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Finally Getting Somewhere...
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Oct 23, 2006 8:40 pm
Mood: thoughtful,
221 Views
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Doesn't it seems that things take way too long, sometimes? I mean, like when you're starting a business, or waiting for the right man or woman to come along to sweep you off your feet? Or when you're trying to save enough to get that new car or house, or go to college...I mean, some things just seem to take way too long...
at least for me. I don't think I'm alone on this.
I think, sometimes, that the reason things take so long is because life is sort of like a road trip. I haven't been on too many of those, but even going on a few qualifies me to make the comparison.
The way I see it, you go on road trips with a destination in mind. People don't usually just start out on one having no idea where they'll end up. They might not end up where they planned on being, but at least they have some kind of idea on where they want to go.
The thing is, though, when you're on the road, you see things on the way. You have to stop for gas. You have to go to the bathroom. You have to get food. You may even see the world's largest ball of twine! Stuff happens. Just like in life.
And when stuff is happening to you, stuff is also happening to other people all around you. Kids are growing. Babies are being born. People are getting married, divorced, dying, etcetra.
Something is always happening somewhere.
And even when we aren't realizing it, miracles are happening...every single day! People are being saved! Dead are being revived! Changes are happening every single day! And guess Who's in control of all these changes! God is!
I was going to blog tonight about spending today with the happy little one-year-old boy I took care of a few weeks ago. Then, tomorrow, I start taking care of the premature infant girl. Z is actually spending twelve hours with me, tomorrow, too. Things are finally picking up...slowly.
But, it just dawned on me that things have to happen in other people's lives for them to happen in mine. We're all in this life together and God's perfect timing is what we all need to wait for.
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10
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Braindead
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Oct 22, 2006 5:54 pm
Mood: numb,
208 Views
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Do you ever get writer's block? I mean, when I first came here, I knew what I wanted to say, but now, I just feel braindead.
It must be because I used all my creative energy for that song I just posted a couple of hours ago. So, why write about it? Good question!
And I know I would have had a lot more to say if I'd gone to church today. It sort of feels like I cheated myself for not having that jumpstart on the week since I went to Manhattan to see my daughter instead.
We were able to enjoy being together with all three kids together, but I just wish tomorrow was Sunday.
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3
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Loving You
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Oct 22, 2006 3:38 pm
Mood: loved,
207 Views
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Loving You...You have opened up my mind.
How could I have been so blind
before I realized the Way of Truth?
Loving You...from the bottom of my heart.
How I long to share this part
of me I've found since I found You...
Now I'm waiting for that chance
to be all I can for You
and I know that if I stay
then I'll know just what to do...
Loving You...with the strength You've given me
hoping all the world will see
this love I've found that comes from You...
Loving You...for You'll never let me go
and I want the world to know
You're loving me, and love them, too...
And I'm waiting for the day
when I'll see You face to face
and I'll go to be with You,
for You've given me Your grace!
I'm loving You!
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8
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Why Am I Sitting Here Blogging?
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Oct 21, 2006 4:05 pm
Mood: happy,
208 Views
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I'm not supposed to be here at all right now. We were supposed to go to a Bible quizzing competition in Missouri. If we didn't do that, we were supposed to go to Scrooge play practice this morning. After that, we were supposed to go on a cubscout campout at the lake...yes, there are lakes in Kansas. And if we didn't do those things, we were at least supposed to go to the K-State game to see my daughter's band play.(I'm not a football fan, sorry, dudes.)
So, why am I sitting here blogging? For one, the rain cancelled out the band playing and it's just too darned cold to go camping. The Bible quizzing would have meant getting ourselves to the church at 6am and we're just not morning people here.
As for the Scrooge practice...well, let me tell you about that! I got called at 7:30 this morning and it was about the ad Sharon put in the paper for me so I could get clients for my daycare. So, the guy wants to come over right then, but I told him to at least give me an hour. He did. AND he has a 4 month old baby daughter! And when he called my references...he said I'm the one! Yes! Thank you, Lord!
So, that's why I didn't go to play practice. I could have gone late, but started having some very bad time with my waffle iron. They kept sticking!
I'm getting ready to go see my daughter, though. I really started missing her after typing that little piece on her as a baby. I guess she'll always be my baby...in a way.
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My Headache
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Oct 20, 2006 9:18 pm
Mood: overpowered,
214 Views
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The pressure makes it throb with pain
and leaves me so irrate.
I wish there was a remedy
for this frustrating state.
It spins behind these eyes of mine...
At times I want to scream!
At other times its hard to know
just how to burn off steam.
So I just sit and write about
this pain inside my head
until I choose to close this down
and put myself to bed.
