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What does the Book say?
  
My take on things with some interesting if not unusual perspectives from the Bible that are either not considered, or little known about.
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Finding a Date in Church (for the ladies) Aug 1, 2007 11:57 pm
Mood: eager, 787 Views
In church is the absolute best place to find a romantic interest, but it is also the very hardest place to get one started.
I recently wrote the following in response to another blog, and as I think about it, this is a very good subject to get out there for everyone. In this one I will handle for the women, how to get asked for a date in church. Later on will be one for the men how to make it easier for them to ask a woman in his church for a date.

Getting a date with a man in your church entails two elements.
1, Getting his attention.
2, Providing an opportunity to be asked out.

Contrary to everything everyone teaches you, physical appearance is no big deal to mature Christian men, but it can help.

For starters, (as a mature Christian myself) I am interested in a woman who is sold out to the Lord at least as much as I am, and the observant person in church can easily see who is, and who is not sold out to the Lord.
The single biggest pointer is participation, and here is what we men are watching for.

Does she stand and sing with the others? Or does she just sit there?
If she is singing, how much is she into it? Is she doing anything to show her reverence? Including, but not limited to singing out heartfeltly, raising her hands to the Lord, kneeling to pray, dancing either in place, in the aisle, or near the alter, waving flags, blowing shafers, or anything showing her spiritual joy.

Does she go up for alter calls? Does she allow herself to be prayed over? or better yet does she pray over others?
Is she involved with any activities or small groups? Especially the worship band, or choir, women's groups, prayer or prophetic groups?
Does she attend Sunday school, or take advantage of the churches training activities? Does she serve the church in any way?
Does she attend church on a regular basis? Does she place anything in the collection plate or basket?
All these things and more are things I look for.

After that is watching how she conducts herself. Does she socialize with anyone, or does she just sit alone and is the first one out the door when the minister says, "Amen?"
Do other church members know her? Is she well respected? Does she gossip? or does she avoid gossip? Does she partake in communion?
If she has children, how does she handle them? Especially when they fidget or misbehave?

It may surprise you to know you are being watched by what few available men there are a lot more then you know.
It is very well known in the Christian community, that available women outnumber available men by at least four to one, and often a lot more then that.
Adding to that, in a proper Christian environment men do all the picking, and while that may not seem fair, I didn't write the rules.
It is our market and we know it. The men who are less mature will pick the prettiest, and/or most promiscuous woman they can.
Those who are more mature (especially those from a failed relationship) will pick the most spiritual woman they can discern.

Next, and actually more important is making available opportunities to be asked out.
Much like your Jr. High School dances, hanging with girl friends most of the time will not get you asked. We men want to be discrete, and not have a bunch of people around when we ask you out.

You're not likely to be asked out during worship, unless you are hanging out in the back, or in an area where worship is not going on right then.
If you are sitting more then a couple seats away from the aisle, or if there is anyone between you and the aisle, forget being asked until you are positioned better.
Make a lot of eye contact, but don't be seductive about it.

Take breaks during worship from time to time and go outside, or where ever people may visit during service. An interested man will notice, and eventually follow you outside.
Arrive for service at least a few minutes before it begins, and linger for a while after it's over. Before or after service is the most likely time an asking will take place, and again stay near an aisle, but with an empty seat toward the aisle if at all possible.

While it is on the man to take the initiative, there is nothing disgraceful about you women making it easier for us men to do so.
Remember, we are socially challenged anyway, and pretty dumb about reading body language. If we have reason to believe you are interested, or at least looking, it makes a world of difference.

Finally there is one method that works even better then all these other tips combined.
A third party introduction. Especially if that introduction is made by a leader or at least someone respected in the church. It is proper Christian etiquette for either the man or woman to ask someone who knows both for an introduction.
If done properly and in good taste, a third party introduction almost guarantees a date, or exchange of phone numbers and/or E-mail addresses will follow.
8 Comments
MY NEW GIRLFRIEND Apr 28, 2008 10:40 pm
Mood: HAPPY BEYOND BELIEF, 1095 Views
No I'm not kidding. No catch. It's for real.

This is my girlfriend Evonne.
She has a profile here on B.C. but hasn't posted in the blogs yet. (mostly because she's been too busy being with me)
Her handle here is Nutsoooo, probably for getting involved with me.

If you've been following my blogs, then you've read about her before as a former girlfriend from long ago, and mother of my god-daughter.
This has been a long time in coming, and one more example of what can happen when we finally listen to God. However, I should have been listening better, for this could have happened long before now.

I led this woman to the Lord myself over 25 years ago, and mentored her as well. She was soooooo hungry for the Word, and then, as now, there are fewer things I enjoy more then teaching people the Word. Which made it easy to fall, deeply in love with her. We found ourselves able to comfortably talk to each other about anything, and everything, but especially the Word. There should be a pic of us in Webster's with the word "soul mates."

I was dating LTT247 at the time I encountered her last summer, at a picnic of LTT247's church of all places. Before that it had been 20 years since I last saw Evonne, which was when she conceived Kristen who is now my god-daughter, and I'll spare the details of our breakup.

