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Rules for Christian Dating?!? I started dating in July of this year after being single for 3 yrs and married for 28 yrs. I was not prepared for the intimacy issues that have come up. How are others handling intimacy in dating relationships? Because on my own need to navigate through this dating process, I read "Boundaries in Dating," by Dr. Henry Cloud and found it helpful, but I don't see any consistent "rules" or guidelines being followed by other Christians. What are you all doing? For instance, physical contact: do you hug on the first date? Sideways hug? or full-on frontal hug? What about hand-holding - is it allowed? How soon? Is it ok to put your arm around the other person? At what point in your relationship is it ok? Kissing . . . boy that can get you into trouble . . . is it ok? How soon? Before marriage? After engagement? Only in an exclusive relationship? How much? How often? For how long? I won't ask questions going any further than kissing because the Bible is pretty clear on the fact that impurity in not allowed and, anything past kissing is, in my opinion, moving into impurity. I'm REALLY interested in reading what others have to say, especially you committed, Christian mid-lifers. |
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I think it gets down to this. Why are you dating? It should be looking for a mate and not a hang out buddy. I also think it takes time to build a relationship. What honors what could be your mate most? Respect. If you respect a person then you will honor them. If they do not honor you, then its about selfish desires. Selfishness is the main cause of divorce. We no longer do for each other, we want from each other.
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well i have to say that since we are all unique in the eyes of God we all react differently when put into that situation so as far as answers I wont be able to help you much either just share what I have gone through. my family is raised to be huggers and kissers, the kids and i do that all the time and i do that with my friends as well, those that are not comfortable with it, then i don't bother them as far as that goes. as you point out and 4gvnrn has stated we all know our weaknesses and what will take us over the line or not so that is something you need to discuss with your other half. before charie and i got together we had a long talk regarding this and what would and would not be allowed and what she thought she like or dislike, cheers May the Lord bless you and keep you
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