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1
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I Know It's Happening Again
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Oct 20, 2006 8:49 pm
Mood: irritated,
200 Views
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Sometimes, I wish I could just afford to be like I am...but I can't. It's hard for me to be a hard-nosed, no-nonsense, stick-to-the-plan sort of person. I don't think it's impossible for all of God's children to be able to take care of their families when only one parent is around, but I wonder if it will ever happen to me. It's not that I doubt God. He always takes care of us...through my parents, through the State, through other Christians, even through guilting my ex into sending us money...but I'm wondering what I should do about this problem I run into every time I do daycare.
See, I only have three very part-time clients right now and it's hard for me to consider them that because Z hardly ever comes and the girls are only here three hours a week. The problem is that Z's mom agreed to pay a certain amount each week, and he's told her he really likes it here so she doesn't want to take him anywhere else...but since she's only been bringing him one day a week when she originally told me he would be here for three, she wants to only pay for one.
Z isn't much trouble, but I really need the money..even if it isn't much. Yet, I feel guilty because she doesn't bring him.
And the other two girls...I've known for years...but if other school-aged kids come, I'll have to let them go because they're so part-time. I hate to do that, because I've loved them for a long time, but the state only allows a certain number of kids.
My ad will be in the paper tomorrow. I hope it does more for me than last time. I put a flyer at the battered women's task force today. I think I may go to Birthright, too.
Another problem I've run into is that it already looks like a daycare here with all of the boys coming over here from around the neighborhood to duel...except that I'm not making any money when they're here.
Lord, help me to know where to draw the line!
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3
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Beautiful
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Oct 19, 2006 9:00 pm
Mood: beautiful,
215 Views
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With a touch of angel's wings,
she breathes deeply as she dreams.
Her tiny thumb she pushes between two tiny lips
then sucks sweetly comforted...as she lay snugly in my arms...
So beautiful, I kiss her soft head and stare at her...amazed that God would give me such a gift.
I wonder, as I look at her, what she will be as the years change her...if she will be secure with who she is...if she will find true love...or if she will make the mistakes I've made...
I remember having those thoughts nineteen years ago. And now, my little gift is engaged to be married.
This picture is of her watching me look at her last high school yearbook.
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4
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Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me...
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Oct 18, 2006 1:56 pm
Mood: good,
280 Views
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At least I'm not lonely...boys and light sabers surrounding me...
I don't know what it is about my boys and their light sabers. Now they have nine of them and it seems like the more they get, the more boys come over to duel with them.. So, I guess it's a popularity thing with them. At least it gets them outside. I think there's seven boys out there now. It's nice to have the computer by the window so I can see everything that happens.
I just hope I can fit everyone that's going to Bible school with us tonight in the van. I'm taking them to the library first.
During Bible school, our choir is practicing for the Scrooge play. I'm just doing a singing part with the choir, but my son,Christopher, has a speaking part. I just don't know how he's going to be in his school play and the play at church when they're on the same night.
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22
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This Day Before I Turn 41,
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Oct 17, 2006 7:41 pm
Mood: crazy,
294 Views
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Yikes! I'm OLD! When did this happen??? Where did those forty-one years go? Where did all those plans for me to be a successful writer, happily married with three perfect kids and a couple of dogs go? What happened to that perfect man I was supposed to meet so we could be in love for the rest of our lives? And what are all those lines on my face that I never saw before? Are they getting bigger????
Hey, at least I have the three gifted kids...
Funny, I think I spent most of my fortieth year blogging and dancing with dumbells...not people...real weights. Just wanted to clarify that.
Mom took me out for lunch for my birthday a day early since the boys don't have school tomorrow. Lucky me...my birthday is so important they cancelled school...LOL! She gave me a huge bag of Mary Kay stuff, too! (that's when I first found that I had more wrinkles than I thought in that magnified compact mirror.)
My permanent license is now at the referral service so business should be picking up soon.
And my friend who made a pass at me apologized and brought me over a hot pink hoodie for my birthday. And he said he didn't know hot pink was my favorite color!
I guess it won't be so bad being forty-one.
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16
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My Passion
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Oct 17, 2006 1:53 pm
Mood: drained,
241 Views
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Deep, so deep, it draws me down
to pull up thoughts I can't express,
unless, at first, my fingers choose
to type the words so gracefully...
Each song, each line, each rhyming word
are gifts that God is giving me
and that means I should take some time,
so I won't choose distastefully...
My passion for the written word
as it pulls with a force so strong
to lull me into this deep trance,
can keep me from what I should do--
yet magnetized, I sit and write
as though I'm held against my will,
ignoring tasks that should be done.
I'd rather write the whole day through.
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3
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