Advertisement
Bringing people together in love and faith
My Blog
Blogs > sabrefire45 > The Midnight Ocean
The Midnight Ocean
 
Reflections, Poetry, and Prose from the depths of the Midnight Ocean.
Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
Psalm 130
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will make a new covenant. After those days, saith the LORD,
I will put my law in their inwards parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
Jeremiah 31:31-33

Wherefore the law is holy, and the Commandment Holy, and just, and good. Rom7:12
Sifatai tiftach- u'fi yagid- tehilatecha!
- If I open my lips- let my mouth- declare Your praise!
Title View |
The FirePost Jun 20, 2008 8:42 am
3177 Views

Hello friends. I am dedicating this thread as a blind mailbox (Comments only I can read). Additionally, I will perhaps, occasionally- add comments thoughts and reflections that just don't seem to merit their own thread...thus I can't snore/bore you all and take up space!
GB and drop me a hidden post! I'm counting on you guys to give me some good topics/reflections and comments that perhaps will inspire, and/or make me laugh!

Gb,
sabrefire
72 Comments, 42 Pending
TODAY! Jan 7, 2009 2:17 am
114 Views


Today!
Today, out of the all the lost days of minds remembrance, do I wish to live my life like a canvass. A canvass of G-d, waiting and willing to perform, and display His work.
Today!
Today, I am going to LOVE like My G-d has taught me to Love. I am going to Love even those who hate me. If just for today! I want to be more like You Lord Our G-d!
Today!
Today, I want to feel a bit of His pain and bear it silently as He did. Today, if never again, I want to feel that strength of Love within me, so I may Love more fully; and see Him more clearly.
Today!
Today, I want to repay wicked with good. I want to replace anger and hatred with forgiveness. Today, I want feel His Mercy more than ever.
Today!
Today, I want to wait for the Lord more than when I watch for the morning. Today, I want to see redemption from all OUR iniquities.
Today!
Today, O',Lord hear my voice! Today, bring Thy good news to all about me! Today, let us all shout for Joy!
Ha'mashiach now!
Today!
Today, I want to be with You! Today, I want to see Your Mighty Arm.
Today!
Today, I want to last forever! Forever and ever!! Today, there is no tomorrow. Today there is no past. Today, I want there to be just You...and all Your Good things...
Today!
Today!
Today... must last forever...forever and ever!

GBY Little Children...Today!
mike


Copyright © 2009 MAS
12 Comments
HOW I STOLE TIME... Jan 4, 2009 12:37 am
243 Views


My older brother is an engineer. He lives in a quite new, I'd guess, at least 5-6 bedroom house. He has a precious daughter named of all things...Hope.
My sister, on the other hand, is stunningly beautiful by all accounts, and has a masters degree. Her heart is absolute gold as well. She is married to a most wonderful sort of man. They have a house too, and a new child that is unbelievably adorable. Unbelievable...I can honestly say.
I myself don't have a house. I don't have any children. I've never been married.
I, instead of all these things, stole time. I did, and I know it. While they were busy reading and living their truly blessed and exciting life's story... line by line, I was always reading the fine print at the bottom of my life's contract it seems. The confusing legal stuff at the beginning and end. I feel like I wasn't reading my own story aloud in real time, nearly ever. I have however, spent time reading others stories, and hopefully learning.
My life, what I've made it out to be these last many years, is largely concentrated, contained, and personified within/by the pages of this rather small black leather bound book of mine.
In some ways it is my home. And also... my child.
It started about 5 years ago. I received a blank-paged black leather bound book as a gift from someone who recognized my passion for writing deep things. I recall writing some poems and prose within its pages early on. Then, quickly everything changed. My heart changed, the life I presumed to uphold failed me. My intellect failed me. Everything I had constructed toppled, like a house of cards. It was just it's half-life of certain decay, old things passed away. I began to see the silliness's of everyday life, plainly then. I became sorely vexed with the pursuits of man. I needed to know the why, always the why. I realized instantly that most all of life was spent in this same manner. Unless there was a Help.

