Not feeling but healing!
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Posted:Mar 29, 2008 11:46 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2008 10:39 am 1325 Views
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I will blog my book today but to all my friends who are concerned for me I woke this morning with an assurance that I was going to be ok. Cannot really explain it but he definitely is bringing me closer. God allows painful things in our lives to bring us closer to him...that I am understanding. But in the midst of it he throws small positive things to let us know he cares for us..and that I am so thankful for. I have a ways to go but your prayers...please continue them, I will seek him first and all things will be added unto me.
Not sure how much I will talk the next bit but thank you all for caring for me.
Thank you God for waking me today, I know that there are areas that i need to clean up, that I need to focus on. I know that not feeling is a brokenness I have and you are mending that. Help me not to push my feelings but yet give them to you to deal with them. Thank you my lord and savior.
Amen
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My Continued Journey - Letting Go! #3
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Posted:Mar 28, 2008 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2008 10:40 am 1334 Views
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This chapter definitely speaks to me.We go about daily trying to make our live what we want them to be.When in reality we are struggling with real pain and real issues that we desperately try to ignore. I have been very open in my feelings..wanting to relate to someone else who may be going along this same road.
While trying to deal we get stuck, stuck trying to keep it all together while our world is falling apart.We cannot get unstuck on our own power and so despair sets in. We begin to feel guilty about our behavior, I begin to get angry with myself and others. I should be able to change i ought to be able to get our of this but we cant and our anger grows. Over time the anger turns into fear that things are never going to change and we realize our hurts and hangups are controlling us and eventually turns to depression. Cycle of Despair. How do we break this. Commitment Choice! Take the commitment to step across that line to God and give ALL of it to him. No more doing it myself.
If saved renew your commitment with God if not give your life to him. "Letting GO" consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ care and control.
Jesus right now is reaching out to us "Come to me all of you who are weary and overburdened and I will give you rest! Put on my yoke and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest fro your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" Jesus is saying come here give me the control and care of your life and watch what I do for you!
What is holding you back? Choices determine our circumstances and oooooo how God has shown me that recently! Our decisions determine our destiny!% things that keep us from commitment
pride guilt fear worry and doubt!
Pride - God doesn't ask you to be weak but he does ask you to lay down your pride and be meek!"No one is respected unless he is humble , arrogant people are on the way to ruin." "A self sufficient fool falls flat on his face"
Happy are the meek. The greek word for meek actually means strength under control. Meek agreeing to do what God wants done in your life!OK and here is me.....your pride might be hindering you. Perhaps you need a greater dose of pain. IF thats what is needed God may allow this to happen in order to finally get your attention!!! AMEN AMEN and AMEN.....and it hurts!
Guilt - You don't think God knows what you have done??? He does and forgives you!
Fear- Sometimes we are afraid to trust God.Sometimes we turn to him as the last resort! Sometimes we are afraid of losing control.Your controlled by hurts you cant forget. Your controlled by hangups!
God sets you free "I have swept away your sins like the morning mist, I have scattered your offenses like the clouds.Oh return to me for I have paid the price to set you free."
So what i is your fear. A relationship, ambition."How does a man benefit if he gains the whole world and loses his soul in the process?"
This third choice is giving it all up for God to take control ALL OF IT.
Worry - me me me Make the decision to let God worry about the problem solving
Doubt - I want to believe but my faith is to small???Mark Chapter 5 a guy named Jairus He wants his healed and Jesus says if you have faith she will be healed. He says I need help with my unbelief...Jesus healed the girl that was good enough!It is not the size of faith you have it is who or what you put it into.
Now we move forward.
Phase 1 Softening....All sorts of explosions are going off in your life YES AMEN I KNOW THIS!!You say Life is not working hasn't for a while now. Your hurts and angers habits are softening up your pride. I need help I need God!
Phase 2 Establishing a Beachhead
Turning it all over to God ALL OF IT. Lay it there. Trust God to take care of it.
He will not let you go!
Feel like you cant hold on any longer....not your job. "And you were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth the Gospel of your salvation. Having believed you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,"When you put your faith in Christ you are brought into fellowship with him your his!God will never let go of your hand. As a that crosses the street and the parent holds the 's hand...when they try to get lose you hold harder...so does Christ with us.
"God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you as you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns."
Now use Gods manual....the bible, As I am walking I will ask you..First
1. Step across the line. Accept Gods salvation
2. Accept Gods word as your standard for living
3. Accept Gods will as your propose.
4. Accept Gods power as your strength
Dear God I want your will your strength in my life. I have hurts issues that I cannot deal with on my own take them from me...you be in control I have tried far to long. Your love for me is stronger than any love I could seek. Take me I am yours.
That was my prayer what is yours.
Journal
How do you feel about the burden of trying to control al the people places or things in your life has been lifted from you?
