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Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
20503 posts
4/13/2009 2:47 pm

Last Read:
4/15/2009 5:58 am

It Is The Start Of Another Tornado Season


Tornado season is upon us again, so here is a glossary of tornado terms you may want to familiarize yourself with:

Fujita Scale: Scale used to measure wind speeds of a tornado and their severity.
F1: Laughable little string of wind unless it comes through your house, then enough to make your insurance company drop you like a brick. People enjoy standing on their porches to watch this kind.
F2: Strong enough to blow your car into your house, unless of course you drive an Expedition and live in a mobile home, then strong enough to blow your house into your car.
F3: Will pick your house and your Expedition up and move you to the other side of town.
F4: Usually ranging from 1/2 to a full mile wide, this tornado can turn a bus into a Pinto, then gift wrap it in a semi truck. F5: The Mother of all Tornadoes, you might as well stand on your front porch and watch it, because it's probably going to be quite a last sight.

Meteorologist: A rather soft-spoken, mild-mannered type person until severe weather strikes, and they start yelling at you through the t.v.: "GET TO YOUR BATHROOM OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"
Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do.

Tranquilizer: What you have to give any or cat, who lived through a previous tornado, every time it storms, or they tear your whole house up freaking out.

Bathtub: Best place to seek shelter in the middle of a tornado, mostly because after you're covered with debris, you can quickly wash off and come out looking great!

Severe Weather Radio: A handy device that sends out messages from the National Weather Service during a storm, though quite disconcerting because the high pitched, shrill noise it uses as an alarm sounds suspiciously just like a tornado.

Tornado Siren: A system the city spent millions to install, which is really useful, unless there's a storm or a tornado.

Storm Cellar: A great place to go during a tornado, as it is almost 100% safe, though weigh your options carefully, as most are not cared for and are homes to rats and snakes.

May-June: Tourist season, when people who are tired of bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end as Storm Chasers.

Barometric Pressure: Nobody really knows what this is, but when it drops a lot of pregnant women go into labor, which makes for exciting moments as their husbands are trying to drive them to the hospital while dodging tornadoes.

Cars: The worst place on earth to be during a tornado, ( except for mobile home ). Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car... Unless your towing a moblie home.

A Ditch: Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20 ton truck and up root a three hundred year old tree, I'd bet my life on out-running it in a car.

May the Lord bless you and keep you


savedphyli 67F

4/13/2009 7:00 pm

I am ready for tornado season. Got my severe weather radio, flashlights and batteries. Maybe I'll be seeing you in your state!


If you don't know me you haven't missed much - but if you don't know Jesus you've missed everything!!


Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
18097 posts
4/13/2009 7:40 pm

just avoid the hurricanes phyli, hahahaha, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you


elijahmessage 50M

4/13/2009 9:31 pm

Sure is that time of year to be ready to head to the celler.


Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
18097 posts
4/14/2009 2:23 pm

hello elijah, thanks for stopping by, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you


Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
18097 posts
4/14/2009 5:25 pm

have to have it joy, i live in the middle of the hurricanes, hahahaha, when it is my time nothing i can do about it anyway, hahahaha, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you


Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
18097 posts
4/14/2009 8:02 pm

hello pete, thanks for stopping by and sharing brother, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you


Hisglory77
(Byron )
64M

4/14/2009 11:15 pm

Boy don't let the mobile home park industry see this post. Excuse me, they are now properly called Manufactured Housing Communities.

A few years ago, when my city was considering a local ordanence regarding storm shelters in mobile home parks, the owners of one of those new fancy parks came and told our city council that modern mobile homes are built so well that they can now withstand tornadoes, and therefore there is no reason for storm shelters.

I attended the next council meeting with a picture book of the now infamous Andover Ks. tornado from a few years ago which showed over 80% of a huge manufactured home community of over 500 units that became rubble in just a few seconds. Yet the only loss of life were a couple people that didn't make it to the park provided shelters in time.
Since then there's been no more claims from owners of mobile home parks about their homes being able to withstand a tornado.

Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.


Dundeal
(William Watson)
67M
18097 posts
4/15/2009 5:58 am

hello byron, thanks for sharing, same thing with hurricanes down in florida and i see a lot of trailer parks and wonder how or why they choose to live in there with all the statistics, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you