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Bringing people together in love and faith
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Nobody worries about Christ as long as he can be kept shut up in
churches. He is quite safe inside. But there is always trouble
if you try and let him out.
-- G. A. Studdert Kennedy
A Christian……..a follower of Christ……how do you follow Christ? How do you love Christ? Whose will………His will? How do you hear Him when He speaks? Do you hear Him? Do you listen?
Which are you…….one like the woman caught in adultery……..or the prideful scorner hurling stones?
Are you like the humble tax collector who comes before God admitting your brokenness……….or are you like the Pharisee…..better than the broken one?
Are you saved? You know the beginning…….you know the ending…….but what comes between?
What does this mean?
Luk 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
What does it mean to you?
I have to admit, there is nothing easy in being a follower of Christ. It’s easy being saved, easy reading the Bible, going to church, praying but when it comes to actually living our belief and faith……we fail miserably.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
I have taken these two verses to heart in a big way. Because being a follower of Christ is sometimes burdensome. Giving up your desires for His desires, asking for His will in your life as opposed to your own….this is not an easy thing. But He equips us, and gives us the strength we need to walk the walk with Him.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
When you ask God to create in you a clean heart…….it means sometimes He has to break you down, bring you to your knees……..and it hurts! Coming face to face with God with all your brokenness has got to be one of the most painful things you will ever do….but I can tell you from the depth of my heart that it is the most spirit refreshing thing you will ever do!
The closer you draw to God, the lonlier you feel as a Christian. There is nothing sadder than talking with a fellow believer about the wonders of the Holy Spirit, the amazing grace of God, and they look at you with glazed eyes. I know this because I too once stood with glazed eyes, just “not getting it”. When I talk about listening to His Word while I sleep, or listening to His Word on my IPOD as I walk, other Christians look at me as though I am whacko!
Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
What does that verse mean to you? It means exactly what it says to me.
And if we are mocked for loving God this way……….who is being mocked……is it me………is it God’s work in me……..is it God Himself?
Mt. 11:15
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| HALF IN AND HALF OUT...... |
Jun 18, 2008 4:35 pm
874 Views |
Psa 42:1 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
Psa 42:2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
Psa 42:3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
Psa 42:4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
Psa 42:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
Psa 42:6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.
Psa 42 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
Psa 42:8 Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
Psa 42:9 I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?
Psa 42:10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?
Psa 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
This psalm has been going through my head and I feel it is so relevant to what I'm experiencing. There is so much going on. I have had to retreat to the shelter of my Saviour...I have needed His balm so desperately.
I have been trying to figure out how to express to you what I am feeling....but it's harder than I thought it would be! You have to know....I am not going through a depression.
I read Sabrefires comment on my last post and it speaks so much of what I am going through. Sabrefire, my love....your words I know go so much deeper than the physical...I know what you are saying to me and I have had to paste it here coz it speaks more than I could say!
For the believing woman- whose mind and heart tells her constantly that she has outgrown the limitations of her bodily shell- she becomes dismayed because of her inability to mold her world into a more suitable, heaven-like, habitation.
The mind is imprisoned, shackeled by ever-aging flesh, pain, desires, and insecurities. She must rewrite her reality...though her mind constantly scrawls on upon the walls of the inner chambers, as a prisoner might. Suffering a sentence with forced patience; graffiti only she can see in her dark solitary cell.
BUT- she is the artist of its writing, the sole master of her cell. The life among the rocks. And though she continually weeps because of her confinement, she is safe here...with her Lord in her heart.
Though she feels imprisoned, silent to the world, and absent from their thoughts, vision and hearts.
SHE IS PART OF THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD.
The light of the world.
And G-d is there.
GBY Mom!
Sabrefire
I am half in and half out....half of me is in heavenly places and half of me is in this world. I am shackled by my earthly body...this is the part of me that feels pain.
the pain of my sin
the grief of losing something so precious to me
the frustration of having a "knowing", and understanding of things that long to be spilled out to the hungry
the restlessness of being in a world I don't call home anymore
Some of you reading this will have a "knowing" in your heart.....you will understand the depths of what is in my soul. I am half in and half out...part of the beauty that is here on earth, part of the beauty that is heaven.....I have to find my place in all this. No, God will find my place in this...it isn't up to me...
