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Are You Mr. America Or a Babe In Christ?
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Feb 19, 2006 5:47 pm
Mood: optimistic,
223 Views
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As I was reading some other blogs just now the Lord gave me a vision of what the Christian maturing process is like. He showed me a grown man who was strong and self-reliant, a Mr. America type. As the vision continued, this man became younger and younger until he was a little newborn. The Lord told me that this is what He designed the Christian maturing process to be like. It is the opposite of the natural maturing process, just like most things in God’s kingdom are opposite of the things in the natural.
When we first become Christians, we think we are invincible, the strongest of the strong. We are so proud and arrogant! We think we can take on the world single-handedly, in our own strength. As we mature in the Lord, though, He teaches us to lay down our pride and take up His humility. He teaches us to lay down our strength, so that His strength can be made perfect in us. He teaches us not to rely upon ourselves but upon Him. If we learn the lessons He teaches us well, we will eventually become like little babies, helpless in our own strength and flesh, totally reliant upon Him. Now that is Christian maturity!
We are mature in Christ when we realize that we cannot do anything good without Him. It is when we don’t choose our own way, but ask Him to choose for it us. It is when we realize that we are too weak to do anything of lasting consequence for Him on our own. It is when we look to Him to supply our every need, just like a newborn baby has to do. When we arrive at that place, then we are truly mature.
What stage are you at on your way to Christian maturity? Are you still an adult? Are you a rebellious teenager? Are you a pre-teen? Are you a small child or are you an infant, completely dependent and mature in Him? I hope we are all striving to become like that newborn babe in His arms. I know I am.
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Sexual Survey
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Feb 19, 2006 2:47 pm
Mood: curious,
339 Views
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Okay, I am curious. I made a post earlier, How Far Will You Go Sexually Outside Of Marriage?, in which I listed the things that I was willing to do sexually with a man before marriage. I would like to hear what others have decided is right for them. I would like to know if I am being too strict of not strict enough. Please keep your comments clean. Don't be vulgar or I will delete your comment. Thanks for your help here. I appreciate it!
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How Far Will You Go Sexually Outside Of Marriage?
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Feb 19, 2006 7:07 am
Mood: contemplative,
424 Views
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When I first came to Big Church, that was the last question I thought I would have to ask. How naive I was! Now it is one of the first questions I ask a man who wants to get to know me better. Why is that? One reason is this: most men here at Big Church aren’t dedicated to that! It is because the answer to this question will show me how committed a man is to the Lord. It will show me if he is spiritually mature.!
I think it is a very important question for us to ask ourselves as well as those we are looking at as people we might like to meet someday. We need to ask ourselves, because if we don’t know what we stand for and why then we will go along with the other person in the relationship. If we don’t ask the other person before we meet them, they may try to do things with us sexually that we never intended to have happen. That would not be a good situation.
So, I want to encourage you today, if you haven’t thought about how far you will go sexually with a person before you are married, to sit down today and do it! I think it will save you from a world of heartache later if you do it now.
In a previous post, Navigate the Dating Waters With Three Lists, I said that the Lord told me I could do the following physical things with my man before marriage - holding hands, hugging, kissing on the lips, but no necking, and nothing beyond that. I need to qualify this a little. The Lord has told me that until He shows me that a particular man is the one He has picked to be my husband, then I can only do the following things – hug and kiss on the cheek as a greeting and a good-bye. That is it. I am to treat every man like I would a brother or a friend unless the Lord tells me he is the one, he tells the man that I am the one, and we become engaged. After that, then I will be permitted to kiss him on the lips and hold his hand. Then that is as far as I am go until my wedding night.
Many of you probably think that this is too strict and that it is unnecessary to be like this. I beg to differ, though. God makes rules, guidelines and boundaries for our protection and good. The reason He doesn’t want us to go beyond these actions is because if we do, we lose our perspective. We create a bond with the other person that is not supposed to be there before marriage. Many people get married to the wrong person because they have gone too far physically with that person and have lost their perspective. God doesn’t want us to do that. He wants us to remain in a place where we can see His will clearly concerning a person. That place is one of treating them like a sibling or friend.
Well, that is my perspective. How do you answer the question, “How far will you go sexually outside of marriage?” It is one that we each should know the answer to for ourselves before we even think about meeting potential mates. Just my opinion, of course.
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Navigate the Dating Waters With Three Lists
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Feb 18, 2006 2:37 pm
Mood: satisfied,
308 Views
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When I first started talking to men again after being with my ex-husband for 17 years, I didn't have a clue what I was looking for in a man or how to find the right man for me. I made a couple of big mistakes right off the bat! Oops! I then settled down and asked the Lord for His wisdom in this. Duh! LOL! I am not saying what He told me will help anyone else, but it has been a tremendous help to me, so I thought I would share it with everyone.
The Lord told me that He did not want me to spend time with a man who was not the kind of man He wanted me to be with. He told me to make three lists. The first one was “The Qualities God Wants My Man To Have” list. He told me that it was very important that I know what to look for in a man so that I would be able to discern quickly what kind of relationship I should have with each man I came in contact with. I don’t know that anyone else’s list would be the same as mine, but here is the list the Lord gave me. It is rather short, just the top ten, because He only had me list the most important things in the order of their importance. If a man had the qualities on this list, then I could meet him in person.
