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Flu All Around
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Oct 22, 2009 7:06 pm
271 Views
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I haven't felt very good all week. I didn't go anywhere but the store to get supplies. I haven't even written much because not a whole lot happened. This week is almost over, too.
My sons haven't been to school much at all. They keep getting sick, too. One will be sick, the other will be home...the next day the other will be sick and the first will go to school. Even my daughter told me someone in one of her classes today at the university left with swine flu. She said he was on the other side of the room so she doesn't think she was exposed.
One good thing, though, is that since I've been sick, I started reading, "The Shack." It's really good. It's about a man who suffers terrible tragedies in his life, but God reveals Himself to him in very unexpected ways. I'm half-way through it and can't wait to find out what happens next.
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No Fun
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Oct 19, 2009 11:33 am
Mood: sick,
342 Views
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It turned out that after I struggled bigtime to get Christopher out of bed to go to church with us....Do you know how hard it is to drag a 222lb boy out of bed when you only weigh half that?....that we were really late. That's usually the case. But after we had even more fun...NOT...when they wouldn't decide who got to sit in the front seat....we met my parents for lunch at Arby's.
My head ache came back. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do, but I really did want to go roller skating, so I got the kids over there, called my daughter to meet us there, then got so sick I know you don't want me to talk about it.
I started getting dizzy and told Chris to take his skates off because we couldn't stay.
I'm very grateful to my daughter, though, because she took the boys to Chuck E. Cheese's and let me go home to sleep. Funny, when I woke up, I didn't even remember what day it was. I thought I forgot to take the boys to school.
When they got home, and I still think it's funny....Zach puts this huge rubber cockroach in my face that he won at Chuck E. Cheese. You'd think he would be tired of looking at those things by now. I told him to put it on the floor and it might give the other roaches a heart attack.
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It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want to!
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Oct 18, 2009 7:53 am
487 Views
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But I don't want to cry. I just want to be fully awake and the coffee isn't working. At least, I'm not sick like I was last year. I was so sick, I just stayed home all day. That's not a real fun way to spend a birthday....but it got better because my mom and my daughter each brought me a cake. My daughter stayed and played board games with us, too. That was fun.
Today, though, I wanted to go to church, sing my heart out with a son on either side of me...then go get lunch with my parents....then go ROLLER SKATING! I love roller skating.BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO WAKE UP!
That's my fault. I know. I shouldn't have stayed up so late last night.
I took the boys to Science City because Zach wanted that the most for his birthday and I'd been telling him for months that I would. We didn't take anyone with us, though. It's a good thing, because it cost almost ten bucks a ticket, now! And that's without a show in the planetarium. It's a good thing we took our own food.
And even with Chris' great navigational skills, we still ended up getting turned around when it came time to go home. It was the road construction and some big event that attracted lots of traffic and lots of pedestrians that mixed us up. It didn't help that I stopped to get gas at a service station on the way home, then ended up going back the way I came and had to turn around in the toll booth after going five miles more.
Chris just said, frustrated..."MOM! I can't even look at book for a few seconds without you getting lost!"
At least, he was reading the Bible I brought with us!
I had made sure to pack everything we might need in an emergency...extra food, a blanket, a first aid kid, extra clothes...even though we were only going an hour away. I thought we might end up spending the night at my brothers' but we didn't end up going over there. I would have gotten more lost.
And the lady at the toll booth told me people do that all the time. That made me feel a little better. What I thought was kind of cool was that I had put a quarter in my pocket before we left home and that's just how much I had to pay when I accidently drove back to the toll booth. I didn't even know why I had stuck that quarter in my pocket.
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14
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Brains, brains, brains....
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Oct 15, 2009 11:20 pm
Mood: tired,
400 Views
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I ran so fast and so hard yesterday that it totally wore me out. I fell asleep at 8, right after I got the clothes folded, watching Iron Man. There goes my evening with Robert Downy Jr!
I don't have a clock in my room, so just woke up at midnight, thinking it had to be around four.
Funny, my brother was online, so we're just sending messages back and forth. I had to scold him for being up too late since he's always going to be my baby brother, even if he IS 36.
Zach scanned some really cool pictures of the brain with all of the areas labeled, explaining just what each part of it does. He even hung them on the wall. I'm thinking, with all this knowledge about brains, at least one of my kids will end up being a scientist or a brain surgeon. I still don't get it how anyone can really figure out what parts do what...unless they found a bunch of people with problems, then scanned their heads to see if their brains looked any different than other people's.
