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Blogger education
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Posted:Nov 21, 2007 10:55 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2007 12:10 pm 1672 Views
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Have you ever been blogging around looking for a great post to read and maybe comment on? Of course you have that's what blogging is! How many times do you land on the Blog main page only to find 20 meaningless posts or like 15 one line posts from the same blogger and the one good post for the hour got shoved out of view, lost forever?
Ya know what I mean, the one post that got 3 views , 1 of which was a BC moderator, that should have gotten 300 views. But never got seen because the posts that get 2 views and never should have been posted to begin with are parked all over the main page.
Why??????? I have been blogging for a long time, just recently started here on BC. I was blogging a lot in secular forums but decided to close up shop out of frustration from the idiots spewing garbage out of their mouths and posting it to my blogs.
So blogging in BC has been much more fun and respectful for that matter. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is this:
I miss way too many good blog posts from those that I don't actively watch. They get sucked in spit out and lost in cyber blog traffic.
Be kind to your fellow bloggers, If you want folks to read your blog (or you wouldn't be blogging) write a good post! don't inundate us with 1 line blog posts 100 times a day.
Are ya just trying to be popular? Why not write one good post a day or maybe a few if you are so inclined and get read because you actually put some thought into it.
The best blogs on BC and there are a lot of them, actually write something worth reading! or at the very least put all of your one liners on a single post.
Thanks for your understanding and respect for the blogger unread, unless we get lucky enough to stumble on that great post. 
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I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand...last post
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Posted:Nov 21, 2007 8:13 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 6:46 pm 2376 Views
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General disclaimer: I you landed on this post thread for the first time, this is a series post, you may want to read them is succession as it may confuse you to read just this post and draw any conclusion. I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand
Remember the elf? Hermey, "I don't want to be an elf, I want to be a dentist"? I told Krystal_ca about an old girlfriend of mine that used to grab my ears and say that I looked just like him It is interesting the memory that women have, I don't even recall when I mentioned this to her and I am sure there was much more un-related conversation when I did. I was surprised when my brother gave me a box that had a "Hermey" toy in it with a note from Krystal_ca "sorry I missed you, hope all is well, Love ......"
Well, I spent the next 3 years with the girl from the bar. It was a disaster, I was working the oil rigs, drinking and not giving any thought to anything but myself. I still contacted Krystal_ca now and again. Turns out she was going to get married and adopt a little boy. She can't have anymore after the surgeries and cancer treatments. She always dreamed of having a family.
She often talked about how awesome it would be to have my two sons with us.
Anyway, 3 years ended in disaster, turns out the girl that I was living with was cheating on me while I was at work!  She managed enough guilt to tell me the day after Christmas 2005. She waited cause she knew I had bought her a bunch of cool stuff that she wouldn't have gotten otherwise.
It was about this time that Krystal_ca had called me and told me that she couldn't marry this guy because she didn't really love him. She also mentioned that the cancer had come back. And to top it off, the state wouldn't let her adopt because of her health. She was in pretty rough shape. I called her one night she was headed to the ER, an all to often occurrence, she said she felt like she was going to die. I jumped on a plane that night (OH MY, never book a last second flight! $1200 round trip). I got there and realized I didn't have my cell, which had her number in it, I didn't know which hospital. So I booked a hotel room and called every hospital in Riverside county. Finally I found her. I rushed over and the Doctors wouldn't let me see her cause I wasn't family!!!
Crushed, I stood outside the hospital thinking "this is it. I am going to loose the best thing that ever happened to me before I ever got a chance to just hold her hand". I humbly returned home and just waited for her to call.
Over the years in our relationship we always leaned on each other in times of need and joy. We were always able to pray with each other and just be a friend to share with. Despite the strong feelings of romance and dreams of being together, the fact still remained that we were best friends, always there for each other. That girl I was living with, she used to always accuse me of loving Krystal_ca more than her. She was right you know, I did, I was in love with Krystal_ca just needed to straiten up my act and do something about it.
