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BIBLE SALES
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Aug 27, 2008 5:23 am
Mood: giggly,
642 Views
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BIBLE SALES
If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!!!
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible F-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-he re and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!
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10
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Author, Pastor McLaren works to reunite religions.
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Aug 27, 2008 4:42 am
Mood: frustrated,
647 Views
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GRAND RAPIDS -- Brian McLaren says the three Abrahamic religions --
Christianity, Judaism and Islam -- are very dangerous.
"Christians, Muslims and Jews are, in some ways, the most dangerous people
on the planet, and probably Christians being the most dangerous because
their fingers are closer to the most nuclear weapons," he told an audience
at Baker Book House.
But a new series of books on ancient religious traditions -- including an
introductory one by McLaren -- seeks to find unity in the ancient practices
these religions share.
"If (Muslims, Christians and Jews) can find points of contact, maybe it will
help us avoid pressing these buttons," he said.
McLaren, a pastor, speaker and activist, spoke last week about some of his
books, including his latest, "Finding Our Way Again" (Thomas Nelson, 200 ,
which explores a return to some ancient practices held in common by these
three religions, such as fixed hour prayer and sincere observance of the
Sabbath.
"What did we know in church history that we've forgotten?" he said.
His book is the first in a series that will feature seven books by other
authors, each focusing on practices that were Jewish then adopted by
Christianity and Islam.
McLaren is a proponent of the emerging church movement, though he prefers to
call it an "emerging conversation" in a changing world.
"The church as it's existed, as it's developed in modernity, is going to
have to do some rethinking and retooling to remain faithful during these
changes," he said.
Conservative critics have targeted McLaren for his views, something that
likely will continue now that he has been involved in a commercial promoting
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. The advertisement aired
during the CNN Faith Forum hosted by the Rev. Rick Warren and was paid for
by a political action committee called Matthew 25.
McLaren said he never before involved himself in a political campaign, but
he feels strongly that Obama is the best candidate to lead the U.S. The ad
touched on families to reach out to evangelical viewers of the forum.
As to whether religious voters will be shocked to hear an evangelical
supporting a Democrat, McLaren replied, in part: "The Gospel can never be
contained by one party."
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8
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Book to give away...
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Aug 26, 2008 3:58 am
Mood: content,
618 Views
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I have somehow in my library 2 books with the same title given to me when i was going thrugh my divorce titled ;THE DANCE OF ANGER;
During the process we go thrugh different stages.Happy to give one away to anyone who needs it,or they know of someone that might need it.there is a catch though.The person that winns it will have to be willing to write a blog and give something away too.The gift can be anything.So ..you have to put your name down to enter..The winner will be anounced in 2 weeks from today..BTW..where is our young man from the last contest..NJB?
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4
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How safe are our hospitals?
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Aug 26, 2008 3:30 am
Mood: curious,
629 Views
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How many times we heard..healthy people go to a hospital to have a minor surgery they come out a lot sicker..3 out of 5 hospitals have GOLDEN STAPH INFECTION!!!!
Is this just happening here in Australia ,or is it world wide?
Did you know once you have it it's always dormant in your body..This is very freightening ,I almost lost my baby girl to it when she was about 3 years old..If it wasnt for my loving church famile,including mine,praying and fasting..I would have lost her..She is a miracle baby..was touch and go!!
Praise His Holy Name for ever and ever amen..
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8
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BIG CHURCH=JERRY SPRINGER
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Aug 22, 2008 6:10 am
Mood: frustrated,
802 Views
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DO SOME OF THE BLOGS HERE REMIND YOU OF
JERRY SPRINGER??? REMINDS ME,WATCHED A FEW EPISODES..
SOME PEOPLE HERE MUST HAVE PMT OR PMS,MENOPAUSE-
MINIPAUSE-LONG PAUSE????????
OR JUST SUFFER WITH X-RATED FRUSTRATION!!
LIFT YOUR TOPS TO GET SOME BEADS..ROLF
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20
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NJBeleiver
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Aug 16, 2008 10:10 pm
703 Views
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YOU NEED TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!!!!
   where are youuuuuu?
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8
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Our Children.
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Aug 14, 2008 4:48 pm
701 Views
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Beloved.
If something is of great importance to us how often do we need to say it.Would it be just once..perhaps twice? Most of us have children that need to be told time, and time again to do one thing,and they forget or say.. yeh, yeh, yeh..will do it later or don't do it at all..or even worse..ah mom,dad what do you know...you're too old ..too old fashined..this is a new generation..doesn't apply to me-us..how do we as parent's feel? hurt..unloved..sad..lecture them.. maybe what we say is not important to them..do we give up on them and let them do what they like..let them hurt themselves and turn a blind eye and a deaf ear,thinking surely once is enough I dont need to remind her-him constantly.
What do we do as parents? 
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8
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August Babies Comp.Draw
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Aug 14, 2008 5:30 am
664 Views
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Wishing luck to all the contestants.
The draw will be in a few hours,please keep your eyes on this blog thanks..
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5
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Lord thaks for another day.
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Aug 10, 2008 5:18 am
647 Views
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Thank You my loving Lord for another day,
I don't know what other adventures it holds for me.
I may be surprised by joy,
or wounded by sorrow.
Help me to be thankfull for all circumstances
to beleive that what comes my way
comes with all your loving and permission.
Grant O God that I meet it as Your child
without doubt or fear,
knowing that whatever happens,
my relationship with You is never in jeopardy.
And grant that I may be able
to bring You love and joy
into the difficult circumstances that confront
me.
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4
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To link to this blog (philopatir) use [blog philopatir] in your messages.
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