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I have but one life, I choose to spend it praising Him
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God's cake Apr 5, 2008 4:50 am
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Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake!

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter. "How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!" To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. I hope your day is a "piece of cake!"
1 comment
A Prayer for Help Apr 5, 2008 3:20 am
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A Prayer for Help
In every need let me come to You with humble trust, saying:
Jesus, help me!
In all my doubts, perplexities, and temptations:
Jesus, help me!
In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials:
Jesus, help me!
In failures, disappointments, troubles and sorrows:
Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and I need Your grace:
Jesus, help me!
When I am impatient and my cross irritates me:
Jesus, help me!
Always, in spite of my weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind:
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me. Amen



A Prayer in Time of Suffering
Until my healing comes, Lord, give me Your grace so that I may accept my suffering. Give me Your strength so that I will not despair. Give me Your love so that my suffering may bring me closer to You, the origin and source of all love. Amen.
1 comment
How well do you know fellow dude bloggers? Apr 4, 2008 12:56 pm
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How many of these guys do you recognize:

A dude who understands women so well it is scary
A dude who doesn't shoot straight
A dude with a cat
A dude who thinks without hypocrisy or pretense and wants peace
A Great dude with infinite wisdom
A dude with a name that resembles the colour purple and was also the name of a famous boxer who changed his name and won a world title
A dude with a little bit of where we are going
A dude who kills ugly critters
A dude with a history not for the faint hearted
A dude with a wealthy name and a heart for hero's
A dude with wheels that had to take a long winters nap
A dude who is a dad who talks every day
A dude in dive gear that writes underwater
A dude that contemplates how He is with us
A dude with a wonderful blog about earth
A dude who now likes country music
A dude who will not give up and never grow old
A dude with a bad reputation, cleaned up well though, and now in love
A dude who has a special love day named after him
A moving dude with an illegal cigar
A dude who loves love songs and politics
A dude of the law who loves the sea
A very distinguished dude with a compound nickname
A dude who talks about nothing
A dude who eats colors and compose verses
A dude that married Bookwriter
A dude who is cruising the roads of seduction
A single male on a hill dude
A dude who investigates the bible from a different angle
A dude who drinks his tea cold
A dude who is feeling left out
A dude with a bad hairday fella
A writer dude who has been sick
A dude with instructions from Above
A dude who do not understand women but is intense about kissing but easily distracted.
A dude who is a translucent design impressed on paper
A dude with an aim in life
A dude who was not late
A dude who is a canine with a scarf flying the red baron
A dude who is a flying wizard
13 Comments
Men can understand women Apr 3, 2008 1:08 pm
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Well I enjoyed the post: Finally a man who wants to understand his wife so much, I had to ask.

Ladies and of course gentlemen who 'think' they have worked this out, shall we attempt the impossible mission to try and explain how the female mind works.


I have gathered a few, if you ask why, you need some additional help (you will be charged per hour) or maybe we can get some volunteers to assist.

1. Seek emotional closeness, cuddle.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.

6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.

7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.

8. Kiss her eyelids.

9. Jewelry is a good barter for anything

10. Wear her birthstone in your wedding ring.

11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.

12. Know when she says "nothing's wrong," it really means that everything's wrong. Do something about it.

13. If you are telling a woman about something, and she replies she has done that too, or knows someone that happened to, etc, she is not trying to one-up you. she is trying to relate with you, to grow closer, not compete. .Just accept it.

14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl.

15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.

16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car. Do not wake her with, hey we’re home.

17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.

18. Send her something in the mail. Anything. Maybe Jewelry.

19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.

20. Call her just before you get on the plane.

21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.

22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.

23. Take her to see your favorite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.

26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.

27. Often the train of thought of a woman doesn’t fit into the ‘logical’ pattern (of males)... seems there’s more behind which is not explained, and they (women) don’t want to explain… results in needing to have a lengthy, often very patient discussion before understanding them….

