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ED HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 12, 2006 4:34 am
Mood: ecstatic,
1075 Views
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Ed is here, finally! He came in about 7:40 last evening. It is so totally amazing! We just picked up where we left off, no strangeness or shyness. It is like we hadn't been apart at all and like we had known each other for decades. This is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life!
Thank You, Lord! You have done more for me than I could have thought to ask for! I love You so very much!
We are planning to start back for Oklahoma next Tuesday. We will be driving and will stop and visit with my two sisters and their families just outside of Nashville.
I will keep you updated, for those who care to know!
Thank you all for your prayers. You are the best!
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17
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Christ Has Set Us Free! Let Us Walk in that Freedom!
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May 11, 2006 4:55 am
Mood: happy,
945 Views
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The words below are wisdom from the devotional My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I think these are wise words, indeed!
"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free..." (Galatians 5:11)
A spiritually-minded person will never come to you with the demand - "Believe this and that"; a spiritually-minded person will demand that you align your life with the standards of Jesus. We are not asked to believe the Bible, but to believe the One whom the Bible reveals (see John 5:39-40). We are called to present liberty for the conscience of others, not to bring them liberty for their thoughts and opinions. And if we ourselves are free with the liberty of Christ, others will be brought into that same liberty -the liberty that comes fromm realizing the absolute control and authority of Jesus Christ.
Always measure your life solely by the standards of Jesus. Submit yourself to His yoke, and His alone; and always be careful never to place a yoke on other that is not of Jesus Christ. It takes God a long time to get us to stop thinking that unless everyone sees things exactly as we do, them must be wrong. That is never God's view. There is only one true liberty - the liberty of Jesus at work in our conscience enabling us to do with is right.
Don't get impatient with others. Remember how God dealt with you - with patience and gentleness. But never water down the truth of God. Let it have its way and never apologize for it. Jesus said, "Go...and make disciples..." (Matthew 28:19), not, "Make converts to your own thoughts and opinions."
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12
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Continuing Saga of Ed's Trip to Get Me
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May 9, 2006 12:31 pm
Mood: anxious,
1164 Views
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Well, Ed did not make the bus this morning. Boo! Hoo! It is a long story and not worth going into details about. He does plan on getting on the bus tomorrow morning at 9AM, so he should be here in PA Thursday evening. One more day seems like torture, but I am trying to be patient. The Lord is in control. Please, send up another prayer if you think of Ed and me, okay? We would really appreciate it. I'll keep you posted!
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25
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Midnight Phone Call
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May 8, 2006 7:32 am
Mood: thoughtful,
875 Views
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We all know what it's like to get that phone call in the middle of the night. This night's call was no different. Jerking up to the ringing summons, I focused on the red illuminated numbers of my clock. Midnight. Panicky thoughts filled my sleep-dazed mind as I grabbed the receiver.
"Hello?"
My heart pounded; I gripped the phone tighter and eyed my husband, who was now turning to face my side of the bed.
"Mama?"
I could hardly hear the whisper over the static. But my thoughts immediately went to my daughter. When the desperate sound of a young crying voice became clearer on the line, I grabbed for my husband and squeezed his wrist.
"Mama, I know it's late, but don't...don't say anything, until I finish. And before you ask, yes, I've been drinking. I nearly ran off the road a few miles back, and..."
I drew in a sharp shallow breath, released my husband and pressed my hand against my forehead. Sleep still fogged my mind, and I attempted to fight back the panic. Something wasn't right.
"And I got so scared. All I could think about was how it would hurt you if a policeman came to your door and said I'd been killed. I want...to come home. I know running away was wrong. I know you've been worried sick. I should have called you days ago, but I was afraid...afraid..."
Sobs of deep-felt emotion flowed from the receiver and poured into my heart. Immediately I pictured my daughter's face in my mind and my fogged senses seemed to clear. "I think-"
"No! Please let me finish! Please!" She pleaded, not so much in anger but in desperation.
I paused and tried to think of what to say. Before I could go on, she continued, "I'm pregnant, Mama. I know I shouldn't be drinking now...especially now, but I'm scared, Mama. So scared!"
The voice broke again and I bit into my lip, feeling my own eyes fill with moisture. I looked at my husband who sat silently mouthing, "Who is it?"
I shook my head and when I didn't answer, he jumped up and left the room, returning seconds later with the portable phone held to his ear. She must have heard the click in the line because she continued, "Are you still there? Please don't hang up on me! I need you. I feel so alone."
I clutched the phone and stared at my husband, seeking guidance. "I'm here, I wouldn't hang up," I said.
