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| Blogs > Gordy505 > For what it's worth |
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Addendum to "losing my faith"... I stole this from that post-  made a new thread out of it. Yeah. I'm a thief and brigand I suppose. Copied with permission  If I may add an aside here, a description/mind picture of a sort, it may lead to a glimpse at something to use as a touchstone for our understanding of the Father- somewhat more than just "faith". Besides... it's my blog. I can post mind pictures if I want to. It came to me some time back while thinking about "closer to God" that no matter what I do- or think, He has a better idea. We do have questions, we do have real needs "to discover" and we do have minds that come up with imaginary "pictures" that entertain and inform us. Sometimes those "imaginary pictures" are far more than simple entertainment. At any rate, Imagine God is a swimming pool. Huh? you might say... bear wih me for a bit. I'm just a little fish- you may eat me later if you like. The image that came to mind was of simple concrete, unpainted, size unknown. Mostly like what we know as a simple unadorned- no fancy stuff- swimming pool. The "movie" if you will, began with me, age unknown as I didn't "see myself" but things around me, standing on the deck, (also concrete gray and unadorned) looking into the water- clear, clean, calm yet with smallish waves/ripples as is normal in pools of any size. I recall having much apprehension towards jumping or diving in since it simply wasn't my pool, and I didn't know whom to ask for permission, didn't have right attire for swimming and nothing to dry off with etc etc etc after re emerging- all sorts of reasons and excuses for not getting wet. And then the sound track on this movie came into hearing range- all silence, and then simple easy words- masculine voice- rich in deep resonance and producing a calming effect. In essence- "what are you waiting for- it's quite ok- simply enter and enjoy". So I thought about it for a further moment, recieved that permission as valid, and gleefully jumped in. I can swim. No problem! I thought. But I didn't float as usual. As a human, panic set in since I KNOW what water is going to do to me- since above water is our rightful place, and below water in a place we can't survive in. (insert your own dialog with drowning as it's subject ) No reply from the voice, no lifeguard came to the rescue, just me- ever so slowly descending toward what had to be the bottom of the pool. I knew it was already over. The decision to jump it was irreversible. I'm able to swim but not "up" - side to side, towards the side or away- but not back to the surface. Surely- I am about to die... surely no one will find me until far after that fact, and surely, I must be the sorriest man ever- to have been this stupid. Still descending- I saw what was an opening, rather good size- rectangular and there were a few people there inside what appeared to be a room underwater where there should be no one alive, yet they were, and seemed to be doing ok. So I looked down as I was passing, and saw another opening a bit further down. I knew rising back up was not happening before, so I determined to enter that next opening. But the movie changed- I was further away from the wall, looking down and saw many openings each the same size, and evenly spaced. I could detect no "bottom"- but many places of what seemed as refuges from this utterly dangerous descent. Then back close to the side- I entered that next opening, where I found one person. Somehow we were able to converse freely. "Don't be afraid- this is God's swimming pool. Go as deep as you wish, stay as long as you like, the descent you experience is His drawing, but you may choose to stop, descend or rise if you wish, even to the surface now if you wish to make certain your knowledge is assuredly true now. You may climb back out if that is your wish, knowing you may always return also knowing you can not drown here. I have been deeper, I returned here to learn what ever this level may teach as I missed this as I too descended. I could not imagine not being able to know more now- as what you will find here, is His and freely shared with whom ever He chooses to invite into the pool. Swim or stay with me here, You are already where you need to be. Deep with in Him- for He is the living water. The pool itself- the rooms the seeming limits they impose does not exist but for familiarity to our human senses- There is no bottom that has been found- you may go as deep as you like- learn what you wish, and know- there is always more." So I did. Went back into the waters outside the room, started visiting each new one, knowing I can always rise back to the surface if I choose, but the water and the rooms are where I now belong. The surface is for "vacation" if I want one... the true depths are where I belong now. And ever deeper will I go. Swimming pool... His. It strips away old things, provides new things. It's almost like I'm a fish now- Just enjoying what comes naturally. In Him. "Lost my faith"... Because most of it was lies... Made me believe I could not enter in- could not know- the things God wants me to know- from the inside - of Him. Our form of faith is vapor in which we seek to rise and attain ever new heights of "righteousness and holiness" we will never ever attain. Vapor that we believe we must have and don't believe we can live without. Vapor that makes us believe it's where we belong. The vapor of false faith is a sin we don't even recognize. He saves us from vapors-and sustains us in His waters- even when He removes our faith- shows us how wrong we were. All we needed- was Him. All we need now- is to remember the swimming pool is just a mind picture- ... ... ... ... or is it... This little fish.... knows better. gordy |
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4/6/2008 3:33 pm |
Gordie, I don't quite know what to say, I've never struggled in my faith. I've been very fortunate in that way! In this situation, all that comes to me is....what you do have and believe, grab hold of it and build on to it. Let God lead you toward the path He has designed for you. I pray that your journey to your path is quick, easy, and rewarding beyond your imagination!!
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7/8/2009 6:25 am |
Not sure at all....evidently I must have missed the boat on this one!! (Pun intended...ha ha)
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10/29/2010 2:07 pm |
Still swimmin... Addendum to losing my faith "interesting place..."
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