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(William Watson)
20503 posts
4/1/2009 4:59 pm

Last Read:
4/2/2009 2:20 pm

Signs That You Drink Too Much Coffee

You answer the door before people knock.
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
You ski uphill.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
You can type sixty words per minute ... With your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
Cocaine is a downer.
You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
Instant coffee takes too long.
When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
You don't tan, you roast.
You can't even remember your second cup.
You help your chase its tail.

May the Lord bless you and keep you

(William Watson)
18097 posts
4/1/2009 7:14 pm

well i started late in life drinking coffee but do so all the time now, hahahaha, not sure if i am this bad yet though, hahaha, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you

pricelessjoy 73F
5916 posts
4/2/2009 6:42 am

LOL! I think I am getting close to this! My doctor keeps telling me to drink low acid coffee. Low acid coffee??!!! WHAT!!??? I want MY COFFEE to be the real stuff.

May God Bless You in ABUNDANCE

(William Watson)
18097 posts
4/2/2009 2:20 pm

you and me both joy, what the heck is low acid coffee, hahahaha, cheers

May the Lord bless you and keep you