"I know I should have told you, Mama. But when we talk, you just keep telling me what I should do. You read all those pamphlets on how to talk about sex and all, but all you do is talk. You don't listen to me. You never let me tell you how I feel. It is as if my feelings aren't important. Because you're my mother, you think you have all the answers. But sometimes I don't need answers. I just want someone to listen."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at the how-to-talk-to-your-kids pamphlets scattered on my nightstand. "I'm listening," I whispered.
"You know, back there on the road, after I got the car under control, I started thinking about the baby and taking care of it. Then I saw this phone booth and it was as if I could hear you preaching about people shouldn't drink and drive. So I called a taxi. I want to come home."
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7
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Ed and Jean Update!
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May 7, 2006 3:41 pm
Mood: excited,
930 Views
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Just to keep you posted - Ed is planning to arrive here in Pennsylvania on Wednesday of this week. He will meet most of my family and friends while he is here. Then we are planning to leave for Oklahoma next Tuesday. We will be stopping in Nashville to see my two sisters. We hope to be back in Oklahoma and on with our new life together next Thursday, the 18th.
Please send up a prayer for us when the Lord brings us to your minds that all goes smoothly.
Thank you all so much. You are the best!
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12
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Move of God or Empty Religiousness?
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May 5, 2006 6:04 am
Mood: contemplative,
815 Views
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Hi all,
My last "Weekly Thoughts" about the call to prayer and spiritual warfare on 6/6/06 at 6am/pm brought more return comments than any other "Thought" in the last few weeks.
Even in the Netherlands I met people who had received the call to prayer and spiritual warfare on 6/6/06 at 6, and they were equally puzzled, amused, annoyed and questioning of it as I.
I'm old enough to have seen a few moves of God since I was born again in about 1974, and I've watched how a move of the Spirit becomes increasingly hemmed in and controlled by man until the fire that once burned brightly is completely extinguished, replaced by religious rules and regulations, and kept on life support through flashy conferences.
I've also seen my share of wacky doctrine and practices as well.
When these things happen the anointing, in other words God's presence, leaves or is severely limited, and is replaced by emotion, until whole masses of people equate high emotional drama for high Spiritual manifestation.
At that point a former move of God becomes irrelevant to society and the masses involved become insular and self-focused. From there the death spiral continues, until it is all about "me", "me", and "me", and those masses who think they are serving God have completed their self-deception, thinking God's ways can be manipulated for personal gain or they get wacky, with personal doctrines found nowhere in the Word.
The trouble is, there are many who have been discipled in these movements and by these people, rather than having been discipled in the Word as students of Jesus. Instead of being like the Bereans in Acts 17: 11 who studied the Word to see if these things were so, they are followers of the people Paul told the Ephesian leaders to watch out for in Acts 20:30; "...men will arise from yourselves to draw away disciples after themselves..."
When a person is a disciple of someone other than Jesus, that person loses the ability to rightly divide the Word of God, nor can they discern the Spirit of Truth from a spirit of error. Having turned a deaf ear to the Holy Spirit's initial alarm in their spirits, they've given themselves over to error while thinking they are serving God and doing what he wants.
When that happens a person has elevated Charismatic or other doctrines of men to levels higher than the Word of God, and they become very offended and angry when challenged.
I know, because I've challenged some of the most cherished Charismatic doctrines, proving them to be unscriptural, trying to get people to wake up and stop being followers of man and develop their own ability to discern things, and I've received the ire of some of those who hold those doctrines Supreme. They defend their doctrines by saying, "But so and so says..."; having elevated that person higher than Jesus and His Word without even realizing it.
This is what I see happening or having already happened in so many streams of Christianity, and it's sad to me. However, I've seen it before. One of the more subtle revelations yet tremendously eye opening for me, was when I realized much of the movement in which I was born again, the charismatic renewal, had become religious.
Barb and I were born again and Spirit filled together as teenagers in the mid 1970's...people were being born again and baptized with the Holy Spirit across denominational and generational lines, though the youth made up the largest numbers.
Barb and I were each raised in denominational churches, but our spiritual guidance and discipleship in the Lord came through a Thursday night and Sunday night youth meeting about a dozen of us held, and a Saturday night 'prayer meeting' which consisted of a mix of ages, from teens to people in their mid 30's.
Shortly before we headed off to college the Saturday night group decided to become a church. After meeting a few times in a home they looked for a building, while at the same time decided to become affiliated with a denomination that favored a Catholic type liturgy and communion, while maintaining a Charismatic core.
