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dont be yoked to unbelievers.. this dear abby column I found is an example of why we don't marry unbelievers. it is written from the unbeliever side of the story and the gal is an atheist married to a christen but it shows the issues, I doubt this marriage will last.and for the record I do not agree with Abbys advice but she is liberal... I was involved with an unbeliever for 7 years, I finally had to end the relationship when God drew me back to Him but the bf wasn't called..... sad situation..be careful who u get involved with and their beliefs, there HAS to be compability in this area or it will NOT work over the long haul. . .. . .... . ... .. DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my husband, "Scott," started attending church. He had never gone in the few years we dated. We discussed our feelings about religion before we became engaged. He comes from a family that attended church every Sunday and believes in God. I was raised the exact opposite; I'm an atheist. I told Scott that if we had , I would be OK with him taking them to church, but I would not join them. It bothered him a little, but we talked it over and moved on. After a difficult year that led to some mild depression (for which Scott sought help), he started going to church. I was happy for him because it seemed to help him. After a few weeks he asked me to go with him. I went several times, but felt uncomfortable. I feel like a fraud sitting in the pew. Scott says he "wants my support" and that means attending with him. I suspect he's embarrassed to be there without his wife. I do not enjoy it. I have been offended by some of the messages that were imparted, and I would prefer having a couple of hours to myself on Sundays. Abby, what should I do? Is there any middle ground here? -- FEELING COERCED IN SAN DIEGO DEAR FEELING COERCED: Tell Scott that you are happy he has found comfort in going to church, but that you are not comfortable with what is being preached and find some of it offensive. Remind him that church attendance was not part of your agreement when you married him and that you value your solitary time at home the same way he appreciates the service. |
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"Scott" - totally dropped the ball as a (his wife's description) believer of God. He should have turned away from his fleshly desires, and never married someone whom he knew was the complete opposite of how he was raised to be. "Coerced" - feels uncomfortable in church just as much as a follower of Christ would feel uncomfortable at a gay rights demonstration. From a spiritual perspective, she's feeling convicted of her sinful nature and doesn't want to hear of the things that she's doing wrong in her life, which is why she chooses to run instead of repent. "Abby" - the advice for "Coerced" to tell her husband "Scott" that she feels uncomfortable being (perhaps in how she feels) forced to go to church with him is a good one. He needs to know that she's not being genuine, and only was going for his sake. However the recommendation of "Abby" telling "Coerced" to reveal to her husband that what was being preached offended her was unnecessary and in turn actually attacks and has the potential to offend "Scott" and what he believes in. While the intentions of "Abby" might be good, she's giving advice to a person that she's never met, and is judging it all from just a few small paragraphs. It's akin to an auto mechanic giving advice on how to perform brain surgery simply because she once saw a 60 minute program on it. And this is just the side of "Coerced" being told here, and it's unlikely that the side from "Scott" will make it's way here. Regardless of that fact, the two of them (minus the advice of "Abby") need to sit down together and REALLY discuss where each of their boundaries are concerning this matter, preferably before they have children. "Scott" can chose to stay with his wife without forcing her to go to church with him, and continue in prayer that the life he leads and the light of the Lord within him will someday convince his wife to take a less biased and cloudy look at what she deems offensive. My take out of all of this is, "Dear Abby's" advice is generalized at best, and is as unhelpful as that of a palm reader or psychic. 
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man, all you old hens have a pecking party and you din't even invite me. both my wives were believers, but i don't think that helped. 
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thEn is an adverb of sequence indicating what transpires next. thAn is what is used for comparisons
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i know you are, but what am i?
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