I have been exhausted trying to do this !
What does " A Old life is gone a new life has begun mean to you?
What are you having a difficult time letting go of.
Me - my emotions!
I love you all in christ...until tomorrow!
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Broken Heart - cant feel!
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Posted:Mar 27, 2008 10:53 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2008 9:21 am 1500 Views
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OK well returned from a wonderful journey to Charlotte NC where I have totally learned ALOT!!!
First thank you to the three people who gave hours of their time to me on the phone on my 16 hour drive back...you listened to my tears, laughed and was there as my friend. You guys are wonderful!
What did I learn...well God put the book to the test for sure.
1. I am responsible for my own happiness not someone else. When you EXPECT you more than likely will be disappointed.
2. If you love someone sometimes you have to let go not an easy thing to do but if you truly love them you will let them go and if they are meant to be in your life God will return them. If not it is their happiness that matters.
3. I will depend totally on God and not on a person.
4. A broken heart sometimes cannot feel but God can heal it in time and he can take the pain away.
OK I am filling up with tears here.....tomorrow I will continue the blog of my book....This journey is continual and God is the Pilot I have lots to share with you and pray that someone is benefiting along with me.
In Christ
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Giving up control
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Posted:Mar 26, 2008 2:07 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2008 6:12 pm 1291 Views
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Wow not really sure where I am going, what I am doing however God is amazing. Opportunities that meet my needs however I am looking to see if the will of God is actually taking place in my life. This is hard guys......way hard. I am be quiet...looking to God in prayer and know that the answers will be revealed. All things, his time!!!
God help me to accept what I cannot change, help me to understand I am not you..I cannot control the feelings of others but you however are in full control.
Amen
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Open Doors
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Posted:Mar 25, 2008 3:36 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2008 1:52 pm 1332 Views
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I thank you for all who are going along my journey. I have had so many emails and questions on my continued journey. I am out of state and will return by Monday of next week. At that time I will continue to blog the book.
Please pray for me. God is simply amazing. He has opened doors of opportunity for me... and major decisions that I need to make. I have learned that I can feel again, which I thank God for...thought that was gone forever.
Your prayers are very important to me....
God lead me, guide me, let me see you in all that I do , say and live daily!
Amen
Sallie
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A delay in my journey....but walking on fire!!!
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Posted:Mar 15, 2008 12:51 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2024 5:32 pm 1211 Views
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I have read but been dealing with issues that God has allowed me to walk through....whew strangely enough , what I am reading is being put to the test...so I am asking for prayer.. I will blog the next chapter in a day or so....My walk is intensifying. When we ask God to show us...we must understand that the walk and experiences will be tough even frightening. What am I learning...to TOTALLY trust him!!
In Christ
Sallie
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Day 3 My journey This was a hard day!
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Posted:Mar 9, 2008 8:38 pm
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2008 12:52 am 1373 Views
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Whew this was a hard one but a good one.
E Earnestly believe that God exist, that i matter to him and that he has the power to help me recover.
First we need to discuss getting help. The Hope Choice . Sometimes we focus on our lawns and our home is floating away.
All of us have broken areas in our lives they bring us deep grief and pain. We carry this hurt and find our identity in it and become a victim. Escape into drugs alcohol or try to control all those around us with anger. We have tried to hide from this but now we must experience the hurt and sense of loss. Mourning. This is a whole new pain. "Happy are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."
You may grieve over your past and find yourself filled with regret dumb decisions I wish I wish. Facing this brings a sense of real loss. Now we must find Gods Comfort.
"To All who mourn in Israel he will give beauty for ashes joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory."
As I go through this journey I am seeing where my fathers absence is definite factor in my life.
Gods antidote for denial is pain.
C.S. Lewis said "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience but SHOUTS in our pain. Pain is a way of God letting you know something is seriously wrong and o how I have felt it.We try to cover our pain up in stead of dealing with it, food sex, many things.
Important to understand: God allows the pain but does not cause the pain. The pain comes from poor choices or poor choices of others.The Miracle is he uses it to wake us up from denial.
Sometimes we BLAME to deny pain. Blame is spelled
B _ LAME
God has the power to help us...let him.The 3 denial busters God uses are
1. Crisis
2. Confrontation
3 Catastrophe
These open us up for Gods power I admit I am Helpless I am powerless!
Getting help say I earnestly believe that God exist that I matter to him and the he has the power to help me recover.
God exist, I matter to him and he has the power to help me
"Anyone who comes to him must believe that he exist and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
We matter to him! Until we understand Gods True Character you cannot fully have his power. Many relate God the Father to their earthly father. he is not
"You have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis in my soul." " YOur father knows what you need before you ask" "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" God is with you in your pain BELIEVE IT
Did you know God keeps a record of every tear you shed??? "You know I am troubled You have kept a record of my tears." WOW He is with you aware of everything we go through. Job said "You keep close watch on all my paths"Also Know God is not shocked by your sins. He knew you were going to do it and knows why you did it!
