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Tropical_Man 67M
6573 posts
12/23/2011 3:35 am
taking it to the next level

I often hear people talk about taking a relationship to the next level. In most cases that is speaking about having sex with the person that you are dating. This is not an article of condemnation or anything, but really one of life. You know, there are mans' ways and then there are God's ways. One thing I can say for sure is that mans ways almost always have a certain amount of selfish reasoning to them. God's ways in contrast have a special seal about them. They are built to make a foundation that is lasting.

When Meriam and I first started talking about meeting and eventual marriage, I told her that she is God's first and foremost. I said that that is the most important thing to me is her relationship with God. If you build a home taking short cuts and a big storm comes a long, the short cuts just may cause the house to be destroyed in a big storm. All of the Hurricane extra reinforcements are not there because, well the house doesnt have to have them to withstand normal bad storms.

God designed Men for Women and Women for men. Its natural. He created Men wired one way and Women another. When we honor each other and are unselfish, then you actually have soul mates in life. But when you are selfish and always in it for what you can get out of a relationship, someone is always going to feel used, and then they in turn will try and find ways to use you.

The Church will many times say to the woman it is God's plan for you to submit to your husbands. It gets to a point where when things go awry its because the woman is not fully submitting.That's what people will point to. Isn't it ironic, that if they had read the full scripture they would see that it says, husbands, lay down your very lives for your wives. I hate to tell men this, but if you do this, it is a much stronger statement than submitting. This means you actually place your life on the line daily for your wife and family. Do you do this?

The Apostle Paul once wrote, I can do all things, but not all things are profitable. Yes he is saying that yeah, he could do as he wishes, but is what he is doing going to be helpful to him or be good in his plans? That is something to think about. I could also show you where it says that there is no condemnation in Christ, but does that mean that there is no cause and natural effect in life? Of course there is. If you are married, you have an affair, many bad things can happen. Your spouse finds out and they leave or divorce you. You may get a disease, or get pregnant. The list is long. There is also a scripture that says anything done in darkness will be found out in the light. Your wrong doing will some day be found out.

Over the years I have seen a lot of things designed for one thing, being used for something else. It never quite works efficiently when it is used for something it is not designed for. Usually there are some other types of problems that evolve from not doing things the right way. Then it is an ongoing procession of alterations to make up for the last alteration.

I can't begin to tell you how many things in life that I have purchased and put together that have come with instructions. I can tell you that usually I do not read the instructions and just get going on things. There have been many times that I end up with things left over, or I had to start over because I needed to do step A before I had done step B. I am sure many of us can relate to this. Reading the instructions really needs to be a norm instead of a aberration.

God is not going to send a believer to eternal damnation over sex before marriage. But as I said, there are natural consequences in life to what we do. As I said before, when using something designed one way to work in another capacity brings many modifications. Please do not feel condemned in what I am saying, that is not my intent. Please do not, if you have been sexually active out of marriage. My intent is to see the reasoning behind what I am saying.

The way we are wired. After sex, men tend to just go into their caves and women tend to want to enjoy snuggling and short conversation. Their exploring is still going on, when the man inately feels he has explored enough and his emotions are stymied, while hers has just begun. So men, if they love their spouse go beyond and snuggle and talk. Because it is not about them at this point, it is about understanding and further loving her. But it is not natural. It's learned. Just as the art of helping the man to understand, comes from a wise woman.

God did not come up with all of these laws just to be able to control us or punish us for a good laugh. His reasoning is that he fully understands what sin actually does to the people he so loves. Yeah, we hate to use the word sin, and I tried to avoid it here. No one likes to use that word, but its in the instruction book. God gives us guidelines, not to make us Holy, but to protect us. protect us from ourselves and our selfishness that brings on natural consequences in life. It's because he loves us. He is not out to get us.

We are adults. We can do whatever we want. You know what? Yes we can. But not all things are profitable. God warns us that the storms of life will come. That is inevitable. So, do we prepare for those storms with just as much anticipation as we do for retirement someday? No we do do not in most cases. We live for the moment. That is the selfish side of us.

I made a promise to Meriam. I told her that we would wait until marriage before we made love. When you love someone and desire someone badly, yeah its hard. But I know around the corner there are hurricanes in life. I am in the midst of building a house that follows God's instructions. There are many reasons why. Over here is the 5000 per square inch cement for the slab. Thats code, and will keep out water. God has codes. Over here are hurricane reinforcements for the walls and for the roof. They arent going anywhere. You could get the 115 mile per hour resistant windows, but I am going to put the best windows with storm shutters to protect us when we need to use them. Wood and Ceramic floors to last a lifetime, because to me as God says, Marriaage is intended to last a lifetime.

We all know adultery is wrong. On so many levels it is wrong.Very destructive. But sex between two unmarried people is not adultery, so it really is not hurting anything is it? Well in God's instruction manual it is called fornication. It is not spoken of in a high manner. It is called sinful. I pointed out some issues in adultery and the natural ramifications that can occur. There are many with fornication as well. A Baby. Abortions. Diseases. One person perhaps being stuck with all the responsibilities. Childcare payments for life. Things done out of order in the instructions that cause great modifications in peoples lives.

Making love with the person you love is intended to be beautiful. It is intended to be a loving selfless intimate act that brings two people as close as they could ever be. It is also an act that can produce life. Its a miracle. But yet we can either have it beautiful, or we can make it something that is very selfish. It is often even perverted. How sad.

To a man, he may feel shameful in doing this in a wrong way. But his hormones will over ride the shame until he feels some shame later again. But eventually he will become desensitized to the wrong approach to sex. The woman, she is always about relationship. Some times, she will continue because she feels it is part of building the relationship. At first she will feel dirty and shame, but then she too will become desensitized to something beautiful being out of the realm of what is the right way.

If you have read this far, thank you. I am just sharing my heart. There is an old 70's saying. God said it, I believe it and that settles it. God says to wait until marriage. There are also scriptures that say God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Apostle Paul said to men that burn in desire for their woman(called them virgins) that they needed to marry them.

I love Meriam with all of my heart. I, in this case have read the manual. It tells me to not make love until I marry Meriam. i can look back and mention all the times I have bought something in life that included instructions. All the times that I endeavored frustrations over having to redo things all because I was too impetuous..and just forged on like a bull in a China shop.

I never want Meriam to feel shame. I want her to feel right about everything we do in life. Love? Shouldn't love be brought about in love. I believe Love is patient. I believe it is kind and does not seek itself. If we act and do in love, then how can we go wrong? If love builds a house or a relationship; it will use all of the needed precautions. It will save and build with the best materials. Its for a lifetime, not a season. If we build for seasons, that is in turn all we will end up with.

I want a life time. Be Blessed


12/23/2011 1:28 pm

Good read. I pray that God blesses your marriage.

Tropical_Man 67M
6389 posts
12/24/2011 2:29 am

Thank You Jay

Tropical_Man 67M
6389 posts
12/24/2011 9:04 am

and the same to you

Tropical_Man 67M
6389 posts
1/15/2012 3:46 am

you too