Almost two years have passed now. I quit drinking through the help of God. I left the oilfield and am now in ministry and work for the family business. Still talk to Krystal_ca at least 3 days a week. She is in remission again, Praise Jesus. She can't walk right now and the last year has been rough health wise. She is under going back surgeries with a very bleak prognosis. My prayers for her, I can't ask God to make her well and send her to me. I know that would be selfish. I pray that she has peace and comfort in Him.
I you ask me tomorrow what do I give thanks for...well, I thank God I still have someone special in my life that loves me no matter how badly I have acted in my past before I gave God the helm. I am thankful for what He has blessed me with...
This is my best friend Krystal_ca beautiful as ever! 8 years now and I still have not held her hand...
iceteaplease
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I always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand...5
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Posted:Nov 20, 2007 2:26 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 6:43 pm 2077 Views
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General disclaimer: I you landed on this post thread for the first time, this is a series post, you may want to read them is succession as it may confuse you to read just this post and draw any conclusion. I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand
Okay, so here we are in the late summer of 2001, Krystal_ca although rebounding from being pushed aside from this man she had met, was pretty excited to start again with me.
Our relationship almost picked up right where it had left off. The only exception was the trust factor. I mean that she fell in love and I was obviously vulnerable to past relationships even though I wouldn't ever go back to my ex wife. This fact was still in the air.
We used to watch hockey games together (on the phone) and she called me every morning, she even sent me an Avalanche Jersey (way cool). Krystal_ca was also in remission. She was working full time and picking up modeling jobs here and there. Mostly "hand" shots. Weird huh? I guess you can model just about any part of your body these days, a niche thing. I had sent her a new robe and a bunch of flannel jammies from Victoria's Secret so she wouldn't get cold that winter. We were really getting close but the lack of physical contact was always an issue.
I guess we all remember the morning to wake up and drink your coffee only to turn on the news and see the twin towers burning. I was on the phone with her when I turned the TV on. Anyway, rolling through winter and spring, we had made plans to meet and we had also started talking about her moving out here.
April came and a new season for tourism was around the corner until the fires started. The picture posted is one I took from the parking lot of my hotel (if you click on it you should get a better view). I remember talking to her and she freaked out and called my parents because the National Guard had evacuated parts of our city and I chose to stay behind and make sure the hotel was secure. I was stranded there for 3 days. Anyway, the fire was started by a coal seem fire and it swepted through our little valley very fast. I remember standing on the roof of the hotel watching the fire blaze 40-60 foot high and making it's own weather. Pretty cool site. Why is all of this relevant you ask? Well, in the coming months we should have been really busy at the hotel. Governor Owens stupidly said in an interview that the whole state was on fire! He essentially blew my entire season with one stupid comment. The result from canceled business and no tourists? My job! I was fired for not bringing in the revenue forecasted a year prior.
Me not being in a solid walk with God, dropped into the cesspool of drinking and hanging out in bars feeling sorry for myself. I play pool and play in tournaments off and on. I was basically earning my living going from tourney to tourney about 5 days a week. I still talked with Krystal_ca but not everyday like before, I was too busy feeding my flesh and misery.
Well, we all know the old saying "if ya hang out in a barber shop, you'll eventually get a haircut". Too true, when we allow ourselves to be around one kind of sin, the other sins seem to creep up and get ya. I met a girl who was running the tournament at a pool hall. We talked and well over a couple of weeks jumped right on into bed.
I didn't tell Krystal_ca this but I did tell her not to fly out. I explained that I was having too many problems wasn't sure where I was going to live and such.
She came anyway! She came and I wasn't around. She visited my brothers house, she went to all the hotels in Colorado that I worked at. She basically visited all of the places I spoke about in our conversations. She even went to the pool hall looking for me. She left here only after her sister flew out and drove her home. She left me something though, at my brother house...(more to come)
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Another tale of deception!
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Posted:Nov 20, 2007 10:14 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2007 8:25 am 1432 Views
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I found this article today. I am posting it because it fits right in with an earlier post ICHABOD. The deception is running ramped, don't take your pastor's word for it, check em out!
AP report-
DECATUR, Ga. – The 80-year-old leader of a suburban Atlanta megachurch is at the center of a sex scandal of biblical dimensions: He slept with his brother's wife and fathered a by her.
