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Relationship Quiz Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship? Take this quiz to find out. 1] Do you feel afraid to speak your mind, express how you feel or ask for something you need? 2] Does your partner tell you are "stupid", "crazy", or "inadequate" when you disagree? 3] Does your partner make fun of your ideas or opinions? Is your partner bossy and/or try to control every detail in your relationship? 4] Is your partner extremely demanding and jealous? 5] Do you often feel guilty and second-guess your choices in friends, social activities, jobs, etc. because of your partner's negative comments about these choices? 6] Are you afraid of your partner's temper, feel like you walk on eggshells, and/or are constantly monitoring what you say and do as an attempt to avoid making him/her angry? 7] Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner and justifying his/her actions to others? 8] Do you feel more "free" to be yourself when he/she isn't around? 9] Does your partner throw or break things when angry? 10] Does your partner try to control where you go and what you do? 11] Does your partner pressure you to engage in sexual activities that you are uncomfortable with and put you down if you refuse? 12] Does your partner threaten to kill or hurt him/herself if you have a differing opinion, try to end the relationship, or do something they disapprove of? 13] Does your partner try to make you feel guilty for having a "life" (i.e. friends, interests) apart from the relationship? 14] Does your partner criticize your family and friends and ask you to stop seeing them? 15] Do you feel that you have changed, lost touch with who you are, or become someone else in order to be with your partner? Have your friends or family expressed concern about your relationship and/or your well-being? 16] Does your partner know how to make you feel bad (i.e., what buttons to push) and use it often to hurt you? 17] Have you lost touch with your friends, and only hang out with your partner's friends? 18] Does your partner try to control you with anger and guilt, or lash out when you don't do exactly what he or she wants? 19[ Has your partner ever hit, slapped, punched, shoved, grabbed or shook you? 20] Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you, take important things away, or leave you? 21] Has your partner ever called you names, put you down, insulted you, and/or embarrassed you in front of others? 22] Do you feel like you never get anywhere when you try to communicate? 22] Do you spend large amounts of time preoccupied with what you've said or how it's interpreted? **If you answered "yes" to 3 or more questions you are experiencing dangerous signs of relationship abuse. Help is available. YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND RESPECT!! ALSO REMEMBER--YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Unfortunately, 25 - 50% of all young adult relationships involve some form of abuse. Often times these destructive relationship dynamics appear slowly over time and you do not realize you are being controlled and manipulated until you are deeply involved in the relationship. You may feel confused and scared about what is going on, but you need to deal with it because the abuse will likely get worse over time. Please find help and support for yourself. How to Help Yourself: You must realize the seriousness of the abuse and make your recovery the first priority in your life Talk to trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors to help support you as you entangle yourself from the relationship and regain your former self-esteem that has been temporarily stolen from you |
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Good thing to post Dennis...there are shelters for victims of domestic violence in almost every city; and if someone does not know where to turn they can see a family practitioner who can make the necessary referrals. At least in Florida every licensed medical practitioner must take a course in domestic violence every 2 years when they renew their medical license. I would assume the situation would be the same in most states. He is no fool if he should choose to lose the things he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose.....Jim Elliott Deena 
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9/15/2008 6:28 am |
I've seen abusive relationships in my family, we all saw the signs and we tried to make my sister understand, we tried to help her and her kids, the type of woman or men who allow this type of thing to happen is in serious need of serious professional help, these women do not want to see or hear even after things get much worse, I've seen my sister's personality charge before my eyes, she is not longer the same person that I grew up with, not after the last beating that left her unconscious for days while my little nephew almost starved, the police had to break down the door to rescue him and they fund my sister on the floor blading still and operantly she had been by her own husband. Women who get involved in this type of relationship are as sick as the perpetuator, we often don't see how sick these women are becouse we pity them and we feel sorry for them, but they need serious help, they are emotionally sick. Life is an adventure.
