|
|
Rose is Having an Affair!
“Did you hear about Rose? She’s having
an affair!”
She was exposed so that the whole community could see her
filth and depravity. Her face was covered with ... |
1 |
6 |
2 |
3.81 |
9/9/2009 5:11 pm |
|
|
Breaking a bad habit
How many times have you tried to quit a bad habit? I have heard
it takes 3 tries before you make it. When people ask me how I quit smoking & never took it
up again I tell them this short story. ... |
1 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
6/18/2009 3:13 pm |
|
|
WET PANTS
Come with me to a third grade classroom.There is a nine-year-old
kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle
between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks
his ... |
1 |
7 |
4 |
4.02 |
3/14/2009 7:04 pm |
|
|
A Man Was Complaining
Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so hard, meantime
my wife stays at home, I would give anything if you would
grant me one wish "switch me into my wife" she's
got it easy at home I want to ... |
3 |
17 |
5 |
4.12 |
9/9/2008 2:44 pm |
|
|
The Old you or The New you
THE OLD YOU OR THE NEW YOU
when you are bornagain(derliverence conducted) the old
man leaves it looks for where it will rest if it does not find
it will say i will go back to my old house it ... |
0 |
4 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/23/2008 8:54 am |
|
|
who to marry
first of all that special person must be content with who
you are and not try to remold you. suggestions are ok just
not demands. two people must enjoy the same style of music.
and two people must be ... |
2 |
30 |
9 |
1.93 |
5/3/2008 11:08 am |
|
|
Did you hear about....
I read a poll that was taken a few years ago around 2000. The
poll was taken of 2000 married couples that had been united
over 50 years. Remarkably 71 percent said after the first
meerting they could ... |
2 |
34 |
10 |
3.78 |
4/19/2008 6:20 pm |
|
|
nutritional
What is the best vitimin for a christian? ... |
2 |
14 |
2 |
2.42 |
4/3/2008 8:14 pm |
|
|
Christian Pick up lines (Not written by me)
1. "nice bible."
2. "is this pew taken?"
3. "i just don't feel called to celibacy."
4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"
5. "i would go through more than Job for ... |
5 |
57 |
8 |
3.01 |
3/31/2008 3:53 am |
|
|
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes
the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like
it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming. -- Alan, age ... |
4 |
45 |
7 |
5.33 |
3/15/2008 3:36 pm |
onah, 22 F
2/14/2008 2:52 pm
2
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
LOVE NO LIGHT2
3.The third group falls into the partners that have complex
issues i.e.inferiority and superiority.(a)Inferior
complexed partners have great love but it comes with great
insecurities that they take ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
2/14/2008 2:52 pm |
onah, 22 F
2/14/2008 7:33 am
2
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
LOVE NO LIGHT......
Love has never been much of a light from my personal experience
it has always ended in a mirage or a miracle.The way it's
been handled in this times it's now the most uncertain
business to get ... |
1 |
18 |
3 |
2.45 |
2/14/2008 7:33 am |
|
|
What Day Was It??
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,
"I'll bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do, " he answered as if he was offended,
and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the ... |
0 |
26 |
10 |
2.79 |
2/2/2008 8:50 pm |
|
|
Dear Future Son-in Law:
Dear Future Son-in Law:
I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to
break off her engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your ... |
1 |
39 |
8 |
5.10 |
1/16/2008 3:06 pm |
|
|
thinking
by the time a man realizes that maybe his father was wright
he usualy has a son that thinks he is ... |
1 |
27 |
2 |
4.50 |
1/16/2008 5:39 am |
|
|
HIV Test:
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to
be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should
be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we
heard on ... |
0 |
33 |
8 |
0.00 |
11/16/2007 9:50 am |
|
|
Hard of Hearing:
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used
to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite
sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to
discuss the problem. The ... |
0 |
36 |
6 |
2.80 |
11/15/2007 9:01 am |
|
|
Too Late:
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the
young lady decided she had been stood up. Exasperated,
she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers,
fixed some popcorn and ... |
0 |
29 |
4 |
1.69 |
11/15/2007 7:46 am |
|
|
"When NOT to Accept a Proposal, For Women"
Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of
these questions should consider carefully before accepting
a proposal of marriage.
On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you ... |
3 |
54 |
12 |
2.45 |
11/15/2007 7:17 am |
|
|
"When NOT to Propose, For Men"
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these
questions should consider carefully before proposing
marriage.
In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that
square thing?" ... |
0 |
12 |
4 |
0.00 |
11/15/2007 7:15 am |
|
|
Words Women Use, OK Men Don't Say I Didn't Warn You
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they
are Right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half
an hour. Five minutes is only ... |
3 |
39 |
10 |
2.99 |
11/14/2007 2:28 pm |
|
|
Gaining Weight
Two co-workers were pregnant at the same time and often
teased each other about gaining weight. After one doctor's visit, one of them asked her friend
how much weight she had gained. ... |
0 |
16 |
3 |
0.00 |
11/11/2007 2:12 pm |
|
|
Careful What You Wish For:
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for
a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten ... |
1 |
21 |
2 |
1.73 |
11/7/2007 5:48 pm |
|
|
Dates and Anniversaries
Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends
and relatives birthdays and anniversaries, I decided
to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted
on screen when the ... |
0 |
6 |
2 |
0.00 |
11/3/2007 6:54 am |
|
|
Men Are Like Fine Wine, From A Woman's Point Of View
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes,
and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the
dark until they mature into something you'd like to
have dinner ... |
2 |
26 |
5 |
1.19 |
11/1/2007 6:34 pm |
|
|
Why The Ladies Are Single?
In chatting with my lady friends I have found out quite a
few reasons as to why some of them are still single. Below
are some of the reasons that I have been given, hahahaha,
enjoy, cheers. ...
|
6 |
63 |
22 |
3.73 |
11/1/2007 6:26 pm |
|
|
Grandma And Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Washington to Florida
to attend their granddaughter's graduation from medical school.
Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of
their sons in ... |
5 |
45 |
7 |
3.30 |
10/30/2007 8:15 am |
|
|
Hello Ladies, Some Lines To Help You Turn Down Guys That Are Turning You Off
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a
face like yours! SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking
for a face like yours!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I'd ... |
1 |
25 |
2 |
4.50 |
10/25/2007 9:07 am |
|
|
Men Never Seem To Learn Not To Mess With Women
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of crabs.
A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in
the crew's refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her ... |
5 |
34 |
10 |
2.99 |
10/24/2007 6:22 am |
|
|
Why You Shouldn't Take Your Husband Shopping:
This is why women should not take men shopping against their
will. After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted
her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. ... |
0 |
12 |
4 |
5.57 |
10/23/2007 7:10 pm |
|
|
Definitions Of A Bachelor
One who avoids Bride-Eyed women. One who believes in Life, Liberty and the Happiness of Pursuit.
One who believes that one can live as cheaply as two. One who can forget his mistakes. One who can get ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
10/22/2007 6:43 am |
|
|
He Didn't Like: For The Ladies
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard.
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
3.70 |
10/17/2007 4:20 pm |
|
|
A Woman's Prayer.
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love
and to forgive him and for patience, for his moods. Because
Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to ... |
2 |
24 |
9 |
5.56 |
10/16/2007 3:47 pm |
|
|
What Men Really Mean:
When a Man says:
"I'm going fishing."
Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream
with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
safety."
"It's a guy thing." ... |
0 |
15 |
3 |
1.47 |
10/9/2007 3:19 pm |
|
|
A True Story
I Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children
you will probably relate to this father.) As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of
ham on a fresh bun with crisp ... |
0 |
7 |
1 |
2.40 |
10/2/2007 6:07 am |
|
|
Golf in Heaven
God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf up in heaven.
On the first tee, JB leads off and hits a big blast right down
the gut; it rolls to a stop about 270 yards out, perfect lie.
Jesus steps ... |
2 |
39 |
3 |
4.41 |
9/25/2007 3:12 am |
|
|
Men of the cloth.....
Two Irishmen were sitting in a bar, watching the entrance
to the brothel across the street. A Baptist minister went
in, and one of the Irishmen said: "Ah, 'tis a shame
to see a man of the cloth goin' ... |
0 |
14 |
2 |
1.73 |
9/25/2007 1:58 am |
|
|
How Adam had it easy......