There is a stirring in heaven....I can't explain it. There is also a spiritual battle....can't explain that either. The cry of my heart goes deeper than even I can explain. Forgive me if I'm not making sense. My tears have a place...
Yes Beth....you know.....Elijah cried the same tears.....
Pray for me....but know that I am ok. My desperate cries to God...He knows I'm half in and half out.
Love you, my friends so much....you have no idea how much you mean to me. Your words, your encouragement, your love...I feel it so deep in my heart
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7 Comments | |
| TASTING TH E PAIN OF BROKEN |
Jun 17, 2008 1:53 pm
986 Views | I've been restless all night. My body hurts, I feel so unwell. My spirit is desolate and I'm battling to keep my head above water.
I have cried for three months. I have known pain like I've never known before. It's never ending. I know there is a purpose in all this but nothing makes sense. I feel like a little piece of me is missing, in a strange limbo that I don't understand.
I've been faithful to my Lord, I've handed my life to Him for His purpose, and for His glory. If I must feel this pain, then I must feel this pain, but I am so tired.
I've tried to seek joy in my circumstances. I have brief respites but for some reason, I keep coming back to the same place. It's a vortex.
I keep asking Him....do with me as You will. My life is in Your hands.....whatever You want Lord, I will do it. But please take the pain away, give me peace in my heart. I want so much to be all He wants me to be. I love HIm so much.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I just want to go home. I just want to be with Him. I'm a strong woman of faith, then why am I so broken right now? Why am I not consistent with my joy? Why do I not have peace? Please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I want to know so I can be where I'm supposed to be in Him. | |
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23 Comments | |
| GOTTA TOUGH IT OUT, BABY |
Jun 17, 2008 12:42 am
913 Views |  | I was having a chat with God today, and I asked Him
"Lord, I don't go out looking for trouble, so why is it that trouble finds me???"
He showed me that unresolved issues will always come back to haunt me...until I learn to deal with them.
He also showed me that I can't be an effective vessel in ministry to Him until these things get worked out in me.
It isn't that trouble wont find me, but that I will find it to be not quite that troublesome to deal with anymore.
I guess you can probably identify with me when I say, some days I am filled with His presence, and so inspired, I can face anything.....and then there are days when the weight of the burden rests so heavy on my shoulders...I find it hard to put one foot in front of the other.
Today is a bad day. The pain is excruciating and I am really struggling. It's like everything just comes crashing down on you and you feel as if you are starting from scratch again.
Today I just want to give up. Just want to throw in the towel....just want to go home. But I know I just have to tough it out coz there is always a tomorrow....and it just might be the best. |
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| THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A GOD REASON.... |
Jun 16, 2008 9:30 pm
793 Views | Sometimes the day you think you're going to have doesn't turn out to be the day you think you're going to have....
I'm on vacation right now, but I had to go into the clinic today for a security check. Our government has made a law, where anyone who works with children has to have a police check. We run a paediatric clinic so I had no choice but to go in today. I was not in the least bit impressed, but as it turns out, God made use of this day.
While I was chatting with my friend Robin in the clinic, she told me that one of my favourite oncology patients, Sharon, was admitted for Palliative Care...which means her time on this earth is nearing an end.
I was pretty devastated. I hate it when we lose a patient, especially one so young...she's in her late 30s. I felt compelled for some reason to drive over to the hospital she was in, to visit her.
It was such a sad sight. Her body was skeletal, and her skin kind of grey, a sure sign that she doesn't have long to go. I wanted so much to talk to her about God, but she had visitors, her brother had flown in from England.
As I was driving home, I found myself wailing...literally! I don't know if she is saved...in fact going by the slight conversation we had, I don't believe she is.
