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Tropical_Man 68M
6573 posts
12/23/2011 3:32 am
when dreams may come

I saw on face book today a single mom stating that people were telling her that she was too old to have her dream of going to culinary school and becoming a Chef. I can't really put her statement here of what she said to them, but I am sure you can imagine. When people have dreams in life, it requires having hope for something. Hope is the basis that fuels faith in it ever happening.

When I was younger, I had all of these dreams and visions of what I wanted my life to be. I hoped to make a difference in this world. My visions were that of serving God in a capacity of perhaps a Pastor. I married by the time I was 24 to a gal who had had a lot of bad stuff happen to her by her father. No molestation of the body, but perhaps just as bad, molested in the spirit. She never felt accepted or wanted by her dad. It is a molestation in my opinion that haunts her to this day. I know there a other people who could understand and relate. Anyway, I spent 20 years of my life trying to make a marriage work that was oil and water. I was faithful. She was not. The time came where God said to just let go and I did.

In this 20 years, my dreams died. My hope that I had, it diminished in regards to what was always in my heart. So I deferred. i found other things to focus on besides what God had placed in my heart. Oh, I encouraged others. I shared what God was sharing with me, but I buried the dreams and desires in my heart as if I could not bear to dream anymore.

Some of my friends could see this. A dear one always seemed to point it out. Stating I know God has something special in store for you. I had let her see places in my heart that I didn't often let people see. Its easier to put up walls in the form of a gruff exterior than be honest and see the room full of brokenness inside of shattered dreams. We all have broken areas of our desires in life. We just do not like to admit it.

So what brings me to this place to speak of this? God is the God of second chances. He knows exactly what we need in life. I can say today that I feel more alive today than I have in many many years. In the past I was in a relationship where I always had to be doing something to gain acceptance. I would not do that today. I would just be myself. I know that is good enough. I am not a bad person. My friends know that I am a good friend, and my knows I do my best as his father and friend. I know my faults too. Funny thing is my ex-wife says that I am a good man too. I wish her the best. Its strange, but over the years, and it has been 13 now; I dont even feel inside like we were ever married. God has healed me. But its nice not to be disliked. I wish her the best too. I hope her struggles are over and she meets God's choice for her.

I just got off of the phone with Meriam. She is in Manilla with her family in a pre-Christmas get together. Some people will never understand my relationship to her. She is from another country. We have an age difference. I do not really care if people disapprove for whatever reason. I do not care if people say why don't you find someone from this country. I really believe she is the love of my life. Yeah that can sound crazy. You can think that because she is beautiful. That I am thinking with my eyes.

The truth of the matter is that when i first saw her, God spoke to me. He told me that she is a lot like my mother was. Very loving and a beautiful heart. I kept asking God questions about her. Boy did I hope she could feel the same about me. In my wildest dreams I did not think I would ever really be sincerely loved in this life time. Each time I asked God, he found a way to show me exactly what he was talking to my heart about with her. She is a wonderful person that thinks of me always. She finds new ways to let me know how much she loves me.

This is not one of those situations where you meet someone and in an hour they tell you they love you. Our situation took a little time. But I will say, for me it was really love at first site. I saw Jesus in her eyes. In knowing her, I see him in her life daily. I just grow deeper and deeper in love with her everyday.

Funny thing happened when I got to know her. All of those dreams that were always in me have come alive. Here is a person that her hearts' desire is to be a soul winner for Christ. We are on the very same page. She tells me she fan feel my love and my sincerity towards her and I can honestly say, her actions and words make me experience what I have always desired in life, and that is to have a mate that fully accepts and loves me. I thought I would never experience that in life. I give thanks to God for this. i feel like God has completed me in life.

She once told me, that she could have had a different person, but that God sent me and that I am the right guy. In my heart I know that she is exactly what I have dreamed of. Someone that I can actually fulfill God's plan in my life with. Today we talked on the phone, and that is what cause this blog. We laughed together. Her nieces were in the background. She and I both said that we can not wait to have some of our own. We love . We both believe that are God's greatest gift to a family.

I say all of this to say to people, you have dreams. Some have come true, some lay dormant in your lives. The most important thing is to remind God that you have these dreams because he placed them inside you. Ask him to rekindle your hope in life for what is really important to you. Then allow him to bring them to pass. God Bless You!