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man
she could have married. 2. He had no in-laws to drop in. 3. There was no Jones for him to keep up with. 4. There were no credit cards or ... |
1 |
13 |
4 |
4.02 |
9/25/2007 1:55 am |
|
|
How to sell a BIBLE
Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher
needed some people to go around and sell Bibles, so the preacher
hired two boys without even thinking twice. He was hesitant
about ... |
2 |
31 |
6 |
4.22 |
9/25/2007 1:53 am |
|
|
Happiest Man
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're
going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with ... |
0 |
15 |
0 |
0.00 |
9/16/2007 1:58 pm |
|
|
Alheizmer's Moment
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering
things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked
out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the ... |
0 |
17 |
3 |
5.39 |
9/6/2007 8:11 am |
|
|
The Honeymoon Is Over
Please excuse the rough language in the following story.
I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn't be
the same. A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got ... |
0 |
17 |
3 |
4.41 |
9/4/2007 10:19 am |
|
|
What Does Love Mean?
What does Love mean? Well below I have listed the responses
of a group of children between the ages of 4 and 8, to entertain
you. Some of there answers may surprise you or go deeper
then some ... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
5.20 |
9/2/2007 1:23 pm |
|
|
Grandma's Boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting,
he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't
have a boyfriend now that ... |
0 |
20 |
5 |
5.43 |
8/23/2007 4:35 pm |
|
|
Dr's Visit
A woman in her fifties is at home, unclothed, happily jumping
on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you
have any idea how ridiculous you look? ... |
2 |
30 |
2 |
5.20 |
8/23/2007 2:53 am |
|
|
How To Make A Woman Happy?
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
needs to be:
a friend a companion a lover a brother a father a master a chef an electrician a carpenter a plumber a mechanic a decorator ... |
5 |
39 |
10 |
3.78 |
8/10/2007 6:21 pm |
|
|
It Pays Not To Complain
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 ... |
6 |
34 |
17 |
4.40 |
8/9/2007 2:50 pm |
|
|
On lIne Dating, Players, Booty Calls and MAYHEM
I am as I am and almost never change the pattern of thoughts
that I have accustomed that are uniquely ME, myself. and
I.....At the RIPE old age of 56, .......I freely admit that
the new way of ... |
6 |
50 |
19 |
4.84 |
8/3/2007 10:57 pm |
|
|
How To Ask A Man To Do Something
Always remember these important rules when asking a man
to do something:
Make sure the man is conscious.
Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage
with the sports ... |
0 |
10 |
2 |
4.50 |
7/31/2007 12:23 pm |
|
|
Comeback Lines For The Ladies To Use On Unwanted Men
M: I know how to please a woman. W: Then please leave me alone.
M: I want to give myself to you. W: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
M: Your hair color is fabulous. W: Thank you. ... |
0 |
7 |
3 |
4.90 |
7/27/2007 9:13 pm |
|
|
Ways To Turn Down Unwanted Men
HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for
a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking
for a face ... |
0 |
5 |
3 |
4.90 |
7/23/2007 8:50 pm |
|
|
Marriage, Before And After
BEFORE THE MARRIAGE:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! She: ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/20/2007 7:29 pm |
|
|
A Daughter-in-law's Revenge
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's
face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that
they couldn't graft any skin from his body because
he was too skinny. So ... |
4 |
35 |
7 |
5.33 |
7/20/2007 12:03 am |
|
|
Romance, Senior Style
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband
was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk. She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
... |
0 |
7 |
2 |
5.20 |
7/18/2007 9:31 pm |
|
|
Love In The Mental Hospital
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want
them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with
all they have. Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One
day while they were ... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
7/18/2007 12:58 pm |
|
|
Husband Vs. Wife
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a ... |
3 |
31 |
5 |
5.10 |
7/13/2007 9:48 pm |
|
|
Words Women Use
OK men I am still trying to help you out here, hahaha. These
are words that women use and I am trying to warn you as to how
to avoid arguments if you can remember the terminology
of the words. ... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
5.20 |
7/13/2007 12:14 pm |
|
|
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how
you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be ... |
0 |
9 |
2 |
5.20 |
7/12/2007 8:03 pm |
|
|
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for ... |
0 |
7 |
2 |
5.20 |
7/10/2007 4:25 pm |
|
|
CHRISTIAN PICK - UP LINES...........
1. Nice bible"
2. "I would like to pray with you"
3. "You know Jesus? Me too!"
4. "God told me to come talk to you"
5. "I know a church where we could go and ...
|
1 |
18 |
5 |
4.12 |
7/10/2007 3:42 am |
|
|
50th Wedding Anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding
anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's
getting sentimental because they're celebrating
50 ... |
0 |
9 |
2 |
4.50 |
7/9/2007 7:21 pm |
|
|
If You Want To Upset Your Man, Here Are A Few Ways To Do It
Tell him he has to recite a Shakespeare love sonnet before
you agree to date him.
Tell him his brother is a better looking.
Take the remote control apart and damage the circuit ... |
0 |
9 |
3 |
4.41 |
7/9/2007 7:20 pm |
|
|
BEST BUDDY
I'VE JUST WON A COMPETITION FOR ME AND 10 MATES TO GO
TO FIJI FOR 2 WEEKS +$1, 000 EACH TO SPEND! AS YOU AND I GO
BACK A LONG WAY I WAS WONDERING-WOULD YOU PUT MY BIN OUT ON ... |
1 |
31 |
1 |
3.70 |
7/5/2007 4:45 pm |
|
|
TO MY SWEETHEART
I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU SOMETHING HOT'SEXY FOR CHRISTMAS
BUT THE POSTMAN TOLD ME TO TAKE THE STAMPS OFF MY BUTT AND
GET THE HECK OUT OF THE ... |
1 |
33 |
1 |
5.00 |
7/5/2007 4:42 pm |
|
|
busted
a man was speeding down the road when he was caught on a radar
by the police when they started giving chase he panicked
and took off the police eventually caught up and pulled
him over the policeman ... |
1 |
34 |
3 |
5.39 |
7/5/2007 4:39 pm |
|
|
Tonight's Funny For You, Not Appropriate For All
This is apparently a true story which occurred very recently
in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt. The Operative
received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific
Islander who it ... |
4 |
33 |
3 |
4.90 |
7/4/2007 8:25 pm |
|
|
Want Ads For A Wife
FISHERMAN: Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook
worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please
send photograph of Boat & Motor.
SALESMAN: Once in a lifetime offer, to ... |
0 |
6 |
2 |
4.50 |
7/4/2007 3:37 pm |
|
|
A Love Story
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When
she went before the judge, he asked her, "What did
you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had ... |
5 |
49 |
4 |
5.19 |
6/29/2007 10:00 am |
|
|
Exercise: To Heck With It!
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she
was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the
heck she is.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could
hear heavy ... |
4 |
24 |
3 |
5.39 |
6/29/2007 8:39 am |
|
|
There's a duck in the Toilet... Or the problem with sin
Many people have asked why I chose the name Jabber Wocky.
It is the name I use when teaching at Christian Camps. Later
Lewis Carroll stole the name and wrote a really cool poem
about a boy slaying a ... |
4 |
39 |
5 |
2.82 |
6/28/2007 10:58 pm |
|
|
How To Tell If A Fly Is Male Or Female
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking
around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?"
She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked. ... |
0 |
9 |
4 |
4.41 |
6/28/2007 12:08 pm |
|
|
Will The Real Bride Please Stand Up!
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between
them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter, "
said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter, " said
the other. ... |
4 |
37 |
5 |
5.75 |
6/20/2007 1:34 pm |
|
|
The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1.Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again,
are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in ... |
7 |
140 |
10 |
4.18 |
6/15/2007 10:47 pm |
|
|
Two Old Guys
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart When
they collide. The first old guy says to the Second guy, "Sorry
about that. I'm looking for my Wife, and I guess I wasn't
paying attention to ... |
4 |
25 |
4 |
4.41 |
6/14/2007 7:07 pm |
|
|
A Letter To Dad
Dear Dad: In answer to the questions you have asked over the years:
1. Yes, I thought we owned the electric company. 2. I don't know what the heck I thought I was doing. 3. Yes, I actually did think ... |
3 |
28 |
2 |
4.50 |
6/14/2007 11:18 am |
|
|
Gutted
Don't you just hate it when you write to someone every
day for 4 or 5 months and you think this is your soul mate and
then they ask for money then it dawns on you, this person
that you thought was ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
6/11/2007 7:57 pm |
|
|
Drunks
Two drunks sat on the shore watching a surfer. and discussed.