"If it had not been for the Lord my soul had dwelt in perfect silence." Psalm 94:17

But, alas, I was shaken, alive. Shook, until what I perceived was my breaking point sometimes. Old world passing. Shaking out the "why" in all things. Yet each question in my heart began to ring familiar..."can you give it up, is it real?"
"Real, unto Eternity?"
What I thought was reality, soon took a back seat, it had no longer any choice. It was a simple failure to me.
I remember very well the day I ripped out all the pages of the little black book, that I'd written on, and began to write something new. Something everlasting and more True.
I read the bible intently and humbly then like never before, and quoted those scriptures that spoke most to me, in the pages of this little book.
It took a good 4.5 years to finish. Now its pages are so ink laden and choked, it's almost nauseating to read. I have even added pages too it, unbound.
I even polish its leather cover occasionally. I absolutley cannot stand to see dust on it for some reason. Infact, I polished it tonight, this is why I now write of it.
Very very few people in my life even know it exists actually, though it is very much...me.

My life simply cannot be weighed against: the success of the rich, nor those with a large family, or even against the strange backdrop of man's esteem. My life now is just as is those pages. Small and heavily choked up with words. And hopefully some wisdom as well.
And yes, I suppose my life is polished occasionally too by good fortune! Infact I KNOW quite well it is/has!! But, at other times it too has seemed as that book... rather nauseating to read...lol.
I know I am not made for many things in this world, but I know I was made to make that little book. Not for what is written in it, but rather for the inspiration that lead me to write it. HE, was I made for... and by Him was I made.
G-d. Christ. Love...all the same really.
Hmmmmm...despite the insecurities of life...perhaps that little black book not only represents my life now, but also another kind of- daughter Hope- altogether and no less of a divine and precious gift. The very kind born before the foundations of the earth; the kind that... steals time... the sort that simply and solitarily begs, "I AM, Eternal..."

Gby Little Children, let us pray without ceasing,
mike


Copyright © 1/04/2009 MAS
20 Comments
APPLE OF HIS EYE... Dec 26, 2008 8:21 am
758 Views
For some reason the other post isn't working so...
It'd felt awhile since I'd posted a poem...so here's one I wrote this morning...hope you like it...

APPLE OF HIS EYE

We spend our years as a tale that is told. (Ps90)
She says, "but the last few years that story's feelin old,
& *sigh* sometimes this world can just be so cold."
Feeling lots of pressure but she's not gonna fold.
After G-d formed her, He broke that mold.
She's beautiful and LOVELY and sometimes bold.

Head above the rest is a lonely way to fly
& she hates it when she has to say goodbye.
But, hush My Dear and don't you cry,
because to me: you're like an angel of the Most High.

"Number your days and apply your heart to wisdom." (ps90)
Milady, such are they who enter The Kingdom.
Child you know that with man- it's hard to shine -
when you're always having to draw that line.
& no amount of gold can change someones fate
You know that no mans castle is our spirits estate.
& they'll say, "why are you so uptight?,"
That which G-d's lips have called Walking Upright.
But, hush my Dear and don't you cry,
You are the Apple of His eye,
and no other little girl could ever take your place,
...from the ends of the Earth- just to see your face.
Travel- time and space for your warm embrace,

& don't ever forget to keep that lamp burning bright,
to keep a close watch for that thief in the night (MT 24:43) .
And when you dream, maybe dream...that if it's meant to be-
maybe you'll be my princess and I'll be your knight.
Yeah! Hey pretty girl let down your hair!
I see that silly dragon hanging out over there,
And this time I promise I wont fall asleep,
when upon them castle bricks, I do creep.

Now, hush My Dear and dont you cry,
Because you're the Apple of HIS eye,
and none of the other pretty girls could ever take your place,
...ends of the earth just to see your face,
Travel- space and time- for your warm embrace...
And you know, you're really not frail,
And no dungeons-dreary light could make you look pale.
Because "You're the head and not the tail (Deut. 28:13)."
Put your trust in His Word My Dear...
for not one of THEM... shall fail!
xxxxx

GBY,
Mike
-sabrefire


Copyright © 12/26/2008 MAS
49 Comments
I HATE MY LIFE Dec 22, 2008 12:37 am
434 Views

(Enlarge picture of this library cubicle graffiti, to ascertain title of the post.)

