fact, He even seems to insinuate that perhaps God is at fault for giving him Eve as a mate!
Adam and our invisible , Nobody, are reflections of the irresponsibility of people in our society. They want to clarify their "rights," but when accountability and responsibility come knocking, they flee for the back door.
The of this culture aren't being told there are consequences for their wrong choices. Undoubtedly some of them eventually find themselves in a jail cell, puzzled that we still have some laws that do hold us accountable for our actions.
Let me suggest that you and your mate model a different message. When you have a conflict, quarrel or disagreement, take responsibility for resolving it. When you make a mistake, admit it-even if it isn't all your fault. Instead of finding a flaw in your spouse's argument and blaming him or her, take responsibility and say you're sorry. I am confident that you don't want to be married to "Nobody."
Prayer:
Ask God to help you resist the tendency to blame others, and be responsible and accountable to God and your mate for your life.
Discuss: Does anyone called "Nobody" live at your home? How have you noticed a tendency, in your own life, to deny you're at fault? How can you encourage your to take responsibility for their own actions?
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The Insult-for Insult Club
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Posted:Jul 20, 2009 12:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10927 Views
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The Insult-for-Insult Club 1 Peter 3:8,9
To sum up, let all be harmonious...and humble in spirit, not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.
You may have heard of the husband who asked his wife, "Why did God make you so beautiful but so dumb?"She answered, "He made me beautiful so you would marry me, and dumb so that I could love you!"
While the insult-for-insult relationship may be funny on paper, it is deadly for a relationship. How much better to be like Linda who was married to Lou, a fourth-year seminary student. They had four , and you can imagine their hectic schedules.
They decided to take a break and enjoy a pleasant, romantic evening. Lou was due home at 6:00 P.M. and Linda got all the ready for bed, picked up the baby-sitter and at 6:30 P.M. was beautifully dressed and waiting. But Lou, at the seminary library, became so involved in studying Hebrew that he forgot the time and arrived home at 8:45 P.M. By that time Linda had taken the baby-sitter home.
Lou offered nothing more than a lame "I'm sorry." As they prepared for bed, Linda began to pour out her heart, telling Lou how she had been looking forward to some time together. Then she looked over and saw Lou...fast asleep.
How did Linda respond? This was a godly woman who knew how to live according to Scripture. The next morning she arose early, put on a favorite negligee and made breakfast, which she served him in bed. Then, to cap it off, she initiated making love!
How did Lou react to Linda's effort to pay back insult with blessing? For the next month, he couldn't do enough to serve her. Her actions had heaped coals of fire on his head and he realized how wrong he had been. It was something of a turning point toward intimacy in their marriage.
Prayer:
That the Spirit of Jesus Christ, who endured such unjust suffering, will help you overcome the natural spirit to avenge yourself and to give insult for insult in your marriage and family.
Discuss: Whose rights and feelings are you focusing on when you feel it necessary to insult someone? What is usually gained by an insult?
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Narcissism and Selfishness Philippians 2:4
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Posted:Jul 15, 2009 9:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10585 Views
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Narcissism and Selfishness Philippians 2:4
Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Obviously, Paul couldn't have been reading my heart early in my marriage, but it certainly sounds like it. I wanted to look to my own interests, and to do my own thing.
On Saturdays I would get Cokes and chips, crawl into my chair and settle down to watch hours of baseball, football, tennis and golf. Unfortunately, these actions produced an unhappy wife who had other ideas for how to spend the weekend!
According to Greek legend, Narcissus was enamored with his reflection in a still, clear pool. He sat admiring himself so long that he became rooted to the spot, giving his name to the bright yellow flowers of springtime.
Like the Greek figure Narcissus, we Americans have by and large become so mesmerized by our own reflections, our own needs and interests, that we are indifferent to the needs of others. We no longer know much about self-sacrifice and self-denial. As Christopher Lasch wrote in his book, The Culture of Narcissism, many people believe that "satisfaction depends on taking what you want instead of waiting for what is rightfully yours to receive."
Lasch also wrote that the very institutions that might have been thought to counter selfishness-the school, the church and the family-have let us down. He adds, "To live for the moment is the prevailing passion-to live for yourself, not for your predecessors or posterity."
The authors of our commercials know us very well. They shout: We do it all for you....Don't you really deserve a Buick?...You deserve the best today at McDonald's....L'Oreal: because you're worth it!
I once met a pastor who frequented Christian bookstores and libraries for the sole purpose of avoiding his wife. And I have counseled women who spend countless hours shopping, not for their families but to gratify themselves.
Is Narcissus, or the selfless Christ the ideal in your family?
Prayer:
That the selflessness of Christ will characterize you and your family.
Discuss: What are your spouse's top three needs right now? What could you do to meet them? What happens in your marriage when one of you becomes too preoccupied with your own desires? Give some specific examples.
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John 15:10
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Posted:Jul 14, 2009 11:59 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10461 Views
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John 15:10
(Jesus said) "If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love."
Thoughts on today's verse
Love is not just a feeling, but it is action. For us as believers, the action that most shows our love for Jesus is for us to be obedient to his words and his example.
Prayer:
Father, thank you for showing your love in Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for showing us how to love our Father by being obedient to his will and word. Today I pledge to conciously try to live in obedience to your will. Please receive my actions, words, and thoughts today as an offering of praise to you. In Jesus name. Amen.
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The Outcome of Discouragement
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Posted:Jul 13, 2009 8:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2026 6:28 am 10416 Views
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The Outcome of Discouragement
2 Corinthians 7:9-10
As we saw yesterday, discouragement is a common problem. It may start with a divided mind but can easily turn into blaming others and wallowing in anger. Sadly, its effects don't stop there.
For one thing, if you regard the one who disappointed you as the cause of all your troubles, you might distance yourself or even end the relationship. On top of that, when disappointments are allowed to build up without resolution, a deep loss of self-worth could result. This obviously could deliver a critical blow to your ministry and interactions with others, since no one likes being around critical, self-hating individuals.
As these pressures develop, there will be obvious effects in your personal life. If you allow your mind to be twisted by the deceptions of discouragement, your words and actions will surely follow.
A dangerous drift in your spiritual walk is the ultimate consequence of discouragement. God will seem distant, uncaring, or perhaps even absent, because you've built such high walls around yourself. Things that were once cornerstones in your life--like worship, Bible study, and prayer--easily fall by the wayside. Before long, you will be surrounded only by your disappointments and negativity, unable to see anything of positive value at all.
Discouragement can eat away at a believer's relationships and productivity. Don't allow disappointments to build up and take such a toll on your life. Psalm 40:2 is a wonderful reminder that the Lord can lift you out of the "miry clay" and "set [your] feet upon a rock making [your] footsteps firm."
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