Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > Tropical_Man > Meriam's Guy |
|
my daddy I remember what he did for me I remember the days of my youth. I was reckless and full of pride. So much pride that I thought I knew more than anyone. My dad, he was so patient with me. My story, it is one of the reality that rebellion can bring you down. It grieves me even to this day when I think about my foolish type of thinking that led me to the darkest time of my life. Some might say that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My father owned a big farm with lots of land that we grew crops on. We had many live stock, as well as many many servants hired by my father to operate this family business. One thing that sticks in my mind as I think back. That being that my father was always fair in how he treated those servants. He paid them a good wage, the living conditions of the on site housing was always top notch and probably better than if they had built something for themselves. The food provided daily was pretty good. Something I would have no problem at all eating. If someone was ill, my dad made sure everything was done to make sure they became healthy again. Its' strange but when you are young and you think you know everything, these types of everyday operations seem to go unnoticed because I was too much thinking about me. Yeah...I was once young and am now old. I hope that by me telling my story, some of you parents out there can realize just how much of an impact you can have without realizing it. Families can be saved much grief with just a little understanding and love. Maybe some of you young folk can save yourself a lot of problems. It wasn't fun. My brother, he was a lot different than me. He seemed to take pride in going about our family business. I think he was hoping to take over when Dad didn't want to do it anymore. Some might say he was a brown noser. But I wouldn't be so hard on him. He was off to himself and a tad quiet and removed. But, he was diligent. That is a word that I could never even spell in those days. The strange part is that try as he might, the connection between he and dad was not as strong as what dad and I had. When you consider what a problem I was, it amazes me despite the rebellion I had, how much we loved each other deep down. Yet at the same sense I just believed I was smarter than my dad. If I were to look at it now, I would say my dad looked simple to me. He loved people because that's what he had in his heart. He never lied. Back then, I saw it as weakness because I looked out at this big world and through my eyes it was all about what I could take from it. His outlook was what could he give to the world to make it a better place. Now I can see. He was right and I was the perfect fool in all of this. There is an old saying, if you seek self you find self. I sure did a lot of that and let me tell you I was never more wrong in my life. Eventually things came to a head as they say. I kept looking at all there was out there. Pretty women, things that I thought would make me happy. Like minded people. I tried to get my dad to see things through my eyes. Finally I said to him, I don't want anything to do with this family or you anymore. You do not understand me and I do not understand you. Can I just have my inheritance that I would have when you are gone? I just want to go. I am not happy. I am sick of all this. As I tell you this, I can still remember how his eyes teared up. His head dropped a little. I knew I had hurt him. But I didn't care. I knew in my mind he was weak. The desire to do as I wanted seemed to overtake any reasoning in my heart. He held out his hand in a way intended for me to wait. In a few minutes he returned with a small bag. It was full of coins and gold. I was looking at the Gold and so happy I thought, but out of the corner of my eye I could see him mouth the words "I will always love you my ". He slumped in the chair and I hears sobs as I walked out that entrance way forever. Never to return. I cant tell you what happened in my dads life once I left. I am sure he hated me. I sure would have if my would have said the things I did that day.Many I am too embarrassed to share here and now. Well, I went right off to the City.Everything I ever wanted probably could be found there. My daddy had a lot of money. Funny thing is looking back, that money never ever owned him. He just used it to pay servants and make everything work properly. He used to say that the Love of money is the root of all evil. I guess that just never sank in. money, sure can bring a person a lot of friends. At least you think it can. In the long run they just are like leaches. But I didn't think about that. I liked the new found attention. My mom and daddy always talked about how beautiful and right making love was and that it should be saved for marriage. Well.... I was a good looking man when I was young, and there were more beautiful women in that City than I had ever imagined. I cant begin to tell you how many of them I took advantage of and take them to my bed. I had a nice place and they