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Lets talk aobut SEX How much Physical contact is appropriate when Dating |
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4/7/2008 4:27 am |
I believe that after a few dates such as 7 and numerous amount of getting to know one another holding hands is acceptable if there is agreement between the two.the touching and beyond is something for after marriage.. ROMANS 8:18-19 Choose life,So that both you and your seed may live
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4/7/2008 5:16 am |
I don't kiss and tell. 
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LOL, I have had friends that thought your last option is acceptable. Apart from that, having somebody around while you are waiting for the right one is also acceptable. All of them, without exception had to repent because they got burned and hurt. It is like taking from the bible only what is acceptable to you. The things you do not like does not apply to you, but it does not excempt you. We can try and reason with ourselves to a point where lust gets the upperhand, easy one, because it comes natural. Especially if you have been single for some time. You have to decide where your focus lies. You cannot deny that there are needs, but redirect the energy to other areas of your life. You need to draw a line and then not move or cross it. Intercourse is part of sex, everything leading up to that, including the 1st move is part of the act. If it is in your mind, nothing is going to stop you. You can only fool yourself, you will pay the price. You must just ask yourself how expensive it is, and if it was realy worth it. Hi there, just had to pop in to say hi. 
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4/7/2008 6:18 am |
I didn't vote. The choices offered do not reflect what Christ taught. So I'd rather follow what He said, than men's traditions and morality judgments. But it's a fun post anyway! gordy
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4/7/2008 7:35 am |
I agree with Terrie and Crucified....my feelings, exactly!!! One man that I had dated, didn't take my hand until after a year of getting to know me. Although I was ready for my hand to be held much sooner than him; he waited until he knew what he wanted, so as not to take advantage of me. That left a HUGE impression on me. I have soooooo much respect for him!!!! I will not give myself to another man before marriage....I'm not a trial run/offer. And boundary testing isn't allowed. As I heard somewhere, obedience is the best way to tell a parent that you love them. I believe that to be true of my love for God. I show God how much I love Him by being obedient to His Word. And it also sheds light on "deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Jesus." Blessings, Debbie
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Sorry forgot to add: TREAT THE GIRL IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, THE SAME AS YOU WANT THE GUY IN YOUR WIFE'S LIFE RIGHT NOW, TREATING HER. Hi there, just had to pop in to say hi.
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True, I was thinking the same, a long relationship prior to marriage will most probably not work for me. Hi there, just had to pop in to say hi.
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4/8/2008 10:27 am |
Paul said to Timothy: "Concerning these things I have told you (the bible doesnt say what was said) it is better for a man to not even TOUCH a woman!" I beleive that outside of a brother/sister, father/daughter, mother/son relationship, you shouldnt touch, unless you are married, or unless you are comforting someone in need. The church today only talks about sex in the sence of intercouarse, or oral sex, but it starts MUCH sooner than that with holding hands, and even kissing! Think of what a gift it would be if the only person you ever held hands with was your hubby, or wife, and no one else! I've held hands with several different types of women in the past, and have sen physical differnces in just that, that I didnt need to know about!
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4/9/2008 10:57 am |
magpie: In the context of dating, what you said in this statment: "as times change so do people (although god wont change)" is actually a contradiction! God already write in the bible how we are supposed to go about getting a mate, but the church doesnt follow what the bible says anymore because it has assumed that dating is biblical, when in fact, the histry of it has shown that it is man made! I reccoment you read in the BC magazine the post about "the dangers of dating!" (In the older posts) It will give you some insite to what it really does!
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4/11/2008 10:25 am |
Hi there magpie I feel it is a contradiction because if God never changes, and we have, then we have ignored the principals that God already set in order to go about obtaining a wife! Dating didnt come about untill the 1600's, and is relatively new. Jesus is prepairing for his marriage to us, as we speak, yet he isnt dating us!!! How can that be? He is using betrothal, and the bible says, "in eveerything you do, be immitators of Christ!" If Jesus is using betrothal, and not dating, wouldnt that sugjest that what we are doing could be sin? Could it be that dating was invented in rebellion to Godds word? Dating is the only area in life that the modern church hasnt investigated the background of, that I know of! The investigate things like halloween, and Santa Clause, and dont allow those things in church settings, yet we have assumed that dating is "cultural!" Well, so is halloween, and Santa! Again, please read "The Dangers of Dating" in the magazine. People actually arnt different then 2000 years ago because the bible says, "there is nothing new under the sun!" If we as people are diffeerent than 2000 years ago, then every other part of the bible wouldnt apply then, just like the world says that the bible cant be trusted, but religions like Scientology can be, because its newer! We also need to look at the fact that not all types of people are given a fair chance at dating! Two examples: Over weight women, (you never see any of them in Playboy, for example) and men that are "too nice!" I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions!
