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| Blogs > RockyG666 > god's servant's blog |
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hell no things have kind of gone slightly awry with my seminary education. i completed all but 1/2 credit hours of my required classes. it was an independant study on songwriting (yeah) and we were supposed to finish over the summer, but the professor ran out of time and had to leave town for a while. so i am asking the university to cut me some slack and give me the full credit. however, there is a matter also of additinal internship they want me to serve. i have served a bunch of internship and feild ed stuff, but they still want more. i am working here at gods garage, and i still volunteer at my church's shelter every week and i really don't need to play house like that. this is a program meant to introduce younger people to service in the lord. it doesn't make sense to keep making me do it, so i have said "no thanks." they haven't told me yet what their decision will be, but i figure i don't care. the main reason i came to seminary was because i prayed about what i wanted to do, and god told me i had no foundation. now i have the foundation. it would be nice to get the accredidation too, but kay sarah  it has been 4 long years and it is really great to have it completely off my plate. i don't really need the degree. i had a lot of health problems, some due to the stress of school, and i got on disability. so i don't have to worry about looking for a job or anything. and god's garage is mine free and clear so i don't need any kind of accrediation to run it. i can still say that i finished seminary, and that is good enough. i keep telling myself i am making a mountain out of a mole, but the truth is that i REALLY need to walk away from this. at least for a while. it has been my WHOLE life for the last 4 years. EVERYTHING else has taken a back seat, including and especially me. i have not dated for 4 years, gone out partying for a few nights, bought myself anything expensive, or MANY other things i need to be doing for me. PLUS, i need to be investing all the time and energy i was putting into school into this church. We have been open for a solid year and i have not really been pushing it the way i want to. i think it is ok if i sit it out. i think eventually they will give me my degree. i don't really care if they ordain me. in fact, i am thinking it might be better to not be ordained. there are a lot of things about the denom that runs my seminary that i don't really agree with. if i am officially "in," i will have to deal with it. right now, NOBODY tells me what to do except god. 
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pete, it is not good to live here if you have limited mobility. it gets REALLY cold even though we haven't had much snow lately. i actually do not want to preach preach. i just want to be a sanctuary in the middle of the city and welcome people in. i actually might like to get someone who wants to preach and have a regular service. but probly like wednesday night or something, i like the sunday church i go to. that is another reason the seminary would be dumb to not show me some grace. this is a reasonable estableshment and i could use thier help and vice verca. i could let interns serve here. it is just mindless forcing me to serve any more internship given my age and situation. to tell true, i really do not like the way the internship and field ed stuff worked so far. i had to fill out 'ministry encounters' and talk all about everything i did serving someone. in some ways, that was really helpful and got me to think about many things i probably wood never have thought of. but after 2 or 3, it got to be feeling invasive. as if i were somehow violating confidences. and also, then i was always in 'ministry encounter' mode and looking for good report stuff rather than really "in" the moment like i should be. there is my health too. my dr. has commented on my improvement in the last month since i decided it was over even if they didn't agree yet. it isn't critical, but it is noticable and i don't need that stress at all anymore. to hell with it
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freebird, it is NOTHING like your situation. i am cool. petey, kids are good. how are you? i think i pitched in for a wheelchair for you a few years ago? my email is rockyg at rockyg . cee oh emm.
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