Looking back????
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Posted:Oct 25, 2008 5:45 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2008 11:53 am 2045 Views
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This was a good day...
I didn't know their was 6 of us in this picture at my Dad's.
Was going over for a family dinner with the step-brothers and sister. Took Dustin to see his grandparents. It was so fun, My Dad told me for the first time I had done well!
He says now He's not ready to be a Great Grand-pa.
I told him, he all ready was Great!!
He has been the only family who has not turned his back to us.
Some times I wonder why my Mom never encouraged Family...
I do, She would tell me growing up love was thicker then blood. Well, now as a middle aged white woman, I know the blood is love.
Ware is family when it gets hard?
why do the expectations change when they don't agree?
What happened to unconditional love?
My house is full and empty!
Everything changes, as we grow older hopefully wiser.
Do you pray for the generational curse's to be broke?
I do!!
This the end as I know it, Yet a new start. I tell my "baby's" how proud I am of them and to be their Mom is a gift from God.
Now maybe my grandchild will grow to know family is important. Not who we chose Who God has given!
Related or not family should never sit in judgment of each other, easer said then done yes?
Still, I could use some help with my new place in life. Ware is my Mom?? Sitting ware God should be....
Hoping for peace and forgiveness to pick up the phone, don't know when but I need my Mom, You know?
Just as much as my needs me.
Proud to Mom to the he's and she. Very blessed to be grandma!
Even if the "they" don't agree!
May Gods Grace and Mercy reign in your lives. 
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There is no I in Jesus ther is US
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Posted:Oct 21, 2008 7:29 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2008 10:54 am 1396 Views
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When presented with who I am in Christ , it was like talking to a rock! I'm dying! I'm dying to self.Everything I have based my reactions and thought on is changing. However,The question is who is Christ in me rather then who I am in Christ.
The spirit said this...
He is in me, the One who forgives,
when I would rather hold a grudge.
He is in me, the One who sings and dances,
when I would rather sit and listen.
He is in me, is the One who gives when someone is in need,
when I would rather save and ignore.
He is in me, the One who is Strong and enduring,
when I would rather give up!
he is in me, the One who Loves,
when I would rather be angry.
He is in me, the One who is humble,
when I would rather be proud.
Most of all He is in me. All I hope to be!!!
Be Blessed Family.
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The way it use to be....
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Posted:Oct 19, 2008 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2008 5:29 am 1338 Views
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I heard today I have to step up to receive all God has for me.....
Dose that mean, who the we was, is gone?
Dose it have to be?
Can't the friendship and love still thrive and grow?
I know you can't put new wine in old wine shin, the bible says so.
Yet I wonder how do you change a friendship after so meany years?
Not talk so the pain can't touch you?
I wonder why we even bother sometimes to trust in others/not just men?
It seems that it is just a passing thing.
To much to bare....
So off I go to trust God for new wine in my skin.
If you find a friend, DON'T I repeat DON'T let it go.
As the seasons change they will be there for you.
Through the ups and downs, remember how deep and how wide Gods Love through us can show....
Say what you need to say, and remember once it is out there you can't take it back!
No Love lost.
this is how I use to look. would you still see me??
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finding
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Posted:Oct 18, 2008 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2008 7:31 pm 1942 Views
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As He carries me into a new place in life,
I am finding,
Patience
grace
Kindness.
I am seeing a new friend,
a new family,
Finding peace.
The Way I built my life is over.
Finding newness in breath,
Faith,
strength.
I am finding it is ok to,
receive,
give,
love,
accept,
respect.
When they were young I ran after them don't do that you'll get hurt.
As they grew it was think of ware you wish to be.
now they are grown I say are you ok?
Can I help?
These some some options,
Let me know what you decide.
I worry I may not have done right by them, Yet they are great humans who have Gods finger prints are all over them.
Standing Strong in Faith!!!
Love to you and your Family.
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A new life????
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Posted:Oct 11, 2008 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Nov 5, 2008 7:26 pm 1663 Views
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Well, been an interesting week. My home yet gone........
he is more in his friends I guess that is the way of it.
The news I got this week is going to change my whole life.
I would like to introduce, GRANDMA Jenn!!!!
yes family, my is expecting
It is incredible, The family here thinks I am so hard that I would put her out?
I don't think they know me at all. I was put out by my Mom. I made a vow so meany years ago that if it did go that way I would walk in the Love of Christ and help in all ways possible.
So, a wedding is coming and a baby
I am in a very weird way exited to hold and love the new life God has blessed us with. I was over come with such peace when I found out, I am amazed.
The He is holding close to my , so On we go. 
Keep all in prayer we need it.
She hurts, and is feeling a bit alone. She told me first and is all ways thanking me for loving and supporting her.
Of course I am, I love her no matter what life brings.
Grace and Peace my Friends
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crying
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Posted:Oct 9, 2008 7:54 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2008 9:35 pm 1720 Views
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Feeling the past,
It come and goes.
