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freee2shine 54F
85 posts
9/7/2007 6:49 pm
My Testimony


I dont normally say much bout my testimony coz its a bit strange .. but hey thats how i do things.. but i feel in my spirit to share, so here goes.

I grew up being rejected by two sets of parents and was beaten, and molested .. so i was kind of a loner. One night when i was 9 yrs old i was just laying on my bed and i had never heard of Jesus but i knew somehow that He was my brother and i looked up and told God that i loved HIM.. and immediately my room was filled with the presence of God, i had never experienced anything like it, i had tears of joy running down my cheeks. But i didnt get saved at that point.

I had my beautiful Grandma .. who was the closest person i had to a mother.. she loved and accepted me and i knew it and hers was the only love i knew in my childhood.

One day when i was 9 yrs my Grandma told me that one day the earth would open up and all the bad people would fall into the hellfire, well i just stood there stunned. It seemed to come left of field.. but it was the Holy Spirit coz 1 yr later i tried to kill my brother who was molesting me but God put a vision right in front of me, it was of me .alone and the earth opened up and i was standing on the edge ready to fall into the hellfire. It stopped me long enough for my brother to get the knife off me .. thank God!! For He loved me enough to stop me and loved my brother enough to save his life.

Time passed and at 17 i was asked to leave home and was packed up and sent out to live with my two older brothers ( one who molested and beat me and one who just beat me) they were both into drugs, one more heavily than the other and they both had drinking problems. In that time i had gotten a kitten (geisha) my eldest brother one day picked my kitten up and threw her against a cement wall .. she had an operation only two weeks before.. but i cried and it was the first i had cried in 8 yrs coz i decided at 10 yrs old to not let them see that they hurt me, but seeing my poor defensless kitten thrown head first into a cement was too much.. i ran and scooped her up and took her to a vet and she was ok ..i also took her to a lady who found homes for kittens..she didnt need to be around that kind of danger. But the flood gates opened.

The same brother oneday threatened to beat me coz he lost his wallet.. so i left coz i knew what it was like to beaten by him before. So i went and asked my dad if i could move back home.. he said no there wasnt enough room .. two weeks later my cousin moved in there for 6 months. I had to live on the streets while going through an emotional breakdown and i was diagnosed manic depressive. I was suicidal and could feel my thoughts slipping away from me .. one day i cried out to God.. i said "HELP ME" and i heard Him say " forgive him ( my brother who molested me) and write a letter to your parents to let them know what happened" so i forgave my brother and painstakingly wrote the letter.. i was afraid it would kill him as my mum had told me to stop taking my problems to my dad coz i would kill him. So finally i did it.. and i gave it to them. it was not received well, but the next morning i was totally delivered of that emotional breakdown and manic depression.

I got pregnant while living on the streets and got engaged and was engaged for 10 yrs. I was 18 at the time. For 10 yrs i put up with not being loved by my fiance who was an alcoholic. Then after 10 yrs i broke up with him.

His best friends were into satanism and after he left we had a demon and a familiar spirit attacking us.. first they attacked my who could see them .. he went from being confident to being so scared he would hide under his covers. I always had a fear of spirits coz i had seen them when i was young. It was the most horrible experience. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and then one morning i had the tv on and it was a show called Jesus tv.. the preacher .. Phil Pringle.. mentioned how he saw a demon..and it caught my attention. At the end of the show there was the salvation prayer.. and i had no idea what it was about .. just that i needed to pray it.. so i did.. and Praise God my and i are walking strong with God.

My Grandma was christian.. and unbeknownst to me .. she had been praying for me my whole life. She is now in heaven .. we were close..we were best friends and will continue to be in heaven.

In my walk with God .. He has totally and utterly delivered me from 22 yrs of smoking.. without one withdrawal symptom.. He has saved my childrens and my life many times amongst a lot of other things.

Lately i have been healed of two primary cancers and am now CANCER FREE. Praise God.. i was supposed to be dead but God had other plans and the oncologist is totally baffled as to how nothing spread.