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hey thanks everyone for the replies please keep them comming! Kev
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4/15/2008 10:24 am |
Integrity, With me being a man that was told by women, the old line of "youre to nice, etc..." and with the church over al being so afraid of men and women talking to one another and helping one another when emotional problmms come about, a woman simply LOOKING at me can get "The juices" flowing! This is all because the church refuses to teach "self control" like the bible talks about! So, someone in my position could make a legitimate case that all women should wear a burka and only take it off after she is behind closed doors, that way no man would ever be temped! One must use common sence and teach people correctly when they are young, otherwise, things like this can come up!
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4/16/2008 7:06 pm |
as you get to know a lady..a kiss and a cuddle is ok if the realtionship is sincere and genuine. but christian Men should NEVER defraud a woman...this is to simulate a womans love and not be able to fulfill it..ie dont lead her on...dont mislead her sexual chasitity before marraige...and boundaries...can be tough but its better than sex before marriage ..or arousing a womans sexual desire and or love in any given context and not being able to fulfill it eg not being able to marry/unite// DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE BEFORE IT PLEASES(proverbs) that is the mans responsibility again there is not a textbook on these things and triail and error teaches us much,,,,Jesus doenst stop us from leatrning as humans in any rel....but the wisdom of Christ is a good thing...and we may be fortunate and have learnt that thru good christain teaching..or be less fortunate and learn this lessons thru failures in various ways eg any sincere believer who fell into sex will discover the heartache also relationships teach us lessons and boundaires as we go...the holy Spirit will always convict if an action or a comment has gone too far as we live day to day honor is the key any guy who is still into self gratiifacation has a paniful journey ahead...and if the lady hasnt learnt restraint...this may set her up for pain in a marraige..becuase if he marries her for sex....then deeper problems may emerge within that relationship once that urge/need has been fulfilled i personnly beleive the single period is for singles to learn many lessons...which will differ in each case...according to the character require eg a man who gets saved after serial sex life will have to re learn self control and not to be governed by these impulses quite a journey...i knew a man like that once and the Lord said to wait SEVEN years before to marry his fianccee...9 years later i met them and yes thats exactly what they did we must come off the wordly patterns,,,and THRU GRACE learn the christ like pattern trial and error,,fearing God
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4/17/2008 10:12 am |
I agree with racefan. Sex is a gift that God gives you on your wedding night. How can you expect to get a wedding gift, if you don't get married? It doesn't work unless we do it God's way. Done deal. No if's and's or but's. God Bless    'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.' Linda Maria
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2 things came to mind when reading this. First, some responded that (whatever) was acceptable after (a certain number) of dates. I wouldn't put a time or a number on it. By the way, how long is appropriate before marrying; Is 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year or 1 decade enough. The point I am getting at is I leave it up to God. His timetable is always better than mine. So if God has a soulmate for me and we meet, we will both know when the time is right if we leave it up to him, if we rush it or wait too long by using our timetable it will be wrong everytime. Second, as far as how far to go. You have to look into yourself and decide what you consider as sex. Laugh if you want, but some may feel that holding hands is the same as sex. That is ok if that is what God teaches them and not our place to judge. What I do know is that God made sex for married people and we are not to fornicate until married. Why would God put this stop sign up for us. Again I do not know, but think what the world would be like if all heeded it. The divorce rate would be emensely lower, unwanted pregnancies would be very rare, STDs would also be rare instead of common. These are good enough reasons to me for a stop sign on premarital sex but the list could go on and on. Blessings, Michael Christianity for Dummies Chapter 4 Go to Church Christianity for Dummies Chapter 3 Sin and Repentence Christianity for Dummies Chapter 2 Salvation Christianity for Dummies Prologue and Chapter 1 Praying In the Heat of the Night Testimony Chapter 4 Judging and Gossiping , Commitment and Covenant For All Part 15, 16 and End Commitment and Covenant For All Part 13 and 14 , Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 11 and 12 Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 9 and 10 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 8 Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 7 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 5 6 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 4 , Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 3 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 1 2 , Walk the Walk Self Esteemand the 8Cow Wife , I am a Christianx2026So What Now Communicating According to the Scriptures , Friend vs Spouse Christ in the cells of our body , The LoveHate list
