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RockyG666 62M
1950 posts
10/18/2017 8:30 am

Last Read:
10/28/2017 6:41 am

celebrate recovery (CR)

I have been going to celebrate recovery (the church’s answer to AA) for more than a year now. I am a “leader” there and I believe it is part of my own ministry. It is supposed to be anonymous, so I will TRY to talk bout my OWN feelings. Lately I have had a rotten attitude. I told another member last night that I was SICK of hearing him talk. I only said that because he confronted me at a time when I was REALLY sick of hearing him. He tends to go on and on and on. I really appreciate that he kind of keeps things moving, because I am kind of a dead beat, but he NEVER shuts up. I thought about this all night, and I think that I need to have a talk with this person, and explain that we are not there just to hear ourselves’ talk, rather we are there to help others.

A LOT of other members tend to talk TOO much. But this person fancies hisself as a leader. I say “fancy” because he is NOT a leader, yet he tends to take over the meeting constantly. He talks WAY more than anyone else, and he is TOTALLY irrelevant, although he thinks he is fantastic. We have a timer and he ALWAYS goes beyond his timed spot anyway, and he usually will speak in the larger group (too MUCH) before we get to the smaller group to share. It makes me nuts(er). I will try to talk to him privately, before the small group share to try to explain this. I will TRY to encourage him and say all sorts of positive things when I talk to him. But I feel that he HAS to stop taking over the meeting.

This is a weekly meeting, so I have all week to wait to confront this person, but I am thinking (too much) on it now. Did I remember to mention that I have a rotten attitude lately?


RockyG666 62M
1357 posts
10/19/2017 6:41 pm

I sent this post in an email to the other leaders at cr, and also copied the person it is about.

that was probably not a good idea. so far I haven't heard back from that guy.


RockyG666 62M
1357 posts
10/20/2017 6:35 pm

that is the best advice you have given me so far


Sojourner06 58M
1768 posts
10/23/2017 12:58 am

Hi Rocky.

Reading what's written until now makes me start thinking what's the reason for people to start drinking AND what's the reason for their behavior.
A friend of mine has an education and a job where he meets a lot of people with problems including alcoholics and former alcoholics. He tells that years of alcohol and drug abuse destroys part of the brain and also destroys some social skills.

Besides that I wonder if quite some alcoholics suffer from low self-esteem and alike. So they need to feel accepted; a part of the social community - to feel they get heard.
So talking loud for being heard, and saying something whenever they get a chance.

I've learned it's easier to make lasting waves with the waves than against the waves. If you make splashes against the stream they won't last long. But with the stream they become waves of the waves.
Going against the stream of words will only make that person make more noise. And grab evenmore opportunities for saying something and to seek confirmation of being a part of the social community.

Give him a feeling of being seen and accepted. Loved. That doesn't mean he is to behave as usual. But it means you give him your attention and respect in a good and positive way.
Maybe this is your way of being a part of mission. Gods mission. The outreach.

And it's always easier to accept guidance and to be told we do wrong by the ones who loves us and care for us, than from strangers.

Blessings



Mogens

I Can Explain It To You, But I Can’t Understand It For You

Good News For Christian Man ABP

"REVELATION"


RockyG666 62M
1357 posts
10/23/2017 6:57 am

hi bliss,

I do NOT dislike you, per se. you SCARE me, I have written the other leaders about this guy (in email) and really not heard back. I also copied the person in question, and he has (somehow) NOT answered back.

hi sojo,

I can not talk about my addictions online, that would be yet another reason to have self esteem issues. I am VERY grateful that through Christ I have been able to defeat them. I have been THREE years clean & sober.


Sojourner06 58M
1768 posts
10/24/2017 1:51 am

Now it's not a question of talking about your former addiction nor his.

I wrote you a point of view and some experience of mine. For you to take and use or leave behind.
You are the one to take your decisions in your life. Not others. Not I.
And you are also the one to take responsibility of the outcome of those decisions. If you fail you failed. If you succeed you succeed.

Adam blamed Eve - and God - for his decision of eating the fruit. His own choice.

Even if we listen to the advice of others and follow that advice we are still the ones who chose to follow that advice. So we are the only ones we can blame.

It's the Gospel all over again.

Blessings



Mogens

I Can Explain It To You, But I Can’t Understand It For You

Good News For Christian Man ABP

"REVELATION"


RockyG666 62M
1357 posts
10/24/2017 7:08 am

I am sorry for your physical challenges bliss, but they have NOTHING to do with why I am scared of you. I am scared of you because you are NOT who you profess to be. may god bless you.


RockyG666 62M
1357 posts
10/24/2017 2:53 pm

I KNOW who I am. I am an ex-convict (according to you). now LEAVE me alone, PLEASE. god bless