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god's servant's blog

this used to be god's garage

please read my intro before you write me
Posted:Nov 30, 2017 6:41 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 12:49 pm
22250 Views

Introduction

i am not really looking for a relationship, just a friend...nearer my own age and also in love with god.

i am retired and not very wealthy, but the lord has given me more than i need.

look, if you are 20 or more younger than me, and/or live more than 100 miles away...FORGET ABOUT IT. don't write. - thanks
0 Comments
my doctor's office fired me
Posted:Nov 25, 2017 6:06 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2017 8:40 pm
28018 Views
I have been going through an ordeal with the clinic I attend.

first they cut off my meds until I came for an appointment. then I made an appointment and the office manager didn't know it, so she kept giving me a problem with my meds. now she has fired me, with a phone message and told me not to come to the clinic anymore.

I am not always a pleasant person, but I have not done anything even wrong in any way. as may have been obvious on this blog, I can complain a lot when something bothers me.

I am not a well person, and this constant worrying it not good for me.

I am up early on a Saturday because I am just laying in bed thinking about this.

my phone battery doesn't last long enough to sit on hold for hours dealing with people who put me on hold, so I have written lots of letters of complaints.

I think that is why the office manager fired me.

the second wave of letters I have written have been to state agencies complaining about being fired and cut off from my meds.

I think I need to stop relying on my own self and leave it all in the hands of god.
1 comment
apology
Posted:Nov 14, 2017 5:51 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 12:49 pm
43105 Views

please forgive me lord for my pride.

please forgive me for being flippant to others. I am no better than others. please help me to always remember how you have helped me from the depths of my despair.

please help me to encourage and love everyone. I have been forgetting that you are my only hope and relying on myself again.
0 Comments
sojo
Posted:Nov 7, 2017 7:04 am
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2017 9:11 pm
65189 Views

sojo and I have going through some confrontation in this blog. I pretend NOT to listen to him, because he thinks he is my personal therapist or something. but I do read what says, unfortunately (yawn). he asked the eternal question: why do I write this blog? he supposedly answered his own question: to say "yah yah, nah nah to what people comment to me." that is NOT the right answer.

I write this blog to hear myself think. I write this blog when things are weighing heavily on my mind and I just need to get it out. it is kind of a prayer also at times, written directly to god. I don't need therapy, well maybe I do at times, but that is NOT what I am looking for.

there is a tenant of AA that says we are not here to fix each other, we are only here to HEAR each other. it is like that. hear me, don't try to fix me. and do NOT just be a smart ass
6 Comments
up early for church
Posted:Nov 5, 2017 6:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2017 1:01 pm
49142 Views
I forgot it was fall back day and got up for church an hour early. I changed all my clocks and am STILL bored. I went to the religion room at my usual chat place and ALL the atheists where out in full force this morning. not a good way to start the day.
1 comment
holding grandma hostage (miracle)
Posted:Nov 3, 2017 6:55 pm
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2017 6:57 pm
47786 Views

I talked to my old man today. it seems he has been grinding on this situation too. he doesn't know god, but he was able to broker a peace deal with my brother and my nephews. he is planning a Christmas with all of us this year. thank you god
0 Comments
holding grandma and the babies hostage for christmas
Posted:Oct 29, 2017 1:44 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2017 6:51 am
71426 Views
my folx own a HUGE apartment building in a good neighborhood in chicago. all of my siblings have lived in apartments there, as well as many of our . i lived in a basement apartment with my 3 for (10 years), after the divorce. and i lived alone in another basement apartment for many years before and after i got the in court. my sister also lived in an apartment there for MANY years when her were young, and she lives in that same apartment now that her husband has passed. my grandmother lived here for a long time after my grandfather passed, and the other grandfather lived here after that grandma passed. i guess that this is much the way things were done back in the day, and my father is very happy to continue this italian tradition. my little brother moved into a basement apt a few years back when he got divorced, and that is the main reason that i had moved out. my little brother is not that bright and VERY selfish and mean. he and i got into a VERY physical fight a few years back right around christmas, that had a LOT to do with why i moved out and into the church.