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4/17/2008 4:47 pm |
freddie Actually it goes both ways! I've had women defraud me MANY MANY times. And the bible does say too, "beware of the adulterous women!" Its not just a "mans responcibility!" Its the resoncibillity of EVERYONE! Man ,and woman alike! Sin is sin! Men dont have different types of sin that women!\
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4/17/2008 5:59 pm |
good point saxmanjr point taken and to reply to mr deepest faith i think the reason that God also puts prohibition on premarital sex is that you become ONE FLESH in the sexual union therefore being God He wants us as COUPLES to be able to ENFORCE that one flesh union with commitment/honor/compatibility/and the marriage commitment and family unit it is an IDEAL that we as humans need to continuallly work towards Jesus did not come to abolish the LAW of moses but to fulfill it we are under the GRACE of GOD now...a new covenant...BUt that GRACE is given to us in our humanity ...with our failures along the way.....to WALK INCREASINGLY year by year towards the ideal of righteousness AS for marriage,,,that is why we should be extraordinarily compassionate towards divorcees and singles who struggle ans sometimes fail...as part of the learning curve who are we to judge Jesus said unless your righteousness is GREATER than that of the pharisees you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven this means that the journey of GRACE is to teach us in our lifetimes how to increasingly walk closer to that standard of righteousness year by year 10 years ago i watched a little tv...no i watch very little the same is said of any area of our lives ....desires for wordly things gradually diminish as desire and growth in jesus GRADUALLY and steadily increasses therefore we all walk toward this righteousness day by day...and no im not excusing sin ive been necessarily single for 16 years...character building and massive lessons along the way someone else may have been married for the same period and God would be building character in their lives in other EQUALLY important ways as long as year by year we become a little more like him each year...thats growth grace and the favour of GOD (traps are LAW LEGALISM ...and lukewarmness and licence on the other side...be that with male female,,,or tv or materailism or chocalate addiction...let us allow the spirit of GOD to clean us up every year and CONTINUALLY ABIDE IN FIRST LOVE as we Grow in His GRACE its that simple PRAISE YOU LOVELY JESUS
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4/18/2008 1:01 pm |
fieldlillies I reccomend you look up "Jonathan Lindvall" and "bold christian living" on the net, and listen to his teachings on dating and relationships, and you'll find that those that did wait for a "wrod from God" were the happiest! My best friend did that, and he is in a 7 year marriage, and growing where he, and his wife have never had one argument!!!
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4/19/2008 6:32 am |
i stand in the middle of the last two comments i believe in three key ingredients working together 1) mutual attraction (God knows we are human) 2) mutual compatibility (calling /hobbies/personaility) 3) GODS blessing...with input from a senior mature oversight IF it was just attraction,,could lead to disaster (no foundation on ROCK) No compatibility = silly IF IT WAS JUST GOD without BOTH consenting ,,,thats not God at all I rejected someone (very respectfully) straight away recently when they said they FELT MAYBE GOD wanted us together...i didnt sense any COMPATIBILITY re calling...was this a WISHION not a VISION??? I believe we may have 1, 2, maybe three opportunities for compatibilities in outr life with Gods blessing (even if we choose BADLY God will BLESS what he can) arranged marraige can be sterile unless they have mutual consent its perhaps a liitle unwise not to check for compatibiltiy and mutual intreest!!! Likewise the people who just married on mutual attraction and did well ...may have been FORTUNATE..and may have been grounded in the basics of a GENUINE COMMITMENT to God Im sure there are countless thousands of christains who have unequally yoked MARRIAGES today becoz they married just on attraction,,,or on a WISH AND a PRAYER as young Believers and ONLY ONE WENT ON IN GOD Or one got saved AFTER The marriage trust me,,,my sister cops MANY thorns for marrying her defacto before returning to the Lord There is no textbook in the christain faith BUT wisdom CAN AVIOD painful thorns
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4/19/2008 10:32 am |
Actually there is a "textbook" in the christian faith on how to get married! Do EXACTLY what Jesus is currently doing to prepair for his bride (wife)! Its written in the bible what he is doing, but todays church doesnt follow it because the devil has convinced then that this part of the bible is no longer accurate to todays age, and "culture," which cant be true because Rev. 22:18 makes it clear that NO part of the bible is to be left out! Eph. 5, 1 Cor. 13, and Proverbs 31!!!!!
