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A Follower of Christ
  
Nobody worries about Christ as long as he can be kept shut up in
churches. He is quite safe inside. But there is always trouble
if you try and let him out.

-- G. A. Studdert Kennedy


A Christian……..a follower of Christ……how do you follow Christ? How do you love Christ? Whose will………His will? How do you hear Him when He speaks? Do you hear Him? Do you listen?

Which are you…….one like the woman caught in adultery……..or the prideful scorner hurling stones?

Are you like the humble tax collector who comes before God admitting your brokenness……….or are you like the Pharisee…..better than the broken one?

Are you saved? You know the beginning…….you know the ending…….but what comes between?

What does this mean?
Luk 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

What does it mean to you?

I have to admit, there is nothing easy in being a follower of Christ. It’s easy being saved, easy reading the Bible, going to church, praying but when it comes to actually living our belief and faith……we fail miserably.

Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I have taken these two verses to heart in a big way. Because being a follower of Christ is sometimes burdensome. Giving up your desires for His desires, asking for His will in your life as opposed to your own….this is not an easy thing. But He equips us, and gives us the strength we need to walk the walk with Him.

Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

When you ask God to create in you a clean heart…….it means sometimes He has to break you down, bring you to your knees……..and it hurts! Coming face to face with God with all your brokenness has got to be one of the most painful things you will ever do….but I can tell you from the depth of my heart that it is the most spirit refreshing thing you will ever do!

The closer you draw to God, the lonlier you feel as a Christian. There is nothing sadder than talking with a fellow believer about the wonders of the Holy Spirit, the amazing grace of God, and they look at you with glazed eyes. I know this because I too once stood with glazed eyes, just “not getting it”. When I talk about listening to His Word while I sleep, or listening to His Word on my IPOD as I walk, other Christians look at me as though I am whacko!

Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

What does that verse mean to you? It means exactly what it says to me.

And if we are mocked for loving God this way……….who is being mocked……is it me………is it God’s work in me……..is it God Himself?

Mt. 11:15
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LOST IN HIM Oct 9, 2008 1:34 am
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This is one of my posts from the littlething days. I was just reading bits of Ps 119.....and my heart just filled with love for Him, my Saviour, my Protector.....I want to breathe Him in tonight, I want to quite literally be lost in Him! I love Him so!

I have not come to ask you for anything

Except for the privilege to glorify your name

Let my singing and my prayers to you, fill you up

Oh God, that you might be satisfied

I long to worship you, I long to worship you

To stand in your courts and tell how marvellous you are

To you I raise my hands, I want to lift you up

This is a song by Parachute Band. Isn't it wonderful to just stand in His Presence and breathe Him in!
To desire Him more than anything. Everything else takes second place. There is NOTHING that can take the place of HIM.......not your dream car....not your most sought after vacation spot...not your career aspirations......not your longing for the man/woman of your dreams......not your financial status.....not your anything! Just you and Him....what an amazing revelation, to discover you are loved by the Lord of the universe! What a priviledge! Praise Him shamelessly, worship Him endlessly not for any reason other than that you love Him. Not what you can get from Him, but what He can get from you.
Lotsa love from me to you....
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It's not fair!! It's not fair!! (throwing a tanty here) Oct 8, 2008 1:19 pm
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I have to go to work......but I don't want to!! I want to stay home and look at blogs! It's hard when I work, and at night I don't have a lot of time......it really sucks!

We have a grand total of 90 something patients expected in clinic this morning......

Well......at least I know....this one thing I do know....I don't have any doubts about this at all....the weekend is almost here and I have four days off!!!

So I'm going to go to work now....all you blinkin Americans can blog to your hearts content.....while I am working my butt off....feeling guilty yet?????

Have a great evening...love you guys!
14 Comments
he loves me, he loves me not....... Oct 7, 2008 4:05 am
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I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately......and I wonder why some of us women choose to keep loving a man who clearly does not reciprocate that love. I've been doing a lot of questioning. Is it that we feel unworthy to be loved better? Is it our self-esteem, to accept any kind of love than no love at all? Are we so needy that we will put up with anything, just to get a little bit of validation from this man we love? Is it hope that maybe tomorrow he will love us?

I guess it could be any or all of those reasons. And then again....it could just be that we LOVE him, for no other reason than that.....we love him.