1:"That must be difficult, don´t you think?"
2:"It might be" 1:"Looks like he´s gonna fall!" 2:"Yeah..it might be" 1:"Oh look, he fell, ... |
0 |
22 |
1 |
2.40 |
5/14/2007 2:26 pm |
|
|
Young priest
A young preast was speaking for the first time in church,
His teacher was listening carefully, looking a bit concernd
time to time. Finally, the young preast came to his teacher
gloving of pride. "It ... |
7 |
123 |
13 |
2.30 |
5/14/2007 1:55 pm |
|
|
Aeroflot
Aeroflot must be announced as an holy company..everyone
prays ... |
0 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/14/2007 1:41 pm |
|
|
Bishops visit
This really happened.
It was a sunny sunday, people waited silently in church,
It was a glorious moment for that little community, Bishop
was about to speak any moment now. And finally he ... |
0 |
64 |
4 |
1.69 |
5/14/2007 1:13 pm |
|
|
Revenge
A sourcerer walked across the bridge of seven blacksmithstatues
and thought "what good deed would i do today".
She looked at the seven statues and got it ! "those
poor guys have been standing there ... |
1 |
24 |
1 |
1.10 |
5/10/2007 11:14 pm |
|
|
To make you smile
This story was first told by my pastor. I'm sure he wouldn't
mind if I share it with you, for he does enjoy making others
laugh.
A husband had been preaching at the same church for 20 ... |
5 |
221 |
20 |
3.89 |
5/9/2007 5:24 pm |
|
|
Just A Weeeeeee Bit
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility
to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful
children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began to search ... |
10 |
212 |
27 |
5.13 |
4/20/2007 6:28 pm |
|
|
Science has replaced God?
The scientific community decided that with all the advances
in science and medicine, God was no longer needed. So, a
representative was sent to inform God that His services
were no longer needed. ... |
3 |
75 |
19 |
4.57 |
3/29/2007 8:27 pm |
|
|
Take your pick, Heaven or Hell
A politician died and was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.
St Peter said, I am not sure what to do with you as we don't
normally get your kind here. Is heaven where you want to
spend ... |
6 |
221 |
34 |
4.86 |
3/20/2007 8:25 pm |
|
|
Germination
Sooo... I was teaching the busy 9 year old boy about the life
cycle of a plant. We covered the parts of the plant, pollination
and seeds. It seemed like he was listening but he kept bouncing
around ... |
2 |
99 |
10 |
2.99 |
3/9/2007 11:24 pm |
|
|
HE-BREWS...
WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up
first, and then we don't ... |
7 |
172 |
25 |
4.46 |
3/4/2007 9:44 am |
|
|
On The Lighter Side
One evening, a young woman came home from a date, rather
sad. She told her mother, "roger proposed to me an
hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her
mother asked. "Because he also told me he is ... |
10 |
251 |
32 |
3.43 |
2/15/2007 7:14 pm |
|
|
Drunks
A minister went down to the corner bar and would talk to people
as they came out- "Brother, Do you want to go to heaven?
Sister, do you want to go to heaven? Step right over here."
One ... |
7 |
170 |
24 |
5.29 |
2/9/2007 12:33 am |
|
|
JESUS BUMPER STICKER
JESUS BUMPER STICKER
The other day I went to the local religious book store and
I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm ... |
9 |
230 |
31 |
3.53 |
2/4/2007 11:40 pm |
|
|
women rulers
One day, there was a catastrophic event which caused all
living creatures on earth to die. To sort things out, everyone
went to heaven. God approaches and says, "I want the
men to make two lines. ... |
12 |
248 |
33 |
5.63 |
1/30/2007 3:24 am |
|
|
Indian Chief
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked
their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold
or mild. He had never been taught the old secrets. When he
looked at the sky, ... |
6 |
120 |
21 |
5.72 |
1/25/2007 1:12 pm |
|
|
Teeth
An elderly couple toddled into the local McDonalds and
ordered one combo meal. The wife carefully cut the sandwich
in two and began to eat her half. The husband respectfully
sat and watched.
... |
4 |
263 |
37 |
5.27 |
1/23/2007 6:49 pm |
|
|
Flying Blind
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial
airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show
up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in ... |
9 |
213 |
31 |
4.87 |
1/20/2007 5:11 am |
|
|
Sailor and the Pirate
The sailor & the pirate
.
This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn't
help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly - the worse
for wear. He's had a peg leg, and a ... |
8 |
137 |
28 |
5.09 |
1/20/2007 5:08 am |
|
|
Monastery Secrets
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, my
car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?
The monks ... |
2 |
67 |
7 |
3.30 |
1/19/2007 12:39 am |
|
|
Out of the mouths of babes.
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a
Classroom. The teacher was going to explain
Evolution to the children. The teacher asked
A little boy: Tommy do you see the tree Outside?
...
|
0 |
52 |
6 |
5.36 |
1/15/2007 12:36 am |
|
|
One Liners
Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to
go on.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
You have the capacity ... |
0 |
55 |
10 |
5.38 |
1/13/2007 6:05 pm |
malc, 38 M
1/13/2007 2:13 pm
1
Article,
Score
0.0
|
|
Genesis 3
Adam and Eve just booted out of the garden. Adam turns to
Eve and says,
'You and your high fibre ... |
2 |
96 |
12 |
2.98 |
1/13/2007 2:13 pm |
|
|
Is this what I have to look forward to?
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed,
hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel,
smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well
looked-after ... |
4 |
103 |
19 |
3.78 |
1/5/2007 1:32 pm |
8455, 34 M
12/27/2006 4:05 pm
13
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
If I Can Make You Smile Then I Got You
Humor is one of the most important things in a relationship.
The man or woman usually has more fun with the person who
has a sense of humor, rather then a pocket full of money.
Have you
ever ... |
13 |
173 |
42 |
4.70 |
12/27/2006 4:05 pm |
|
|
Starting, Stopping, and Starting Over
It's funny when you think about what we go through to
find a connection with someone. If we desire to find a person,
we don't find them. If we don't want someone in
our life at a particular ... |
7 |
113 |
22 |
5.05 |
12/24/2006 12:56 pm |
|
|
A WALK IN EDEN
-God and Adam were walking in the garden,
when Adam said, "Hey God I have a question."
-God replied, "yes."
-Adam asked, "I really appreciate You creating Eve
and all, she's ... |
7 |
189 |
29 |
3.74 |
12/23/2006 4:50 pm |
|
|
Gathering Walnuts
Two boys were walking along by the cemetery gathering walnuts
when one of them decided to collect more in the graveyard
itself. While walking up a steep hill, their bucket tipped
over and some of ... |
3 |
79 |
17 |
5.53 |
12/20/2006 1:24 pm |
|
|
Jonah in the Whale
A teacher was instructing a 2nd grade class on Bible passages.
In discussing Jonah, the teacher stated that it was actually
impossible for a man to survive in the belly of a whale.
Upon ... |
0 |
49 |
11 |
4.29 |
12/19/2006 2:30 pm |
|
|
The pastors horse
The pastor answered a knock at the door to find a man from
his congregation had car trouble nearby. The man asked
if he could borrow his car, but the pastor said, "it
is not here but you can ... |
4 |
99 |
19 |
4.71 |
12/11/2006 5:29 am |
|
|
Single Mom's ... telephones ...
I was driving my children on a short out of town trip today
when I got a call from a really nice single guy. We were just
talking about how our days were going when ... thank God
he already knows ... |
4 |
118 |
15 |
2.98 |
12/7/2006 12:05 am |
|
|
Funny quotes 4 man
There are two periods in a man's life when he doesn't
understand women--before marriage & after marriage
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
while a man ... |
0 |
58 |
9 |
4.92 |
11/29/2006 9:20 am |
|
|
Marriage
Remember what the guy asked his wife? He said, "How
come God made you women so beautiful & yet so dumb?"