That is part of my story. And thank you to all who have added their stories to busykydad's blog.. you have all encouraged me to do the same. And thanks for the opportunity to share. God bless you all abundantly.


Love Hayley xx


AusChristian 58M

10/2/2007 4:53 am

Freee, thank you for sharing your testimony. I was just finding my way around this site and came across it, I was greatly moved. I'm so glad you found the grace of God, and became truly free because of it.

God Bless


lillybrit 51F

9/29/2007 1:29 pm

My beautiful friend hayley. I am lost for words, even as I write this i am crying. You truely are an amazing woman of God! As I read what you have experienced in your life, and to see how God has brought you through everything. I am both humbled and blessed. You are inspiration and a testimony to the power of God and his faithfulness to his word. He never promised it would be easy, but he promised never to leave or forsake us. He was with you all the way! He still is...and everytime I speak with you, I see him in you. Free2shine..yes you are!!! And how wonderful you do shine!!!! I love ya hayley and thank you for being a gracious loving friend. An inspiration to my life. It's an honour to know you. One day my dear we will meet!!!! bless you and thank you for sharing xxxxxxxxxxx

Lilly


apostle2day 83M

9/29/2007 4:36 am

Hayley...

You are a strong and amazing young woman !
I can't imagine such a tough life, but I know there are many millions all around the globe still living lives today similar to what you have been through. Praise Him that virtually every young child can inately feel His realness early in life, before the troubles come. In America, we have been blessed so highly, and have it so easy, that we can hardly even begin to grasp such reality.
There's so much we can't understand about our amazing Father, but He brings each life into the world, direct from Himself, our spirit and very life, but so many yet today, into unbelievable circumstances and hellholes. We ask why ?...and no answer seems to come, for we cannot grasp all that God is, and all about how He starts from scratch in primitive situations and cultures, and gradually builds His family, out of those very hellholes.
Who can understand the purpose of giving life to fetuses who never even make it out of the womb alive ? What a waste, from our view, but all the while, our great Father continues to work even through that, and gradually bring forth His unstoppable loving Spirit out of destruction, hellholes, and extreme fallenness, ignorance, and cruel primitivity. How ? We can't understand----maybe ever----we can only stand in awe of such an amazing life and power, and wondrous creativity and love ! One whose great Spirit will eventually cover the earth, in complete glory and praise.
You are living proof of that very fact. He is always with us !
Thank you very much for telling part of your story. I know it's just the tip of that story, but enough to show many that there is always hope in God, and the fact that He is still doing His miracles, always.
God bless you highly !...and I know your amazing Grandma has a proud heart in heaven that is bigger than Dallas, because of God and your tenacity and triumph ! She'll be waiting with open arms when your time comes to go.....



PTL !


Limnyuy 53M
30 posts
9/22/2007 3:21 am

Dear sister you are really free and you have to shine. God passes at times through our horrible moments in life either to heal, deliver or to save us. When things as such happens it is a call for us to tell the world what God has done, what he can do, what he is doing and what he will do.
There are those who today are in such conditions but it is our turn to move to them and present the saviour who has the lasting solution.

Thank you very much sister for your testimony.


MRAUTHOR2000 49M

9/18/2007 2:58 pm

Sorry hear that happen to u my dear friend.God is protecting u with my strenght of love.Thank u for sharing this.I know it must been so hard get through that nightmare.I am continue praying for u & thinking of u my sister of christ.Stay strong be bless in Lord heart.

JERRY PETTY AKA MRAUTHOR2000


kizinga
(partrick Nyanzi)
52M
6 posts
9/18/2007 3:09 am

Hi Free,Am so so sorry for the hardship that you passed through ,but ithank God for saving you and totally delivering you , for through all he is lord.He has good plans for you to see you through every thing becouse he said when we pass through fire, water or even the valley of death ,is ever with us.Thanks for sharing with us this testimony,its so touching and it brings hope to those in affliction and i know its going to help many.please sister i know god is gonna use you so mightly may God bless you.


