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Blogs > sabrefire45 > The Midnight Ocean > Sep 28, 2008
The Midnight Ocean
  
Reflections, Poetry, and Prose from the depths of the Midnight Ocean.
Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Psalm 130
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will make a new covenant. After those days, saith the LORD,
I will put my law in their inwards parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God,
and they shall be my people. Jeremiah 31:31-33
Wherefore the law is holy, and the Commandment Holy, and just, and good. Rom7:12
Sifatai tiftach- u'fi yagid- tehilatecha!
- If I open my lips- let my mouth- declare Your praise!
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Starry starry night Sep 28, 2008 3:57 am
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Hemingway could not write a line when not immersed in love.
Vincent van Gogh, the artist of Starry Starry Night, its said, cut his ear off and sent it to his hearts love.
He also, shot himself in the heart and waited 3 days to die... alone.
Even Christ Himself, was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and hung on a tree for the salvation of His BELOVED People.
---
I,...well, don't always sleep well (?).
---

I don't condemn or despise nighttime as a result of my not being "in-love". Quite the opposite is in fact true. I very often find night utterly endearing and romantic... even the sweeping tide of solitude, which I have undeniably beckoned, do I admire now. I am, after all, quite 'alone' by choice. I now find nearly every hint of loneliness, a mere testament to the longing for the One G-d, and one women; which inexplicably seem to reach into the present- from some unknown perch in the future, and steal away the lion-share of my heart- by pulling it ever closer to themselves with a certain enchanted- spiritual magnetism.
As a child, even until now, have I loved a good fairytale. I have from the beginning loved the passion and the fantasy. But most of all I loved the seemingly universal thumbing of noses at the various forms of evil, in their pretend worlds.
A witch melts. A wolf is cut wide open. The ugly, become the beautiful by means of their sterling heart.
---
Hmmm...peraps...A man that writes from his heart by cover of night... becomes a sapphire knight, ready to steal away his Queen from the tyranny of silly brutish men.
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Fantasy or reality?
It doesn't much matter to me. My heart still melts.
I have for certain, in my pocket the twinkling stars and the luminous moon to spill my pleas of hearts desire under, before a the G-d of Israel. I have the enchantment and creation of G-d. I don't "Love" the moon or the stars, outright. But I do love the brilliant resilience of a certain woman, whose path may someday cross my own, who no doubt sings to them just as I do.

I'm a fellow who see's that most women are quite lovable; yet I find myself rather un-gifted to play the one whom is loved.

Life is a queen's challenge of sorts. These past few years I've been the sole company to women, who steal the breath from the room as soon as they enter. Honestly, the kind where when I've been left alone, men come and ask how I do it. Literally. These have been smart women too. Women with degrees. Regardless, whatever I "do," it's been ineffective, by my own measure. I want something more. You know that idea of the person that is just, for me. I've seen a few woman in my day that can steal the air from the room, but how many can steal my heart for a lifetime? This is the essential question. My heart is entirely steal-able, but the words to unlock it are rather ancient, and unfortunately largely forgotten. But, those Words are out there. And, I suspect so is she.
I wonder if she concerns herself likewise tonight?
I want, no I demand, a woman that looks evermore-so to the purity of Our G-d, as essential to her life. Like a Ruth, an Esther, or...bite my tongue, a Mary. I want a woman who doesn't give me a chance because of my handsome look, but rather for the temperament of my heart, and my yearning and striving for the very heart of my G-d. I need a woman who loves me not just because I am strong or brave, or whatever the case. I need a woman who will love me for all of these things. A woman whom I can admire me as fully as I admire her. Partnered in a 3-cord bond of beautiful reciprocation.
I want a woman to love me, for the real me. I put my smile in my pocket, but my locked heart is worn on my sleeve. Smiles are fleeting, but my "heart" is my very life.
Outward beauty is not enough. I'm content within myself to say, I've proven this in my life. I could have settled. I could have given up all the hushed and despondent nights 'alone' under the stars.
But what, I wonder would that have made me?
There is no area, nor could there possibly be any stipulation affecting my fleshly life, so demanding as my desire for a women of virtue. I know I am equipped to spend the rest of my life 'alone' if I do not meet her. I'd beg time itself, to wager a bet on my resolution. But, time...ah yes- time, is something that is required of all things. The good, bad and ugly. Yesterday and eternity...is time. We've all got time. We just never know how much.
"True Love" sometimes, it seems, is like a plague that falls solely on the justified. The artisans, the scholars of perpetual contentment, the immortal characters of fables.
---
My sister and her husband(?).
---
Since I know that True Love actually exists, I must be resolute in my belief that it is the sole heir and partner to the lion-share of any 'lonely' benevolence I could feel under these stars tonight.
Is she out there?
I don't know.
But, hey,look up...have you ever seen such an elegant moon?

Love in Christ frinds,
sabrefire
Copyright © MAS 09/28/2008
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