Remember her wise answer? "Beautiful enough so you'll
want to marry us, & dumb enough for ... |
0 |
49 |
9 |
3.85 |
11/29/2006 8:08 am |
quin5, 39 M
11/17/2006 11:59 am
3
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
behold i come quickly.
During one sunday service, a pastor started preaching
a message entitled the coming of the lord, and during the
course of the sermon, he forgot his words and said behold
i come quickly, and he ... |
2 |
93 |
13 |
2.14 |
11/17/2006 11:59 am |
|
|
another oldie
There was a very fine upstanding christian man, who fervently
believed god with his whole heart. After days of rain, the
flood waters got very high around his house, and he had to
move up to the ... |
3 |
73 |
13 |
2.98 |
11/15/2006 3:29 pm |
|
|
A conversation between God and Adam
Not original with me, sorry if you have heard it
One day God and Adam were walking in the garden in the cool
of the day. God asks Adam, "well Adam, how do you like
Eve?"
Adam replies " well ... |
5 |
114 |
18 |
4.08 |
11/8/2006 6:56 pm |
|
|
My most embarrassing moment... trumps the profile answer
I was prepared this morning. I had my Sunday School lesson
all planned. I even had a Star Wars book for my son to read
in "Big Church." Sunday School was a blast.
It seems like these high school ... |
0 |
62 |
4 |
3.63 |
11/5/2006 11:53 pm |
|
|
A Great Prayer
Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut
us off in traffic last night is a single father who worked
nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help
with homework, do ... |
4 |
89 |
12 |
4.92 |
10/19/2006 1:15 am |
|
|
Cyanide Please
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she
needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she ... |
6 |
183 |
29 |
4.34 |
10/13/2006 2:21 am |
|
|
BACK SEAT COOK
A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter!
Oh my God! You're cooking too ... |
26 |
567 |
135 |
3.21 |
10/13/2006 2:12 am |
|
|
FOR WOMEN ONLY
A group of girlfriends go on vacation and they see a five-story
hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only."
Since they are without their boyfriends, they decide to
go in.
The ... |
14 |
383 |
35 |
4.82 |
10/13/2006 2:02 am |
|
|
Pregnant wife/girlfriend
If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to
avoid saying these:
"Sure you'll get your figure back. We'll
just search 1985 to see where you left it."
"How come ... |
1 |
102 |
14 |
0.26 |
10/13/2006 1:59 am |
|
|
Diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D
Diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D
I received this message this morning. Don't this sound
a little normal to most of us?
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. . -AGE ... |
4 |
98 |
13 |
5.32 |
10/7/2006 6:34 am |
|
|
Eve???
I wonder if this is how it happened...
One day, Adam was walking through the Garden of Eden, admiring
God's work, petting the animals and enjoying the breathtaking ... |
8 |
220 |
30 |
5.30 |
9/24/2006 5:56 am |
|
|
Taking a bath
Oneday after a long day at work, my mate and I decided to
take a bath together, we ran the water to a lukewarm temperature, and
slipped in the tub together;as we sat together soaking
in the tub, ... |
12 |
218 |
62 |
0.00 |
9/22/2006 10:14 am |
|
|
A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM
"While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's
office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into
the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the
man sat there, alone and silent. ... |
10 |
212 |
54 |
4.35 |
9/20/2006 12:30 pm |
|
|
HAPPY BUDDIES DAY!
HAPPY BUDDIES DAY!!!
Don't you know the phrase "stop and smell the
flowers"?
Happiness Keeps You Sweet,
Trials Keep You Strong,
Sorrows Keep You Human,
... |
0 |
47 |
4 |
3.25 |
9/19/2006 5:21 pm |
job1, 48 F
9/16/2006 10:30 pm
3
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
computers in heaven
Bill Gates arrives at the Pearly Gates and tells St Peter
"If you want I can set you up a Windows Network up here
to help organize things"
St Peter replys "We cant possibly have a Windows Network ... |
2 |
94 |
17 |
3.41 |
9/16/2006 10:30 pm |
|
|
Old Age
Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things ... |
9 |
159 |
22 |
3.37 |
9/16/2006 8:29 pm |
|
|
TEXANS IN HEAVEN
Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to
you. We have some
Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're
swinging on
the pearly gates, my horn is ... |
1 |
73 |
5 |
2.49 |
9/16/2006 3:57 pm |
|
|
ATtitUDE
Attitude - Elephant and Leo The Lion
Leo was a lion and wanted everyone to know he was King of the
Jungle. So he went through the jungle reminding everyone
just who he was.
... |
1 |
45 |
2 |
2.42 |
9/16/2006 3:27 pm |
|
|
A small sevice in church
A husband and wife attend a small service at the local church
one Sunday morning. The man was very moved by the preacher's
sermon, so he stopped to shake the preacher's hand.
Reverend, that was ... |
14 |
248 |
40 |
0.00 |
9/15/2006 5:42 pm |
|
|
Viewing the painting
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting
of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look
at their reserve, their calm, " muses the Brit. "They
must be British."
... |
3 |
165 |
23 |
4.53 |
9/15/2006 1:41 pm |
|
|
The businessman and the Pope
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the
Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's
prayer from "give us this day our daily bread"
to "give us this day our daily ... |
2 |
63 |
7 |
3.30 |
9/15/2006 1:38 pm |
|
|
Now that reminds me
There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every
Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up to work
without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike
was so the first ... |
4 |
176 |
28 |
1.39 |
9/15/2006 1:31 pm |
|
|
A theory of creation
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule,
working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads
on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence.
You will live for 50 ... |
4 |
94 |
15 |
5.58 |
9/15/2006 1:24 pm |
|
|
In the circumstances
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee.
One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on
it!"
"I've been circumcised."
"What's that mean?"
"It means ... |
1 |
68 |
10 |
3.78 |
9/15/2006 1:15 pm |
|
|
Life in the old dog yet
This elderly couple is watching one of those television
preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera,
and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share
my healing powers with everyone ... |
2 |
104 |
5 |
2.82 |
9/15/2006 1:12 pm |
|
|
A plausable explanation
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after
eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking
up to the heavens he said, "Excuse me God, can I ask
you a few questions?" ... |
2 |
71 |
6 |
1.66 |
9/15/2006 1:03 pm |
|
|
Adding weight
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed
she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little
weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas, ... |
4 |
125 |
15 |
4.51 |
9/15/2006 6:02 am |
|
|
Retired Preacher
A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life
and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower,
he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising
a lawn ... |
6 |
120 |
22 |
2.41 |
9/15/2006 5:48 am |
|
|
Four Catholic Ladies
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first
one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he
walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic ... |
1 |
53 |
7 |
3.04 |
9/15/2006 5:39 am |
|
|
Sometimes I Just Don't Understand Anymore
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws
the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds,
then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this
a few more ... |
1 |
40 |
7 |
2.53 |
9/14/2006 7:23 pm |
|
|
Having Faith
There was this mountain climber who was climbing up a mountain
about a 250ft high. He was about 150 feet up when he slipped,
lost his footing and slipped to a 100ft. Left dangling just
holding a ... |
1 |
42 |
6 |
2.80 |
9/13/2006 4:21 am |
|
|
What Were They Thinking
The following are actual medical records inserts taken
from patients actual medical record charts.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his
airplane ran out of gas and ... |
10 |
153 |
24 |
2.22 |
9/9/2006 9:24 am |
|
|
Misunderstanding?!
A pastor and his wife got into a misunderstanding one morning
on his way to preach...he was disappointed that a lot of
his members were 'out' or 'busy' on Sundays
and not coming to the services. ... |
0 |
59 |
2 |
3.81 |
9/9/2006 6:24 am |
|
|
The Loving Husband
A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they
were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the
husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5, 000.00,
or you can bury her ... |
0 |
36 |
1 |
2.40 |
9/7/2006 1:07 pm |
|
|
Daddy, How Was I Born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how
was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you
will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together ... |
5 |
215 |
40 |
6.19 |
9/4/2006 4:27 pm |
|
|
The Hormone Hostage:
The Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month
when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life
in his own hands! This is a handy guide that ... |
6 |
78 |
15 |
4.36 |
9/1/2006 2:51 pm |
|
|
Things not to say on a date
"I really don't like this restaurant that much,
but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."