God cares About our situation.How can God care about our lives and how messed up they are? His love is UNCONDITIONAL. It is not based on our performance. He sent his to die for us...there is no greater love than to lay your life for his friends. THAT is exactly what christ did.
Now he has the power to change us!
He raised Jesus from the dead!!! " I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe in him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead."
"What is impossible with men is possible with God."
We have to plug into gods power
!. Power
2. Love - Let go of the fear I will be hurt by others and love them - This is mine What is yours?
3. Self control - We cant have self control unless christ is in control of us!
How do I plug into Gods power
Believe and receive.
1, Believe god exist
2. Believe that you matter to him
3. Believe he has power to help us.
HELP!!!"It is God who is at work within you giving you the will and the power to achieve his purpose"
God has promised "When you go through deep waters and great trouble I will be with you. WHen you go through rivers of difficulty You will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned up. the flames will not consummate you.
Where are you hurting right now.. God is here now as you read this.. Turn this part over to him I am.
and then continue on my journey
Until tomorrow in Christ
Sallie
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Pt 2 My Journey
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Posted:Mar 8, 2008 9:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2008 10:37 am 1363 Views
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OK so Give control up to God.
Stop trying to control your pain by sports travel, jumping in and out of relationships, building a protective depression wall!!! I do know that one!
The real pain comes when we are alone and realize we cannot control out pain!
When we try to control everything we are afraid someone will find out who we really are. Adam Said" I was afraid because I was naked:so I hid." We dont allow closeness because of fear of what we carry inside. We fake it. We believe people will only like who we have made our image to be. Then we deal with Frustration. This is a symptom of a much deeper issue, a failure to aknowledge WE ARE NOT GOD. Fatigue man gets tiring pretending. David said" My strenght evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them." Denial requires enormous amount of energyIf your in constant fatigue always worn out ask yourself"What pain am I running from?"Then Failure "You will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins confess them and give them up then God will show mercy to you." as said in Proverbs!
Admit weaknesses become weak to get strong in Christ.
So now:
1. Admit that I am powerless to change my past
2. Admit I am powerless to control other people
3. Admit I am powerless to cope withmy harmful habits behaviors and actions
4. humble your heart
Now Pray to God
Journal you weakness those pains you want no one to see get it out from mind to fingertip...feel the pain and let God help you.
Then If you have a confidant share with them!
YOU are my sharing team I have opened myself up to you..... I pray it is of help to someone!
Until Day 3 In Christ
Sallie
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Day 2 My Journey Chapter 1 Part 1
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Posted:Mar 8, 2008 9:22 am
Last Updated:Mar 8, 2008 11:35 pm 1348 Views
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Admitting Need
Will need to do in more than one Blog!!!
Many of us refuse change until our pain exceeds our fear. Makes so much sense doesnt it have never thought of it in this way.We deny the pain until we are crushed and say OOO man I need help.
First we must look at the causes and consequences of our pain. Then admit the truth..we are spiritually poor or powerless to control our tendency to do wrong.
The cause of our problems is our nature!We choose to do things that are not good for us even when we know. We respond in hurtful ways when we are hurt
We attempt to fix our own problems. "There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death."We must not trust our human nature to lead us out of problems.
A great illustration was used in the book. When a TV repairman was asked what worst damage did you see on a TV he responded... one that they tried to fix themselves!
!. Our tendency to do wrong - our sin nature
2. Make poor choices? repeat mistakes?
I will continue this too much to be said!!!
In Christ Sallie
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Dealing with hangups, habits, and hurts - A journey come with me!
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Posted:Mar 7, 2008 3:52 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2008 6:10 pm 1579 Views
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Dealing with disappointments Hmmm and my habit and hangups. Through much prayer God led me to a book... one that helps ME to choose happiness. So as I go through this It tells me to pray, journal and speak after each chapter. I am going to be doing this for the next weeks in this blog. The book is "Life's Healing Choices" By John Baker.
The introduction says We choose whether we want to be happy or not. God says "I have seen how they acted, but I will heal them. I will lead them and help them, and I will comfort those who mourn, I offer peace to all, both near and far! I will heal my people."
God gives us 5 promises:
1, If you hurt , God says I will heal you,
2. If your confused God says I will lead you.
3. If you feel helpless God says I will help you
4. If you feel alone God says I will comfort you
5. If you feel anxious and afraid God says I will offer Peace to you..
So I have to learn to trust in his promises.. I welcome you to come on this journey with me. I expect God has a purpose for me blogging this and hope that someone else who is trying to heal will benefit!!
Next Step R for the R in Recovery
"Realizing I am not God."
"I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to dot th wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable!!
In christ until tomorrow!
Sallie
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