Members of Archbishop Earl Paulk's family stood at the pulpit of the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit at Chapel Hill Harvester Church a few Sundays ago and revealed the secret exposed by a recent court-ordered paternity test.
In truth, this is not the first _ or even the second _ sex scandal to engulf Paulk and the independent, charismatic church. But this time, he could be in trouble with the law for lying under oath about the affair.
The living proof of that lie is 34-year-old D.E. Paulk, who for years was known publicly as Earl Paulk's nephew.
"I am so very sorry for the collateral damage it's caused our family and the families hurt by the removing of the veil that hid our humanity and our sinfulness," said D.E. Paulk, who received the mantle of head pastor a year and a half ago.
D.E. Paulk said he did not learn the secret of his parentage until the paternity test. "I was disappointed, and I was surprised," he said.
Earl Paulk, his brother, Don, and his sister-in-law, Clariece, did not return calls for comment.
A judge ordered the test at the request of the Cobb County district attorney's office and the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, which are investigating Earl Paulk for possible perjury and false-swearing charges stemming from a lawsuit.
The archbishop, his brother and the church are being sued by former church employee Mona Brewer, who says Earl Paulk manipulated her into an affair from 1989 to 2003 by telling her it was her only path to salvation. Earl Paulk admitted to the affair in front of the church last January.
In a 2006 deposition stemming from the lawsuit, the archbishop said under oath that the only woman he had ever had sex with outside of his marriage was Brewer. But the paternity test said otherwise.
So far no charges have been filed against Earl Paulk. District Attorney Pat Head and GBI spokesman John Bankhead would not comment.
The shocking results of the paternity test are speeding up a transformation already under way in the church after more than a decade of sex scandals and lawsuits involving the Paulks, D.E. Paulk said.
"It was a necessary evil to bring us back to a God-consciousness," said the younger Paulk, explaining that the church had become too personality-driven and prone to pastor worship.
The flashy megachurch began in 1960 with just a few dozen members in the Little Five Points neighborhood of Atlanta. Now, it is in the suburbs on a 100-acre expanse, a collection of buildings surrounding a neo-Gothic cathedral.
For years the church was at the forefront of many social movements _ admitting black members in the 1960s, ordaining women and opening its doors to gays.
At its peak in the early 1990s, it claimed about 10,000 members and 24 pastors and was a media powerhouse. By soliciting tithes of 10 percent from each member's income, the church was able to build a Bible college, two schools, a worldwide TV ministry and a $12 million sanctuary the size of a fortress.
Today, though, membership is down to about 1,500, the church has 18 pastors, most of them volunteers, and the Bible college and TV ministry have shuttered _ a downturn blamed largely on complaints about the alleged sexual transgressions of the elder Paulks.
In 1992, a church member claimed she was pressured into a sexual relationship with Don Paulk. Other women also claimed they had been coerced into sex with Earl Paulk and other members of the church's administration.
The church countered with a $24 million libel suit against seven former church members. The lawsuit was later dropped.
Jan Royston, who left the church in 1992, started an online support group for former members to discuss their crushed faith and hurt feelings.
"This is a cult. And you escape from a cult," she said. "We all escaped."
These days, Earl Paulk has a much-reduced role at the cathedral, giving 10-minute lectures as part of Sunday morning worship each week.
"My uncle is 100 percent guilty, but his accusers are guilty as well," D.E. Paulk said, declining to talk further about the lawsuits.
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I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand...4
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Posted:Nov 19, 2007 8:11 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 6:39 pm 1889 Views
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General disclaimer: I you landed on this post thread for the first time, this is a series post, you may want to read them is succession as it may confuse you to read just this post and draw any conclusion. I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand
I understand after being on BC for a few weeks now that a great number of us have been married at least once. With this in mind consider my mind set.
"and then it happened..." well what happened? I don't know for sure. Not the answer we were looking for huh? Okay, I had a business lunch one day with a group of execs from the company my wife worked for. She happened to be there as well. Please don't think this was by design because it wasn't at least by me. After lunch my wife (whom I hadn't seen for almost 6 months) asked me to meet her for a cocktail after work. When you have spent 5 years married to someone and even if you were separated there is still a connection, especially if the relationship wasn't entirely bad.