28. Give her jewellery.

29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

30. Ask her specific questions about her work.

31. Keep her favorite cereal on hand.

32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.

33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.

34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.

35. Jewelry is the make-up gift.

36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.

37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realize is broken.

38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.

39. Censored by BC.

40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.

41. If she’s too stressed to be intimate...
a. Run a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle. (The BC Male Grapple Team will gladly assist in pointers)
d. Give her Jewelry

42. If she tends to over explain and take too many tangents to be concise or clear. Be patient and do not pretend to listen.

43. Foot rubs and massage on demand, 24 / 7, regardless of emotional state of either party. (Thank you meow, how could I forget)

44. If in doubt, give her Jewelry

And some very important pointers:

DANGEROUS: WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
SAFER: CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?
SAFEST: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?

DANGEROUS: ARE YOU WEARING THAT?
SAFER: WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!
SAFEST: WOW!LOOK AT YOU!

DANGEROUS: WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?
SAFER: COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?
SAFEST: HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

DANGEROUS: SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?
SAFER: YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.
SAFEST: CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?

DANGEROUS: WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?
SAFER: I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.
SAFEST: I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!

ULTRA SAFE: GIVE HER JEWELRY
8 Comments
Join me on the mountain Apr 3, 2008 12:49 am
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Come Let's go up to the Mountain

A few years ago, I was part of a singles prayer group that had prayer meetings on a nearby mountain every week. Listening to this song this morning brought back so many memories of blessed hours spent in the presence of our Saviour.

We did not always gather at the same spot at once and it was such a blessing wondering off and spending time with Him alone in nature. All the way up the mountain you could hear His praises being raised up. His name being glorified. And so often cries as saints were bringing prayer request before Him. In our own spiritual battles and prayers, support was just a reach away. Very often, you did not even have to reach out, the Spirit already sent someone on your way.

I am sad this morning for losing touch with so many of these precious friends in Christ, but are well aware that people are brought into our lives to touch us for maybe only for a moment, a day, a season or a lifetime. Many of these friends are fulfilling their callings and ministries and were taken where the Lord called them.

Today, I am thankful for the friends here on BC, and are blessed by your touch in my life. Thank you for new memories, who knows maybe only for a moment, a day, maybe a season or maybe a lifetime

Nations will be flowing to Zion
When they see the house of the Lord
Running to His peaceful kingdom
shouting, they lay down their swords

Come let's go up to the mountain
Come let's Go up to the Lord
Come let's go up to the mountain
He will teach us His ways

Wash us with the Spirit of burning
Let Your beautiful fruit shine forth
Then everyone who's left in Zion
Will be called holy for evermore

Come let's go up to the mountain
Come let's Go up to the Lord
Come let's go up to the mountain
He will teach us His ways

Arise and shake the earth so mightily
Send Your glory all across the land
Then everything that's proud and lofty
Will bow down before the Son of Man

Come let's go up to the mountain
Come let's Go up to the Lord
Come let's go up to the mountain
He will teach us His ways

Over all the glory there will be a covering
A cloud of smoke all through the day
A flaming fire all through the night
A tabernacle for the shade
A shelter from the pouring rain
When the Lord has washed away
The guilt from the daughters of Zion

Who wants to join me up the mountain this morning?

Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am…
The Lord will guide you continually,
And satisfy your needs in parched places,
And make your bones strong;
And you shall be like a watered garden,
Like a spring of water, whose waters never fail.

(Isaiah 58:9,11; NRSV)
3 Comments
BC Male Grapple Team Apr 1, 2008 6:05 am
1007 Views
and

Rod and Michael kindly agreed to entertain us with a a mud entertainment event, this by grappling and attempting to throw or immobilize each other. This is in sympathy of those unable to attend the BC Bash.

This is in support of the transport source of supply, managed by the Bash organizing committee.

Please let Rod and Michael know asap.

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, THIS TEAM HAS NOW OFFICIALLY BEEN APPOINTED AS THE BCMGT ALSO LOVINGLY KNOWN AS ....please use your imagination...

