If you are MARRIED, SAY SO
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Posted:Feb 8, 2006 4:15 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2006 3:59 pm 1216 Views
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I don't get it folks. Why do we even have the option on this site for choosing, under the marital status column, "prefer not to say." We are a Christian site primarily intended for Christian singles to build relationships in hopes of finding a mate. Yes, we also support finding others who can be friends and supports to us in our walk of faith and ministry. It is not wrong for married people to make use of the site for the same building of friendships and support.
On the other hand, it is WRONG folks, for a married person to mislead a single person by "wanting to get to know" you. It is WRONG folks, for a married person to flirt with a single person (or other married person for that matter). Period. No ifs, ands, buts, ors, or fors about it!
So MARRIED PEOPLE....LISTEN UP. Shame on you for not choosing to disclose that you are MARRIED. I don't care if you are "unhappily married," as one man has disclosed to me upon my suspicion and request. (However, I must say that I am grateful for the honesty so early in conversation, truly.) If you are unhappily married, God bless you and your spouse. I will pray for you. But DON'T FLIRT WITH ME.
Now that this is off my chest. I do pray for all our married friends on this site. I pray for their marriages to be HEALED (not separated). I pray for those married folks who have LIED about their marital status to STAND BEFORE GOD and ask for His forgiveness. Either change your status on this site or remove your profile! If you have chosen to say "prefer not to say," I must respectfully ask you to change it to married. BE HONEST WITH US, not MISLEADING.
NOW.....BIGCHURCH MANAGEMENT....I respectfully ask that you REMOVE THE OPTION OF "PREFER NOT TO SAY."
One broken hearted woman.
joyfulwoman2
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CALLING ALL HOOSIERS, WILDCATS AND BENGALS!
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Posted:Jan 29, 2006 11:48 am
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2006 11:45 am 1059 Views
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OK....now that I have your attention, I am not talking about sports. Sorry. Didn't mean to mislead you. But hang in there; there is a connection.
It is so hard to really get to know one online. I was hoping we could have a singles party for folks from southeast Indiana, southwest Ohio, and northern Kentucky. I will offer my church or find a more centrally located church of my denomination to host the event. It could be a pot luck family night. Bring your . Invite the ones you have been chatting with who you'd like to meet in person in a safe place. Bring your favorite food, snacks, drinks (non-alcoholic, please...it's a church after all) and games and let's set aside a block of about 3-4 hours to socialize, have fun, and really get to know one another without necessarily the attachment of being "interested" in one person. On the other hand, those of you who are courting, you should come and share your story! 
If you are interested in doing this, just send me a smiley or email. I'll put you on the list, poll for a good date and city that works for the majority, and make all the arrangements! How about it?
If you don't live near my area...you are still welcome. It's up to you as to how far is too far to travel for such an event. There are lots and lots of affordable motels and hotels (and expensive ones, for that matter) in the greater Cincinnati area, and plenty of other things to do if you want to stay over and make a vacation of it!
Have a great day.
joyfulwoman2
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Faith Without Love==Smoke & Mirrors
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Posted:Jan 29, 2006 11:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2006 11:45 am 1077 Views
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Mark 1:21-28 teaches us Jesus' response to an apparent statement of faith by demonic spirits living in a man. They said, 24"What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are–the Holy One of God!" And His response was, 25"Be quiet!" said Jesus sternly. "Come out of him!" 26The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek.
The demons expressed belief....but with fear, not love. Jesus responded with love...for the man beset by the evil presence.
This was the lectionary reading for my sermon this morning (1-29-06). As I studied this week and prepared my sermon--God lead me to contemplate this scenario in relationship to those who come on sites like Big Church for the sole purpose of expressing words of faith while luring women and men into relationship in order to "scam" them. Over Christmas, I was scammed for $600. Now before you judge....this man took his time getting to know me and planned a trip to come see me....or so he said. He wooed me over months. Before I go on with what I feel God is moving me to share spiritually about this, let me add some practical comments for those who have worries they are being wooed by scammers.
NOW I know about scammers. Then I did not. As you can imagine, I have had a roller coaster ride of emotions about this heart breaking experience. I've become aware of sites like Romance Scammers dot com and have made myself aware of the tactics, language issues, etc. to watch for. And I can tell you I am hit on by such men on the average of three a week, sometimes more. I now know that my first words to any man who lives more than 50 miles from me is going to be....how can we prove you are whosay you are to me? I can tell you this statement has chased each and every one of my would be scammers away. Don't let them make you feel guilty about protecting yourself!
Now...on to the spiritual growth. Last Sunday, a gentleman walked into my congregation just before the sermon and interrupted the service. He was bedraggled and looking for a special offering to help him in his unfortunate circumstances which he explained at length. It was a shocking moment. Given my recent scamming experience, I have to admit my first thought was that he was a scammer. I hear one of my congregants say in a whisper near me "this is a scammer." Another on the other side of me said, "but we are Christians."
In that moment, I knew that we must respond, even if we are being taken advantage of. We must respond in good faith and with loving hearts and let the consequences be in God's hands. So this week, I used this passage to illustrate that thought. God has led me to see that at least in some circumstances, we must act in good faith. Scripture teaches us to be innocent yet wise as serpents. Know their ways, in other words, but don't be like them.
I have pondered the difference between the situation in my church and the situation of our online scammers. The man in the church may (or may not) have taken advantage of our vulnerability by coming into our house of worship at a critical moment. He stood physically before us, hat literally in hand, asking for help. That took a lot of courage and humility if his story was real. It was right to respond with Christian charity, with love. We prayed with him then...and prayed for him afterwards.
