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(Dennis Thompson)
1709 posts
4/8/2006 8:38 am

Last Read:
4/12/2006 5:36 pm

Should You marry someone you arent attracted to?

Should you Marry someone you arent attracted to? My opinion is no. I dont believe God has half of a package for you. A marriage isnt supposed to least in my opinion be about a ministry but rather a marriage that produces honor to God and there will be ministry in that. Intimacy in Love making is the deepest of intimacy between two people. Could you marry someone knowing they werent attracted to you or you arent to them. What would be on your mind in times of intimacy?
Yes I could
No I could not
I could but deep down it would bother me

Robyn2006 55F

4/8/2006 10:56 am

Call me shallow but I could not do it. It would be unfair to everyone involved. Everyone deserves to be loved and adored and made to feel special. If you are not attracted to someone there is no way you can fulfill that base need for them to feel sexually exciting and needed. If you have married someone and can not provide for that fulfillment then you are standing in the way of them finding a total package love and its out there for each of us. Sometimes we need to quit looking so hard to find it. Make sense?

(William Watson)
18097 posts
4/8/2006 11:32 am

why would you want to marry someone you or anyone is not attracted to, to me you cannot grow as one if you are not even starting on the same page. anyway thanks for the post and by the way happy birthday brother, may God continue to richly bless you, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you

hopesallthings 68F

4/8/2006 12:00 pm

There are several people that when I first met them, i didn't see anything special about them. Then they started to talk to me and I really like them. I was married to a person who thought I was beautiful. Unfortunately he didn't love me. No, I don't think physical attraction is important. In 20 years are you still going to find your wife attractive?

(Jean Sanders)

4/8/2006 12:58 pm

I could not. I don't need bells and whistles. I don't need thunder and lightning. However, I do need to like what I see when I look across the breakfast table. That does not mean that the man needs to look like Denzel or Brad. He just needs to look good to me. Thanks for asking!

FaithGirl4Him 67F

4/8/2006 1:15 pm

It would not be wise because you gotta be there for the long run and the enemy would come along and attempt to snare you with others trying to take you away from your spouse. You have to have that mutual attraction to make it stick I think. This is my opinion, anyway.

Seranade 58F

4/8/2006 1:26 pm


Hope you have a wonderful day my friend .....

I could never marry someone I was not attracted to.....

michllord 61M

4/8/2006 5:03 pm

If the Lord tells both people to get married, then that is what needs to be done. Attraction and love grow from commitment. Arranged marriages were normal until the romantic age. I would say that there is no problem with it. It may not be the norm, but it bears consideration.

Mom4Jesus 56F

4/8/2006 7:55 pm

no way
and ungh ungh!


mutual attraction is a MUST

even if blind, I would have to be attracted to the feel of him
his voice
his kisses would have to touch my core...

and if he weren't attracted to ME, I would feel AWFUL!


it would be boring and dead
a boring marriage of convenience
and I would rather be alone than USE someone in that way

but then, that's me
and my opinion alone

be blessed,

ArtisticLady 60F

4/8/2006 9:15 pm

Hi Tropical Guy Good question

Today it's about love and looks. There was a time were that was not the highest priority in getting married. Women wanted a husband who could provide for them and their children. Men wanted a women who would bare them many children. Girls and boys had a value on their worth, men for tilling the land and women for baring children. Now we seek after love if not the same love that Christ has for us.... unconditional love. We seek after physical attraction today as well not realizing the person who was attracted to us today might not be attracted to us in our old age and many of people have divorce their mate for that very reason. Many people fall out of love the moment the looks go because they don't feel the person excites them anymore...this does not just happens in the secular world..Christian's do it too.

It is all about physical attraction and emotional love that is promoted in this world and Christian's have gotten caught up in it. The Secular world and even Christian's have gotten divorce because the fire(looks/body image) went out in there marriage along time ago and some will use the latest psychobabble or even scripture to justify divorcing their partner of many years or even a few short years of marriage. It is sad.

Better not put all your eggs (physical attraction and emotional love) in the same basket because the person you got excited about and lite your world on fire mite be the one rejecting you a few years from now based on their reasoning that your looks don't do it for them anymore. And the person you rejected today mite be your saving grace tomorrow because now their the ones excepting you base not on your current looks(pot belly, wrinkles, crows feet, bald or balding, arthritic body, deem eye sight, skin discoloration, age spots, varicose veins, cellulite butt, second chin, dark circles, moles, over weight body...etc) but your personality.

There is nothing wrong with physical beauty but buyer beware the package you have just married mite not look so good inside were it really counts especially if the marriage is going to last after your body has lost it's gravity.


ProdicalSon1963 61M

4/8/2006 9:39 pm

Yes, I think all the attractive ladies should quit being superficial and email me!

Godsgrayce 53F

4/8/2006 10:21 pm

I could never marry someone who wasn't attracted to me and vice versa. Physical intimacy is a huge part of marriage, for me, and if you're not attracted, well, you could force it, but why? Also, attraction does grow and diminish as we get to know people - everyone knows beautiful people that act ugly and that just makes them less beautiful, and maybe not so attractive people that once you get to know them seem a lot cuter.
I agree with most everything written in this blog so far. Most don't need to have the BEST looking person in the room by their side, only the best to them. That's what I'm looking for.
Oh, and Jean, after how Brad has been acting lately - he's looking pretty

Isaiah1975 48M

4/10/2006 6:31 pm

My answer would be yes and no, it depends on the persons involved.
True love is comitment, take the apostle paul for example, he didn't marry because he was fully comitted to God, now thats love. But then some are not spirtualy strong enough or perhaps spiritualy disaplined enough in there walk with God and need love and support from a husband or wife and thats fine, after all God himself said that it is not good that man should be alone.
What I am trying to say is that if a man and woman are not attracted to eachother but they like paul are about comitment and have not based there marrige on carnal needs, (there walk with god would have to be strong) then that would be fine for them, as ArtisticLady pointed out comitment not just physical attration was more the norm back then. But for myself and im sure many others I would need to be attracted to her, or course she wouldn't have to be supermodel status, but to like what I see.
Attraction can also grow, before I turned to God I was in a relationship, she wasn't the prittyest girl but was attractive to me, but as I got to love her person, she became more attractive to me than other woman that if based on just looks I would have thought were more attractive.

Isaiah1975 48M

4/11/2006 6:46 am

1 Corinthians 7:8 "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried as I am."

(Darla W)
37 posts
4/11/2006 6:18 pm

I don't think the question was about physical attraction, the question is "Should you marry someone you are not attracted to?" Being attracted to someone doesn't mean they are an attractive person. I have met some guys, over the last year, that didn't turn my head at first glance but after meeting them I could see something in them that attracted me to them. However they didn't have the look that I prefer but I could easly be attracted to them just because of the kind of person that they are.

(Darla W)
37 posts
4/11/2006 6:21 pm

Tropical Guy, I like what you said, "A marriage isnt supposed to be about a ministry but rather a marriage that produces honor to God and there will be ministry in that." This is so true. Marriage is a product of creation while ministry is a product of the fall. Good poll.