The BCMGT has temporarily been disabled, but will now continue as normal.

It would not be, no, think not, no, sure not, ....... not one of the contestants that requested that this block be banned. I wish to categorically state, no not them, no do not think so, na......

No animals were harmed in the production of this blog.
88 Comments
More April Fool's jokes Apr 1, 2008 5:54 am
201 Views
I heard this prank that happened in a typing class. (Or keyboarding class if you prefer.) The prankster switched keyboards with his victim and when she tried typing, he would type messages to her screen as if her computer was a sentient being. Apparently she started asking it for advice, thinking it might be God. This prank would work even better with a wireless keyboard. You could control your co-worker’s computer from across the next cube.

A classic prank for the workplace involves the fake e-mail notice announcing that the phone company needs to clean the built-up dust out of the phone lines. Your e-mail should tell people to unplug their phones because a burst of concentrated air will be sent through the phone lines at a certain time, and if the phone is not unplugged, the cubicle will fill with dust.

One of the best practical jokes ever played on me took me years to figure out. I still don’t know who did it, but it was a beauty. It won’t work if your victim has caller ID, unless maybe you block your number. It works like this: Find someone who has two phones – say a work phone and a home phone. Pick a time when you know the target is near one of the phones and no one will answer the other. Call the phone that won’t be answered, then use three-way calling to call the phone that will be answered. When the target answers, say nothing but connect the three-way call. He’ll hear his own answering machine at home telling him to leave a message. Trust me when I say this will freak a person out. It took me about five years to figure out how my home answering machine called me at the office.

I haven’t seen this prank done, but I think it would work if you have a secretary who is unusually clueless about technology. Tell the secretary that some other department is out of copier paper and ask him/her to fax some blank pages, just enough to hold them until their paper shipment comes in.

Send a department-wide e-mail telling people that a once-in-a-century alignment of Pluto and Venus will cause gravity on earth to be 20% less for about five minutes starting at 9:47 AM. Suggest that people test the phenomenon by jumping straight up and down at that time.

My son's all time favorite joke, did not seem so funny at the time:
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen saver. When the screen goes to sleep, the machine looks like it crashed. Be mindful the victim might lose data if they pull the plug.

Mangle the Mouse

Hide the mouse ball. It sounds far too simple to actually fool anyone, but you'll be amazed at how long people will curse and slam their unresponsive mouse onto the desktop before actually flipping the thing over. On the bottom of most mice, you'll find a plastic ring encircling the ball. Loosen it with a twist and pop the ball out. Dropping the mouse ball into their coffee cup will render it magically invisible.

Another early April Fools joke for 2008: Offers over £1 million were being invited for a hotel in Bridport, UK this week (w/e March 8, 200. Haddon House was listed on the eBay auction website. It turned out however that it was only an early April Fools joke. The Hotel's management were reportedly not in the least amused and had it removed from Ebay's listings.

Featured joke to try: Superglue some coins to the sidewalk or any spot that has good traffic with a lot of people walking around. Lay the trap in an appropriate place, then watch people break fingernails trying to take up the coins!
0 Comments
April fool Apr 1, 2008 5:02 am
200 Views
The fake ad: Place a classified ad that offers an unbelievable deal, something like "Tribe-Yankees box seats FACE VALUE!" "Nintendo Wii, new in package, $50," or "free full-body massage." Then use your friend's phone number in the ad. He or she will spend the next week answering literally hundreds of phone calls from all sorts of unseemly folks.

The break-in: Borrow the keys to your victim's car. Next, put some clear glass bottles in a plastic bag and carefully break the glass. Open your victim's car, roll down the driver's side window all the way and place a few of the larger pieces of broken glass on the seat, along with a brick. Set up a camcorder to forever capture your victim's reaction.