However, it is me that is entering the "internet" domain seeking in good conscience a mate for my life and my ministry. I have no physical person standing before me that I may judge their character somewhat from their personal appearance and demeanor. And so, I believe it is right for me (and you too) to demand proof of identity before going very far with investing our emotions in a person. It's great to be online friends...but that cannot be a substitute for good sense in making ourselves personally vulnerable.
I share this experience with you, brothers and sisters, because I know many of you have dealt with scammers and others need to be warned of their prevelance on all Christian singles sites! I share this with you who are scammers as fair warning. God knows you personally. He will hold you accountable one day. But God also loves you dearly and longs for you to give up such ways and come to Him in repentance and begin a new life with Christ. My deepest prayer and longing is that all scammers will read these words and know that they are loved by God and that God will indeed forgive them anything. But evidence that you have accepted that love must be that you truly repent, turn away from, your sin and begin a new and changed life with Christ. You do not need to earn your salvation, but your life should demonstrate the proof of it in changed behavior and new priorities!
Blessings in Christ to you all.
Joyfulwoman2
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Physique vs Heart
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Posted:Jan 27, 2006 6:30 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:29 pm 1269 Views
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I have recently had a conversation with a fellow member of this site who is heart broken that her weight makes men run away. As an overweight woman myself, it has made me angry as well as contemplative to realize physique is often the first thing both men and women look at when deciding to get to know someone who is otherwise very compatible! Setting the anger aside, in God's peace, the contemplative side wants to speak. In sharing what I look for, perhaps it will help you to think more clearly about what you are looking for...be honest with yourself, and be willing to consider that maybe what you are looking for is not what God wants you to look for. Read on my brothers and sisters in Christ. Open your heart to the Lord and ask the Spirit to lead you to know what errors (or not) you have in your personal search of profiles.
Yes...I know looks are an issue to some degree, even for me. I know that my eye is attracted more to men who are somewhat substantial in size (taller than me, at least average and larger) and men with somewhat square faces catch my eye first. I don't know why...I have just noticed that about myself.
However, my first attention goes to their profile. I want to know that they consider their relationship with God to be very important if not all important. I want to know that church is a place of worship for them as well as a place to fellowship and be accountable to others so that their outreach to non-Christians can be stronger. I want to know that they would want to be in Bible study and prayer with their wife...to take the lead in that with her, or at least participate willingly as an equal.
I know that, having a good bit of higher education, I will not be suitable with someone who has none at all. They would be as unhappy as I would be in the end. We would have little in common to excite our intellects in discussion unless that person were very well read and studied a good bit on their own. I have a secular masters degree as well as 70+ hours of seminary and at one time worked on a PhD to teach college before being turned from that path to ministry. So I feel certain someone without any higher education would be intimidated or feel somehow enferior (even though they shouldn't)--and that would effect marriage.
Beyond that, I look for personal interests and activities. I am attracted to those who love the outdoors. While I am now limited physically (can't walk long distances...which is one reason why I've gained so much weight) because of two falls and a bicycle accident, I am still interested in being outdoors, camping again, doing nature photography again, etc. I want someone with patience for my disability but willingness to help me get back out there using whatever else will help me (4-wheeler, motorized chair, snowmobile) etc. I would not be happy with someone who does not love the outdoors.
I also would not be happy with someone who did not like to travel and explore our nation, even our world. I don't have a lot of money...but that's why I am happy to camp again one day. So, the person who is satisfied living out there life in their own community without travel would not interest me long...no matter how attractive.
I am a pastor...so the person I look for has to have a strong sense of their own relationship with God and be willing to participate in my ministry or at least support me in my ministry emotionally and spiritually. It has to be someone who knows the value of being a confidential confidant. This is extremely important to me. They should be willing to go on short mission trips from time to time, having a heart to help others in need.
You see...there is so much more to me than just my appearance. I think I am reasonably good looking despite my weight. My weight is an issue for me, not for the person I hope will love me as I am. It is my burden, not theirs. In my mind, it should not be a barrier to attraction. If all else I say about myself is what a person is looking for...why shouldn't they pray that God lead them to know me better and lead them to a sincere and ardent physical attraction just as I am?
Do you see yourself anywhere in this? If you are not being as thoughtful about what you want, how can you ever truly find the right person. And, should you not set aside issues of appearance and attraction in the beginning and open yourself up to a good match to you. You might be surprised how very attracted, how very passionatly in love you might become at God's leading if you are willing to set that issue aside for the sake of a truly good match!
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Is the Risen Lord a literal history?
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Posted:Jan 22, 2006 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:29 pm 1154 Views
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Now before you jump on me for this question...hear me out. I believe in the literal resurrection of Christ as both history and fulfillment of OT prophecy. However, in seminary I found many who did not. It is called the "Process Theology" movement and comes to some degree from the "In Search of the Historical Jesus" movement.
I am asking for thoughts on this movement and how to address questions by parishioners and others who ask me as a pastor how to respond to those who challenge them on their historical beliefs of Christ in light of this movement.
Many of them think this is new and do not realize it has been around since the late 19th and early 20th century ... the SFTHJ movement, I mean. The literal resurrection has, of course, been challenged off and on since the resurrection!
Blessings to all. I just want to stimulate good conversation that helps us all speak with love to those who simply are struggling to know Christ as both Spirit and literal God-with-us.
Joyfulwoman2
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Glory Road & Narnia movies
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Posted:Jan 20, 2006 3:41 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:29 pm 1094 Views
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If you have not seen this movie...go. It is unbelievably good. I can't wait until it is out on video so I can use clips in sermons. It would be a great movie for a discussion starter for youth groups, especially in highly caucasian areas. Would love to hear what you think about this one, or the latest version of CS Lewis' "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe".
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