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Tropical_Man 67M
6573 posts
8/22/2011 4:47 am
transparent came I

There is a fine line between being transparent and also guarding your heart. It is important to guard your heart. Important to count the costs involved in a possible relationship. However before you even start thinking about relationships, it is important to look deep into yourself and think. First off there are many people out there that you would not choose as a mate. Many different reasons involved in that decision for you.

Most people do not want to hurt someone else when you turn them down. That is a good trait and shows a good heart on your part. It's not personal, it is just that they do not match up. Perhaps spiritually, attractiveness or even materially. There are so many reasons.

Too often we brand ourselves as a reject when someone says, thanks but no thanks to our advances. It is a whole lot more in most cases about what they want, than who you are as a person. If we can look at it as how we feel when we say thanks, but no thanks; then the pain is greatly lessened.

We all have a little game face when it comes to relationships. Whether it is a weak one, a tender one or a harsh one that is meant to protect us. If we see someone that we admire in all ways. How they carry themselves. How they keep in shape and other things that clearly point to that person doing their best and bringing their "A" Game approach in life. Do we also have an "A" game that we are bringing to the table? Or are we just getting by, thinking that is good enough?

Before we start, we need to have the cake baked, out of the oven and the icing on. You don't present a half baked cake to anyone and expect a good response. There will be no acceptance, and quite frankly, you should not expect it.

I am not saying all of this to discourage anyone. Just to help them see that the expectations you have of a mate are close in many ways to what others want too. So if you can not fulfill your own expectations, perhaps you should be a tad more realistic in your own.

Once you take into consideration these two aspects. Your A Game, realistic goals. You can then proceed to approach someone not as concerned if they say yes or no. Instead it is not a thing of rejection, but rather of choice.

It is not as bad as it seems. As a matter of fact look at approaching someone as like doing an interview. No one gets every job. But what most people do, is they learn from each interview. They change things up a tad here and there. Then.... one day the door opens. If you give up from a few doors being closed in regards to a relationship desire, you can never have one. But if you think about how you can approach it better, make yourself more presentable, then there is a chance. A much better chance. It is about choices for them just as it is for you. Look at it that way, instead of a personal branding of rejection on your forehead.