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Lord I Don
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Jun 28, 2009 9:41 pm
Mood: I feel lifeless,
711 Views
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Brethren,
As you may recall me writing from my previous posts about the property settlement with my x husband that I had to wait for over 10 years to get my fair share for my 2 girls and the shocked lawyer which hasn't gone through as they were saying it would (of course I took their words for gospel).
My x and myself have built a mansion overseas (I had no say in it of course it was his way or the highway).
The house was built on his fathers property on his fathers name of course.I was against it as he has 2 sisters and thought they will try to get a part of it,and suggested that the house be under his and my name.His reply was he didn't trust me.ME..who tolerated his womanizing,drinking,gambling and paying for his debts,overseas vacations all by his self visiting his family,my parents paying for his parent's and sisters fare which haven't been refunded to this day.
When he said I couldn't be trusted I again said perhaps the house should be on our girls names to which he bluntly said he didn't trust them either..!!??
I-my girls my parent's who was the very opposite of him couldn't be trusted..!!!???? HHMMMMM..
Shortly afterwords I found out a piece of land right next to the house was bought by him which was under his name only.
By then I felt I was being stabbed thousand times with a butchers knife and my heart was being ripped out bit by bit..Time for a confrontation that I wasn't looking forward to.He said he was hoping to surprise me by not mentioning it to me..(another pleasant surprise,how fortunate was I ??)
His father passed away this year and I was told by my lawyer that I was successful in getting half of the property.WOW JUSTICE FINALLY..Last night my mom called from overseas advising me not to worry I wont be getting anything out of the settlement simply because the property is on his younger sisters name,which the lawyer knew from day ONE..and now NOTHING..First time the judge was paid by my x now he was..
Last night when I heard the news I cannot explain what and how I felt,why is he doing this to his girls,he tells them he loves them,would do anything for them.When we cook they take food to him,give money when he's broke which is often,(I don't)..
He spends time with the younger one but our older he hardly ever did-does yet they both love him dearly and tell him..I love you dad.I hardly hear those words from them..not that I mind because I feel it..
Second heartache is I purchased an apartment and wasn't able to go ahead with it,was meant to get a FULL REFUND according to my lawyer here to which she was surprised as I was the ONLY ONE that would get it back.However only 50% was put into my account other half the developer took as interest..extremely tiny possibility that he just might feel sorry for me and give the rest..
Where I live now there's a high crime,drinking,drugs,fights constant noise,have been trying to get another place to move to but to no avail.Have become a nervous wreck,withdrawn into a shell of despair.Sleepless nights,hands,body trembling,don't feel like and not able to read as much as used to,or pray as much.
Can't even cry,my eyes are wet with tears but no tear is rolling down my cheeks,my bones are dry,my spirit's vexed,feel like a bomb ready to explode..hanging onto God by fingernails..SIGH....
HE's in control i know..BUT..why is He allowing all this to happen AGAIN..???
Am I absolutely 100% sure and feel His love..??? YES..but then why am I discouraged by this injustice then,why why why..??
Most of the time I don't allow things to get to me,am I angry with YOU LORD..?? NOOOO..just questioning YOU ..need answers..please,please..don't be angry with me for having this great need to have answers..Don't want to be stuck where I'm now.
If I'm to remain where I'm now I cannot do the work YOU have placed before me and I know You need me there OH' LORD MY GOD.....
Take this cup away from me..but only if it's YOUR WILL LORD...
Please don't allow satan to have his way with me..now or ever.
I'm yours Lord..You died for me..You purchased me Lord,there's nothing about me that You don't know.My life has been as Job's for most of my life as You know...
Have Thy Own Way Lord Have Thy Own Way,
Thou Art The Potter I'm The Clay.
Make Me And Mold Me Please Sweet Lord
I Pray.....
Amen
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20
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Swine flu..2 doors away from my sisters place..
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Jun 16, 2009 5:56 am
Mood: frustrated,
659 Views
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A tongan family of 12 all in one house just 2 doors away from my sisters was shown on the news tonight as well as the local primary school not to mention a great number of suburbs in the Eastern Suburbs all infected this week..Last week there was no mention of it at all.These poor people ran out of food,(feeding 12 is not easy)so the man of the house decided to go to the nearest store and get some food for his family since no one even bothered to offer any..No doctor,friends,relatives,the government did not give 2 hoots about them at all.This wonderful people went to church for praise and worship apparently some members from New Zealand have had it and didn't know about it till it was much too late.My brother in law and nephew left for Europe trip today and my sister and 15 year old niece are a bit worried.My daughter lives 2 streets away from my sisters and has a very weak immune system and catches everything that goes around.Of course I'd be happy for all of them to come stay with us but don't feel my sister will somehow.I'm hoping to go and the next day or so to get my girl and have a basket of food with me to give to the Tongans while they are confined in doors and hoping the man of the house will not go out and infect others.
I'm aware the government is not telling us the whole truth about this flu as they did in the beginning..What a shame that is....
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7
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Friends please respond............
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Jun 11, 2009 6:22 am
800 Views
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I have collected some funds for my Minister
that he prayed about and have given 10% of
what I got back from the developer few months
ago.He told me that he's been praying for someone
to be a fund raiser and it seems to him that the
Lord has answered his prayer..me..
Now I really need your help with ideas,I have a few
of my own but would greatly appreciate if any of you
know of ways to help me out please.
Thanking you all so very much.
 
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9
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What would you do..??
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May 11, 2009 6:35 am
948 Views
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Was driving to get some fruit and vege's today when all of a sudden a car was coming towards me from the opposite direction
I just stopped and kept beeping in shock.He was centimeters
away from me.He kept throwing abuse at me and told me to move.