The last time I attended that church was on a break from college, and the worship was OK, but restrained and scheduled rather than the free flowing worship we used to have on Saturday nights. Also, there came a prophecy during the service that started out by saying, "My children your lips praise me but your hearts are far from me..." and it went further downhill into heavy condemnation from there.
Not only could Barb and I tell that word was not from God because I Cor 14:3 says prophecy is for edification, exhortation and comfort (God will never speak in a condemning tone in a prophecy...it will build you up, comfort or encourage you), but our spirits were grieved as well, indicating the Holy Spirit did not send that word.
The revelation hit us, the freedom we had known on Saturday night was gone, replaced with a form of godliness but no power. Worse yet, they weren't denying the power of God, they thought it was better to control God than to let him flow. Their mindset had become that form and formality was superior to letting God have his way in a meeting.
You can predict what would happen...strife got in, people weren't happy, and the whole thing collapsed.
I remember in 1978-79 when Barb and I briefly started giving money because we were going to get a "100 fold return". At that time I only made $150 per week and I was calculating the return on $15...wow, God owed me $1500 for each $15 I gave!
But something didn't feel right on the inside, and Barb nailed it; "We've left our first love. We are no longer giving because we love God, but because we want him to give us money."
We got our hearts right, continued to give, but gave out of a heart of love for God, and have not given with a wrong motive since that time in early 1979.
Over the years I've seen many things like the 100 fold return doctrine, but have managed to steer clear. We've observed moves of God rise up, become regulated or strife develop, or in some way become more 'religious', and God leaves.
We've observed whole streams of Christianity, not just doctrines, that were genuine moves of God become wacky or need some time to balance out.
Personal prophecy is one of those more current streams. It seems that everywhere you turn someone wants to give you a personal word. Worse yet, some who are more experienced in that gift are claiming to be prophets, when they aren't, but are only proficient in that gift.
I was a speaker at an Apostolic and Prophetic conference and in the "green room" between sessions. One well known prophecy giver and "prophet" wanted me to sit in the hot seat to see what the Lord would say. I sat down, the tape recorders were switched on, and soon 2 or 3 people gave me words...all of which was 100% right on.
However, it was all over in about 2 minutes. The 'head guy' thought there should be more, so asked me to sit back down, which I did. From that point every word was off. What they were doing was actually telling me things I was already doing, but they put it in the future tense.
They told me God would begin using me to teach, and in administration...they didn't know that at that time I was the Executive Director of a Bible school which meant I was the chief administrator and taught every day as well.
Because they didn't feel the first session was 'good enough' because it was too short, they hung around and actually perceived my giftings rather than a word from God.
Some of those people bill themselves as prophets, but in reality they just had a fair amount of experience in prophecy, but evidently not enough.
Similar things are going on with the spiritual warfare camp. When I first became aware of this stream it was more along the lines of church intercessors rising up to a place they were noticed and acknowledged.
After that, carefully watched from the pulpits of churches, the pastors started giving the intercessors more freedom. Unfortunately what the pastors' feared came upon some of them; some intercessors already believed they were the power behind the throne, and some were used by the enemy to speak things behind pastor's backs, cause strife, and so on.
Then there was a big push to look into the history of cities and do battle with those resident spirits. Many good things have been brought to light about cities and towns, but some got so focused on finding those demonic forces that became the whole focus of their spiritual lives. That's off balance, for anything the Lord is doing in you and for you will be part of a larger whole, not the whole thing. There may be times of focus on one element or doctrine, but the Lord never wants us to lose sight of our fist love.
Some leaders turned God inspired times of prayer and words from God about what to and how to pray over a region into continual calls to prayer and fasting to break this or that, or get up at a certain time to pray to break this or that, and so on.
There are 2 main points of religion that give it away: One is man initiated works with the purpose of pleasing God or doing something for God, and secondly elevating minor elements to a high and lofty position.
For the former we have only to look at Cain, who refusing to offer a blood sacrifice instead offered that which came from his own hard work and effort.
The latter is seen in numerous places including Luke 23:23: "Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! You tithe on mint and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law; judgement, mercy and faith...(these things you should have done and not to leave the others undone).
In that day they tithed down to their spice rack...but Jesus' point was that they were majoring on the minors...money had become the focus instead of "weightier" matters. Some today are focused on minor things, elevating them high above where they should be.
This brings me full circle. A move of God or truth from God can flow from freedom to religion very subtly, leaving people wondering what to do with the call to prayer on 6/6/06 at 6, or wondering what to do with a 40 day calendar of scriptures to pray and fast over to break (fill in the blank).
I am very wary of people telling me to do this or that to get this or that result. If God initiates it I will know it in my spirit and anything that comes my way to tell me to do something will fall into line with what God has already been telling me.