liked being there. Funny thing though, when I started to be a little careful with the money they left me. That's when I discovered some women for just a little bit of money would do whatever I wanted. I didn't even have to be nice to them. Yet then again, when I was all alone I was haunted by that vision of my dad telling me ", I will never stop loving you". I was haunted by his sounds of crying as I left. But you know, I shouldn't worry. My brother was there. I am sure they are bonding like he and I once did. No big deal huh? Well, I can tell you I didn't convince myself with these thoughts. That's when I started drinking in excess instead of sociably. When you become a drunk, that's when everything goes out of control. It wasn't that much longer before all of my inheritance was gone. Well when money runs out, then your place to stay is taken away from you. That's what happened to me. I can;t even begin to tell you where I ended up. it was so filthy. I didn't know what to do to be honest. All of this went on for awhile, as I knew I had burned bridges. Funny thing is when you do not have money, those friends you once thought to be friends are no where to be found. All of a sudden, I started thinking about my simplistic daddy and how he lived. I started laughing in a painful way as I realized how nice and kind that he treated mere servants. He was always good and kind to them. That's when it hit me. Maybe, just maybe he would let me come back and live there as a simple servant. Those servants on the farm were living like a king compared to me. Gotta be honest, it took me a few more weeks before I could muster up the courage to go back. He had every reason to never talk to me again. I can't even tell you how bad the words were that I spoke to him. But, finally I went. I can barely say this. I was probably about a mile from the house. I saw someone running at me. I wasn't sure at first if someone recognized me and was going to try and kill me. I sure know i deserved it. There is no forgiving my actions. Then............I saw a face. It was my dad. Tears flowing. I didn't deservethose tears being shed for me. he had to be watching to know it was me. Had he been watching everyday? All this time? I felt my knees fail me as he ran to embrace me. He caught me as I started to fall. I could feel him kiss the back of my neck. I said "I love you my , and I always will. I am so glad you are here". Those words were a salve to my soul. But I did not deserve this. What could I say? What could I say? I looked into his eyes as best I could. All I could see was his love for me. The that acted like the worst bastard ever. Finally I started muttering. I fell to my knees. I bowed down before him and said "Father, I have sinned against heaven and I have sinned against you. Please forgive me. Allow me to just live here as a servant and help you." There was a silence. I kept waiting for the scolding that I knew I deserved. By then some of the servants were there a few feet away. My brother just a little bit further. But my father didn't scold me. God knows it is the least I deserved. He didn't even bother telling me he forgave me. Didn't even say, ok this time but don't ever do this again. I looked up, I could see his face. He had actual joy to see me, His arms were outstretched to me. he reached down and pulled me up. He held me for what seemed like forever, and yet that would not be long enough! How could he love me? I had brought this family such shame? I deserved nothing but scorn. Nothing but eternal disgrace. Yet he loved me no matter. Then he turned to the servants. He said, get my a clean robe, bring me one of the family's rings to place on his hand. Find the fatted calf. Let us celebrate the return home of my . Two of the servants led me away to prepare me for the feast and fulfill my fathers directions. I saw my Father and my Brother talking. It looked like an argument. i hope not. I was not worth arguing over. The feast went well. It was nice talking to the people and being held by my mom. But where was my brother? Did I really belong again? Would I ever? Was this a good idea over all? He came up to me and gave me a hug. He told me he was really mad at me. That's understandable. But he also said dad explained everything to me. Why the celebration, and why the total forgiveness. I have given him my word to forgive you. It will take some time, but I will get there. I am only my fathers . It will take me more to get where he is, but I see the finished product. I thanked him and asked his forgiveness as well. I was once young and foolish. I was more reckless than most. The story could be about me and how I wised up. How I humbled myself. But, that is the farthest thing from the truth. The real story is my fathers love. How he saw me through his eyes of love, and not where my heart was at that time. What he did for me, I will never forget. It will carry me in my dealings with my family and others. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Jesus, that whoever believes in him will not perish; but have everlasting life. |
|||
|
glad you liked it
|
×
×