"I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs
on you."
"I used to ... |
16 |
234 |
43 |
2.48 |
9/1/2006 1:02 am |
|
|
Girlfriends
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. ... |
0 |
48 |
5 |
1.51 |
8/23/2006 2:06 am |
job1, 48 F
8/20/2006 12:59 am
3
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
Reality
An oldie but a goodie on thinking outside the square.
Two wildlife cameramen are hiding in the grass filming
a pride of Lions.
Suddenly the wind changes directions and a huge lion gets
a whif ... |
3 |
64 |
10 |
2.99 |
8/20/2006 12:59 am |
|
|
Time To Laugh
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor
to report that her husband was missing.
The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's
35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark ... |
4 |
103 |
26 |
4.21 |
8/19/2006 7:50 pm |
|
|
Baptizing a Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when
he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps
into the preacher. ... |
99 |
2821 |
680 |
3.46 |
8/19/2006 2:26 pm |
|
|
A father's terror
Dear Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have
been
remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness
in not
... |
0 |
20 |
1 |
3.70 |
8/18/2006 7:29 pm |
|
|
Facts
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful because you love her."
"Men always want to be a woman's first love --
women like to be a man's last romance."
... |
8 |
111 |
26 |
5.72 |
8/9/2006 6:12 am |
|
|
marriage
"The husband who wants a perfect marriage should
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist.
Then she told me the ... |
0 |
55 |
3 |
1.47 |
8/9/2006 6:06 am |
|
|
Is it true?
"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances
and ends by blocking his retreat."
... |
0 |
19 |
1 |
2.40 |
8/9/2006 6:02 am |
|
|
What Are Your Priorities?
What are Your Priorities? These are taken our of a book by
Sigmund Freud.
Five things are happening in your house at the same time.
In which sequence would you solve them?
1. ... |
3 |
74 |
7 |
3.04 |
8/6/2006 9:46 pm |
|
|
The Loving Husband
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker
told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for
$5, 000, or you can ... |
2 |
86 |
15 |
4.05 |
8/3/2006 10:29 pm |
|
|
There Is Hope For You Yet
A Little old lady was sitting on a park bench in Trailer Estates,
a Florida mobile home park. A man walked over and sits down
on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman ... |
0 |
62 |
8 |
4.41 |
8/1/2006 9:03 pm |
|
|
The Baptist Dog
A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog.
Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must
also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and
explained their needs. ... |
2 |
76 |
15 |
4.51 |
7/31/2006 10:06 pm |
|
|
Deuling Church Signs
The incoming pastor of a more liberal denomination was
warned by his predecessor that the conservative pastor
across the street had a strong hold on the small town, and
could bring trouble for ... |
3 |
93 |
9 |
3.00 |
7/27/2006 9:03 pm |
|
|
Celtic Blessing
"May the good Lord bless those
who love us!
May He turn the hearts of those who do not love us. And to those
whose hearts He cannot turn, may He turn their ankles, so
we may ... |
2 |
67 |
7 |
2.02 |
7/27/2006 8:53 pm |
|
|
WOMEN
"If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's
12. If she tells you she's 26 and looks 26, she's
damn near 40."
... |
3 |
114 |
10 |
0.00 |
7/25/2006 12:34 am |
|
|
illustration on post modernism
couple of Australian sailors arrived in British soil and
had heavy drink. they walked wobbly on feet. And they asked
to an Army officer, a highly decorated naval , sir; can u
tell us where we are? ... |
0 |
34 |
5 |
3.47 |
7/24/2006 5:17 am |
|
|
4 Sentences for The Perfect Marriage
I recently attended my cousins wedding. In order to give
the groom some advice on how to make a marriage perfect,
the father of the bride was consulted. Apparently, a man
only needs to know 4 ... |
3 |
163 |
18 |
3.53 |
7/23/2006 5:07 pm |
|
|
Old Men
A sweet little old lady surprised the young social worker
that was interviewing her when she volunteered, "
I do believe in sex on the first date you know. " "That's pretty modern thinking ... |
0 |
60 |
5 |
2.82 |
7/22/2006 1:31 pm |
|
|
Smile For The Camera !!!
Several years ago I went to have my picture taken for my husband
for Valentine's Day.My sister was with me and so was
my little nephew.When the guy was taking the picture he
told me to say "sex" ... |
8 |
198 |
13 |
2.14 |
7/18/2006 7:21 pm |
|
|
Watching You
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD
player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice
echoed from the ... |
3 |
115 |
20 |
5.93 |
7/14/2006 8:09 pm |
|
|
Best Friends...
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!
A man's best friend is his dog!
That about explains the difference right there...... |
3 |
122 |
6 |
1.94 |
7/13/2006 10:36 am |
|
|
The patient's prayer
A man asked God for patience and
he prayed out saying, " O God, give me patience and
i need it NOW!"... |
2 |
49 |
9 |
3.21 |
7/11/2006 12:53 pm |
|
|
Men are like chickens.......
the hotter you get them, the tougher they
get. But if you warm them up slowly, they get all tender.
Just a little friendly advice in trying to influence men,
ladies.  ... |
3 |
120 |
17 |
3.41 |
7/11/2006 1:11 am |
|
|
Divorce
True statistic: Fifty percent of all marriages
end in divorce. The other 50% end in death!
key: If you don't get divorced, hopefully ... |
0 |
47 |
4 |
4.02 |
7/10/2006 6:45 pm |
|
|
apppearance is deceptive
Never judge a book by its cover when there is so much more
on the inside, just as you should never judge anyone by his
look when there are so much more in his or her character or
attitude. Just as ... |
0 |
24 |
2 |
2.42 |
7/8/2006 12:31 pm |
kargye, 46 M
7/5/2006 11:54 am
6
Articles,
Score
0.0
|
|
Understanding women
Do you know why men don't understand women? We were
asleep when ya'll got here. One day a man was walking
on a beach in Florida, and discovered on old bottle in the
sand. Being curious he picked ... |
4 |
136 |
8 |
3.71 |
7/5/2006 11:54 am |
|
|
relations with Jesus
We are all related through faith, not funny?
OK no'one relates to ... |
0 |
41 |
5 |
2.16 |
6/30/2006 9:27 am |
|
|
Remember
Remember what God has done for you and the successes you
have had in life when discouragement tries to take you down,
with that you can find yourself at the top of you mind again
and be able to ... |
2 |
47 |
2 |
3.81 |
6/19/2006 11:00 am |
|
|
Caught in d act!!!
A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police
officer and the following exchange took place:
The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"
Officer: "You were ... |
3 |
193 |
32 |
5.21 |
6/8/2006 8:13 am |
|
|
Unmeasurable trust and Sharing
I love to read your comments, so please feel free to write
a quick note.
Today, while I was privately nibbling away at my undercooked
fries, cati-corner from me were several older couples ...
|
2 |
78 |
13 |
5.16 |
6/3/2006 9:04 am |
|
|
Never sit down and grieve when you can find another way
So many times in life we make attempts and effects at achieving
something laudable and something that would impact in
people’s lives as well as ours. But in most cases when we
come across problem ... |
0 |
20 |
2 |
2.42 |
6/2/2006 6:44 am |
|
|
make progress and not excuses
In life we all have desires aspirations and goals as well
as objectives. And as we pursue these comes obstacles and
difficulties but the difference between people who made
it through is that ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
2.42 |
5/31/2006 5:28 am |
|
|
Just some funny stuff.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs
17:22).
Fuzzy Sabbath Logic [Matthew 12]
Matthew 12.9 Going on from that place, he went into their
synagogue, 10 and a man ... |
0 |
41 |
5 |
3.14 |
5/27/2006 1:39 pm |
|
|
rumble in the jungle...