My heart is torn....I can't stand the thought that this beautifu young woman may not be spending her eternity with God. It's affected me deeply and I am asking if you would please join me in prayer for her...that God will send someone to talk with her, so she can be saved.
She has two young children. This woman's ex-husband is so cruel that he told her he can't wait for her to die. He refuses to discuss the future of their children, and he has not spent any time with them in the last two years. She had just begun a relationship, when she was diagnosed with cancer. I remember her telling me how much in love she was. But he walked away from her coz he couldn't cope with the fact that she would die soon.
Sharon is a lovely, brave, very precious woman...I thank God that He led me to visit with her today. At least I can pray for her. | |
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11 Comments | |
| THE ENEMY PUT A FOOT IN MY CAMP and then left his boot behind |
Jun 16, 2008 3:04 pm
835 Views | It's funny how the tone of your day can change....the enemy does that. He subtly sneaks in and then causes strife and dissension, and robs us of our peace.
When I wrote my post yesterday, I had an angry spirit. Perhaps I made a wrong judgement call, wording the beginning of that post.
I can tell you truthfully....it was anger at the content rather than the writer. I know the writer cares about me....but the content raised up an issue that has plagued me for a very long time. I didn't name the writer, and I pray I didn't give clues as to who the writer was when I did my post. I have reread the words I used and I don't believe I gave clues as to who the finger was pointed at.
Ok so here is the issue....throughout my life, I have had assumptions made about me, and mostly it has been within my family. Rather than ask me how I feel about something....I am told how I feel. The seed is planted and the control taken away from me. This little seed caused incredible destruction. I know a lot of you can relate here....you finally start to believe the lie, believe that the assumptions made about you are the truth, and what you think in your heart is actually the lie. This is how satan destroys....he takes away your confidence, your belief in who you are, the "you" that God created you to be.
I pray that I have learned something vitally important from the events of yesterday. When I woke up yesterday, the first thing I read was that email. What I should have done then was to pray about it and ask God to show me how to deal with it. That isn't what I did.....instead I felt those old angry feelings resurfacing and I made my statement in my blog.
My anger itself was justifiable....but the sin came in how I dealt with the anger..that is the key here.
I don't want to go into the follow-up of this...those of you "in the know" are very much aware of it. The end result has caused strife and division. Loyalties have been divided and the die has been cast...satan won a round.
Beth often talks about "little Beth"..the little girl within her who cries out when an injustice is done..."it's not fair". Beth if you are reading this, then you will know what is happening in my heart right now.
I came to my blog this morning and noticed....silence. People are keeping away...and who can blame you??? I don't feel like being here either! This wasn't the outcome I anticipated, yet I stand by everything I said in that post because it was the truth. NOBODY should have to be the victim of assumption and speculation...whether they have an issue with it or not.
I went to bed last night and I was feeling a little lacerated. I had allowed the enemy to steal the healing that had begun in me. These last few days have been awesome, fooling around with Jeff, getting into the TAWANDA spirit with Paula...it was so nice to laugh and be happy. I have to be honest and say I don't feel all that strong or happy today. The angry spirit is still within me and it's causing me pain.
Right now the little girl in me is sitting at this keyboard, crying "don't want the struggle, don't want to be hurt, don't want any more pain...Daddy take it away"
Think I'll go away for a little bit and spend time with God, work on the things that need working on, get my strength back, get my TAWANDA spirit happening again...
Sorry to bring bad feelings into my blog...please forgive me
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7 Comments | |
| NOTHING IS HIDDEN FROM HIM WHO WE HAVE TO GIVE AN ACCOUNT |
Jun 16, 2008 2:25 am
638 Views | Heb 4:13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.
I am so grateful that at the end of the day, the judgements and condemnation of man amount to nothing...whereas standing before the God of creation, to whom we must give final account does matter.
ALL THINGS ARE NAKED AND OPENED UNTO THE EYES OF HIM WITH WHOM WE HAVE TO DO.