Knowing
I can never go back.
Hoping the future brings peace.
I have to many heart breaks to try anymore.
Sad as it sounds I can take no more!
Looking to the Lord for healing and love, I no longer seek a person to fill the need.
Still feeling the pain of love lost.
Is it really lost?
Dose it not affect who i am now?
Married to meany times.
Taking, try, to take the best of the past and in turn bring out the best of me now.
I cried most of my day yesterday.
Felt raw and open. No more I keep saying,
Yet the Lord say yes MUCH!
Why I ask He answers not.
Hope for the Love lost to return. Not the old, The new whole and full.
Needs met and Grace given.
No I did not say all.....
I did not trust the voice of God for a long time.
Now I know It is He who speak to me through me.
He never left I just stopped listening.
Forgive me.
I am not the same woman who joined so long ago.
I now know to let HIS life be mine.
Not sharing to seek approval,or sympathy!
Sharing to be honest!
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Wonder
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Posted:Oct 8, 2008 4:17 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2008 7:35 am 1289 Views
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Some time I wonder if stepping up to answer His call is to scary for those of us who have been hurt.?
Are you ready to invest into a life with someone?
To tolerate the little things?
Ware the shoes end up?
What they eat?
How they eat?
What they look like after all the day is removed?
Their smell?
How about how the are treated?
Do you understand everyone needs time alone, can you give that with out question?
Are you willing to stand with them when you get hit with the bad day?
Can you forgive and Love even if you get the punches?
I made a list of needs I have for a relationship.
First and foremost I NEED to feel safe, to trust I will not get physically hurt. I would like to be the person God has made with out the other seeing what I could be, as that is their expectation not God will.
Most Importantly God Has to be First!!!!
He is the reason we would be any way.
I am ready to invest!!!
How about You??
May Love and keep you. May your eye be opened to His will for you life. Thank you father for the Family you have provided at this beautiful church.
Protect my loved ones as they walk out your will in their lives. May your love so shine thou them to others as time is short.
In Jesus name
AMEN.
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Here is Pvt Hein
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Posted:Oct 6, 2008 7:44 am
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2008 8:11 am 1460 Views
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This was the best part of the trip. I got to put the blue cord on my sons arm. It means he is Army infantry!! He had to ware his class A's all day. I was honored to hang out with him in town all day. I got to see the changes in my . He is a man now, All new to me On the day of graduation, they put on a demonstration with the vehicles and guns he would be using during his service.He got a ribbon for joining during war time and a time of terrorism. It was a great day. He is truly a different person, yet the same. It is hard to have an adult . I can give advice yet he gets to choose. All new to me. I have had to apologize twice so far to him, as I over stepped my boundaries. he was ok with it, as I have told him I am still Mom.He says I know I love you Mom. He has been home 2 days and I have seen him for 2 hours. lol
Thats ok, he has been stuck for months with just men, he wont's to hang with his gal. He is giving me the whole day on Wednesday, we will hit the family and church that day. 
Thanks for all the prayers and support, he is going to Ft.Carson Colorado on the 15th of Oct. Please keep praying for all our men.
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venting..............
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Posted:Oct 5, 2008 1:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2024 11:49 pm 1139 Views
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I just spent 4 days on the road with the worst example of a relationship I could imagine. my Mom and her husband. I hope to God that I never end up with a life that requires eggshells to walk on. They have been together for 18 years, moved out to Mn all most 2 yrs ago. He never had to share my moms love with anyone, Now that he dose he bites to separate all who would be in her life,to love and support her. No forgiveness, for any one who he thinks crosses him. He holds the ultimate score card and to this day brings up my past. He reminds all who know me what he thinks I am. Not who I am now, but then, at 18 who knows anything? I didn't! A fun trip to see my graduate boot-camp was a stretching. Good thing God is in control, took allot of prayer to hold my wild tongue. I love my mom and out of respect for her I stay in line with her wishes. I don't get a lot of time with her because for his anger, her age and our schedules. I treasure all I do get. I truly dis like this man, even being around him makes me wont to stay alone! For real!! Just venting as it is now I am not allowed at their place AGAIN!!!
Good Lord help in walking out forgiveness and Patience with this man who is called my step-dad.
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I am Going
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Posted:Sep 23, 2008 6:53 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2008 7:57 am 1419 Views
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I am going to Georgia!!!!His team pulled for him, and back to the camp he went to pass his last 2 days of training!!!! I am a very proud to be a Mom, of a man in the US Armed Forces.HURAAA!!!!
He may go to war, lots have, he may stay in a peaceful country and not see any death. God knows....
When I heard his voice and the pride he has, I tell you there truly is nothing like it! Knowing your that God gave is walking out his calling Man I am stocked!!! I was jumping around the kitchen and yellin WOOHOO!!!!
Now I have never been south,in the US. And am looking forward to seeing the country. I hear it will be hot, I get to ware summer clothes in October!!!
God Bless,
Walk in Peace and Grace
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