I looked at him in disbelief,not only did he come from the opposite side of the road directly at me but yell and abuse me. My jaw dropped to my knees,my body froze.
When he realized I wasn't going to move he reversed and drove off swearing..Lucky for both of us the road was empty.That incident shook me up a bit and couldn't get it out of my head for few hours..How would you handle a situation like that..??
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10
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Prayer for my dougher please.
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Apr 28, 2009 3:44 am
1081 Views
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Saints of God.
My 29 year old girl is not getting better but worse with the flu.
Her sister is with her while I have a 2 day break.I took her to the doctors last week,she was put on steroid anti biotic ks for 3 days.My younger girl took her toni te again and they were told she's worse,he's given her a strong dose if anti biotic injection,ordered a chest X ray,and said she might have to be hospitalized.She has a nasty chest infection he feels.
Thank you all once again for your prayer's
yours in Christ
marianna 
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23
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Couldn't sleep without sharing with you all...
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Apr 27, 2009 7:48 am
1117 Views
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My dearly beloved family at big church..
I have this feeling of enormous AGAPE-LOVE for you all,
This love that I'm not quiet sure how to explain
that might make sense.The kind of love that a
mother has for her children and wants the very best
for them.Might sound crazy but have to get it off my
chest.As I'm writing this tears are swelling in my eyes
my heart is filled with gratitude for the love I have
experienced from every one..Well almost everyone,nonetheless
I find that I truly love even those that haven't been so loving.
God knows I haven't been and admit it.
We are living in the world's last moment's.This moment is ours
but tomorrow may not be,who's to know what will-can happen.
Beloved..our Jesus is coming soon..we have no time to waste,no time for trivial things.All the signs are being fulfilled right before our very eyes.I know many have got their lives in order and right with God,but there are some that still haven't.We are still very fortunate that we have the freedom to worship our
loving Savior in churches..Other's are not so fortunate.We still have the Living Word,but a time will come and it's coming brother's,and sister's..when our Bibles will be taken away from us just like they used to be in WW11..!! History will repeat it self,but this time around it will be so much worse then ever before..We need to memorize Bible verses like children in Russia Poland,Romania etc.Some of those children know the Bible word by word..Hard to believe but true..
Jesus is standing at our door and knocking..Let's let Him in.
Satan wont knock..he'll just barge in and take over 100%
Lets give it all to Christ..not just bit today,and a bit tomorrow.Tomorrow may never come for some.The door of mercy is still open,but it wont be open for very long brother's and sister's.Give it all without holding anything onto.We can't have some of Satan's food and not be on his full diet brother's and
sister's.Life with a total surrender is a lot better with God then living in this sinful world that's full of uncertainty,sadness,hatred,tears,separation,divorce,death
Does any one of us wont to hear those dreadful word's........................................
'IT'S TOO LATE IT'S TOO LATE'
I started off with sharing my love with you all but this has turned out to be a whole sermon.I know no one likes long post's including me,the words just kept flowing.Please bear with me as you read it.I pray that it will be a blessing to some one who may be wavering,as much as every one here has been a huge blessing to me since I have been here..
Respectfully yours,sister in
Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior
Marianna S
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29
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Feeling much better..
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Apr 27, 2009 6:04 am
747 Views
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My dear brother's,sister's.
Thank you all so very much for praying
for my girls and me.I'm feeling a lot better
but my girls are still sick,specially my 29
year old girl.Her immune system is weak and
she seems to be picking up all the common colds
and flu's that are going around.Please continue to
keep them in your prayers..Thank you all once again.
Marianna xxxix
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0
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Whooping Couph (prayers needed)
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Apr 22, 2009 5:17 am
Mood: drained,
1031 Views
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Dear prayer warriors need you prayers please
for my girls and myself.We have been sick for
3 weeks now and haven't recovered.Went to the
doctors 3 times.Well tonite we have seen another
one (thank God) he heard our couphing orchester
ordered a blood test,marked it URGENT,prescribed
antibioticks,couph mixture,and strongly beleives
we have WHOOPING COUPH..Now my younger girl and my
self reary ever get sick but this time it hit us
like a ton of bricks.Iam very thankful for your
prayers in advance.
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13
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Prayers Needed..
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Apr 14, 2009 4:59 am
1242 Views
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Dear prayer wariors..
Both of my girls and myself have a nasty flu
that seems to be getting worse day by day.
I know I'm run down with things but can't
afford to stay in bed.Have so much to share
with you all but have no energy to write...
Not like me to get sick,specially this long,
perhaps God is telling me to slow down a bit.
Who's gonna take care of whom first..?? lol
I know there's so many people n things we should
pray for..plz include my girls and me in them
we'd be very grateful..
Thanking you all in advance,
marianna and family xoxoxox
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30
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Thank you all very much...
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Apr 2, 2009 1:53 am
906 Views
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Just wanted to express my gratitude to every one for responding to my last 3 blogs..;my attitude,shoked lawyer,and prayer request for my driend.These 2 days have been very stressful for me with what has hapened to this poor girl and her children.Just got off the phone with her and thought I'd let give you an update on her wellbeing.Her husband and his family got told by the police to vacate the premises and allow her to stay there ...
He got arrested but she didn't want to have him charged,I think she just wont's him to leave her alone.She's got an AVO against himand feels much safer for now..Court appearance is this coming monday.I feel so drained with worry for her and the kids safety,and can imagine what she must be feeling as I was in her shouse while I was married.Thanking you all again for all your love and prayers.
Marianna
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