Insinuations, subtle innuendos, things that are meant to hurt can have devastating effects if we allow the god of this world to take control of our thoughts.
So fix your eyes on Him......who sees and knows all, even the deepest things of the heart. | |
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5 Comments | |
| Talk about Murphy's Law!!!! |
Jun 15, 2008 9:09 pm
693 Views | I tell you....
I do these two posts, trying to lure men to my blog, using my girlish charms........
and all I get is a bunch of women checking me out....
So then I do a post stating emphatically that I do not want a man in my life.....and what happens????
I get some guy called Dave wanting me to submit to him..says he will protect me and teach me 
I get Yendor, flirting SHAMELESSLY!!
And Gary (1 rib short) threatening to cut my car in half if I don't give in to his....um...charms!!
GO FIGURE!!!!
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| SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME - PLEASE READ THIS & I AM BEING SERIOUS |
Jun 15, 2008 1:44 pm
1171 Views | I just got a long winded email from someone telling me to guard my heart, and to not reach out because I feel abandoned or lonely. Apparently I am in great danger of falling in love on the rebound..
Apparently I am giving the impression of being this poor heartsick woman who is so desperately lonely and rejected that she is going to run into the arms of the first man that pays her attention.
WHAAAAAAAAT??????????
Well I was kind of wondering, if one person has these fears, maybe a few do...so I want to make something publicly known, to avoid any speculation whatsoever as to who I am, how I feel, and what my plans for love are......
Yes, I am very much heartsick..simply coz I am trying very hard to heal from a broken relationship. My heart is in a million pieces and I am trying very hard to "keep it together".
Looking for a new love to replace the old one??? NO!!!!
Lonely???? NO!!
Rejected??? YES!!
Abandoned??? NO!!!
I am in a place right now.....let's call it suspended animation.....waiting for God to lead me where HE wants me to go. God has a plan and a purpose for my life and I have been a little impatient perhaps, to discover what this is plan is......
But I am not seeking the answers in another man, or in another relationship. Believe me, that is the last thing I want right now!
All I want is to be in the centre of God's will. That is my safe place....my cleft in the rock.
Perhaps people are assuming that because I fool around with Jeff.....that maybe he and I have got something going....well guess what? we don't! Jeff is an awesome man, a good friend, and he knows exactly where I am at...we have talked at length. I would NEVER lead a man on to think that he was going to have a place in my heart, and I would never want to hurt someone as precious as Jeff by doing that to him.
I fool around a lot on the blogs.....coz laughter is what keeps me from going down the S bend. Laughter is good therapy, and I can assure you, it isn't forced...laughter comes naturally to me, I love to laugh! I love to have fun. There are days when I am very serious, kind of melancholy, and then there are days when I just enjoy having fun and being silly. This is who I am....I am a broad spectrum!!!
The bottom line? I am in a lot of pain right now. You know it, I know it, God knows it. But I have not given up....I am not miserable 24/7. I am a woman who knows pain, as most of you also do. I am also a woman of strength and I get my strength from God. I'm not lonely coz I have Jesus, and believe me, He holds me like no one else can. The whole world could reject me....but He never will.....and I am finally at a point where I know I need nothing or no one else.
I am also incredibly blessed with amazing friends who have held me up, encouraged me, prayed for me, hoped for me, cried with me, laughed with me.....you don't get more blessed than that!!
The only One who knows exactly where I should be at right now, is the Father....and I can assure you, I am currently sitting on Daddy's knee, occasionally tugging at His cloak to take me places..but begging Him to "Daddy don't let go of me"!
Crikey I just had a thought.....I fool around with Corrie a lot on the blogs...what if people think?????? Ok here's the deal...I am not falling for Corrie...I have made myself comfortable in her home, drunk her mocha, worn Juan's fluffy slippers, put lipstick marks on her ceiling (I'm very creative!) but I am not wanting anything more from Corrie than her friendship I am however wild about Juan's donkey...and if that donkey wants an Aussie chick to date.....I'm going for that donkey!!!
Another candid post from TAWANDA! | |
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