I wonder if they can look at someone's brain and figure out why some of them are selfish, greedy, or cruel.
While my boys were talking about the brain pictures Zach scanned, it was amazing me how smart they are. Zach found that one part of the brain, the temporal lobe, was used for intellect and emotions. That made me think...maybe since my emotions are all out of whack, and that area of my brain was damaged, and it also controls intellect...well, maybe I was really supposed to be a genius. I mean, both of my sons are...and I'm wondering if maybe they got their genes from me! My brain used to be normal, so would that be too unbelievable that if it weren't damaged, it might have been a genius brain? LOL! Nan...that would be too weird.
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Life Is So Frustrating
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Oct 15, 2009 1:33 pm
444 Views
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Yesterday I got the letter saying I didn't get disability. Today, I got the letter saying I'm not getting health coverage. They think I'm withholding information about somewhere I never worked at. I think they got me mixed up with someone else.
I wish people knew more about brain injuries and how people with them are. I mean, I'm sure we're all different, but the problems we have with impulsiveness, emotional instability, focusing problems, forgetfulness, inhibition, inability to plan or organize, lack of good judgment skills, being disoriented all the time, processing disorders, inattentiveness, inability to multitask, not knowing our limitations...almost thinking we're invincible...even thinking certain things will never happen to us, immaturity and arrested development.....wow. Looking at this list is depressing. I just didn't realize it was so long.
Yeah, dealing with all this, life is frustrating.
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Another Day in the Life
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Oct 14, 2009 8:34 pm
329 Views
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This morning, I tried to get Chris to school, but he insisted his stomach hurt again, so, after I ran at the Y and got more cereal and boric acid at the store, I took his homework to his school to drop it off for him. It's amazing that I finally found something that seems to get rid of the roaches. Most of the time, now, all I see are dead ones.
I took Zach's cupcakes and chocolate milk to his class. He's eleven, today. I didn't hang around because I was afraid to embarrass him. He told me he was glad I didn't.
We spent the evening at my parents. Mom made noodles and I took another cake. We all played Scrabble. It was fun. Dad tried to teach him to crochet, at the last minute, since he found out Zach likes making rugs. He showed him one he made when he was young.
The letter from the disability office came. I knew that lady was feeding the answers to me on purpose. She was trying to make it look like there wasn't any problem. They always do. They usually make people try several times until they just can't fight anymore and give up.
When I told the mental health clinic, they gave me a number of a lawyer and I called him right away. I hope that was the right thing to do. I really would work if I could figure out what to do where I wouldn't be messing things up....but right now, I can't think of one job that would hire someone who's so unpredictable. I just wish more people understood more about the brain and how brain damage effects every single thing in someone's life. And it only gets worse. I wish I would have understood more earlier in life.
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When We Do Good Things
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Oct 12, 2009 8:16 pm
Mood: happy,
391 Views
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No, this isn't a poem. Maybe I'll write one, tomorrow.
I'm just sitting here, smiling my goofy smile, thinking about all the good things that happened today. They just left me feeling like God was with us. And, I'm sure He was.
First, of all, I had bought this latch hook rug kit for Zach to learn to do. I bought it yesterday, thinking it would be fun to teach him how to make a rug with a pattern. It's a smiley face with a rainbow and a heart. We like it.
Anyway, I bought the kit and I bought a latch hook to go with it...then I totally forgot how to make those things. I did read the instructions, but being the great follower of directions that I am, couldn't figure them out. Luckily, Chris could. He couldn't, at first, but he did manage to do it and then he taught Zach! And once Zach learns a new thing...he's the most persevering person I know. He's been working on that rug all day! And he likes it!
We did take a few breaks. I mean, we had to go see Aunt Betty, since we didn't see her yesterday and I felt bad about that. I took both the boys this time and I'd never seen Aunt Betty laugh so hard at Christopher's jokes. I was thinking it was just so cool that through laughter, generations come together...her, at 85, and him, at 13....found something besides the blood running through our veins...that ties them together....LAUGHTER! And it was great.
I was also able to tell her about the man I saw with no arms and legs that lived with so much purpose because he knew he was a child of God. She doesn't have internet, so she hadn't heard about him. Her eyes lit up when I told her about his testimony...and I realized that we have an even better bond than being family...because we know Jesus.
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I Wish I Could Figure Myself Out.
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Oct 12, 2009 7:58 am
Mood: confused,
479 Views
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If you have anything better to do, I would go do it, because I really don't know what I'm about to say. So many things are in my head, I don't know what I want to write about, but I know I need to write. Don't expect some great poem or anything, though. I'm just not in the mood to pull one out of my brain.