GreenGal777
(Lisa H)
63F
1182 posts
9/16/2007 5:44 pm

Freeee,,, i cant believe an amazing, strong, funny woman like you has come out of all that. God be praised. I cried and cried when I read your testimony. I am such wimpy whiner for I have had it soft but I complain to God that i want it softer. I am going to share your testimony to my friends at work. Im so blest to know you and have you as a friend here. thank God so much for you.. I love you so much. God is so using you. Stay rejoicing my dear sister in Jesus.

Lisa(GG777)


draedrae 75F

9/14/2007 11:20 pm

Awesome testimony of an awesome God, Haley. Thanks so much for sharing you. I can see your light burning brighter and brighter through it all. Aren't you excited to He has something for YOU to do! Glad you are here!


jolene20072 55F

9/12/2007 6:18 pm

Hayley my dear wow is all i can say sis what a great testimony i sat here and cried my eyes out after reading ure testimoy but i know we serve an awesome god and thank god for his salvation and precious blood he shed for us that we may have ever lasting life. He is a god that healeth us from all manner of sicknesses and praise him for that.I too was raised bye my grandmother she adopted me when i was a baby and if it had not been for her id probably be dead bye now. Hayley u have an awesome testimony sis and i love ya to death my sister may the lord continously shine brightly in ure life love ure sister Jolene

Romans 10:13 For who so ever shall call upon the name of the lord shall be saved


Rebekka_returns 78F

9/12/2007 12:33 pm

That's my Jesus! Hallelujah! Praise God!

They overcame him by the word of their testimony and the blood of the Lamb! You, my sister are an overcomer!


Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and one hand over my mouth!


Rebekka_returns 78F

9/12/2007 8:48 am

That's my Jesus! Hallelujah! Praise God!

They overcame him by the word of their testimony and the blood of the Lamb!


Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and one hand over my mouth!


freee2shine 54F

9/10/2007 12:46 am

My precious Izzy. i have been so encouraged by you and your strength in what you have been through. You may not realize but there have been times through the whole cancer thing when i just felt blaaah.. and you would just say something ... and it would be exactly what i needed to be able to strengthen myself in God. So thank you for your friendship and support and encouragment. I love you dearly. Hayley xxx


freee2shine 54F

9/10/2007 12:42 am

Thx Mel for the comment... i cant stop laughing at the end part of it .. hahah.. i think THE BIKE needs to be painting flourescent PINK!! haha. But seriously.. i know God had nothing to do with that abuse. i know who it came from .. satan.. trying to destroy me. But our amazing God kept me from being destroyed and now He is using what i have been through to touch others lives and to me there is no better purpose for my past. I love you heaps. And no wonder we get along we're TWINS hahahah lol .. we are both introvert/extrovert. i like how u said it. extrovert in humour and introvert in heart of hearts. Thx for all your support and freindship.


_Frazzie 52F

9/9/2007 6:00 am

Hayley Newton John...( )..

How Great is our God, when we look back and read and think about all that He has gotten us through, and even before we acknowledged Him, He was working in us..
Know that God had NO part in your abuse, like I know He wasnt in mine, But God works all things for His good.. ..
I'm blessed to have ya as a friend.. really am.. Now IF you would just go that extra mile for that bike.. I'd be most grateful....

((((( You ))))))) :


freee2shine 54F

9/9/2007 2:10 am

Poet thx heaps.. My Grandma was inspirational in my life and a God send. She was everything from a mother to me.. to my bestfriend and everything in between. And i believe she did pray Him there because i should have been a lot more messed up than i was.. and Praise God most of all for His amazingness and wonderful healing. Thank you for taking the time to let me know how my story affected you. God bless


pjn78
(Phil )
47M

9/9/2007 1:27 am

Hayley ...wow what a testimony ...remember that God loves you and to keep your head up and smile ...you are an awesome friend


poet4life 73M
285 posts
9/8/2007 11:41 am

I read your story and took a time out to think about what I see…first of all it is very moving and fills me emotion and a wanting to send you an internet hug…After the tears stopped and I began to read it again I could feel an Angel coming through lifting you out of your story, between each word, between and around each letter.
All I think is you Grand Mother must have prayed him there…
Lifting you out of your story to who you have become today….

