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| Blogs > merry12 > Adventures in Merryland |
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:( Missing my Baby :( My youngest (Joey, age 13) went to live with his dad the first of July. It was a difficult decision, but I allowed him to because he was becoming increasingly difficult to handle. He did need a man's touch; I just hope his dad's touch is gentler than it used to be. Although they live only a few miles away, I rarely see Joey now. He goes to school in a different town, and spends many nights and weekends with his friends. He is supposed to spend 2 weekends a month with me, but he usually has plans that are much more exciting than spending time with mom. So I haven't pushed. But I think I need to, because I feel like I am losing touch with him. In his whole 13 years, we had rarely spent time apart from each other. After the divorce, he spent 3 weekends a month at his dad's house, but we were together every week night. We would visit until 11:00 p.m.; that was our "light's out" time. He made a game of talking to me until exactly 11 o'clock. But I loved having this closeness and conversation. Our relationship started to fall apart when a young girl moved in across the street. She has probably been sexually abused at some point (she lives with a mom and two siblings and all the have different fathers) because she is sexually very precocious. She fastened on Joey as the object of her affection. He was "twitterpated" to quote Thumper the rabbit from "Bambi." He started sneaking around, lying, using his friends and whatever ways he could to be with her. I was afraid for him, so I sent him to live with his dad. I understand how much he enjoys it there. Dad lives on a farm; Joe gets to drive trucks and tractors, go fishing and hunting, etc. and he is all boy--he loves it. He is playing football for the first time this year and loving that. So how does a Mom, who has little in the way of excitement to offer, keep her wanting to spend time with her? I spend my weekends resting much of the time, due to health issues. I am "boring." *Rolls eyes* Every once in a while, he runs in the door for a minute, gives me a hug and a kiss, and is gone again in the blink of an eye. That's about all the contact we've had since the first of July. He did spend one night, but the next day wanted to go on to his friend's house for the rest of the weekend. Well, pardon my rambling. Does anyone have any ideas on how an "old lady" can get her teenage to enjoy spending time with her at least one weekend a month?  Blessings, Merry Only the soul that knows the mighty grief can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy. ~Edwin Markham~ |
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hello merry, so sorry for your pain, i went through the same thing just the other side, i had a girl that wanted to be with her mother, so i know what you are going through. as far as the spending time, if he is all boy, then you may want to learn the outdoor stuff, fishing, camping etc, if you are near a sports park maybe he wants to go to sporting events, i know that shane loves the outdoor stuff, i am to old to play like i use to when i was younger but i find if i just take him there he has fun with the other kids so while that is boring for me he is happy with it so that makes me feel good, cheers May the Lord bless you and keep you
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9/24/2007 8:05 pm |
Love him and cook special things for him, he just loves you different, NOT less, cheerup Merry, Lots of love and hugs Leanne 
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9/25/2007 2:21 pm |
Everyone has awesome advice!! I am dealing with my soon to be 14 year old. I am fortunate that he still spends time with me, but there are those days where I am not nearly as important as his friends. Besides the fact that his dad is definently not someone on his "favorites" list!! I like to have "date Nights" with both boys on different occasions. When one is at a friends its time to spend alone with my other son. Making the time that you spend together with him memorable is what counts. Merry, just love him and make the time you do spend together fun. Let him know you would like to spend more time with him.
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10/10/2007 1:57 am |
Oh Merry i am so sorry, I know this is heart breaking.. there is only one way i know praying for all the boys your ex-husband included. In my prayers sweet Merry.
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10/11/2007 3:51 pm |
Kaz, thanks for your prayers too. How are you doing anyway? haven't heard/seen you for a while... Things are going very well, I have been busy, my son diagnosed Autistic (low end), but causing him problems accessing the curriculum and interacting with his peer group, so hands full as I have opted for special education, fighting the British school system, and home tutoring, as well as him having ADHD, it's all go, but honestly he is a great kid and this year I see God's hand truly moving people to act, HE is faithful to the last. And Lee is happier than i have seen him in a year, and thats a GREAT thing. My daughter is still the cute little precious sun beam, I've always known, made student council this year at 6 not bad going, she's quiet popular and out going. At least some-one has a social life under my roof..lol! Jim and I are going strong, I will say, as I am sure he won't mind, we are head over heels, 10 months ago a harmless flirtation and now I smile when perhaps I should not (funerals and such--kidding). I continue to have trials, life has it's way, but honestly my prayer life is really coming into fruition, words are powerful tools! The enemy has certainly tried to undermined me, yet I am not moving, I am walking dead here on this earth (at least working progress). Keep praying, praise through gritted teeth during the trials and spend time with the Father... My ironing is a form of worship to the Lord even, for i detest ironing so much, but doing it with my 'husband' is actually enjoyable...go figure. I took a break from my Children's ministry, as with Lee have a lot on my plate, still work with little ones friday morning, but not teaching sunday school right now, elders sat me down and said like Elijah it's time to rest in God. I have still been looking after my Grand-Mother but not as often now, so my schedule is letting up alittle. And I gave my first 'teaching' to women couple weeks ago, but it's not a regular thing, but God asked and they approached, he gave the word I was merely the mouth piece with a little piece of humour thrown in. I am known as the comic Christian...LOL So glad you asked...huh....my postings are few and far between and with little content...but your guys are always on my heart! lots of love your sister in Christ Kaz x
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10/28/2007 1:00 am |
Will do, must write you an email...LOL
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12/20/2007 6:07 pm |
faith
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12/23/2007 8:45 pm |
Have yourself a merry lil Christmas Merry, lots of love and hugs! 
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