i have had to sell the church building and move back into this building after i got sick from MS. with Christ's help, i have mostly been able to forgive and forgive my brother's foolishness and selfishness. the problem is not with me, but with my sister's . not even my sister's exactly, but really with her grandkids, who are very young, 2 yrs., 4 mos. & 1 mo. my nephew, the father of the 2 yr. old and the 1 mo., got into an argument with my little brother at a family gathering this summer. apparently words were exchanged and my brother CURSED the of my nephew (the newer was NOT born yet). and my niece-in-law flipped my brother THE bird. i somehow missed this argument, but it has been MUCH gossip fodder in the family since. my nephew and his family have been refusing to return to greatgrandparent's home, which also means my sister's home. i went to a party yesterday at my nephew's home at which the mean brother was intentionally NOT invited. my , and my new grandkid (1 yr.) were there. i guess that the topic of the day was about how my sister's (s) and grandkid(s) will NOT be at the greatgranparent's place for christmas.

i do NOT know what to do. i don' t think i should do anything at all. it is NOT my place to get involved. i LOVE my little grandnephews and my sister as well as her 2 sons. i am also hurting a LOT for my mother, this is killing her, and she is not well. i have prayed on this situation and left it in the hands of god.
13 Comments
i got a medicare supplement plan
Posted:Oct 23, 2017 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2017 5:50 pm
48054 Views

I went to the dr. today, they had cancelled the appt. I had made 3 months ago at the last minute, but I went there anyways. I needed to get my medicare supplement plan worked out. I have been TRYING to do this online for the last week with NO luck. I guess that the law says that you have to meet with a professional to change your plan this month, and I have been avoiding that like the plague.

I had signed up for aarp plan at the (really bad) advice from someone in my MS meeting group, and it hasn't been covering squat. so I knew that I needed to change my plan, and I TRIED to change it online as I have said, but i just kept getting the run around. I knew I had an appt. at the local clinic and I figured I would find a plan there. it is the federal deadline to change plans this month. I go to a clinic for old folks and they do that kind of stuff there.

then, they cancelled my appt. and I went anyways and whined and complained. I do that REALLY well. I walked out with NEW insurance and a NEW appt. for next week. thanks god, I have been REALLY stressing out over this. I think that the plan is MUCH better than the aarp plan. it couldn't be much worse
0 Comments
celebrate recovery (CR)
Posted:Oct 18, 2017 8:30 am
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2017 6:41 am
70018 Views
I have been going to celebrate recovery (the church’s answer to AA) for more than a year now. I am a “leader” there and I believe it is part of my own ministry. It is supposed to be anonymous, so I will TRY to talk bout my OWN feelings. Lately I have had a rotten attitude. I told another member last night that I was SICK of hearing him talk. I only said that because he confronted me at a time when I was REALLY sick of hearing him. He tends to go on and on and on. I really appreciate that he kind of keeps things moving, because I am kind of a dead beat, but he NEVER shuts up. I thought about this all night, and I think that I need to have a talk with this person, and explain that we are not there just to hear ourselves’ talk, rather we are there to help others.

A LOT of other members tend to talk TOO much. But this person fancies hisself as a leader. I say “fancy” because he is NOT a leader, yet he tends to take over the meeting constantly. He talks WAY more than anyone else, and he is TOTALLY irrelevant, although he thinks he is fantastic. We have a timer and he ALWAYS goes beyond his timed spot anyway, and he usually will speak in the larger group (too MUCH) before we get to the smaller group to share. It makes me nuts(er). I will try to talk to him privately, before the small group share to try to explain this. I will TRY to encourage him and say all sorts of positive things when I talk to him. But I feel that he HAS to stop taking over the meeting.

This is a weekly meeting, so I have all week to wait to confront this person, but I am thinking (too much) on it now. Did I remember to mention that I have a rotten attitude lately?
7 Comments
rainy day
Posted:Oct 14, 2017 3:33 pm
Last Updated:May 28, 2024 12:49 pm
49287 Views

it is raining like crazy in Chicago. I was worried about my car making it through some of the HUGE puddles on the streets (it is a little car). at least I am NOT in a basement anymore. I don't have to worry about flooding. thank you god for providing for me, and helping me get through the rain. it is really not a problem other than being a bummer. I am SO grateful for everything that I have. you have blessed me, god, thank you
0 Comments

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