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4/20/2008 12:28 am |
sounds like religious zeal to me saxmanjr i dont deny ANY part of the bible i did NO i ANY way say we have to compromise the bible to our culture sorry i dont argue with fanatics GOD bless please dont kill the discussion with zeal just because you are yet to fail and experiece his grace in your attempt at perfection doubt i will be addressing you again...God bless
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4/20/2008 11:34 am |
dating IS a cultural compromise! Did Jesus date to prepair for his future marriage? HHHMMM....
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4/20/2008 11:36 am |
To add to another comment: Kissing is actually a part of sex! Thats why the bible says, "greet each other with a HOLY kiss!" A Holy kiss, is a kiss on the cheek, and not "making out!"
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4/20/2008 6:18 pm |
listen i have read the dating v no dating argument and there is truth on both sides...as you will alays find in God...He is WISDOM in the middle loose dating culture provides too many opportunities for breakups,heartaches.... rigid no dating culture provides NO opportunities for growth , awareness etc....or christian LIBERTY granted kissing can be a very affactionate thing...and certainly i dont think young people should be encouraged to date too much or kiss and pet. certainly,,,,but your rigid textbook doenst work in tje real world i know several DISASTER ARRANGED MARRIAGES WHO WAITED FOR GOD throw out the rigid textbook,,,,follow Gods textbook of day to day LIFE being led by the Spirit how do we creeate DOCTRINE out of dating when interpersonal relationships need ingreedients such as mutual interests etc to make things NATURALLY HAPPEN PS ps i do agree that youn 16-23 year olds neeed Godly teaching to restrain worldliness and hormonal uninformed IMpulse But this isnt a youth site God gives his SONS AND DAUGHTERS the liberty to Go out and enjoy each otheres company in a variety of ways.....and be responsible (eg morally) before God The LAW is only a TUTOR to lead one to christ we should after being saved more thatn 5 years...be able to function MORALLY and learn PROGRESSIVELY before God as we enjoy company of the opposite sex your textbook is rigid and dry...as much as church culture can be worldly and Greive God too LET PEOPLE LIVE....LAW KILLS LIFE>>>AS DOES LAWLESSNESS relationships arer where we find HOW HOW HOW the LOGOS BECOMES RHEMA TO US IN OUR INDIVIDUAL LIVES EG HOW The Holy Spirit corrects and adjusts a relationship on a weekly and MUTUAL BASIS God has given me LENGHTY relationships in the past that were moral ,,affectionate,,,and not ultimately designed for marriage I do not deny that sound dating theology is important for 16-23 year olds...and i dont think multiple dating at that age is at all wise mostly GROUP outings and ONE primary attempt at monitored date..based on insight toward some Godly compatibility and LOVING oVERSIGHT listen i dont just sense any LIBERTY of the SPIRIT in youor LAW OF dating i have fead EQUALLY GOOD books on the pro DATING IN MODERATION ISSUE take your rigid textbook life and keep it to your RIGID textbook life let others be more creative and spontaneous...and dont judge us as being worldly for things you dont understand and will neve experince in your rigid textbook world some women wont come near your rigid type..they love JESUS DEEPLY and havev seasoned morals,,,but theye have learned to discren the diference between RIGID LAW and GRACE GRACE TO GROW LEARN AND LIVE...give me that any day Jesus if you havent noticed ALLOWS this BARNYARD CALLED LIFE with all of its great messses to go on ALL BY OURSELVES with HIM behind us If jesus wanted His church to be a sterile Hopsital he wouldnt have allowed his SON to be born in a SMELLY MANGER FRED
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4/21/2008 10:46 am |
WEll, try applying biblical betrothal, and you can eliminate everything that you just said and find Gods way! Betrothal isnt an arranged marriage, The people involved can still say "no" but in arranged marriages, the parties involved dont have a choice! Let me ask you this though, if dating is the way to go, then why is it that men that are told "youre too nice, I see you like a brother, I just wwantto be friends" arnt given a fair chance like everyone elce, and when that person brings up those issus, women dont admit to ever saying that to men, and the Pastors dont wantto deal with it? Also, what about the type of men that can only attract women that are gay? I reccomend that you read a book called, "Thoughts. From Men Like Me." It will give you insite to the things that the church turns a blind eye to!
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