Air-sickness snack: Before your next flight, prepare a simple yogurt-and-fruit salad and put it in a zip-lock bag. Once in the air, discreetly put the wholesome snack into an air-sickness bag. Now it's your time to shine. Pretend like you're getting sick into the bag. Then, with all the passengers watching, grab a fork, say "Yum-MEE!" and eat your fruit salad.

Lunchtime: Enjoy half of a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for breakfast. Take the remainder of the sandwich, wrap it securely in some plastic wrap and then head to work early. Bury your wrapped food in your co-worker's garbage can (careful to keep it clean). Around noon, walk over to your co-worker's cubicle and ask, "You got anything good in your trash can?" As your victim looks on in stunned silence, rifle through the rubbish, pull out the sandwich and dig in.

Tug o' war: Perfect for dorms where the hallway doors open inward. At about 7 a.m. one Saturday morning, tie one end of a rope to a doorknob, tie the other end to the doorknob directly across the hall, leaving about two inches of slack. Knock loudly on both doors. Sit back and watch the residents of the two rooms try to open their doors.

But you look so young: Next time you're out to eat with a friend, slip away to the restroom. While you're gone, tell your server that it's your friend's birthday, adding 10 years, of course. Ask the staff to bring over a dessert and sing, including the age in the song.

Look at all the crazy people: Tape magnets to the bottom of a coffee mug and attach to the roof of your wife's car. As she drives in to work, she'll be amazed at all the people frantically waving and pointing at her.

So juvenile, so funny: On your co-worker's desk, leave the written message: "Harry Lyon called. He says it's urgent. Call him immediately." Include the phone number of an out-of-state zoo.

You may already be a winner: This is cruel. Early Wednesday morning, take note of the winning Mega Millions numbers from the night before. Rush out and buy a ticket with those numbers. Return home in time for breakfast. Put the ticket on the table and ask your husband to check the paper to see if you won last night's drawing. Soon, he'll be crying tears of joy. Break the news to him before he calls in to tell off his boss.

The fake-out: Tell your spouse to watch out, that you're planning the best and most embarrassing April Fool's prank ever. Act strangely all day. Then, of course, do nothing.

Wet a tissue with milk and run around holding the tissue to your eye pretending you stuck your pen in your eye, when somebody comes close, squeeze the tissue to make the Milk spurt out all over the place.

Place Cling-film over the toilet seat - an old prank but a good one !

Ring your friend and pretend to be from the local GPs office. Tell them they might have Newcastles Disease ( a chicken disease - don't tell them that ).

Sign somebody up to an embarrasing email newsletter.

Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your friend) wanted them to drop over at 11am - they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.

Put loads of Pencil (scribble and really build up the graphite) on a piece of paper and then rub around the eye and upper jaw. Then go around the office and say you were hit beacuse you didn't get the report in on time.

Advertise your bosses job in the local newspsper - (Great if you want to get fired !).

Get a universal remote control and turn the volume up on all the TVs in your local TV shop, while standing nearby. Try be covert so you can keep doing it.

If you are a manager or have employees under you, send people looking for made up items such as the dehydrated water, the hydraulic cement humidifier, the double sided transperencies, a fallopian tube, the blunt knife, a glass hammer.

If you work in a restaurant, tell all employees that due to new fiar trade regulations, each serving of fries or chips must contain exactly 257 pieces.

Use a 3M Post-it notes placed underneath someones's computer mouse - ensure that it covers the ball or the optical sensor on the bottom. When they go to use the mouse, it won't work! On the 3M Post-it simply write April Fool!.

Do a few replacements ... Substitute Gravy instead of coffee granules !

If your last one out of the office, empty multiple packs of Jello or Gelatine into the Toliets - the result next morning will be fun !

Break a chilli pepper and rub it a few times on mugs and cups .. adds spice to the daily cup of coffee.

If you have a digital camera, take a picture of the toilet, then plug in your digital camera into a PC or TV (using TV-out) and get the picture on screen. When you see people coming out of the toilets, start laughing out loud and pointing. The person will come and see the picture and think you saw them in there !

