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RockyG666 63M
1750 posts
10/18/2013 9:31 am

Last Read:
10/20/2013 8:49 pm

pot head

my name is rockyg and i am a potaholic. i am doing bongs right now.

i have been a chronic reefer feind for most of my life. i guess i first started around 12, the summer before high school. i peddled to support my habit and done many other things i am not proud of. i probably smoked daily, repeatedly all day every day, since i was 14.

i don't know if i believe there is something inheriently sinful about pot itself, but with the guidance of the friendly ghost i have come to believe that it is sinful for me. the obsessive way in which i need it, and let it come before other more important things in my life is a problem. especially when i was still raising my , it effected our finances and my mental attention span with my . although, sometimes it helped that too.

anyways, with the strength of the lord, i quit smoking pot 8 years ago. it was really hard, and there was never a day when i did not wish i had some. i had quit smoking cigarettes 2 years before that, and pot was harder. much harder. in fact, i had used pot to help me quit smoking cigarettes.

this is all set up to confess that i have started smoking pot again. i usually will smoke a little on my birthday in the summer, which is the only time i fell off the wagon over the 8 years dry. well, this year kind of got out of hand and i bought some. then i kind of just kept buying some more. i have tried to moderate my use, but anyone that is an addict knows what a joke that is.

so here am i right where i was 8 years ago. actually a lot worse. i don't have the anymore, and money isn't really an issue. also, i am a loose cannon and not really accountable to anybody but god.

god has been cool about it so far. i have been praying for strength again, but deep down i don't really have will to do it. i have woken up and quit 100 times, but was smoking by lunch. it doesn't interfere with my life, or with my relationship with god...yet. the only thing is that it is a kind of idol to me and that is really bad.

ok. i feel better getting that out. now don't tell anyone.


RockyG666 63M
1357 posts
10/18/2013 8:53 pm

haha. i am sorry pete. i haven't been around, it has been dead in there.


ladylightwalker

10/19/2013 1:12 pm

Praying for you Rocky. You quit once with God's help. You and God can do it again. It's the only thing that really helps my pain, but I abuse it too, so am staying away from it.



"Love is Patient..."


RockyG666 63M
1357 posts
10/19/2013 2:16 pm

oh, don't pray for me. then i feel worse for being so weak


ladylightwalker

10/19/2013 8:20 pm

You're funny.



"Love is Patient..."