A missionary was walking through the jungle and as he walked
he could hear behind him the pad of a huge lions paws. So the
missionary shot a quick prayer up to God and said ''oh
lord let that lion ... |
0 |
96 |
15 |
5.12 |
5/25/2006 10:38 pm |
|
|
The Best Things In Life Are
Falling in love
Laughing so hard your face hurts
A hot shower
A special glance
Getting mail
Hearing your favourite song on the radio
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside
Hot ... |
2 |
66 |
12 |
5.63 |
5/24/2006 7:48 pm |
|
|
it is more serious tolose hope than to sin
Hope is an element that we all need in life to carry through
the functions of in the face of the variety of life issues
that we are confronted with in our everyday life. The importance
of HOPE was ... |
1 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/24/2006 9:29 am |
|
|
The New Pastor
A church had to hire a new pastor. Over the protests of one
vocal male member a woman was hired as the new senior pastor.
After the new pastor had been there a few weeks, a member
of the ... |
1 |
94 |
13 |
4.99 |
5/23/2006 3:31 pm |
|
|
Some Religious One Liners For A Change
I don't care WHO you are, quit walking on the water while
I'm fishing!
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending,
and they should be as close together as possible.
... |
0 |
40 |
6 |
5.07 |
5/22/2006 5:05 pm |
|
|
there is no perfect man or woman when it comes to relationship or marriage
there is no perfect man of women when it come to relationship
or marriage. all we need do is the determination to compromise
and accept one another. both parties have the responsibility
make the ... |
0 |
26 |
3 |
4.41 |
5/21/2006 7:36 am |
|
|
Another Thought From Skye
Skye was sitting on my lap as I read her a bedtime story. From
time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach
up to touch my wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking
her
own ... |
0 |
30 |
5 |
5.43 |
5/19/2006 5:27 pm |
|
|
How to do atomic fission
Do you know how to do atomic fission at home?
Give the atom to a three year old child and tell him: "Don't
break it, ... |
1 |
48 |
6 |
3.37 |
5/19/2006 5:02 pm |
|
|
a joke for you
Of couarse God has a sence of humor! Haven't you ever
looked in the ... |
0 |
56 |
5 |
4.45 |
5/19/2006 2:43 pm |
|
|
The Bitter Truth
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what
it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from
children.
It's a very strange name they picked for "Social ... |
2 |
72 |
7 |
5.08 |
5/17/2006 7:18 pm |
|
|
Scammers new tricks
Hello,
just want to let you know that scammers have develop new
ways of getting at people. In addition to the promise of
marriage, and offer of business deal and request to transfer
of huge ... |
0 |
25 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/13/2006 11:30 am |
|
|
Words Women Use:
Hello gentlemen, below are a list of words that women use
and you younger guys need to understand what they mean.
Take it from someone that has been around the block a few
times, hahaha.
... |
0 |
84 |
7 |
4.31 |
5/11/2006 7:13 pm |
|
|
What I Have Learned Over Time
* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables
you to look for it in more places.
* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but
it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
...
|
3 |
46 |
6 |
5.93 |
5/11/2006 8:55 am |
|
|
be a good listener
Be a good listener, don't be hasty to conclude but be
slow to talk. why it is possible for your tongue to get you
into trouble when you talk much without restain, your ears
will never get you in ... |
0 |
15 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/11/2006 8:09 am |
|
|
Bible Humor
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated
as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something
fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked
at it. What he saw ... |
0 |
44 |
5 |
3.14 |
5/11/2006 5:00 am |
|
|
Some Things I Would Like To Hear, Just Once
It seems that since I have gotten back to the states I am hearing
a lot of negative comments and suggestions no matter which
direction I seem to be going in or what I am doing so I have
made a ... |
0 |
24 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/10/2006 2:02 pm |
|
|
Are You Normal?
"ARE YOU NORMAL"
Facts about Americans.Did you know that...
Remember when you are reading this 90% of people say that
they sometimes lie.
AROUND THE HOUSE
* 21% of us don't make our ... |
0 |
29 |
2 |
2.42 |
5/9/2006 5:12 pm |
|
|
Work
People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes
People who do no work...
make no mistakes
... |
0 |
21 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/9/2006 4:47 pm |
|
|
Things You Will Never Hear A Father Say
Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll
have to stop and ask for directions.
You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll
be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be ...
|
0 |
30 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/8/2006 5:28 pm |
|
|
kind words are cheap but does great things
Whenever we recieved KIND words from people around us we
get excited and refreshed. tat means Kind words has a healing
balm within it. But as often as we get KIND words from people
we sometimes ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/8/2006 7:23 am |
|
|
Small Towns
Those who grew up in small towns like myself will laugh when
they read this. Those who didn't will be in disbelief.
1) You can name everyone you graduated with.
2) You know what 4-H ... |
0 |
34 |
2 |
3.81 |
5/7/2006 5:47 pm |
|
|
Another Form Of Birth Control
For those who already have children past this age, this
is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this
is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age,
this is a warning. ... |
1 |
135 |
16 |
6.07 |
5/7/2006 2:15 pm |
|
|
Some Points To Ponder
Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to
keep you there.
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles
than any wonder drug.
Human beings, by ... |
0 |
33 |
3 |
4.41 |
5/6/2006 10:00 pm |
|
|
Social Security Love
Two women were talking.
"So, how's your love life?"
"Oh, nothing special.
I'm having Social Security love, "
"Social Security love?"
"Yeah, you know:
I get a little ... |
2 |
111 |
10 |
2.79 |
5/6/2006 2:30 pm |
|
|
adjusting you attitude for joy
many a time we often wish and desire that every thing happening
around us could and should get fit into our attitude and
the way we want it to be. But this is wrong for that can never
be possible ... |
2 |
58 |
3 |
1.96 |
5/6/2006 4:55 am |
|
|
You Know You Are Really A Mom When:
You Know You're Really a Mom When,
You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake
to make sure they are equal.
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's ... |
0 |
16 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/5/2006 8:12 am |
|
|
Cure For What Ails Ye
I typed these from a book this morning....toooo funny
-To cure a cold, tie fish skin to your feet
-To cure mosquito bites, rub them with vinegar, oil, butter
onion, garlic or lemon peel ... |
0 |
19 |
3 |
1.96 |
5/4/2006 4:03 pm |
|
|
For Those Of Us Who Have Kids, hahaha
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they
are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students.
Here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever ... |
1 |
46 |
6 |
4.22 |
5/3/2006 11:59 am |
|
|
History Question Of The Day
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at a local gathering,
and his hostess broached the subject in which the doctor
was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor, " she asked, ... |
0 |
15 |
3 |
2.45 |
5/2/2006 4:34 pm |
|
|
Getting It Checked
I decided to let the doc check me out,
'Cause I didn't feel really quite right.
All these aches and pains annoy me
Especially when I can't sleep at night.
-
He could find nothing ... |
0 |
31 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/2/2006 3:28 pm |
|
|
You Might Be Employed By The School Board If:
Now that I am back working for the school board a few of these
came back to mind in remembrance of times gone by, hahahahaha
1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a
Ritalin ... |
0 |
41 |
1 |
3.70 |
5/2/2006 3:22 pm |
|
|
First Graders
A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five
students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom
the first half of a
well known proverb and asked them to come up with ... |
0 |
17 |
2 |
5.20 |
5/1/2006 5:56 pm |
|
|
Jesus still think the best for you no matter what
Even when Jesus knows about you, and all you are but he choose
to believe the best about you and for you. because he sees
you not as you are but as you will be when he get through with
you by his ... |
0 |
30 |
0 |
0.00 |
5/1/2006 7:34 am |
|
|
Thought For The Day
If you sometimes get the sudden urge to run around naked?
Drink some Windex. It will keep you from ... |
0 |
14 |
1 |
1.10 |
4/30/2006 7:26 pm |
|
|
If You Think That You Are Not Important
A little mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see
the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food
might this contain?" the mouse wondered. He was devastated
to discover it was a ... |
0 |
17 |
4 |
5.57 |
4/30/2006 6:31 pm |
|
|
Sometimes I Wonder About Our Youth
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when
the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of
the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete
the transaction ... |
0 |
15 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/30/2006 4:23 pm |
|
|
The Positive Side Of Life
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free
trip around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom
door you're on.