Thank you for…
First of all writing this fine work and then…
Sharing it with us...
I know how hard that is to do and God Bless You…

I still can’t fine the right words to express how great this writing is…

I am going back to read it again …and again…

GBY

Duane


selah62 63M

9/8/2007 7:11 am

Someone said, "The sweetest words I've ever heard were, I forgive you." Forgiveness is a healing balm for the soul. God bless you little sister.
Gary

~ Believe His Word and trust His grace ~


freee2shine 54F

9/8/2007 5:52 am

thx PENELOPE>. hahahah . lol.. yes I am really sure it ME ! hahah lol.. thx for the encouragement.. ur a doll. God bless xxx


freee2shine 54F

9/8/2007 5:44 am

Hey HOnky.. ( Mark) i thought you knew my name was Hayley already, but guess not. Thx for the comment.. and i know God is gonna use all of it for good.. coz thats the promise. And thanks for typing that whole scripture. CAnt wait to read your testimony too. i bet you have been through some stuff. And as you said.. it is only a portion of what i have been through ..thats why i am doing a book. Jesus is awesome.. and its only by Gods grace that i am here alive to tell it. thx again..see ya in chat Mark..(HONKYTONK)


joyful0061 63F

9/8/2007 4:56 am

Thanks Heyley, for sharing your heart and your life with us. It truly showes, that God is the same, yesterday, today and for ever.

We do not know why He allowed it to happen, yet we definitely see that He is not going to let your hurt to be waisted. He is using it to help others in a way you could never have imagined. I am glad He saved you and that He healed you. Bless you.

Annie

What God does in our lives during the waiting period is just as important as what we are waiting for.
John Ortberg


CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS


ms_littlething07 68F

9/8/2007 3:53 am

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE2!!!!!! Hey are you sure this is you?? LOL (no one else will understand our little private joke...except the Frazz girl of course!!
WOW what a powerful testimony. Thanks so much for sharing it. I pray that someones life will be changed because of it. You are a brave and gutsy lady.....an awesome woman of God! YOU GO GIRL!!!!
Love ya lots!


PENELOPE
"For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord" Jer 29:11


KEYHOLE 61M

9/8/2007 2:48 am

well Haley now i know your name lol I have to say im sure this was only a small portion of what hell you really went through& Thx be unto The Lord Jesus Christ has only HE is able to do such marvelous& wonderful things with-in our lives Hey Haley your always a trip in the chat room & i think your a real sweet sister in the Faith !Praise God for your boldness in sharing what you did i KNOW that God is able to use this ro FREE others!! For it is Written They OVERCAME him[[ satan ]] BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB & BY THE WORD OF THERE TESTIMONY & THEY DIDNT LOVE THERE LIVES UNTO DEATH !!! See ya in chat sis in Christs Love Mark


freee2shine 54F

9/8/2007 12:18 am

Beauty .. thx for the comment and yes it is by the blood of the Lamb that we can testify.. He is awesome!!


freee2shine 54F

9/8/2007 12:16 am

BUSYKYDAD.. dont know ur real name.. but thanks for starting that blog..God is really using it in many ways.. its awesome!!


freee2shine 54F

9/8/2007 12:13 am

Thanks for the encouragement Pat. XXX


Overcaffeinated 62F
9021 posts
9/7/2007 11:45 pm

Praise God for His lovingkindness, mercy, strength, hope and eternal salvation. Thanks so much for sharing such a painful past with us. He has led you through the darkness and into His light. Like the others, I believe your courage will witness to many. God bless you!


Italian_sister
(Pat I)
71F
1788 posts
9/7/2007 10:11 pm

Praise God that you are delivered! Thanks for having the courage to share your testimony. Pat


freee2shine 54F

9/7/2007 9:27 pm

Thx 777eli,
Actually your testimony and your comments were encouraging to me as i read on busykydads blog so thank you. And thank you for your comment that also is encouraging.

God bless you abundantly
Hayley xxx