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| Blogs > 1ladybabygirl > My Blog: Tell It LIke It Is |
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A Sad Moment I watch as the rubble is cleared away from where my husband's shop once stood. I wonder why it has to be this way, when once it was a happy place for him to be alone. I worry about what would go through his mind if he saw the spot; what he would be thinking. I wonder how he would feel inside...having no say about what is done with the contents. It's a sad moment for me to watch; it's a closure I never wanted to happen. |
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Sorry for your sadness but knowing that God can carry the pain for you when it is too much
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I love you both. God bless you for taking the time to comfort me. I know that God has got something better planned, and that He will ease my pain...the pain is momentary, I'm sure. And, it was a job that had to be done. I guess mostly I hope that my x doesn't find out from the older sons; I hope they honor him enough to not tell him...it won't help his depression to know about this; and there's nothing he can do about it...it can only cause him pain. God keep you both in His care & bless you for your care toward me. Karen
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11 I have set the Lord always before me, Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Phalm 16:8. Heavenly Father, wrap your loving arms around Karen and let her feel your loving touch, as she feels your healing hands easing her pain, comfort her and guide her, give her strength to do as you would have her do, Father we beleive that you glory will be seen in her life in Jesus name Amen God Bless You
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Jeff, thanks for being bold enough to just ask...I'm pleased to answer you. My husband is not dead. He is alive in body, but my oldest son tells me that he is so depressed that he talks about suicide all of the time. My second son tells his younger brothers that he no longer enjoys going to see his dad because all he does is talk bad about me...thus my son comes to my house for love & fellowship with family...for hope that some of our family is still intact under God's direction, and it is. My husband and I were blessed with 10 sons; I had prayed for one because I didn't know at the time that God was so bountiful when He answers a prayer that He delights to answer. So without asking me he poured on the sons.  I got married when I was 17 years old, and lived with my husband for over 26 years. In December 2001, something went haywire with him, and he began to believe that it was God's will to kill me: In his mind, I was to die and he was to have someone to replace me since he deemed me evil, and doomed me to hell. Thank God that mankind has no say about that! After what people would call "hell on earth" with him for 2 years and 4 months, God took him out of the house. The man abandoned me with the 6 younger sons, and set out to destroy the close relationship between me and my older 4 sons, AND to destroy our family, and my name in town. I can't explain his fierce and perfect hatred toward me, because he refused to tell me what my "sins" were...the ones he said were the reason for me being doomed to hell already, and saying that I wasn't God's child anymore and that even God didn't want me anymore. God delivered me and my sons from his the torture of his hands. I'm alive because of it. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask. Karen
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7/1/2006 11:59 am |
Sorry, Karen, for your sadness. God has a new life planned for you. God Bless
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7/12/2006 7:33 pm |
Wow. So much has happened that could make you decide to become bitter. It seems clear that is not the choice you have made. I think I will return to your blog. It is no "accident" that I came across your delightful words. I can't even start to apprehend all the thoughts evoked. Thank you for writing your experiences. Prayers will result in the reading of this blog. ibike
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God bless you with His riches in Glory by Christ Jesus. Amen. Karen
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Thanks sis. Yes 10 boys (8 pregnancies), all by one man & all by natural childbirth. I'll accept a baby girl if God chooses to give me one, but I do enjoy my boys. I prayed for a son, and God multiplied my prayer. If I pray for a girl...well...  Somehow I think 10 girls would be harder to handle than 10 boys. Boys are tough, and they get a kick out of roughin' it, which works out pretty well for me since I have a pioneering spirit. The man I married is not out of his psychosis yet...his sisters won't allow him to be; one in particular loves control. I was told recently that they had been talking to him during the time he had been so cruel to me & the 6 youngest sons, and doing damage in my 4 oldest boys. I was told by a counselor that he sounds schizophrenic; I'm not sure what it is, but I know he is tormented still and believes that he is the one in the family that is right with God. He still prays for my death, and still seeks to have the younger children put in foster homes without a cause. In short, he doesn't get help mostly because his sisters (especially the controlling one> Rachel) won't let him. They made him promise to never take me back, and to never talk to me at all...and he obeys them. I honestly can't figure out what he believes he's getting out of this. I heard just the other day that he is about to be homeless. I wept as the Holy Spirit laid his heart, and the compassion of the Lord on mine. I then picked up the phone and talked to my older sons and said I will go out on a limb and find a place for him on my farm IF he will behave himself, and IF there's no one else to help him...I can't stand by and watch them dump him after what they've done to his life, and do nothing. If no one else will help, I have to; because I believe he is sick and needs to be taken care of, and they've done nothing but make him defenseless...YES, I will fight for him when they raise their hand to utterly destroy him...and my younger boys are reluctantly in agreement, but agree none-the-less. Yes, terror has been a part of my life, but peace is stronger now. I love ya sis, Karen
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