|
I Sit and Write
|
Dec 15, 2005 9:42 am
Mood: enthusiastic,
732 Views
|
Thank you for your prayers and for sharing your pasts with me, Anita, Dennis, and Ray. I am so grateful that God has sent you to me in this hour. I don't know what I would do without my Christian friends. You are truly a blessing.
I want to share what God gave me this morning through his servant, David Wilkerson's book, Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately? It really enlightened me to what my true problem is.
As I looked through the headings, I read God Has Not Forgotten You, in chapter 12. If you get the chance, no matter what you're going through, you should find this book. I picked it up at Dillons a year ago and loved it so much I bought one for each of our single mom's in our small group.
David pinpointed my problem. I do call on Jesus, but have doubt that He really does have things in controll. I ask for miracles, but don't believe they will happen. I write poetry about leaning on Jesus, but still seek out help from other sources and end up in bigger messes than before! Jesus said that all we need is faith as small as a mustard seed and we can move mountains! Only a little faith! And we all are still trying to find answers on our own, trying to get things done our way instead of God's way! All I need to do is believe that God will really take care of my needs, my children's needs, my parents' needs!
God will direct my path when I totally trust Him to and quit trying to seek comfort from strangers. God will meet my needs. I don't have to worry. I'm commanded not to worry.
And just like the song my son sang for our Scrooge Play last Sunday "I'm going to do it by myself from now on...I don't need anybody's help from now on..." I was believing that I could do it all myself. I'm going to change those words to "I'm going to leave it up to God, from now on
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
|
My Curious One
|
Dec 14, 2005 8:52 pm
Mood: thoughtful,
700 Views
|
Just nine years old, he knows it all,
grown up so fast, he had to.
He's the man of the house. No dad,
not often enough, anyway.
so, at age 3, he played the dad to baby brother,
the missing piece of the perfect family.
Always has to know everything--
how much money is in the bank--
how much has gas gone up?
Why are you crying, Mommy?
I want to tell him to stay a child,
but I don't think he ever was one
or wanted to be...
so I tell him, "God isn't finished with us yet.
He has a plan. He hasn't left us."
and I hope he believes me.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
My Open Journal
|
Dec 14, 2005 9:59 am
Mood: confused,
688 Views
|
Sometimes I don't think things could get any worse. I need help. I call on Jesus, but don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm being attacked from all sides. I can't find work. I borrow to survive. I hold my hands up. I think about my poor children, how they have to deal with all the uncertainty of where we will live, if we will have Christmas here surrouned by boxes full of our belongings, or somewhere else. I need to breathe. I need air. I need a chance. I'm smart. I'm beautiful. I'm sweet, giving, caring, and sensitive, but no one cares. They all have their own problems. They can't help.
But the worst part of my life is that my own daughter thinks that I haven't been taking care of her. She told me this morning. She wants to leave. She wants to be out on her own because we don't know where we're going. We have moved so many times in her life. I understand why she's frustrated. Her life hasn't all been bad, though, and much of what's happened hasn't been my fault.
So,why can't we just have stability? We are all intelligent people. We don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have mental problems. No one here has premarital sex. We love each other. We go to church. We love God. We are talented. Why does it seem like every time we start to make it, the rug is pulled out from under us? Will my boys ever have somehere they can call home? Somewhere we can stay for more than five years? Somewhere they will feel safe and loved? Am I such a bad person that I just don't deserve to be able to make it here?
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
Lord, When?
|
Dec 13, 2005 9:30 pm
Mood: curious,
720 Views
|
I know it's wrong to ask You, Lord,
because time's not the same to You
as it is to us,
but I find myself asking over and over
When, Lord? When?
I am ashamed for wanting to know--
like a child wanting to unwrap a present--
but I want to know the answer!
I want to know when!
And along with this question, comes another, how?
How am I going to make it? How is everything going to work out? How many times do I have to fail before something actually works out?
And while I'm at it, Lord, Why? Why can't I have money? Why doesn't someone want to hire me?Why doesn't everyone in the world like me?