My wife and I failed because of two simple things:
1)God was not a priority
2)Neither of us had direction (meaning we didn't know what we really wanted in life)
We always loved each other and probably still do I don't know for sure because lately I haven't given it much thought. So here I am having a drink with the wife and we talked about us and things and such. Well, given the fact I had no problem feeding my flesh back then, we ended up at my suite in the hotel.
For several days I avoided contact with Krystal_ca I was in the proverbial slop of selfishness with a sprinkle of guilt. I felt like my wife and I may be able to reconcile and I had to tell Krystal_ca this. So I did, I called her and broke the news. I said that I was trying to do the right thing. Was it the right thing? Many Christians would say yes, we need to give God a chance to repair the marriage. True, if the marriage is equally yoked and not a selfish convenience to either party.
For you to understand what I mean I need to clarify one of the driving circumstances behind the separation to begin with. So, here ya go...
...For many years with my wife I made a good living. I met her at one of the hotels I was a manager of. Mostly 4 star properties around the country. We enjoyed many perks like country club memberships, free vacations, eating out for free, comped tickets for shows, ballets and plays. So she was used to these things. We lived in Florida on the river blah blah blah. After being in Minneapolis as an exec for a very large hotel corp. I don't want to disclose which one publicly but one of the top 4. I was burned out, tired of the back stabbing, the scape goats rats and well even the guests. So I told my wife "I want out". I don't think she really ever understood what I meant.
I resigned, we packed our stuff and moved to Colorado. She got a job with a big computer company and I went to work as a custom casework craftsmen. I always built furniture as a hobby and it seemed like I ought to do something I want instead of always do the status quo. She objected to my 10 dollar an hour job and well told me to leave.
Okay back to the main point. I called Krystal explained about how important is was for me to try and work this out. She was so understanding and not once mentioned "Please don't, I am in love with you" she gracefully stepped aside. I felt bad but at the same time I felt as if she really wanted me to try to save my marriage.
I spent a lot of time with my wife and learning of her new life as she put it. She gave me the new perspective bit too and I fell for it. Funny how she was all of a sudden interested in me when I was wearing a suit again and drawing a big salary.
Anyway I don't want to bore you with the details except for the fact that after 6 months of this finding out that she was all about the cash and glam, I signed the divorce papers. I also left that property and moved to a tiny town in the mountains here to run the sales dept. for a resort.
Guess who I called? Guess who answered with open arms. (more to come)
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I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand...3
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Posted:Nov 19, 2007 10:23 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 6:35 pm 2063 Views
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Obviously, I was swallowing my heart, but how is one to react to news like this. Especially some guy 700 miles away that has never seen you face to face. A budding new exciting romance that has taken a potentially fatal turn.
I knew there was a reason God had brought us together. I felt obligated to stick it out. I had genuine feelings for Krystal_ca, I can't say I was in love because I wasn't but I did have a connection.
In the weeks to come, I had made a decision to close the doors of my business for financial reasons. I guess God wanted me somewhere else. I moved back to Colorado Springs and re-joined the ranks of the cut-throat hotel exec life again.
I was placed in a precarious spot. I had moved back to where my wife was. We hadn't finished the divorce completely yet. It was weird and totally unplanned. The hotel company, that I was working with had decided to build a property near the same company in which my wife worked. I was to oversee the construction and open the property for business.
The primary market was for corporate guests, so at some point I was going to have to approach my wifes company. I did and it turned out that she was the primary contact. UUgghh! I had told Krystal_ca about this and she was very understanding, but I felt she had that sense. The sense that I have found most women have.
Krystal_ca was going through a very aggressive treatment plan chemo 3 days a week and radiation 3 days a week. Bless her heart, so strong, she worked a full time job all the way through this. At night after her treatments I would call her. She was so tired but couldn't sleep. I would talk her to sleep every night. Telling her to lie down roll over to her right side, close her eyes and I would just read to her or tell of one of my crazy adventures in the Navy. Basically what ever came to mind until she fell asleep.
Every morning she would call me (wake up call). We would drink coffee together and talk about current events and such and wish each other a blessed day before work. You don't realize it when it's happening, but the more you involve someone in your life and share the deepest thoughts and even the not so deepest thoughts, you tend to have a comfort. This is a comfort that brings a smile to your face through out your day when you see something that reminds you of that person.
