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When I find myself in my bleakest moments, these words are a lasting comfort and a reminder that no matter how dead-end or hopeless a situation may seem, it is still part of the master plan I can't see. I cannot see the purpose for pain, but I know it exists , and I trust the One who is Lord over every aspect of my life (right down to helping me find my car keys in the morning!) to reveal His plan at the proper time. I have often asked Him if that plan includes a lifelong love relationship for me, and to date all I have heard back is silence. I know I have been DISsuaded from pursuing several possible relationships (you can ask me about divine intervention later; all I'll say now is He really has a sense of humor!), which must mean that the one He has in mind is still out there somewhere.
The hope that sustains me in this search is the same hope on which I live day to day. Following the death of my father in 2003 it was long in returning, and I am infinetely thankful to have it back; if not in the full measure in which I used to enjoy it, at least in SOME measure! I have a naturally buoyant spirit, and yet losing my Dad was an incredible blow. I am still recovering in many ways, but as I draw further away from the pain itself, I can see tantalizing hints of its purpose in my life. It's like watching a game of chess unfold where you can see the motion of the pieces, but not the player, and you still dont' know the final outcome.
I suppose after all that a bit about my actual self is in order, eh? =) I am a musician (performer/teacher/composer), equally strong in both classical and jazz training. I am currently studying for my BA in Vocal Performance, and I work as an Assistant Manager and Sales Representative for a national marketing company in the summers. I love dogs, s, cooking, reading, watching movies, hiking, camping, and just being out in God's great creation. My friends would probably describe me as "intelligent, perfectionistic (less these days), verbal, extraverted, spontaneous (i.e., random), driven, enthusiastic, kind-hearted, and stubborn". I myself would throw "intuitive", "creative", "industrious" and "indomitable" on that list!
Some of my flaws:
I don't always think before I speak. I am impulsive, and have been known to act without thinking things all the way through. When I get fixated on an idea it's hard to let it go, even in the name of compromise. I sometimes forget that others don't have my same stamina for conversation/love of words. I can bee too quick to judge. When I'm angry, I need to talk it out, and often this means finding someone patient enough to just listen for an hour or two while I ride my emotional rollercoaster and solve my own problems . . . I've been told it can be tiring to be that per!
Some of my good traits:
I laugh; a lot! Undergirding everything I do is a genuine care and concern for people, and although I can be thoughtless at times I would NEVER hurt anyone intentionally. I sing in the shower; and everywhere else! I love to cook for friends and family (really! It's part of my "love language".) I am fiercely loyal to friends, and will drop what I'm doing to help a friend in crisis. I DO know how to listen. I am a good communicator. I feel very deeply, and think very critically.
Well, enough about me. Let's talk about you, shall we? =D
My Ideal Person
At this time I am looking for a dating relationship with a man who shares my core values and Christian worldview. Although I DO want long-term romance and commitment in my life, I have several major life goals to accomplish before I settle down, and have allotted myself several years to accomplish them. Still, His ways are not my ways . . . so you never know!
I am searching for what I have begun to believe is an irreconcilable dichotomy; a man who can both celebrate my strength and independence, and at the same time stand up to me and win when it counts. I need the give-and-take of being able to talk and listen. Ideally, my Mr. Right will be a few years older than myself, an on his way to achieving at least one major dream or goal. He will also know SOMETHING about music!
I have no ideal physical "type", although I am a man for sparkling blue or soulful brown eyes, and I do have a thing for hair I can run my fingers through (as opposed to hair I would impale my hand on; I'm sure you know the difference!)
If you like what you've read so far, drop me a line and we'll see where it goes!
Favorite films:
The Hours, Steel Magnolias, X-Men, Contact, Lord of the
Rings
What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Jane Monheit, Mannheim Steamroller, Ella Fitzgerald,
Sinatra, James Taylor, Simon & Garfunkle
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