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sarah387 43F
135 posts
10/14/2008 10:29 pm
Physical appearance


How much does physical appearance matter to guys?

I don't know, but I just finished slaughtering 3 of my brothers in Texas Hold'em (ahh yess) and we were talking about how sometimes an overweight person can indicate with their image that there is something going on emotionally or mentally on the inside. I agreed with my brothers, but one of my brothers had brought up stretch marks and how they were unsightly. I was a little offended but kept it to myself that I had them. I've had 2 and I consider them totally worth having my 2 boys. They are to me beautiful scars that mark the fact that me and my babies were 1 at a moment in time.

Do they really gross you guys out though? I am self-conscious of them as it is, but with the bluntness my brother had talking about them though I am even more so feeling a little on the less desirable side.

I know this is not exactly "God-related" material, but you guys are decent brothers and sisters in Christ and I thought I would throw this out to a decent crowd like yourselves.


pricelessjoy 73F
5916 posts
10/15/2008 4:53 am

Well I am not a guy, but I have stretch marks too from my two children. I would not want to marry a man that thought they were unsightly. Just my opinion....

May God Bless You in ABUNDANCE


Interpretation
(Darlene G)
57F
1316 posts
10/15/2008 5:18 am

I think that's the view of many men,,,,until they fall in love with someone who has them.


BristerBate 70M
6377 posts
10/15/2008 6:57 am

Hello Sarah! Long time no see!

You have several thoughts in your text. However, the common point is that one can sidetrack from "reality" and enter one's own fantasy world.
That's the worst part.

The media focuses on body perfection. The world is obsessed with exterior beauty. People get brainwashed and try to copy what they see and create their fantasy characters. They feel they aren't that nice themselves and believe that there's something wrong with them. Then they might abuse of plastic surgery, cosmetic products, clothes, jewelry, etc...

Now one certainly dresses up and fixes oneself somewhat extra on certain occasions, and there's nothing wrong with it. One wouldn't want to look untidy and ragged, unshaved, or like when one wakes up in the mornings.. (!)

One can enhance one's look, just as one can make it worse.

Isn't the goal to be oneself and be aware of it? Not to mention proportional self-esteem, as much as respect for others, and appreciation?

As in other things, it's often a matter of discernment and balance which one should be guided through childhood. Later in life, all of one's own experiences will also form the way we behave, think and conduct ourselves in society and in the environment we live.

I don't quite get that about the "stretch marks"! What stretch marks? Figuratively or physically? Are the kids themselves "scars"? In the eyes of your brothers? Others?
How old are they now? Do they have an "own voice"?

Too many questions?
OK, here comes the last one:

When precisely "at a moment in time" were you 1?

And I also think, God can be WELL related with this "material" as well. Is there actually any circumstances for "decent" brethren where we could leave Him out???

BB
__________________________

PS: I will keep this post on watch for one week - no longer.


OceanBlue122 56F

10/15/2008 7:29 am

Well not all guys look for perfection in a woman!!! It's sad when they don't see human nature for what it really is! And I agree with Interpretation......when you fall in love you love every inch of a person, their scars, aches and pains, birth marks, crazy hair growth, baldness, gawky features, crooked nose, chunkiness..........just everything.......because you love them, you don't see it as the world does!!! Because once you're in love your eyes see and you communicate on a different level!

The most awesome thing about people is if they see someone who is handsome or pretty in face, but sure they're overweight (doesn't matter how much), but their spirit and who they are is something to behold.......what's wrong with that guy or girl assisting and encouraging, or inspiring the over weighted one to lose weight......so that that person could be healed from whatever caused the weight gain. What an absolutely wonderful thing to do for another person!!!!

That shows a great amount of love for another human being!!! I know I would....that's why I've said to guys who tell me they've got extra padding and I say it doesn't matter to me.......because I know I'm going to assist him and encourage him......lift his spirits, get him interested in taking control of his situation......make him stronger in himself......give him courage and self confidence!!!! But that's just me!!!! The very sad thing is it's just a little love for the other. So it's awful if someone passes up someone who is really great due to a few extra pounds, or other imperfect type flaws!!!

Sorry to say this but if others don't accept natural unsightliness (for lack of a better word) then they're living in a dreamworld....and what a pity they're missing out on great wonderful people and quite possibly a great love that could be something they've never known!!!


jerseygirl1964
(Ginny )
60F
3657 posts
10/15/2008 9:06 pm

    Quoting OceanBlue122:
    Well not all guys look for perfection in a woman!!! It's sad when they don't see human nature for what it really is! And I agree with Interpretation......when you fall in love you love every inch of a person, their scars, aches and pains, birth marks, crazy hair growth, baldness, gawky features, crooked nose, chunkiness..........just everything.......because you love them, you don't see it as the world does!!! Because once you're in love your eyes see and you communicate on a different level!

    The most awesome thing about people is if they see someone who is handsome or pretty in face, but sure they're overweight (doesn't matter how much), but their spirit and who they are is something to behold.......what's wrong with that guy or girl assisting and encouraging, or inspiring the over weighted one to lose weight......so that that person could be healed from whatever caused the weight gain. What an absolutely wonderful thing to do for another person!!!!

    That shows a great amount of love for another human being!!! I know I would....that's why I've said to guys who tell me they've got extra padding and I say it doesn't matter to me.......because I know I'm going to assist him and encourage him......lift his spirits, get him interested in taking control of his situation......make him stronger in himself......give him courage and self confidence!!!! But that's just me!!!! The very sad thing is it's just a little love for the other. So it's awful if someone passes up someone who is really great due to a few extra pounds, or other imperfect type flaws!!!

    Sorry to say this but if others don't accept natural unsightliness (for lack of a better word) then they're living in a dreamworld....and what a pity they're missing out on great wonderful people and quite possibly a great love that could be something they've never known!!!
Very beautifully put Lisa!! AMEN!! and so TRUE!!

* Sin is sin. Careful what comes across your lips & out your finger tips!!!
* We are all the Body of Christ. Let's treat each other as such, with the same respect we give to HIM!!
* Relationship advice: DO NOT make someone a PRIORITY, when they ONLY make you an OPTION!!
* A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek HIM in order to find her!!


ladylightwalker

10/15/2008 11:42 pm

Yes when you see true beauty (the love of God) in someone, the physical takes a back seat...way back... God's love is so awsome to love another with. It's different than "terminal human love" based on what "I" can get. It's based on what I can "give". And it builds to a beautifull love in God with each other. I'm learning this love now, and it is awsome... Never settle for anything less than God's love from someone. And nice to meet you Sarah . I'm with the ndn guy Sweet aint he? Blessings, Robin



"Love is Patient..."