We shared so much over the few months we knew each other. Laughter, sorrows, pain and well, everything! I always shared about me trying to be a father to my 's even though distance was always an issue. We talked about dreams. Dreams like having a bed and breakfast together somewhere in Wyoming. You know the white picket fence. We even decorated it. It was those talks and exciting plans for the future that helped both of us get through day to day trials.
She would always call me her cowboy. She would play that Shania song "cowboy take me away". She even sent me the cd. We would send each other little things here and there. I sent her a little Christmas ornament, a little fly fishing vest. She put it on her YA YA hat. her sisters and cousins would get together once a month and have a YA YA slumber party. I guess it's a girl thing. Anyway, her hat had things that represented her life on it as did the others.
I had no real idea how special our relationship had become. I guess when you are not exactly submitted to God and you still have worldly priorities you are blinded to some things. I was blinded in that I didn't realize she had fallen in love big time!
Kystal_ca was doing as well as can be expected, and I was doing what I had to day to day. And then it happened...(more to come)
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I have always wanted nothing more than to hold her hand...2
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Posted:Nov 18, 2007 12:22 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2009 6:32 pm 2006 Views
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So there we were, sitting in our rooms going on virtual dates and not really touching much on reality to this point. One day instead of writing about fantasy, I wrote of my day. I told Krystal_ca about me sitting in the bleachers at a softball field watching my sister play with her team. I spoke of how wonderful it was to see them all out there full of life and spirit. The batter hit the ball to the second basemen who threw it to the wrong spot and the batter wheeled his way to first base. The next batter was blind and had to be helped up to the plate but swung and hit the ball to the outfield, ran the bases as if she could see them clear as day. I spoke of how tears came to my eyes as my sister jumped up and down laughing and smiling. Krystal_ca was a bit puzzled at first she had not realized that my sister has downs syndrome.
It was then Krystal_ca cried and told me what was on her heart. She was living with a man that abused her. She felt trapped and scared. She mentioned praying for some kind of help. I did the scariest thing I have done in my life and told her that I was a born again Christian.
True I was born agian, but very backslidden and my heart was hard. To that date I hadn't spoke of my faith to anyone since high school.
So in the vast world of the internet when two people needed God the most, He revealed Himself in a chat room on yahoo. We began to speak of our churches and friends, turns out she attends the very same ministry in which I first found God as a . Coincidence? Anyway, over the course of a couple of weeks I had managed to convince her to leave this man and call her family to move her out. She did. She moved out with the help of her family while he was at work.
It was then I decided that I wanted to hear her voice. So instead of exchanging on the internet, to protect her privacy, I sent my business card and a calling card in the mail with my picture as well. Exchanging photos on the web wasn't as easy as it is now with avatars and profile pics.
She reciprocated and sent a picture, which I later found out was not her but her cousin. Didn't matter though. She called me and I immediately fell for her soft caressing voice. We talked for hours and hours. Everyday, I couldn't wait for her to get home from work so we could talk.
We talked and chatted, I found out that she was a school teacher and a part time model. Which posed the question to me, "hey you sent me a pic of some one else didn't you" she laughed and said yes. She didn't want to spoil are friendship over cosmetics.
It was probably 5-6 weeks since our first meeting in the chat room and a lot had happened. I was moving closer to my divorce, she was freed from her jailer and my business was going well.
We decided to meet in person, you know the normal chain of events for online romance. The chat, the email, then the phone then the all important face to face meeting. Plans were made ticket bought. 2 days before she was to fly out from California I received a phone call from her. She was crying and very upset. Turns out she had been getting sick a lot and was throwing up a lot. So much so that her family thought she had an eating disorder. They had done an intervention and she believed them and agreed to go into a treatment center.
She had called from there, and told me that after the smoke cleared she didn't think she had a disorder, she said she felt sick, really sick. Over the course of a few days and many phone calls I managed to convince her to see a different doctor. She did and she called me about a week later in tears. She most definitely did not have a disorder. She had cancer. (more to come)
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thank you and have a great Thanksgiving.