Birthdays are ... |
0 |
24 |
2 |
4.50 |
4/30/2006 3:17 pm |
|
|
Reasons To Smile
1) It looks better than a frown
2) It improves your day
3) It makes other people's day brighter
4) Make new friends
5) Shows friendship
6) Leaves favorable impressions
7) Enjoyable to ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/30/2006 7:15 am |
|
|
Why God Made Moms
The following questions were asked and the answers were
given by elementary school age children:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape ... |
0 |
15 |
2 |
5.20 |
4/30/2006 7:12 am |
|
|
Dear Pastor
Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met
my sister.
Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter
Peterson has been a ... |
0 |
18 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/30/2006 12:14 am |
|
|
What Mom Really Wants For Mother's Day
10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a
soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash)
9. To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without
rolling her eyes in ... |
0 |
11 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/30/2006 12:09 am |
|
|
Famous Last Words
1) I'll get a world record for this.
2) Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
3) It's fireproof.
4) He's probably just hibernating.
5) I'm making a citizen's ... |
0 |
15 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/30/2006 12:05 am |
|
|
Park Ranger Questions
Below are questions that people "actually asked"
of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again
that there is no known limit to the depths of the human mind.
Sometimes I wonder about our ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/29/2006 10:55 am |
|
|
Letter Of Resignation
This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee
at a computer company, to her boss,
who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!
Dear Mr. Baker,
... |
1 |
32 |
4 |
5.19 |
4/29/2006 8:16 am |
|
|
Bullentin Bloopers
From a lyric sheet: "What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and briefs to bear."
Support group meeting postponed: "There will be
no Moms Who Care this week."
... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 7:18 pm |
|
|
Because Daddy
One day I was driving with my 3-year-old daughter and beeped
my car horn by mistake. Skye turned and looked at me for an
explanation. I said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 6:06 pm |
|
|
A Child's Prayer
As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's
one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something
terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be
hurt, so I ... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 5:42 pm |
|
|
Women: Things You Might Like To Know From Dr. Watson
Through the years I have taken many classes in many different
fields and the knowledge that I have acquired over the years
I thought I would pass down to some of you. I get many different ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 4:57 pm |
|
|
Just The Facts
As parents, we all at some point are faced with this. Pretty
soon, the little ones start asking questions: Embarrassing
ones at that! I remember when my kids asked me, "Where
do babies come ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 4:48 pm |
|
|
Just Because You Need To Laugh
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only
a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those
of us who fly routinely in
our jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 4:32 pm |
|
|
Things You Do Not Want To Hear During Surgery:
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
There go the lights again.
"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys - and this ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 4:16 pm |
|
|
How much of God's image do you reflect
The Bible says that we are created in the image of God, if
that is true which I know is, how much of God's image
do you reflect. when we so often think about ourselves and
ourselves alone ignoring ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/28/2006 2:19 am |
|
|
If You Need A Good Laugh, Then Look No Further
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice
and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my
car broke down ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/27/2006 7:27 pm |
|
|
Senior Dress Code
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over
50, or hovering near 50), are quite confused about how we
should present ourselves in public. We are unsure about
the kind of image we are ... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/27/2006 7:06 pm |
|
|
Old Age
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a
park
bench in Miami. They had been meeting that park every sunny
day, for over
12 years, chatting and enjoying each others' friendship. ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/27/2006 6:34 pm |
|
|
And You Think You Had A Bad Day
I am writing in response to your request for
additional information.
In block number three of the accident reporting form, I
put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.
You said in ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 7:43 pm |
|
|
Big Mud Puddles And Sunny Yellow Dandelions
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds
that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for
Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.
When I look at an old ... |
0 |
5 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 7:15 pm |
|
|
Actuals Answers Given On Family Feud
Something that flies that doesn't have an engine -A
bicycle with wings
Something you might be allergic to - Skiing
Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
... |
0 |
6 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 7:08 pm |
|
|
Time Honored Truths
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to
drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 7:01 pm |
|
|
The Story Of Jonah
A pastor was doing his children's sermon bringing
all the youngsters down front to hear the lesson. He was
discussing the story of Jonah.
He began by quoting the scriptures from Jonah 1 and ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 6:40 pm |
|
|
Some More One Liners To Share
Dyslexia means never having to say that you're ysror.
When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses they have a
mid-wife crisis.
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't
break ... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 5:54 pm |
|
|
Things That You Would Like To Say At Work But Can't
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of
crap.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet
it's hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/26/2006 5:16 pm |
|
|
One Liners
While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the
Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its
single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
A woman's place is in the ... |
0 |
32 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 7:54 pm |
|
|
Just In Case You Are Having A Rough Day
JUST IN CASE YOU ARE HAVING A ROUGH DAY, HERE IS A STRESS MANAGEMENT
TECHNIQUE RECOMMENDED IN ALL THE LATEST PSYCHOLOGY TEXTS
1. Picture yourself near a stream
2. Birds are softly ... |
0 |
25 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 7:04 pm |
|
|
Quotes From Some Sports Role Models.
I did a blog on role models that the kids look up to now a days.
Below are some of the responses your kids are hearing from
the them through the papers and local media. My are we in
trouble, ... |
0 |
64 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 6:51 pm |
|
|
You Know You Are Getting Old When:
* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't
work.
* You feel like it's the "morning after",
but you didn't go anywhere the night before.
* You sit in a rocking chair but ... |
0 |
28 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 6:26 pm |
|
|
These Were Actual Signs That People Posted:
*Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER? PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
*In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATICE WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES
WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
...
|
0 |
25 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 5:38 pm |
|
|
How Did You Make Your Money
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The
old guy pointed his worsted wool vest and said, "Well,
son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was
down to my last ... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 5:26 pm |
|
|
I Have Learned That:
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What
we have done for others is immortal.
The easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself
with people smarter than I ... |
0 |
24 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 5:04 pm |
|
|
INTRVISTA COM MONICA LEWISKY
Em uma intrevisca coletiva um jornalista pergunta diretamente...
-Sr Lewinsky, nas proximas eleicoes, qual sera a sua opcao
tendo emvista o desempenho do governo atual?
... |
0 |
10 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 1:55 pm |
|
|
UM GOLPR BEM DADO
ENC: GOLPE BEM DADO
Acompanhado de uma belíssima mulher, o sujeito entrou
na joalheria e mandou
que ela escolhesse a jóia que quisesse, sem se preocupar
com o preço.
Examina ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/25/2006 1:23 pm |
|
|
Some More Handy Tips For You
Did You Know That? Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can
relieve headache pain almost immediately without the
unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain
relievers."
Did you know ... |
0 |
23 |
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0.00 |
4/24/2006 6:47 pm |
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Words Of Wisdom From Grandpa
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull
strong
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb,
but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers at a ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/24/2006 5:38 pm |
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Getting Old Part 5
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients
being discharged. However, while working as a student
nurse, I found one elderly
gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a ... |
0 |
15 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/24/2006 5:29 pm |
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Getting Old Part 4
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house,
and after eating, the wives left the table and went into
the kitchen. The two
gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night
we went ... |
0 |
19 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/24/2006 5:25 pm |
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Getting Old Part 3
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full
of aches and pains. I know ... |
0 |
12 |
2 |
4.50 |
4/24/2006 4:36 pm |
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Getting Old Part 2
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for
a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was
able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed
the gentleman to ... |
0 |
16 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/24/2006 4:31 pm |
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Getting Old
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed,
hair well groomed great looking suit, flower in his lapel
smelling slightly of a
good after shave, presenting a well looked-after ... |
0 |
27 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/24/2006 4:25 pm |
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The Coat Hanger
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her
daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and
stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got
back to her car and ... |
0 |
54 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/24/2006 4:12 pm |
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You Know It Is Going To Be A Bad Day When:
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
You turn on the morning news, and they're showing
emergency routes out of your ... |
0 |
13 |
2 |
3.12 |
4/23/2006 4:29 pm |
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Famous Mother's In History
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint
on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard ...
|
0 |
12 |
1 |
2.40 |
4/23/2006 4:14 pm |
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Everything My Mother Ever Taught Me
My mother taught me logic: "If you fall off that swing
and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."
