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True confessions of the battered Grabbing a knife from the drawer my wife threatened me with it. Punching her stomach, she cried out "I don't want this baby." The punching and hitting; biting and scratching finally took their toll on me. I went to the emergency room with anxiety attacks and severe depression. After staying with some friends an feeling pressured to go back into the marriage I went back. Only this time to be totally ignored and put down. Now I'm on my own again, at times depression haunts me; sleep does not come easily and I still struggle with anxiety. Yet, I am making slow progress getting back on my feet. Stumbling at times, falling on my knees often in prayer. It's funny, I was commenting the other day to a friend. "social workers sure know how to handle other peoples problems, but its so hard for us to handle our own." So, you may ask, "What brought this true confession on?" When someone else shares their pain in a setting such as this, it brings up these issues. I noticed there was a recent post about domestic violence and again it brought all the raw feelings that go with that to the forefront of my thinking. The pain and emptiness I feel at times lingers within me. I don't know all the answers, but I do know the One who has. The fact is, I'm sometimes my own worst enemy, when I don't seek the Lord for these answers. I don't know if its the depression or anxiety that stops me, but I know I don't seek the Lord enough. Oh Lord help me to see beyond the fog bank of depression to the "Sonlight" of your love. Amen |
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12/22/2005 8:15 pm |
Thank You for sharing Brother. You are not alone. In His Steps Anthony
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1/2/2006 5:37 pm |
God bless you through this time...and beyond fyi: there are some people that are so wrapped up in themselves, they are very destructive and warped...and bad to be with. "'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' "Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 sad news: you are NOT the only one good news: God KNEW you would go through this valley and He trusts you with the responsibility of coming to Him with everything...and the beauty of the fruit of your life. You are not a failure you're beautiful and God CHERISHES you..
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Thank you for sharing. I was where you are several years ago and your words brought back the memories of how it felt. I was in a similar situation and thank God that He stood with me through all my pain (although at the time I didn't realize His presence). God has used the circumstances of my life to grow me and has allowed me to help others who have experienced a lot of the same things I did. I have heard it said....God doesn't waste a hurt. God's got plans for you my friend, and they are awesome. Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good, and not evil.....God's plans! There is hope, hang in there. Stand on God's promises and not Satan's lies.
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1/3/2006 9:29 am |
[quote]God doesn't waste a hurt[/quote] I stand with Savanna on this.. [quote]Stand on God's promises and not Satan's lies.[/quote]
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