I love my son, I love my friends, I love my family, I love God. I don't question my love for them, so why the need to question my love for a man, regardless of how he reciprocates that love? I don't have a perfect relationship with my sisters but somehow I can't stop loving them. Sometimes my son does things that displease me, but it doesn't stop me loving him. Sometimes I have disagreements with my friends, but it doesn't stop me loving them. Sometimes I don't understand God, but it doesn't stop me loving Him.

So in my own situation, why did I keep loving a man who didn't think I was worth the risk of loving?

Quite simply......I loved him.

I don't want to have a bitter heart, I don't want to become cynical and suspicious of every man who enters my life, and as Deena mentions in her post, I don't want to build walls where love can't enter.

I think the best way to turn the tables on the negatives, is to focus on the positives.

So I want to thank God for the relationship itself, and what I learned through it. I want to thank God that He gave me the capacity to love this man, the grace to see beyond his flaws and weaknesses, the ability to focus on his strengths, the humility to forgive, and the courage to walk away because I deserve to be loved totally and not just partly.

I wrote this post last night, and I was about to delete it...but I think I have to post it. Sometimes the only way to break through the pain is to face it head on. Accept that this is something that is hurting me and that by confronting every facet of this pain....healing will come.

By doing this, I have come crashing down....reality has hit hard. But it had to happen sooner or later, and I can't move forward unless I deal with it now. It hurts.

There's more to write on this subject.......but not right now
5 Comments
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME......squeak??? Oct 7, 2008 12:39 am
331 Views
I'm a slow learner when it comes to the fact that you just can't second guess God!

Several years ago, when God invited me through a "new door", I was convinced it was to do with my music ministry. Little did I know that I was entering the total "make-over factory"!!

In the last few years God has been teaching me my worth as a person, as a child of God. I have been on the wheel, in the fire, on the anvil...yup I've come a looooong way from the person I was!

You'll remember a few weeks ago, I took flight from the safety of my buoy...convinced there was ministry ahead. Wrong again!! Granted, there is the possibility that God is priming me for ministry, but before that....it's back to the make-over factory!

So what is God showing me lately? He wants me to recognize my worth as a woman! And here was I thinking I was woman enough!! Guess not!!

It's not about learning femininity....but rather the character of a woman...His woman!

One of the things God is revealing to me....don't settle for the half measure. He is showing me, that if I want to settle for the half measure...that's all I will get. He wants me to realise my worth as a woman. I've been content with the scraps thrown at me for too long........this isn't God's desire for me. He wants me at the banquet table. He wants me to taste the best He has prepared for me.

Letting go of the familiar is hard. Letting go of the thinking I'm used to...changing my mindset is hard. I have to start believing in my worth as a woman...that's hard!

But I will do it. I have been on the most wonderful adventure of my life and there is so much more ahead of me.

No matter how much I am hurting right now, I thank Him for it. Every teardrop that falls from my eyes becomes a diamond that He holds in His hand.

I pray for every woman that reads this post......this isn't just about me, but for you too. If God wants me to realise my worth as a woman....then I know without a doubt that He is wanting the same for you. I invite you to journey with me...we can share our tears and our joys along the way.....I guess it's time to celebrate being a woman!

ps I think I'm going to be writing some posts about us women...our struggles, our fears, our triumphs...I think I am...LOL!
18 Comments
HE WILL DRY EVERY TEAR Oct 6, 2008 1:38 am
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One day we will meet beside the river and our Lord will dry every tear. For now, we must live in the joy of that promise and recall that for every generation life is hard, but God is faithful. -- Bodie Thoene

My friend, Joan goes through life like a robot, grieving her husband who passed away earlier this year. As someone put it, she's on a treadmill that she has to keep walking.

I have friends who I love dearly, going through their own grief of broken relationships. Friends who are so lonely and hurt, friends who have been given a rough deal by the ones they loved.

And yes, I am grieving too. Sometimes the hurt is so bad, I get physically sick.

I don't have the answers. Today as I was driving home from work, I realised that I just have to live with it...and one day the pain will go away. We just have to take one day at a time, some days are diamonds.....some days are just plain old pig swill.