If I do not have first the Holy Spirit telling me to do something to see a breakthrough in my life, but only man telling me to do something, it's not for me.
People can be called of God to stir up the body to pray, or to teach on prophecy, or to teach on money...but sooner or later there will arise a branch off the main vine that will turn the truth into a work, a revelation into a routine, and substitute God's presence for emotional fulfillment.
Not everyone will follow that off-shoot, but some will, and that is sad.
A very close friend who is going through a difficult time right now mentioned a sermon he heard in which the pastor talked about forgetting the plot in life.
That's easy to do. Everything I mentioned above about off-balance elements in otherwise good solid streams in Christianity is a distraction from our first love, and can cause us to lose the larger plot God has for our lives.
Many people have testified how before they knew the Lord they went after this or that---philosophy or drugs or false religions or work and career...they meandered all over before they came to the Lord.
Once we come to the Lord there is often the same type of thing until we mature in knowledge and life experience, however even when we are exposed to different streams in the body of Christ we cannot lose sight of the bigger picture.
There was a time in our teen years, about a month long I think, where it seemed we cast demons out of everybody in our prayer group. But that tapered off. It exposed us to casting out demons and helped contribute to our overall spiritual education and experience, but it wasn't the whole thing.
There was another time for 2 weeks where a strong healing anointing was on me, and everyone I laid hands on for healing got healed, then it lifted. I asked the Father why and he said this: "I just wanted to show you a little of what you'll be walking in later."
I think of the different steams and pet doctrines in the body of Christ like those seasons of my early life in the Lord. They are just seasons, minor in the big scheme, yet important to my overall education in the things of God.
My hope is that this week's thoughts will cause people to take a step back and look at the big picture and get their focus off what may happen 6/6/06 at 6 whether they pray or not.
I've been done for a long time worrying about what the devil may do, I'm caught up in what God is doing. I realize the enemy is out there, but I'm not afraid of him nor influenced by his plans. I'm caught up in the things of my Father.
When I hear of people being afraid of a certain date, or worrying about whether to obey a call to prayer and fasting to break this or that, or going to a conference where they charge $150 for a personal prophecy, or claim that if you give to X ministry that ministry anointing will come on you...I just see them as off balance elements which the Lord will bring back to balance eventually in one way or another.
These things aren't the main focus. Our first love is Jesus and the Father, and what they are telling us we should be concerned with.
Looking at the big picture,
Blessings,
John Fenn
cwowi.org
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3
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Thankful For The Thorns
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May 5, 2006 5:40 am
Mood: thankful,
765 Views
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I thank you, Lord, for every thorn,
Each heavy burden I have born.
The darkest moments of despair,
And every cross I've had to bear.
I'm glad I've suffered grief and pain,
Those seasons of distress and strain,
That stunned my pride and humbled me,
And turned my stubborn heart to Thee.
And thank You Lord, for every tear,
I've shed for those I hold so dear.
For 'tho I trusted you before,
Each crisis made me love you more.
For as the sorrows came and went,
They left me tired, weak, and spent.
With all my hope and courage gone,
I could not make it on my own.
'Twas then my prayers were most sincere,
With tender hands You soothed my fears,
And as my selfish will was purged,
A stronger, deeper faith emerged.
If I had had a life of ease,
And could have lived the way I pleased,
I might have never known the thrill,
Of living in Thy holy will.
The mountain tops, I must confess,
Were not where I was at my best.
But in the shadow of the vale,
I came to know my Savior well.
But for the valleys I've been through.
I may not love you as I do.
And might have never realized,
That thorns are blessings in disguise.
So, THANK YOU, Lord, on bended knee,
For everything you've given me.
Of life's desires, I've had the best,
Abundant joy and happiness.
Both light and shadows filled my days.
And looking back, I have to say,
The roses bloomed.............
They died............. I mourned.
And today, I THANK YOU......
For the thorns.
~Author Unknown~
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3
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The Search Is Over
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May 4, 2006 8:37 pm
Mood: curious,
837 Views
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Do you remember the old Survivor song - "The Search Is Over?" That is the way I feel since God brought Ed, my new husband, into my life. I keep hearing the chorus to that song over and over again in my mind. It goes - "The search is over. You were right there all the while." That is the way I feel. It seems like Ed was lost somewhere and I kept looking from man to man for him, but each one I looked at turned out not to be him. When I finally met Ed, it was as if I had finally found what I had been searching for all of my life. He was there all the time, I just hadn't found him yet. Does that make sense to anyone, or am I crazy?
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15
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To link to this blog (reallysaved) use [blog reallysaved] in your messages.
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