AN UNIMPORTANT PRAYER REQUEST?
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Posted:Jul 22, 2008 9:45 am
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2008 12:51 am 2319 Views
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I'm singing a solo Sunday.
The song is "The Anchor Holds".
The leader of our worship team is great. He is understanding, helpful, knowledgable, devoted to God.
He also has his quirks. The things he almost obsesses about.
The main one is rhythm. He likes a person to stay on beat.
The thing is, I feel strongly about this song. I feel that I'm not performing a recital. I'm giving a testimony.
And Thursday, when we practice, I've decided to tell Patrick that.
Sounds easy, doesn't it.
But I like to make people happy, and I don't know how he is going to react when I tell him that this is a testimony, and as such, I just don't feel perfect timing is a necessity, so would he please simply follow me? (He's playing the piano).
You see, in our practices, he keeps stopping me. "You added two beats there." "You sped up here".
And I've tried, really tried to change how I sing the song. But I've realized that all the soul is gone. It's all technique.
That isn't what I want to say to the congregation. "I have great musical technique".
I want to say that no matter what, God sticks by you.
Would you please pray for me? I want to tell Patrick that I will sing the song how I feel led. But I don't want to offend or upset him.
I also want to sing the song in a way that will allow the Holy Spirit to speak to the congregation.
Music is so amazing. Each person hears it in his or her own language, so God can use one song and help many people. I don't want to be at the center of this song. I want God and the people listening to be at the center, together.
Would you please pray that it would be so?
I realize that this doesn't seem as important as many prayer requests, but we never know what might help a person. And we never know whether something might simply make a person feel good, or might actually give them enough hope to choose to keep living.
If you should feel led to pray for me at this time, I thank you.
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HOW TO HELP A SOLDIER
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Posted:Jul 21, 2008 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2008 8:31 pm 2248 Views
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A young man who grew up with my dropped by today. I don't know exactly where he stands, spiritually, at this moment. I know he has been around the world---figuratively and literally---and is finding his way back. He showed me a picture of his wife and .
He also spoke of his service in Iraq.
He told me about talking to a guy, turning, and the guy was gone. Just gone.
About the "care" package he received. With a DVD telling him what a terrible thing he is doing in Iraq.
David told me that many things go on that we aren't told about. Like the American soldiers giving out clothes and food to Iraqis every day.
He also told me that a real care package only takes about $18 to ship over there. But the effect it has on our people is worth more than diamonds.
So, I wrote a list of things that David said are great to send to our troops in a care package.
Here it is:
Beef jerky---because the cows are sacred in that part of the world, cows are fed, while the people starve. Our soldiers love eating beef. It reminds them of home.
Gun oil SPF 10 spray foam---it keeps their rifles in good working order, but is hard to get over there. It keeps selling out. David said he went to buy some one day, and a man had bought 10 cases of this gun oil. So there was none left.
Socks---the kind that go halfway up the leg (because of the boots).
Pictures of America---downtown, houses, mountains, any and all.
Store-bought rice krispie treats
Notes of encouragement
Small Bibles---David said after a man has killed for the first time, it causes him to really think about things. One question that keeps coming up is: I've killed someone. I'm going to Hell. Aren't I?
If we could do just a little bit, it would help. David said the soldiers get DVD's frequently, telling them how awful they are.
Isn't it time we told them something different?
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WHAT IS IT ABOUT MUSICIANS?
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Posted:Jul 20, 2008 8:26 pm
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2008 10:48 am 2337 Views
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If you've read my last couple blogs, you know I've been struggling.
Two things were said by people in my worship team that have caused things to shift a little.
Oh, I'm still wrestling.
But now I smile as I do it.
Today, the worship leader thanked me for asking for prayer. I have felt like an idiot because I broke down and cried, and I'm not a "crier". I told them about how I hated having to use a cane, etc., and it was upsetting my . I asked for prayer for her, too. Then I bawled my eyes out. I haven't figured out why Patrick thanked me, yet, but it's interesting...
The other thing that happened is I heard the bass player in the group talking. He said he has never met a well-adjusted musician. Musicians are a certain breed, he said, and they just never seem to really become well balanced.
For some reason, I felt better, hearing that.
Now I know I'm not alone, I guess. lol
Darrel tried to smooth it over by saying musicians are "sensitive".
I dunno.
I just know this is this coolest worship band I've ever served on, and the bass player is the best I've ever heard. Each person keeps Christ at the center of what they're doing. I love that.
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WRESTLING WITH GOD?
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Posted:Jul 19, 2008 6:18 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2008 7:50 pm 2276 Views
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At different times in our lives, we identify we different people in the Bible. At least, that's how it is with me.
Lately, I identify with Jacob.
Remember how he wrestled with the angel?
All night long they wrestled!
I wrestle.
Every day.
Whether it's with God, or with my own "demons", I'm not sure yet.
But I keep wrestling.
I keep thinking that I should have learned by now.
After all, the car accident was in 1994.
I ought to be used to walking slower than I used to walk.
I ought to be used to having George around.(That's what I named my cane.)
The pain should be second nature by now.
But I despise being slowed down.
And I hate needing George.
And I get really tired of the pain.
So every day I wrestle.
I try not to.
I try to accept how things are, and go from here.
My motto has always been "you play the hand you're dealt".
So why am I so frustrated? I should be able to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and move on.
I try. I really do.
I take the breath. I say the prayer.
Then I stand up.
And have to teach my legs to walk again.
Every day.
Something inside me screams, "I'm not made to be slow! I want to move! Move!" And my legs sit there laughing at me, taking baby steps across the carpet.
I remind myself that I used to be in a wheelchair, and many people are shocked that I'm walking at all. Count Your Blessings, and all that.