I guess those of us who are Christians, have a hope, a promise of a better tomorrow. We look at the horizon and we can almost see our promised land. We just have to keep having that hope...even on the pig swill days! I'm just not giving up....I am striving for it coz I want to laugh again.....be the me I am supposed to be. I know my friends who are in pain feel the same way. It's a determination to overcome....and we have His strength when we have none.

On the pig swill days...um...like today....I yearn for that moment when I get into bed and the floodgates open......He hears every cry, gently wipes away every teardrop.

And some day, yes we will stand by that river of life......and there will be no more tears, no more broken hearts, no more being treated badly. Just laughter and joy, like it was meant to be.


Lord, I lift every broken heart up to You....comfort the hurting, strengthen the weary. Wrap a blanket of pure Jesus love around each one. I pray for a better tomorrow. Amen
13 Comments
WHO AM I Oct 5, 2008 1:34 am
380 Views
This is a re-post of when I was the other thingy. I thought it was really appropriate for now.

I am earth. You take a rib, then You form me out of the dust. I am clay. You mould me, You shape me into the form You desire me to be. I am unrefined gold. You heat me, You temper me, until I resemble a near perfect work of art.

I am woman. I am Your bride. I am Your queen. I am Your friend. I am Your personal witness. I am Your servant. I am Your sister. I am Your temple. I am Your living stone. I am Your chosen. I am Your desire. I am Your lover. I am Your daughter. I am Your child.

There is nowhere I can run from You. You see me everywhere. You find me in the darkness and You shine Your light on me. No matter how much I run from You, turn from You, You pursue me. You are relentless.

You strip me bare of my pride. You expose the ugliness in me. You see me for what I am, then You make me see what I am, then You show me what I am to You.

You love me. You comfort me. You tenderly hold me. You hide me under the cover of Your wing. You whisper words of love to me. You caress my very soul.

I ask You....why? why me? Sometimes I get so angry coz this road to You is so painful and long. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why do You pick on me so! Why do You lead me to this place? Why do You lead me to that place? What is Your purpose? What is Your plan? Just once, can't I have an easy path? just once? Why do You tell me to turn the other cheek? It hurts to turn the other cheek. Why do You tell me to love those who do me wrong? Why do You allow people to hurt Your child? Why do You give me riches and then take them away? Why do You bless me and then curse me? Why do You abandon me when I need You most? Why do You take me into the desert? Why do You lead me through the valley of the shadow? Why do You beat me? Why do You put me in the furnace?

And God says.......BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. BECAUSE I CHOSE YOU. BECAUSE I BOUGHT YOU AT A PRICE. THE PRICE WAS MY BODY, MY BLOOD. I OWN YOU. YOU ARE MINE.

And so I follow You. Because I know there is no other way for me. Because even when life is at its worst, You are there, holding me, comforting me. Because I am weak. I can't walk this life without You. I would be hopelessly lost. Because I don't trust myself....but I trust You. Because I have nothing else to put my hope in. You are my hope. Without You I have no joy. Without You I have no purpose. Because You are my King, my Lord, my Saviour, my God, my Redeemer, my Lord, my Everything, my All. Because You are my Beautiful Jesus.

I will worship You. I will praise You. I will exalt Your name where ever I go. I will bow down before You. I will lay my life down for You. I will sacrifice everything...my hopes, my dreams, my ambtions. Take my selfishness, take my pride, take my ugliness...Your will Lord, not mine. This life is not my own....it belongs to You.

I AM YOURS
11 Comments
Check this out......... Oct 4, 2008 5:37 pm
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Fieldlillies has got a great thing happening in her blog...check it out!

[post 136529]
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I WOBBLE THE WALK! Oct 4, 2008 3:42 pm
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I'm not sure if people just hide it real well, but I see a lot of Christians around me kind of walking the walk in a straight line...growing and strengthening with dignity!

Not me!

My walk is kind of like that kid's rhyme...."jelly on a plate, wibble wobble wibble wobble, jelly on a plate"! I wobble all over the place....I fall....I get up....I fall...I get up. I have so many bruises on my spiritual body, and I often wonder what sort of example I set for non believers. It worries me sometimes. It's not that I turn away from God...it's just that I am one of those people who always seem to learn the hard and painful way!

But today God reminded me of a dream I had a while back....

I saw a wide driveway that arched outwards. It was a light yellow brick. It was pristine, not a mark on it and it looked kind of appealing.