If library geeks had gang signs, methinks mine would be 2EDub. I have expounded on my blog before about my old favorite familiar place, the religious studies section of the University Library, second floor east wing, or 2EDub. My old home away from home for many a sleepless a night. I never had much company up there...not its least attractive quality either in my book, yes pun shamelessly intended (2Edub for life..lol.). I'd often read a few lines of some obscure and rather ancient text that struck my fancy for some reason, then stare off at the graffiti which amassed over the years on the study cubicles walls and table top. Some of the slang penciled in, others marker-ed on. And as monument to the more abitious, albeit unscrupulous artist, there were relics of the carved variety. They were the ones that would give me comparison of late night college student study... and prison detainees.
There were gems like "I hate my life!"
It was a positive time warp on 2EDub. Perfect for simply losing yourself in thought.
I'd actually come to revere that faint mold smell, that same variety that any respectable library has; rather similar to mom's cooking. No matter the stresses of day life, that place was always there. Open 24hrs. Except holidays. But, even the worst library geek is not too vexed by this.
Few others, seemed to find it so charming. Their angst scrawled in slang and immortalized upon the walls.
Nearing the end of this past summer I visited my old time-warping stomping ground, and I ran across a work of St. Augustine's. It was a small paperback I recall, nearly virgin to touch, and its acid washed pages were incredibly smooth. I could hardly refrain from affectionately petting it, as I perused its pages.
I was running short on time, but I opened to a page at random and the very first line astounded me. I hadn't time to run to the pay copy machine, so I took down in pencil the quote, before I set off to some less interesting and less geeky a task.
I just rediscovered this quote...as often I do, particularly and peculiarly I might add, when I need them. G-d is cleverly ironic in this way.

It reads:
"But if the Creator is truly loved, that is if He Himself is loved and not another thing in its stead, He cannot be evilly loved, for love itself is to be ordinately loved, because we do well to love that which; when we love it, makes us to live well and virtuously." St. Augustine

It strikes me that in these words, Love of Creator, is seemingly almost portrayed as the antithesis of sin. What is virtue? What is truth? What is faith?
It's rather Love of Creator isn't it?
Is virtue our main goal? Or is faith, or even truth? We cannot presume to attain any level of these precepts without first a Love of Creator. And as Augustine states, "He himself is Loved and not another thing in His stead."

I wasn't at the library because I loved the books, or the smell. I wasn't there because it was a perennial quiet study hide out. Time didn't float by so efficiently because of the beautiful (lol) decor of the cubicle walls.

I was there because I had Love of Creator. I wanted to chase Him, without running, but rather by sitting reading, reflecting and contemplating His Works and Creation.
His Son. His Holy Spirit.

Above the quote that I had written down, are words that I don't recall very well writing down. I'm not entirely sure if it even was also Augustine who said them.

"Canticles, The Bride of Christ, the City of G-d, sings, "order love within me."

"Order love within me." I think that is quite what my soul was itself singing up there, "alone" those many, many, a sleepless night.
Love Creator First, and nothing in its stead.

2EDub4Life YO! Creator for eternity...

GBY Little Children, and Merry Christmas Brothers and Sisters!
sabrefire
Mike


Copyright © 12/21/2008 MAS
23 Comments
SO, THIS IS LIFE...??? Dec 14, 2008 3:16 am
548 Views
I'd like to dedicate this to Miss Heidi my fair hearted missionary friend. This is written somewhat abstractly...