My mother taught me medicine: "If you don't stop
crossing your eyes, they're ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/23/2006 4:12 pm |
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Aptronyms Just For Laughs
These are real APTRONYMS, names that match the occupations.
Dr. Harry Beaver is a Virginia gynecologist.
Ray Ferrie is a retired ferry boat captain.
Linda Toot was the ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/23/2006 3:39 pm |
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Complaints Received By The British Council
While I was living in the UK, they have what is called the
British Council. This particular office helped build
and furnish housing for their people that normally could
not afford housing. So ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/23/2006 3:18 pm |
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Different Questions I Have Asked Myself Over The Years
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there, ... |
0 |
13 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/23/2006 2:53 pm |
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Some Lines To Make You Smile, I Hope
1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. I
thought I was God and she didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute
of it.
3. I Work Hard Because ... |
0 |
22 |
2 |
3.81 |
4/23/2006 1:39 pm |
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Handy Little Chart To Have
God has a positive answer:
YOU SAY / GOD SAYS
BIBLE VERSES
You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired" God says: ... |
0 |
10 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/23/2006 10:12 am |
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Understanding Investments
STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until
the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her
golf clubs to ... |
1 |
39 |
2 |
3.81 |
4/22/2006 6:17 pm |
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Some Weekend Puns For You
The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show ... |
1 |
40 |
4 |
3.25 |
4/22/2006 4:08 pm |
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...another marriage joke
A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts,
"Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!"
The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The
ocean or the mountains?"
He ... |
2 |
139 |
12 |
2.09 |
4/22/2006 2:25 pm |
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A marriage joke...
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him
and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your ... |
0 |
36 |
5 |
4.45 |
4/22/2006 2:24 pm |
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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands..
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became
upset.
"You're running around with other women!"
she told her mate.
"Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable, " ... |
0 |
40 |
4 |
5.57 |
4/22/2006 2:19 pm |
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A Little Humor Before Dinner
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist
who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting
room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist
desk, he ... |
3 |
119 |
11 |
6.53 |
4/22/2006 2:19 pm |
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Important Recall Notice For All To Read Now
The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in
the primary and central component of the heart. This is
due to a ... |
0 |
20 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/22/2006 10:09 am |
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A Funny Tax Time Letter To The IRS
This is a real letter submitted to the IRS in the midst of
one year's weird and bizarre denial of dependents,
exemptions, and credits. The letter speaks for itself.
Dear Sirs:
...
|
0 |
23 |
3 |
4.41 |
4/22/2006 9:51 am |
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Things My Mother (May Have) Told Me
When life hands you lemons, smile politely and say, “Thank
you”.
Rome wasn’t built on a Monday, because Monday night is football
night.
Let the chips fall where they may, ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/22/2006 8:26 am |
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Life Is Tough And Even Tougher If You Are Not All There
Life is tough enough on its own but it is even tougher when
you don't use everything that God has given you. Below
are a few examples of what I am talking about.
1. Recently, when I ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/22/2006 7:29 am |
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Our Children Speak Once More
Answers given by elementary school age children to the
following questions
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape
is.
2. Mostly to clean the ... |
0 |
7 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/21/2006 4:57 pm |
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10 Things You Don't Wanna Hear.......
Ten Things You *Don't* Want to Overhear Over an Airline
P.A. System........
1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking,
I just wanted to take this time to remind ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/21/2006 3:44 pm |
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Something For The Baby Boomers
It's fun being a baby boomer, until now. Some of the
artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new
lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
1. Herman's ... |
0 |
4 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/21/2006 3:36 pm |
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gas prices
sign this petition to lower gas prices
ITS LEGIT i got it off of channel 7 action news
http://bigchurch.com
if you cant get it off that site click on this site
http://bigchurch.com
PS give ... |
1 |
35 |
2 |
3.12 |
4/21/2006 2:54 pm |
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Investment Tips For 2006, If You Are Lucky To Have Some Money
Be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get
in on the ground floor and make
some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2006.
1.) Hale Business Systems, ... |
0 |
9 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/21/2006 9:10 am |
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Away For 3 Days
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday,
so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend
partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he ... |
0 |
17 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/21/2006 8:59 am |
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A Couple Of Short Stories On The Lighter Side
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true, " she wanted to know, "that
the medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid
so, " ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/20/2006 4:04 pm |
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Underwear Is Important!!!!
If you don't laugh out loud at this one, call the morgue
and reserve a tray, because you are dead.
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when
working under your vehicle. ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/20/2006 4:00 pm |
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15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave
her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then
she's yours. (Deuteronomy
21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry ... |
0 |
21 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/20/2006 8:12 am |
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the beautiy of anyday starts from the heart
whene we go to bed at night we hope to see a wondeful and beautiful
day starting from the next morning. but most often many
people do not see the beautiful, because of the state of
their heart at ... |
0 |
19 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/20/2006 2:58 am |
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IQ Test, How Will You Do
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how
you should spend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating
the action of brushing one's ... |
0 |
8 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/19/2006 7:12 pm |
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One Liners
Divorce: Proof that while you can't buy love, you still
end up paying through the nose for it!
Family planning has many misconceptions."
Poets who become singers go from bard to ... |
0 |
6 |
1 |
1.10 |
4/19/2006 5:34 pm |
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A PIADA DO CASAMENTO
Diálogos de um casamento em decadencia
_O marido pergunta pra mulher: - Vamos tentar uma posição
diferente essa noite?
A mulher responde : - Boa idéia, você fica aqui em pé na pia ... |
0 |
27 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/18/2006 11:32 pm |
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One Liners
It’s hard to find a suitable card for the
schizophrenic twins. No one has a card that
says, "For the four of you."
I asked my friend what sign he was born under
and he said he was ... |
0 |
12 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/18/2006 6:09 pm |
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|
Watch What You Say, Children Never Forget
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few
minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect
order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was
shocked and stunned ... |
0 |
20 |
1 |
2.40 |
4/18/2006 4:32 pm |
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A Little Humor Before Dinner
Before my daughters death, I had taken the two grandchildren
out for lunch and on this particular day, boy did they misbehave!
On the way home one of them, asked, "Grandpa, will
you tell mama how ... |
0 |
13 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/18/2006 3:48 pm |
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christ is God's fulfillment for human
God promised us good life and prosperity and all the abundance
of confort. those promises are fulfilled in Jesus christ
that is why Jesus Christ is God's everything for man's
total ... |
0 |
24 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/18/2006 2:38 am |
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Being Broke
Well most of you know that I was working in England until
I had to come back to the states to take care of my grandchildren.
While I thought it would be easy to find work I learned the
hard way ... |
0 |
23 |
3 |
1.47 |
4/16/2006 6:49 pm |
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The Senior Alphabet
A for arthritis,
B for bad back,
C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid ... |
0 |
11 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/16/2006 6:21 pm |
|
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The 5 Questions that A Man Does Not Want To Hear
Below are the 5 most dreaded questions that a man does not
want to hear from their special other. Now the bad thing
with these questions is that most of the time you are going
to end up in an ... |
0 |
18 |
2 |
1.04 |
4/16/2006 2:30 pm |
|
|
The Gifts That Keep On Giving
We all posess the ability to give. Below I have listed a few
gifts that you can keep on giving.
Listening, just plain old simple listening, no interuptions,
no staring off into space, ... |
0 |
16 |
1 |
3.70 |
4/16/2006 2:08 pm |
|
|
Just One Example Of What Happens When You Are Looking For Perfection
Here is a story of what happens when you are seeking perfection
and take your eyes off God.
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given
responsibility to marry the ... |
0 |
18 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/16/2006 1:17 pm |
|
|
Some Humor To Share
A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have
you ever done anything of particular merit?" St.
Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing, " the man offers.
"Once, on a trip ... |
0 |
12 |
0 |
0.00 |
4/16/2006 1:07 pm |
|
|
I Have Found Out The Reason I Am So Tired
I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm
overworked.
Here's why:
The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million
are retired.
That leaves 133 ... |
0 |
7 |
1 |
5.00 |
4/16/2006 10:13 am |