Then I saw a narrow path, kind of like a sidewalk. It had scratches and gouges, handprints, smudges...it was kind of dirty and yucky. But my Bible (my Rainbow Bible!) sat on this path.

God showed me through this dream that even though I walked a tough little road, lots of mistakes, lots of falling over....He walked this road with me. He wasn't on that wide arching driveway...He was here with me on my yucky little smudgy sidewalk.

I used to hate being me, coz I didn't think I was worth all that much. I really like being me these days, even though sometimes I still don't think I'm worth all that much. I like being me coz I'm pliable to Him. As much as I fall and bruise myself, as much as I take the long way around, He knows the desire of my heart, He knows I want to be exactly whom He wants me to be. So on these days when I get real mad at myself for my doubts and fears.....I am so glad He reminds me of the bottom line! I love my Jesus!

I am weak, but Thou art strong;
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I'll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Precious Jesus, hear my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

Through this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Precious Jesus, hear my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

When my feeble life is o'er,
Time for me will be no more;
Guide me gently, safely o'er
To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.

Just a closer walk with Thee,
Precious Jesus, hear my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
14 Comments
Will Graham came to my church...... Oct 4, 2008 4:36 am
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Just in case you don't know who Will Graham is, he is Billy Graham's grandson.....and he preached at my church tonight.

I liked his style....simple and to the point. When he did the altar call, he emphasized the point of relationship with Jesus.....not just being saved but having a relationship. There was no big hoopla as some evangelists do....just a straightforward message with that very important truth. Coz let's face it....relationship with God is the foundation from which all else flows!

The most exciting moment for me was when he did the altar call. At first no one came forward. I started praying in the spirit, pleading with God to save His people......as I'm sure many were doing....and when I opened my eyes, there was a long line of people who went forward......including my mum!!! My mum is saved but her relationship with God has been flagging some. She told me later, that it was like God carried her forward.....PRAISE GOD!!!

You know what else? It was sooooooo cool hearing that Southern twang again! It made me very nostalgic for North Carolina...makes me want to go back!! I wanted to yell out to Will that...."hey I drove on Billy Graham Boulevard"!!!!

And had I known he was coming......I would have emailed and asked him to bring me some biscuits...done the Southern way! Lots of gravy....no grits please!!!!

Oh and you know what he told us....Billy Graham turns 90 next month and so we should go to his website and email a birthday greeting....and for the very first time in his life....and also the very last.....he is going to send an email...thanking people for their wishes! That was kind of cute!!

It was pretty cool catching up with a lot of old friends at church...I'm sure they think I've backslidden coz I haven't been for so long!! And I now go to a different service so tonight I got to see all the old gang!! But they reckon I haven't changed....still a nut....crikey!!! Go figure!!!
10 Comments
WHAT'S YOUR WORTH? Oct 3, 2008 2:48 pm
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Last night I went out for a little while with the girls. I found myself ministering, along with Tricia to a woman who just broke up a longterm relationship with a man who professed to love her, yet would not commit to a relationship.

As I was speaking words to her about her worth as a woman, the Holy Spirit kept nudging me...just gentle proddings...what's your worth, Penelope? I kept ignoring the still small voice...and continued ministering to this woman. However, He just would not quit and I found myself getting kind of rattled!

When I got home, He just would not let me be. Louder and louder I kept hearing.....what's YOUR worth, Penelope?

This is my creator, He KNOWS what I'm worth, so why is He asking me? Ok I get it.......He wants to know what I think my worth is.

Why does this question bother me so? Seriously, it has me fidgeting and feeling very uncomfortable. I don't know that I'm ready to confront this.

This morning it just hasn't gone away...

What is your worth, Penelope? What is your worth as a woman?

Then He asks me....

Are you only worth a half measure? Do you think this is all you can expect? What is your worth, Penelope?

I guess, if I'm honest with myself, this is all I think I have been worth. I have settled for the half measure. Not quite what God thinks I am worth, but obviously all I think I am worth.

I'm struggling this morning....I have to look in my mirror. No, not the one in the wall...the other mirror...the one where I see deep down inside...the place God looks at constantly...I pray I'm ready for this...I'm kind of scared.

The writing is on the wall.....what is your worth, Penelope?

Crikey
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THE HEART OF A WOMANms_warriorthingyOct 12 11:48 am
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