I'd learned life was cruel. Out there. Man's heart was hard, and obscured. Dull and blurry from the scars of some unseen past pain and sorrow. I could almost see it; but I could almost always feel it. Right about where the diaphragm resides in the torso; just a flutter, a spike of uneasiness. Like a tiny bird fluttering its wings on an unstable branch, and uncertain for a moment. Life was just..life, in those days. I lived in a myopic world. Slighted by sight. Reality was easy, even if it was cruel. I was still young.
But I had an edge, a strange one actually. Long as I can remember, I'd had it, and I didn't know exactly where it came from. I was told to have, a certain latent 'depth of soul' that people seemed to recognize and open up to. And when they opened up, and I listened, and spoke with reserved wisdom, that darkness almost seemed to flutter up like smoke, and dissipate in the air. They became Light, in both noun and adjective. Like a mutual healing or connection of lights. Many didn't know why they opened up, they told me. Some said it was because I listened. Simple. Maybe I'll never fully know in this life.
But in those times, I found true beauty.
Heart wrenching beauty. The sorrow of Christ.
But, I still know this world is cruel. And man's hearts are hard. But, there is more than just that darkness here, so long as you look for the Lights. So long as you listen, and have compassion. Then, you and The Messiah within, will make a difference.
And this, to me, is Life. Darkness to Light.

Isa 58:10 And [if] thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness [be] as the noonday:

GBY Little Children,
sabrefire

Copyright © 12/13/2008 MAS
22 Comments
HELP! Dec 10, 2008 3:53 am
598 Views


Unbelief

Help!
I've painted myself into a corner,
NO WAY OUT!
Now there's a fire,
NO WAY OUT!
Please send help,
NO WAY OUT!
Door is locked,
NO WAY OUT!
Window is Boarded,
CAN'T SEE OUT!
Haven't much air,
STILL NEED HELP!
I'll wait here,
NO WAY OUT!
Don't know where I am,
NO WAY OUT!
Hurry, Fire's getting closer,
NO WAY OUT!
Getting harder to breathe,
NO WAY OUT!
Won't make it much longer,
NO WAY OUT!
Clothes are on fire,
NO WAY OUT!
I need help,
NO WAY...IN...


Mark 6:5 And He (Christ) could there do no mighty work, save that He laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them.
:6 And He marvelled because of their unbelief. And HE went round about the villages, teaching


GB Little Children,
sabrefire

Copyright © 12/10/2008 MAS
27 Comments
WHAT ABOUT YOU??? Dec 6, 2008 11:59 pm
800 Views


One day you wake up, and all those old things that everyone had used to define you...they're, simply gone. All the many familiar faces, and...places, seem only as memories. Like a dream. Or chapters in a narrative, or photo album.
And you scarcely recognize yourself.
There simply isn't any longer just a "you." And perhaps the only way you can explain it, is that you're dead to the world.
And alive...in something entirely different...
What about you?

GBY Little Children,
sabrefire


Copyright © 12/6/2008 MAS
38 Comments
BC, I SEE YOU ARE HURTING... Dec 4, 2008 12:36 am
744 Views


It struck me today as I looked about...many of my friends are hurting and mourning over a shattered portion of their lives. Especially so right now here at BC. Many struggle to cling fast to the Lord as to see them through as their Rock, after a failed relationship, or divorce. Others have lost a dearly beloved, and find comfort in their Faith. Some have watched their dreams, to which was so much hope and promise placed, slip through their fingers or wither away.
Gone forever.
Whether it's death of a loved one, death of a relationship, or death of a lifelong dream...
Hurt is hurt. And the pain is real as life.
Pain and heartbreak is assured in this life. It dims our spirits, and tries with all it's might, it seems, to drag us into the shadows of existence...that place where their is no hope. So,...so we look up, and reach for the Son like a child who's fearful of the dark.