But I hate---no, I DESPISE how I am since the car accident.
So I keep on---
Wrestling with God?
Or my own demons?
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ONE MORE ANT
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Posted:Jul 16, 2008 10:50 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2008 5:51 pm 2341 Views
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So I use my gifts to God's glory.
I do everything as unto the Lord.
I've been doing that.
But now I want to know something:
what do they mean?
Really?
When I paint the flowers in my yard, and do it to God's glory.
Pin it down.
In real-life, solid terms, what in the world does that mean?
I give God the credit.
I use paintings to encourage people.
So is that it?
What about when I play my congas?
I'm tired of these nebulous church phrases that don't say anything. We use them to massage our emotions or kick start our worship. It's time to toss them.
No, I'm not being heretical. "To the glory of God" was a great phrase---in its day. But how many people do you know who walk into a restaurant and say, "The food here is good because of the glory of the chef."
We occasionally hear people use the term "glorious" to describe good food or pretty hair. But somehow, I get the feeling that has brought the word down a bit.
If you are sitting at home and make a beautiful bracelet, how---can anyone tell me in today's words?---do I do that to the glory of God?
How does it become---useful?
Or are the terms "to the glory of God" and "useful" not even close to being the same thing?
If that is the case, then no matter how much we do something "to the glory of God", it can still all be useless... And we are just one more ant scurrying around on the hill, thinking we're doing something important...
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ARE GIFTS INEVITABLY USELESS?
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Posted:Jul 15, 2008 12:05 pm
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2008 9:52 am 2540 Views
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I've been told God has given me gifts.
I paint.
I do carpentry.
I embroider.
I sew.
I crochet.
I design handbags.
I am intuitive.
I design furniture.
I can teach.
I design diaper bags.
I can encourage.
I can pray.
I read well.
I can act.
I can write poetry.
I can write plays.
I have been told I am wise.
I compose music
I make jewelry
I sing
My question:
Why?
I do all these things. I have "stuff"---my word for paintings, music, etc.---all over the place.
What do they accomplish? They just sit there, staring back at me. They do nothing. Why am I given gifts if I have no way to put them to use?
Yes, I'm on the worship team at church. That's once a week, playing someone else's music for a few minutes. And I love it.
I have a book published. Not as exciting as it sounds.
I sell the bags.
I pray for people.
I encourage people.
I paint cards for people.
When I know what to pray for, and see people I think need encouragement.
I guess I feel useless. Does that seem odd?
My say I should do all that I do just because I love doing them.
But I want what I do to have a purpose. I don't want to look down the road and see that it was just---useless.
Or is that inevitable?
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FROM A STOLEN BIKE TO DANCING IN THE AISLES
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Posted:Jul 12, 2008 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2008 12:00 am 2143 Views
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Last Thursday, at worship practice, the worship minister got his bike stolen. He had brought it into the building and everything, but someone came in and got it.
Yeah, it's just a bike---except---our woship minister relaxes by entering triathlons, and he's training for one right now.
Tonight was second Saturday, where we play a mini-concert for the neighborhood and have a movie and popcorn. Patrick---the worship minister---didn't really feel up to it, but he came. Rather than holding the drummer back like he usually does, though, he had the drummer take off and "do his thing". And boy, did he do it!
Those church songs were great fun! We rocked out even more than usual, and had two drum solos!
People were actually dancing in the aisles to the church music.
Patrick gave me a ride home. He said he felt much better.
No kidding!
Hmm...I wonder...do the angels ever feel like dancing when the music is really cookin'?
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BESIDE MYSELF WITH BAGS
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Posted:Jul 12, 2008 10:56 am
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2008 9:30 pm 2254 Views
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My handbag business is taking off.
People like my designs. They appreciate that, even though I hand-sew my purses, I go over the seams again and again. I'm a quality nut. They like that I am able to either embroider or paint designs, and that I'm willing to do custom work without charging extra.
And I'm ready to turn and run.
This is ridiculous.
I've been making purses since I was 14.
My convinced me that my purses are cool enough for (gasp) even her. So I began preparing to sell them.
I design and make unique diaper bags, too. Diaper bags are SO boring! So I decided to change them.
And things are moving. And my stomach hurts.
I must be cuckoo.
But, boy I'm having fun!
Hmm...this doesn't make much sense....does it?
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PAINTING FLOWERS
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Posted:Jul 8, 2008 12:38 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2008 12:45 am 2385 Views
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I sat outside for two days, painting pics of flowers. Then I tossed the painting.
My says I'm too picky when it comes to myself.
Maybe.
But I look around at all the beauty---the overwhelming beauty---and I just don't feel I do it justice.
Ah, well.
Maybe some day...
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NEVER ALONE
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Posted:Jul 5, 2008 1:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2008 6:06 pm 2294 Views
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This fourth of July, my got invited to a friend's house. So did my . So for most of the day I was alone.
Well, not really alone. The neighborhood was pretty energetic, with people going by. At first, they were just talking but, of course, eventually, they brought out the fireworks, which is cool.
Also, I wasn't really alone because I spent the day sitting on my deck, playing my keyboard and singing praises. God felt very close.
My didn't want me to spend the whole day alone, so he stopped on the way to his friend's, and spent a couple hours with me.
I appreciate his thoughtfulness. I just about bust my sweater buttons with pride when my do things like that. While he was here, I shared a song with him that I thought he might like. A church song. (He isn't a Christian). He liked it.
The song was "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns. My was surprised at how good they sound. Not preachy and "all that crap". Just listenable music. I smiled and agreed.
I love that he visits.
What he doesn't know is---I'm never alone.....
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