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Is Your Family And LIfe Functional Or Dysfunctional? Our childhood is brief but its effects can be life long. Study shows that a functioning family creates balance and control in the lives of people. As we are so vulnerable and sensitive to family interactions. A functioning family is flexible, warm, supportive, respectful, and this will communicate the following to : 1. You are a good and worthy person. 2. you can be loved as you are. 3. Your needs can be met in your relationships with others. 4. Your most important need is a balance of needs. A dysfunctional family is rigid, cold, abandoning, physical or emotional abusive and this will communicate the following to : l. You are bad and unworthy as a person. 2. You can not be loved as you are. 3. You can not depend on others to meet your needs. 4. Your most important need is excess of needs. Functional families help to make balanced people. Dysfunctional families lead to imbalances in people. Perhaps few, if any of us, grew up in a very functional family. So we grow up with various imbalances in our life. I like the picture of our life as a person sitting in a row boat and centered in the middle, not too far to the front or back, and not too far right or left. This middle position balances our life boat. Far forward is too much spirituality, far back is too much physicality, far right is too charitable, far left is too critical, judgmental. Our imbalances can result in addictive behaviors in food, gambling, alcohol, pleasure, and pride. We can help our self by moving back from any far position toward a balancing middle. We need to do this in prayer. The devil tries to imbalance us. Resisting his temptations and in prayer move toward a middle balance, we can make progress to become more functional. Quiet family neighborhood in San Diego. 
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1/27/2012 1:40 pm |
Beautiful Picture--San Diego is lovely!!!
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Yes, all in moderation. The problem is how to get there. First I believe we need to know the truth of where moderation is. For example with all physical addictions, like food, alcohol, pleasure, the problem is we are so focused on the physical that the other end of our life boat is up in the air, so we need to focus on spiritual to bring balance back into our life. I believe people fight the addiction directly and struggle endlessly with imbalance. Too much judgment and critical communication unbalances us on the left weakening our love capacity. To redress this imbalance we need to focus less on critical, pruning, cutting off excess and more on love, support and caring. Jesus is the best example of someone in perfect balance. He was spiritual, physical, loving, and critical. I believe much of our anxiety is due to an imbalance by being too little focused on trust and too much worry about the physical world in which we live.
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Beautiful Picture--San Diego is lovely!!!
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The Love of Jesus makes us functional again. Those few early years are so formative. They seem to affect who are are, who we marry, what we do, where we go, and it lasts a lifetime. WE can overcome, but scars and echos are still there. Great response, and thanks.
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Also Terrie I believe that a functional Big Church will result in helping Christians here to become individually functional as said above: 1. You are a good and worthy person. 2. you can be loved as you are. 3. Your needs can be met in your relationships with others. 4. Your most important need is a balance of needs. And likewise, a bickering, judging, abusive Big Church will damage Christians here and lead them toward dysfunctional as above: l. You are bad and unworthy as a person. 2. You can not be loved as you are. 3. You can not depend on others to meet your needs. 4. Your most important need is excess of needs. Jesus would be repulsed by this dysfunctional attitude. I believe that people sometimes need to go through this growth stage, but we will all be better off as soon as they do. This attitude is worldly and not worthy of the Church. Where is the Love of Jesus in this? It is simply not there.
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My whole life was changed when I finally discovered that the very essence of God's heart was to love all. It was the kind of love that impressed me so much. It was a love that is more than a family love, or brother and sister, it was exactly what a person needs kind of love, what is always in a person's best interest. As humans, we are not capable yet of this, but He said that now our purpose in life is to grow up also in our life to do this as well, and remembering that as we have freely received, freely give. So then, heaven becomes more than beautiful surroundings. It becomes restored profound relationships with Him as the center and source of it all.
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