1. He loves the Lord more than he does anything else in His life.
2. The Lord’s will is his will. He is totally committed to doing what God wants him to do. He does not go his own way in any area of his life.
3. He is Spirit-filled.
4. He is in full-time ministry or called to full-time ministry.
5. He shares my vision for ministry.
6. He is not a new Christian.
7. He is committed to celibacy until marriage. He is willing to go as far as I am before marriage when it comes to physical intimacy – holding hands, hugging, kissing on the lips, but no necking.
8. He is a man of honor and integrity.
9. I find him physically attractive.
10. We get along well.
The headings for the other two lists He asked me to make were "Have Possibilities” and “Just Friends.” When men approach me, I immediately put them on a list or discard them altogether. Some men I know upon the first encounter that I don’t want anything to do with. These men get discarded. They don’t even make a list. I don’t keep in contact with them at all. Some other men I encounter can safely be put on the “Just Friends” list. They are nice, but not marriage material for me, at least. Then there are some men who seem to have marriage potential. These men go on the “Have Possibilities” list. Most men don’t stay on this list very long, usually less than two weeks, depending upon how often we talk. I quickly start asking them questions that will let me know if they have the qualities that God told me to look for. It doesn’t take very long to find out whether they do or not. If they don’t, they are moved from the “Have Possibilities” list to either the “Just Friends” list or they are discarded, depending upon what I find out about them as we talk.
So, this is the system the Lord had me set up to help me navigate the dating waters. He doesn’t want me investing my emotions and energy in a relationship that is not going to be the one He wants for me. He does not want me to get emotionally attached to someone who isn’t the right one for me. He showed me that many times people get married when they shouldn’t because they kept seeing each other even when they aren’t what they each really want. They become emotionally attached, and sometimes physically, and then just go with the flow.
For me, glorifying God is what I am here for and what my marriage will be for. That is why spiritual qualities are just about the only ones on my list. If a man doesn’t have it together spiritually, then he is not the man for me.
I did ask the Lord why I had to go through this process. I really thought it would be much more effective if I just ignored men altogether and waited for Him to plop the right one on my doorstep. He didn’t tell me why He wouldn’t do that. He just told me He wouldn’t. He told me I had to be out there where they were in faith for Him to do His work, so that is what I am doing. The man I talked about in my previous post, The Man Of My Dreams?, has been on my list for 6 months now. That is a long time, since no other man has lasted there longer than two weeks! That is a good sign, but not proof positive that we will be together forever. We are still in the exploration process.
Like I said in the beginning of this very long post, I don’t know if this will help anyone else, but it has sure saved me a lot of time, emotional trauma and energy. I hope it helps someone else, too! Be blessed in Him!
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Confession Time!!!!!!!!!!!
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Feb 17, 2006 11:36 am
Mood: eager,
381 Views
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I was remembering a post I made to my blog quite a while ago entitled Jaded People. I was commenting on how many of us older Christians are afraid to reach out and love again for fear of being hurt. Well, I have a confession to make. When the Lord brought the man in my post The Man Of My Dreams? back into my life, I was not nearly as brave as I thought I should have been. I usually have this zeal for whatever the Lord has in store. Not this time, though! I was afraid. I was afraid to open my heart to this man who had hurt me in the past. I thought about discarding the chance at love because of that fear. Since then I have asked the Lord to remove this spirit of fear from me, though. I want to be brave in Him. And you know what? He did remove it! Thank You, Lord! I am ready now to walk forward in this relationship and finish its journey, no matter where it takes me.
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12
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Lord, I Am Yours
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Feb 16, 2006 10:55 am
Mood: content,
318 Views
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Lord, I lay myself at Your feet once again today. I present myself as a living sacrifice to You as you tell me to do in Romans 12. You say it is my reasonable act of worship, and I can see why. After everything that You have done for me, there is nothing that I desire to withhold from you. Everything I am, everything I own, everything I cherish I lay at Your feet. Do with my and mine as You see fit. I only ask that I may dwell in Your presence all the days of my life. In Jesus' name, Amen!
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The Man Of My Dreams?
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Feb 16, 2006 10:48 am
Mood: hopeful,
408 Views
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A man who I cared about very much came back into my life recently. It was totally unexpected, and I must say, a little unappreciated at first! It had been 3 months since I heard from him. We had a disagreement and that is how long it took him to be willing to talk to me again.
I was so happy to hear his voice at first. After we hung up the phone after our conversation, though, I became angry! I had put him and my feelings for him behind me. How dare he ask me to open my heart to him again after I had effectively closed it? How dare he expect to pick up where we left off? How dare he expect me to be in a relationship with him unless I knew exactly where it would end? I wanted to run! I wrote him a pretty harsh email, and even sent it to him. At the same time I was crying out to the Lord to let me forget him again and move on.