Switch the signs for Mens and Ladies toilets ... watch the fun !

Advertising

If you can get the keys to the car, park it by a busy road with a prominent 'For Sale' sign in the window (front and rear). Then put a really low price on it and the number of the victim. They will get calls all day.

MY FAVOURITE:
When you've stopped at traffic lights, glance over at the driver next to you and do a double-take. Then, with a panicked expression on your face, lock all the doors.
0 Comments
Are implanted micro chips the mark of the beast Mar 31, 2008 3:29 am
336 Views
After reading Mark of the Beast-666-Will You Take It? I thought this would make some interesting research.

Are implanted micro chips the mark of the beast?

While traveling through European airports some years back, I picked up a pamphlet encouraging Europeans to change their passport for the implanted chip. It gave them the opportunity to go through checkpoints quicker etc.

About 2 years back, a South African Bank started trials on replacing bank and credit cards with a chip. This is mainly to combat fraud, which is a huge problem.

You can now have your child implanted to ensure that they can be tracked in case they disappear. Which is a real threat today.

I feel they are propagating it for very legit reasons. Like everything else that we as Christians do not agree on and attempted to stop, what are our chances of resisting change.

You already need identification to conduct business when using anything other than cash. What happens if cash falls away?

What else is out there, would love to get some input on this subject?
16 Comments
Praying to prepare for a mate: Mar 28, 2008 4:34 am
245 Views
I received this from a friend and found it insightful.

Praying to prepare for a mate:
I bind myself to Your will and purposes for my future, Lord, so Your plans will be fulfilled in my life * whether they are plans I think I want or not. You know the tug on my heart when I see a loving husband and wife. I long for such a relationship but if I desire a mate only to fill an empty place in my heart instead of seeking to fill with You, show me how to change.

I bind myself to pure motives for wanting a mate, not just to meet my unmet needs, to heal my unhealed hurts, or to resolve my unresolved issues. That is placing unrealistic expectations on any human being. No man or women could ever fulfill such expectations, You alone can do that. You alone can fill me with grace, bathe me in love, met my needs, heal my hurts, and resolve my questions and issues.

I lose the layers of self-protection and self-defense I have laid down over theses areas of vulnerability in my life. Jesus, I want to let you get to these sources of my neediness and loneliness and pains so you can heal them with your supernatural power, grace and mercy, and love. I've felt like I have been trapped in a vacuum where nothing is ever enough. I don't want to be needy and hurting any longer. I want to be a fully satisfied source of hope and blessing to others. No one will get hope from watching a life that is always unsatisfied, needy, and in pain. But I know that many can receive hope from a life that was once like that, but has been changed and made whole by You!

I do not want to force my way past Your will into a relationship only to see my needs suck all of the joy, peace, and life out of a mate. Lord, forgive me for the times I have blamed You for my loneliness, for my lack of having someone to care for. I know that You have been protecting me and others from the hurt and heartbreak a wrong relationship brings. I loose all of the discouragement, deception, and denial in my soul that has kept you from getting into its deepest parts * the places so dark and lonely that even I won't go there. Lord, I will let You fix me in whatever way you need to fix me.

Jesus, if there is s special man/women You have chosen and are preparing for me, I bind him/her to your will and purposes. I ask that you draw him/her into a strong, whole relationship with you, Jesus. I ask that you teach him/her to see you as the focus and very center of his/her life, just as I am asking you to do with me. I bind myself and him/her to your timing. I will not seek to find any such person through mi own efforts. You will know if and when the time is right for both of us to come together into a relationship.

Lord, if you desire for me to remain wholly devoted to and single-minded towards you, then pour grace and mercy into me and mark me as yours alone. Teach me how to come into a covenant of intimacy with you like I have known before. Teach me to hear your voice and respond to every word of your love. Teach me how to love you, to bless you, and to minister to you. Teach me how to come apart from the world and go with you into that never-yet-entered secret meeting place that is just ours. Teach me how to receive whatever you want to give to me.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
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