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Good thing to post Dennis...there are shelters for victims of domestic violence in almost every city; and if someone does not know where to turn they can see a family practitioner who can make the necessary referrals. At least in Florida every licensed medical practitioner must take a course in domestic violence every 2 years when they renew their medical license. I would assume the situation would be the same in most states. Deena Thanks Deena and Ithink it makes us all think when its out there in black and white
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I've seen abusive relationships in my family, we all saw the signs and we tried to make my sister understand, we tried to help her and her kids, the type of woman or men who allow this type of thing to happen is in serious need of serious professional help, these women do not want to see or hear even after things get much worse, I've seen my sister's personality charge before my eyes, she is not longer the same person that I grew up with, not after the last beating that left her unconscious for days while my little nephew almost starved, the police had to break down the door to rescue him and they fund my sister on the floor blading still and operantly she had been by her own husband. Women who get involved in this type of relationship are as sick as the perpetuator, we often don't see how sick these women are becouse we pity them and we feel sorry for them, but they need serious help, they are emotionally sick. ~ Independence Thank You for sharing. No one can reall understand unless they have some type of experience in some way regarding this. Some people unfortunately think it cant happen.
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3735 posts View my blog 9/15/2008 5:24 pm [Add a comment] [quote][respond] This is exactly the kind of relationship I was in with my ex. Unfortunately, we lived in a very small town and there was no help available. It took me a year to build up the courage to leave. Too bad I didn't heed the signs that were evident BEFORE we got married! And for the record, just because I was in this type of relationship DOESN'T MAKE ME A SICK PERSON!!!!! I needed help. I KNEW I needed help. But I COULDN'T GET help until I left him and came back home. Unless a person has LIVED this kind of life they DON'T KNOW what it's like to be in it! Thank God that He saved me from the nightmare and I am now living a good life! Joy Thank You Joy and I am thankful you are out of all of that
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Loki: 1.I seem to be an overexpresser 2.You mean my Ex-Partner cause that is what they will be if they continue to talk this way to me. 3.Only if they really are meant to be funny. 4.Are you talking about a partner or an infant? 5.No but I might second guess my choice in a partner. 7.No,some are real good at making excuses for themselves.It's not neccesary to do that for them. {although my answers were serious as to how I'd react} On a more critical note Dennis this is a serious problem with some, who for whatever the reason,have little esteem.As a child of God we should know that we are valuable because of the high price God paid for us.Therefore God gave us worth when He purchased us with the blood of His Son Jesus. Thanks for getting the word out about this problem. us Thanks for sharing. If it werent for it happening here with people we care about, perhaps It would not have gotten mentioned. Dennis
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Pawspal: Dennis I think I will take this one like I do oceanblues. 1.I feel like that in every area of my life except here on bc. 2.YEs he did before he left me...again 3.that I think I was more guilty of .. because he messed up so much. 4.Demanding as like a child wanting things. 5.What friends and social activity?? 6.Most defiantly!!! 7.Most defiantly!!! 8.not really 9.Always, new and more expensive things to teach me a 'lesson' 10.again I was guilty of that due to his irresponsibility actions 11.ummmm... no he had NO interests in anything along those lines 12.kinda sometimes 13.He didn't care about that 14.Criticized and threatened to do great harm to them too. 15.Almost always, almost everyone. 16.Most defiantly!!!! 17.Somewhat, and no 18.YEs he did. through anger. 19.I think he knew better than do that...made that clear from the beginning. 20.Many many times!!! 21.very often!!! 22.yes 23.yes Thank you for sharing and it shows the painful experience that you have had and may you be completely healed Blessings, Dennis
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Dennis, what is described here was that of my ex husband to a tee! I answered no to every question with my Beloved. He is the exact opposite to what I am used to, yet I don't believe that I would have met him had it not been for the deep healing that the Lord took me through before meeting him and the continued healing that is taking place through him also. It is definately a different life I am living now, and I praise God who bought me out of that! Blessings The body of Christ is like a patchwork quilt! All stitched together with God's love.
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Lou: Dennis, what is described here was that of my ex husband to a tee! I answered no to every question with my Beloved. He is the exact opposite to what I am used to, yet I don't believe that I would have met him had it not been for the deep healing that the Lord took me through before meeting him and the continued healing that is taking place through him also. It is definately a different life I am living now, and I praise God who bought me out of that! Blessings I am so very happy for the complete transformation he is doing in your life! Its always exciting to hear your joy and proclamation.
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Pawspal, I am so glad you are encouraged
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