Thank God He doesn't always answer our prayers the way we think we want Him to! The Lord told me not to push him away, but to call him and ask his forgiveness for the email. He told me to listen to this man's heart as well as his words while he was talking to me. I did that and I am so glad I did! We got everything resolved and discovered that our hearts are in the same place! He wants to explore our relationship to see if I am the one for him and I want to explore it to see if he is the one for me!
So, here we are - starting on our journey together again where we left off. Where will it end? Will it end in marriage? Will we just stay good friends? I don't know. We both only want the one God has for us to marry. Neither of us is willing to settle for any less than that in our lives. So, if He wants us to be together, then we will. If He wants us to be good friends, then we will. I know what my personal desire is, but I lay that at His feet. His will is my will.
Just thought I would share my heart with you today. If we come across your mind, will you please pray for us? I would so appreciate it!
Be blessed in Him!
Jean
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God Does Not Want Men To Be Women!!!!!!!!!!!
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Feb 16, 2006 10:31 am
Mood: contemplative,
364 Views
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I think that there is a real tendency in our society today to try to make men more like us women. I don't see men trying to make us women more like them as much, though. Why are we doing this, women, and is it what the Lord wants? It seems to me that God created man in him image and He said it was good. I think we should think it is good, also. God gave men certain attributes that equip them to fulfill the roles God has given them. Why do we want to make them into women like us? Why don't we appreciate them for what God created them to be?
We want men to be sensitive, talk about everything, paint our toenails and be all gushy. I say stop the madness! That is not what men were put here for! They are here to protect us, lead us, love us, support us and make the major decisions for us and our families! They are not here to be our girlfriends! God gave us other women to talk endlessly with and dissect every detail of our lives with. Men are not equipped to deal with that, so I think we should stop expecting them to!
I am not at all saying that men should not be sensitive to our needs that they are meant to fulfill. They should be there with a shoulder to cry on when we need it, but I don't think we should expect them to want to talk endlessly about what we are crying over. That's what girlfriends are for.
I am not saying that I am right. That is just the way I am feeling today. I welcome any input others would like to give.
I don't know who will agree with what I am saying here more, men or women, but I am suspecting that it will be men.
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Victim Mentality!
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Feb 10, 2006 7:31 am
Mood: hopeful,
441 Views
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I have to say that I am really tired of the victim mentality that pervades our society today. It is in the body of Christ, too. I continually hear people saying that they are a certain way because of what has happened to them in their past, and they can't change or even be blamed for it! That is so untrue! We are not meant to be victims but to be "more than conquerors through him who loved us." Don't accept the enemy's lies that you can't change the way you are! Ask God to make you an overcomer instead!
Let me share a little of my testimony with you so that you can see the power of God to take someone from being a victim to being more than a conqueror through Christ.
I grew up in a very bad home. I was sexually abused, not only by family members, but also by men at my school. I was physically abused. I was neglected. I was mentally abused. I was taught to hate everyone, including my brothers and sisters. I was told by my parents that they wished I had never been born.
Statistically, I should have grown up to be abusive myself. I should have been an emotional basket case, not being able to function properly as an adult and I did begin my adult life that way. I used my childhood as an excuse for all kinds of bad behavior. However, the Lord is wonderful! He taught me that I didn't have to settle for being what was expected of me because of my childhood. If I let Him, He said that he would change me into a totally different person than what I then was allowing myself to be. He said that if I let Him, He would change me so much that people would not even know what kind of childhood I had unless I told them. He said I would appear to people to have had the best opportunities of anyone, a truly blessed childhood. And you know what? He did just that!
You cannot tell today that I was the "victim" of poverty, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, and hatred. I am a woman of honor and integrity because of what God has done in my life. But do you know what the best part of this story is? It is this - God is no respecter of persons! What He did for me, He wants to do for each of you, too! He can set you free to be what He called you to be rather than what your past tries to tell you that you are!
Won't you let Him transform you from a victim to a person who is not only a conqueror, but also more than a conqueror? He wants to so badly! Won't you let Him? If you don't know how, just get in touch with me. I will be glad to help you!
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11
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Should Christians Trust Psychology?
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Feb 10, 2006 6:45 am
Mood: hopeful,
349 Views
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Should Christians Trust Psychology? Absolutely not! I majored in Psychology in college. I became so frustrated with it that I didn't even finish! I knew that even if I did finish I would never use it.
Oh, Psychology is good at identifying a behavior or set of behaviors and then labeling them. It can even offer bandaids for gaping wounds. Psychology is unable to set people free from their behavior(s),though, even though its adherents claim that it can.
Only Christ can set a person free from mental illness, and can He ever! He was setting people free before Psychology was even a word, and He continues to set people free today! I have testimony after testimony to verify that! The Word says in John 8:36, "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed."
So, you have a choice - you can use the little bandaid that Psychology offers you for your mental illness or you can be totally set free by the Lord Jesus Christ. Life is all about choices. Which will you choose?
If you have any questions or need assistance in this area, feel free to contact me here at Big Church! I will be glad to help you.
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To link to this blog (reallysaved) use [blog reallysaved] in your messages.
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