Okay, since this is my blog, and I come here quite a lot to remember what mistakes I made or to find out something God told me to reflect on, like the poetry He sometimes gives me in my mind to keep me hanging on. I'd probably be better off going back to those poems I wrote a couple of years ago to remind myself to have hope than to just write about the confusion of my life right now.
But, even though, I'm exposing my stupidity, here I go.
Okay, I'm still convinced that we all need to wait for marriage, and I haven't jumped into that forbidden trap, but what happened yesterday really doesn't make sense...I mean, I did forgive the man who wrote that letter last Thursday, but I'm not going to even suggest we meet, anymore, or talk about anything that has to do with marriage or romance or anything.
The thing is, Andrew and I were still talking off and on. He's the guy I went to high school with and went out with a few months ago. We really don't have anything in common, so I don't know why I still talk to him. I didn't think we were going to get together again, either, but he asked me what I was doing yesterday, so after taking Zach to church with me and to get his hair cut, I told him we were going to go to the Y to go swimming.
I didn't think he would really go, but he did, and after working out and swimming for a couple of hours, HE mentioned to me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
I'm not sure where that came from, but I think he was either just having a good time being at the Y with us, or just saying that as a joke because of what I told him happened with that letter I got on Thursday. Maybe he said that because he thinks that if someone offers to marry me, I'll like them more.
Why do people like to confuse me? Can't they see that I'm already confused enough?
On the up-and-less-confusing side of life...I'm really proud of myself for making myself run a mile seven whole days in a row. Now, I barely break a sweat!
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8
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I Can See!
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Oct 9, 2009 4:52 pm
Mood: good,
448 Views
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I just got back from the optometrist, where I picked up the contact lens I should have gotten two weeks ago. For two weeks, I was walking around in a blur. It was horrible. I couldn't see details in faces. I couldn't read street signs. I shouldn't have been driving, but it wasn't so bad that I could tell the colors on the traffic lights or the distance between me and the car in front of me.
I'm just so glad everything looks so much better now. I can even read with my left eye! I sure couldn't do that before. I always read with my right eye and the left one would just go somewhere off to the left. This is great! I didn't even realize I could read with my left eye until now! Now, I see so good, I might not even have to use that right eye at all!
I feel great, today! Every day this week, I went to the Y and ran at least a mile. Today, I ran a mile and was going to go shower, but someone was undressed in front of my locker, so I just went back to the gym and ran another mile. It was awesome. I listened to so many great Christian songs and realized that everything's going to be okay.
I even wrote to our choir director and told him I was going to try to get involved in choir again. I know that's what God wants...my total praise. If I start with that, how can I go wrong?
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6
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After Being Told I Was a Freakshow
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Oct 9, 2009 1:46 pm
494 Views
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You know, I don't even care if people think I'm a freak, right now. Maybe, by the world's standards, I am. I just wouldn't expect this to come from someone who said he wanted to marry me.....oh, but only if we were compatible in the bedroom. I'm still kind of mad about that. Okay, I'm not mad...I'M INFURIATED!
Yes, I spelled that right.
Anyway, what I was getting at was that after he called me that and a whore, I felt compelled to read the Bible and find all the verses on purity and sexual sins and stuff like that. I've read them lots of times, but ignored them for too long. I mean, I know I'm a sinner. I know I've been very selfish and that is something I want to work on. I also know that I probably deserve a letter like I got yesterday. I mean, if you act like a whore, people are going to treat you like one. Even the appearance of evil is a sin.
I want to change, though. I want to make sure people know by the way I act that I'm not easy. People can change.
I'm tired of all the games people play. Maybe I don't want to play anymore.
II Samuel 22:27 To the pure, you show yourself pure.
Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
II Corinthians 11:2 I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.
I Timothy 5:22 Do not share in the sins of others, keep yourself pure.
Titus 1:15 To the pure, all things are pure.
Titus 2:5 Be self-controlled and pure.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.
I Corinthians 6:13 Flee from sexual immorality.
I Corinthians 6:18 The body is not meant for sexual immorality.
I Corinthians 10:8 We should not commit sexual immorality.
Ephesians 5:3 But among you, there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality.
I Thessalonians 4:3 It is God's Will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his or her own body.
Those are only a few verses I found that tell us what God expects. I guess I can thank the man who called ma a freak show for the letter because it prompted me to read these verses.
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