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Tropical_Man 67M
6573 posts
10/16/2011 6:36 am
Why marry? What is the real Reason?

Why Marry and what is its real reason?

by Dennis Thompson

There is a special thing intended in marriage. The magic of two people becoming one. We can sit here and state that it is intended biblically for two people to have a ministry towards each other, the community and where God would lead. A man and a woman can also do that as just friends. You know over the years I have known long time married couples who will confide and say that their sex life is even better than when they were young lovers, and they go on to talk about how they have incorporated their maturing relationship into new and more playful loving aspects of their love making. I think this is very good.

Then I hear others speak and say, oh well, ya know we are older now. Its just not that important anymore. Sometimes this is based on physical deterioration of one or more of them. That is understandable but it does not have to limit intimate touching and moments. Love doesn't have to stop entirely to the point that you should be like a couple of friends.

Then there is this other side. I have heard people say that the sexual contact is way blown out of context and that is only part of marriage. I have seen this stated towards a spouce that wanted much more sexual activity and it was a huge reason that they got married. To have someone they loved that they could have LOTS of sex with. So this is of course a huge issue between that couple. I have done a lot of thinking regarding this topic. Recently I have encountered several friends that are in the middle of middle age that have pretty strong issues in their marriages. One couple is just vastly different. They love each other, but are just so different. Communication is difficult because of the pain and depression one of them suffers from. Another couple has a wife wanting much more romance in their life. The husband just doesn't get that and thinks its a hormonal thing because she is starting menopause. Then I have friends who, one deeply longs for sex and the other for differing reasons doesn't think it should be a big focal point for a marriage.

I plan on remarrying. I have met someone who is a born again believer. I love her devotion to God. I love her sense of humor. I watch how she values family and friends. I see great passion in how she approaches life. She sets goals and stays committed to them. She makes me feel loved. I love loving her. I have never in my life quite felt this way. Our conversations always make me go back several times to enjoy and rehash those moments in my mind. She has no yet loves them. I have always wanted more and can do this with her. She reminds me so much of my mom in how she loves people and tries to make a difference one day at a time. I want her more than I have ever wanted anyone. When I marry her, i want intimacy on a very regular basis. Otherwise, I would just be her friend.

Marriage has many many good things I could talk about outside of making love, having and raising a family. The companionship on a daily basis is a great thing. But you know what? Outside of the sex, between a couple, you could nix the sex and and just be great friends. I have many lady friends that are just that. Friends. Good to great friendships. I wont Marry them or have sex with them. So I can have most of these other things that under Gods' plan is ok, except for sex. So, marriage really is about being free to make love and procreate. You could still have your spiritual friendship between men and women and not have sex. After all, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Thats part of any Christian friendship. But why make such a big deal out of Sex?

What did Paul Say? :

In 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 Paul advises, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." Essentially this says that neither partner in a marriage has a right to deny sex with the other, except if they both make a mutual agreement to abstain for a specified period of time for prayer and fasting. This means a short time, because it is not likely one would or could reasonably continue a real fast for long periods.

*That is pretty strong. How often do we think about this? We, meaning both of us in a marriage do not have power over our own bodies. We are supposed to comply with our partner unless there is a MUTUAL agreement. There is also a WARNING of how the enemy can cause problems if you do not comply to your partners desires. What do you think about these sscriptures?

Hisglory78 64M
187 posts
10/16/2011 8:43 pm


Never mind this Jody/Jer octo profile. You are right on with the Word. Which is beautifully expressed in the Message's rendition of the verse having to do with the matter.

1Co 7:36 If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a "single," and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It's no sin; it's not even a "step down" from celibacy, as some say.

Tropical_Man 67M
6389 posts
10/17/2011 6:12 am

I deleted his statement. It was just stupid. How have you been?