I know You don't answer silly questions like these. I know Your word tells me a lot of what I need to know. I know praising You is the best thing we can do no matter what situation we're in, because no matter how bad things get, they can always be worse. And I also know that I don't need to know all the answers, because You have the answers. That's all I really need to know.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
|
My Youngest One
|
Dec 13, 2005 9:13 pm
Mood: beautiful,
662 Views
|
I hold you in my arms, my son,
and breathe the sweetness from your hair.
The scent of cherries fills my nose
as soft as kisses from the sun.
And I remember all the reasons
why I have to carry on--
yet still I wonder how we'll live
and what God has in store for us.
I have the future in my arms.
You are so young. just seven years
the time's gone by and changed you so
yet you are still my little one,
I want for you more from this life
than worry, pain, and constant fear.
I will be strong, for you, my son,
because you need to know God cares.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
Lord, You Make Me Happy!
|
Dec 10, 2005 1:48 pm
Mood: happy,
681 Views
|
Lord, You make me happy
and set my soul free!
You make me exactly what I need to be!
When I think I about all the times that I tried
to find life without you--
the tears that I cried-
the time that I wasted with sinful desire
when time spent with You
brings me higher and higher
than anything else this world offers to give
I know You're my Hope
and my Reason to live!
And so many hours, I've spent searching for ways
to bring me contentment, left me in a daze.
All I need, All I want, All the time,
You are here!
You make me so happy! Your Love is sincere!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Poets Are a Strange Breed
|
Dec 4, 2005 8:45 pm
Mood: thoughtful,
691 Views
|
Sitting around with their pens in their hands,
Playing with words, like a child with a toy,
pouring forth feelings no one understands,
stirring emotions like hatred and joy,
opening worlds that few people can see,
only those souls who can read what's not said.
Driven by passions for life's mystery,
Unending questions aroused in my head.
Some say expressions through words is an art.
Some say the poet is just wasting time.
I say a poem awakens the heart.
Bringing up feelings through rhythm and rhyme.
by chardshan
GBU again! Thank you for your comments on my last posts.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Rejection
|
Dec 2, 2005 8:30 pm
Mood: rejected,
763 Views
|
cutting me inside my soul-
it hurts, the pain tears me in two
because i want what i can't have
a chance to prove what i can do
the waiting rips and tears apart
the endless search for something more
than simply living day to day
rejection knocking at the door
another letter telling me
that i'm not qualified again
i know i am, but they can't see
so debt, like snow, is caving in
i will not pity in my plight
tho tempted to, there is no gain
rejection bends the road we're on
but we will make it through the rain
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Not What I Want
|
Dec 2, 2005 6:48 pm
Mood: thoughtful,
739 Views
|
This isn't what I want, my friend,
because my soul means more to me.
When doors are opened up to sin
we lead ourselves to misery.
I seek to serve the God of life,
yet forces pull and tug my soul
and drag me through the stench of sin
where Satan takes complete control.
But I can't live believing lies
I cannot let my mind corrode.
The earthly lusts destroy and kill
What God has made-- with gifts bestowed.
I cannot dwell on simple things,
the passionate, the sensual,
because I know the pain they bring.
I want a love that's really real.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
Satan, Don't Distract Me
|
Dec 1, 2005 10:13 am
Mood: mad,
778 Views
|
Satan, don't distract me!
I've a calling and a goal
And your timeconsuming urgings
make you think you're in control!
Don't tell me you have an offer
that will help in any way!
Cuz,I know that you're a liar
leading crowds to go astray!
But I know I'm not a loser
I won't listen anymore
Cuz, if life's a game you're playing,
then, you'll never beat God's score!
I'm not listening to you,Satan!
for you pray upon the weak!
I know God has got a purpose
And it's His will that I seek!
GBU all,
charla
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (chardshan) use [blog chardshan] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
|
11
|
21
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
61
|
71
|
8
|
9
|
101
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
141
|
|
151
|
161
|
171
|
18
|
191
|
20
|
211
|
22
|
23
|
241
|
251
|
261
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
