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Rules of Engagement for Arguments
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Jun 3, 2006 2:17 pm
Mood: contemplative,
767 Views
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As most of you know, I got married recently. Ed is the best! I am so thankful that the Lord gave me a man who is more than could have hoped or dreamed of asking the Lord for.
Even though Ed and I are perfect for each other, we are each far from perfect. We have had a couple sessions of intense fellowship already. I must say that I am surprised that it hasn't been more with our whirlwind courtship and then the stress of all we have been through in the last few weeks. (For details, see my previous posts.) Anyway, our times of intense fellowship have reminded me that there are Rules of Engagement when it comes to having a disagreement with your spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, friends, family, etc. I would like to mention a few of them. If you have more to add, I would love to hear them!
1. Don't ever, ever call the other person names! The argument may be over quickly, but those names will stay in the other person's heart, even if you didn't mean them.
2. Stick to the subject at hand. Don't bring other issues into the argument.
3. Never bring up past issues!
4. Always be quick to ask forgiveness for anything that you have done wrong.
5. Always be quick to ask forgiveness for how you made the other person feel, even if you didn't mean to make them feel that way.
6. Pray together as soon as possible, to allow the Holy Spirit to mend the hurt feelings.
7. If you hurt the other person in a particular way, try your best never to hurt him or her in the same way again.
8. Allow the Holy Spirit, over the next few days, to help you analyze the argument, to show you what you need to do to improve your relationship so that this argument does not need to be repeated. If legitimate issues were brought up, deal with them and tell the other person that you have dealt with them. If you need to ask the other person's forgiveness, then do it.
9. Always be ready to tell the other person where they were correct. Relationships are not about being a winner over the other person. It is about finding out what is best for the union. Wanting to win is selfishness and will destroy a relationship.
Well, those are my thoughts. A couple of things that I really appreciate about Ed and that he appreciates about me are these - we are each quick to ask forgiveness when we do something wrong and we are very careful not to hurt the other in the same way twice. These are awesome traits that the Lord has placed within us, and I would highly recommend that you look for people to be close to in your life with those same traits.
I welcome any Rules of Engagement for Arguments that you have found effective in your lives.
Disagreements will always arise between people who care deeply for each other. However, there is no reason for either person to walk away from a disagreement feeling personally wounded. If that happens, then there need to be some new Rules drawn up and followed in the future!
Just my thoughts...
Be blessed!
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Our Authority in Christ
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Jun 3, 2006 2:04 pm
Mood: thoughtful,
735 Views
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Christ gave us authority over all diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits. How awesome! That is so exciting to me, to think that He gave us the power to set people free in His name.
There is one word of caution that needs to be spoken concerning our authority, though, that many people don't like to hear. People love to hear that they have power and authority. What they don't want to hear about our authority in Christ, though, is that we are only to use that authority when and how the Lord tells us to.
Jesus said when He was here that He only did what He saw the Father doing. He did not do anything by His own will. To do so would have been sin. It is also sin for us to do so. If we go around casting out demons and healing without the Lord telling us when and how to do so, we will be sinning. The Word tells us in Romans 12 to present our bodies as living sacrifices, and I believe that includes not using our authority unless He gives us permission to do so.
It is like a personal accountant. He is given authority to write checks for his employer, correct? What would happen if he just wrote checks whenever and for whatever he wanted to? Just because there is money in the checking account and checks in the checkbook doesn't mean that he has the right to write as many checks as he wants, right? It is the same way with our authority in Christ. We have an account that never runs out of money. We have an endless supply of checks. However, the resources in that account do not belong to us really. They belong to the Lord. We are only His representatives here. We are to be in complete submission to Him in everything we do, even the good things like healing people and casting forth demons.
Just my thoughts...
I welcome your thoughts on this idea.
Be blessed!
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