The shadows. Those, shadows of life. And the grey...the dregs, and the pits. Those hurts, they're the almost tangible personification of the absence of light. An absence of faith in our abilities, and a mourning for His return... while we feel powerless, and paralyzed by our inability to alter it's dark-ugliness.
We know their's a light that shines bright, within us. This we know for certain. And we are vexed, each of us- in our own inescapable station, to FORCE anyone to see it. We're fighting off darkness and struggling to let that beam of light that we alone can truly and fully see, out; simultaneously. It's a battle of darkness and light.
The Battle:
Mourning the death of a beloved, while trying to trust G-d.
Weeping over a failed relationship, while trying to trust G-d.
Gripped by thoughts of failure, while trying to trust G-d.
Etc...
Darkness of this world; while reaching for Light.

Our hearts are delicate as a flower. More fragile than glass. And when they are broken, we must mourn. Assuredly. "And Jesus wept." But we must ascend from the pit and reach toward that Light, the Son, the Eternal. We must pray, and beseech G-d, and when that hurt and darkness comes, as it surely will, we must arise from the earth, and wash, and anointed ourselves, and change our garments, and come again into the house of the LORD, and worship. And once again eat of the hope He has placed within us.
And let that Light inside, illuminate all this darkness...without. Be a Light unto others, and lift up the fallen. We're all in this together...

PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY...

"2Sam 18 :15And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.

16David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.

17And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.

18And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?

19But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.

20Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

21Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.

22And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

23But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."


Arise...and eat of hope...

GBY Little Children,
sabrefire


Copyright © 12/3/2008
29 Comments
JUST TO KISS THY LIPS... Nov 25, 2008 10:07 pm
718 Views


I wrote this tonight after thinking about the Love Jacob had for his beloved Rachel. Hmmmmmmm...hmmmmm...hmmmmmmmm...la-la-la...da-da-da...

JUST TO KISS THY LIPS

To kiss thy lips,
mine yearning grips,
upon a strange and peaceful land.
For the thing I crave,
this day is made,
a lovesick wretched slave!

Seven years endured their whips,
perchance to kiss thy lips,
tilling scorching sand,
had brought me near to grave,
and alas! upon the final day had made,
another- 7 year slave!

Passing days same as the last,
flesh rips,
and sun again dips,
as I dream upon thy lips,
and mine hands upon thy hips,
no day could end too fast!

7 years, then 7 days of time to pass!
Her hand in mine- an awkward sign,
when I'd sought to kiss thy lips!
faintness grips,
as nectar sips,
7 years and a week of honey drips...
off mine fair-maidens lips!

14 years I did stave,
off mine very grave,
just to kiss thy lips,
now tis mine,
and would seem an awful crime,
just to steal a single kiss...

Copyright © 11/25/2008


16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak [a] eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, "I'll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel."

19 Laban said, "It's better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me." 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

21 Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her."

22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. 24 And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.

25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?"

26 Laban replied, "It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter's bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work."

28 And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. 29 Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. 30 Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.
GBY Little Lovebirds All!
sabrefire
25 Comments
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

To link to this blog (sabrefire45) use [blog sabrefire45] in your messages.

28 M
January 2009
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1
 
2
 
3
 
4
1
5
 
6
 
7
1
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
Yosefa 43F1/9
Claudia_T 51F1/9
honest35200037F1/9
heidivb24 23F1/9
thedrifter 62M1/8
spbpt 56F1/8
Charity53076 32F1/8
Exodus1559F1/7
Dilta45F1/6
sodterea 31F1/4

Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
HOW I STOLE TIME...Claudia_TJan 9 9:49 am
TODAY!honest352000Jan 9 6:05 am
I HATE MY LIFEsabrefire45Jan 4 5:16 pm
APPLE OF HIS EYE...sabrefire45Jan 4 3:04 pm
DEADBEATS!sabrefire45Jan 1 7:29 pm
MY HONEYMOONsabrefire45Dec 31 11:48 pm
WHAT ABOUT YOU???sabrefire45Dec 29 1:50 am
The FirePostsabrefire45Dec 26 2:23 pm
DO YOU EVEN WANT TO BE HEALED???????sabrefire45Dec 18 10:49 pm
SO, THIS IS LIFE...???sabrefire45Dec 18 9:05 pm
ARE U A FOUNTAIN OF LIGHT???sabrefire45Dec 16 2:06 am