At the picnic Evonne gave LTT247 a great reference for me as a relationship partner, so I had a lot of explaining to do with my date.
She strongly encouraged me to meet with Evonne on my own, if only to know who fathered her daughter.
When we did meet, she refused to discuss anything else until I taught her something from the Word.
After which she said that was the one thing about me she had missed more then anything else.
For a moment, I forgot I was dating another woman as the spirit washed over me, confirming that yes indeed it had been way too long.

A few weeks later LTR247 ended our dating, and was the first of many who told me I needed to be back with Evonne. A notion I resisted out of fear of again losing the now renewed friendship with my soul mate.
Being quite sure that we'd ever be only friends, I continued seeking other prospective women to date, and just had the hardest time finding anyone who was interested.
Door after door closed. Even though I was meeting a great abundance of desperately lonely women wailing, and even begging in their prayers to meet a man who was seriously seeking God; they had no interest in me. This continually confounded me to the point that I was sure that either WOG's were in fact lying about what they wanted, or something serious was wrong with me, or perhaps even both.
Now I know that it was God keeping me available for Evonne.

Meanwhile she kept praying that I'd come to myself, and see what God had placed right in front of me.

Tomorrow I'm making an appointment with my eye doctor, because it should not have taken as long as it did to see that God has answered both our prayers by giving us each other.
38 Comments
Pastor's Sex Challenge Nov 14, 2008 12:35 pm
Mood: It's about time, 29 Views
The following article appeared in today's Yahoo News.

Pastor's Sex Challenge
By MARY KEARL
Sex -- a sacred connection between you, your partner and God? Reclaiming sex as a holy part of marriage and religion seems to be all the rage among evangelicals and other Christians across the country. The reason? To combat the evils sex has become associated with in the mainstream media -- among them: the high divorce rate, promiscuity and homosexuality. The question: Is bringing the oft-taboo topic of sex to light in a church also causing a bit of controversy in the process?

Most recently, the head of Fellowship Church, a Texas-based congregation with 20,000 members, is challenging his married, heterosexual churchgoers to have sex (with their spouses) every day for seven days straight, according to AP reports. Fellowship Church founder and senior Reverend Ed Young will deliver the sermon "Seven Days of Sex," on Sunday November 16, while sitting in bed in front of the Dallas-based chapter of his church. This is the second segment in a series entitled "Leaving Lust Vegas," which the church's Web site says is an answer to a sex-crazed society filled with "romance novels and chic-flicks [sic]" and adult Web sites and late-night TV, where "lust is lurking around every corner."

Church Leaders Call to Bring God Back into Bed

In an interview with CBS, Young describes people's reaction to his proposed week of sex: "We've had a few people go, 'Man, I wonder why you're doing this,' or, 'That's kind of odd, talking about making love in church.' But, again, I think the church has allowed the culture to hijack sex from the church, and it's time that we moved the bed back in church and put God back in the bed, and I think we are the real sex-perts because, after all, we're made in God's image and he's the one who wants us to do it his way."

Religious Sex Scandals

While the last few decades have seen a spate of religious-themed sex scandals, one religious leader who seems to have plunged further than most from his once-spotless pinnacle is Ted Haggard. The former evangelical pastor and former president of the National Evangelical Association was once an outspoken opponent of homosexuality -- until 2006, when a sex scandal involving a homosexual prostitute and a cash-for-sex relationship swirled about him. He was fired from his position as the head of 14,000-member New Life Church, according to the AP. Haggard never fully acknowledged nor denied the claims, but he said there was enough truthfulness to them to merit his firing. In November 2008, he announced that he was sexually abused as a child, and when the sex scandal leaked, that memory "started to rage in my mind and in my heart," reports the AP.

In Alexandra Pelosi's documentary "Friends of God," Haggard says, "You know all the surveys say that evangelicals have the best sex life of any other group," according to ABC News.
1 comment
A New Kitty Nov 8, 2008 2:55 pm
Mood: amused, 49 Views
A couple days ago I picked up a stray cat. Literally.

For the last 2 or 3 weeks a little female tiger cat has been hanging around my back porch. She looks a lot like the cat in the pic, except she is grey and white.
She was driving my orange tabby tom cat nuts. Each would be on their side of my back door for hours at times flirtingly meowing at each other. But each time I came out, she would run off, as though she was being a tease. ( I have had at least a couple girlfriends like that in my time )

So I started leaving her a handfull of dry cat food by the door figuring all that flirting and teasing must be making her hungry.
By about the 4th time, she came up to me, meowing, and she let me pet her. So I picked her up and took her inside to meet her new boyfriend. She doesn't seem to like him too much, but that will change the next time she goes into heat. He shoots blanks, so there will be no kittens.
He follows her everywhere. She hisses at him and jumps up to a spot too high for him to get to, because he's a great deal bigger and heavier then her, and she flirts with him from there.

Sort of reminds me of human relationships.

A woman prettys herself up, and flirts with a man to get his attention. Just enough for him to begin to follow, which begins the persuit.
Then she hisses at him, and goes to a place just out of his reach.
From there, she entices him to make himself a better man of God, one worthy of her. When he finally gets to the place with God he has been called to, she goes into heat, comes to him, and they marry.

Sometimes I think that cats are more human then we are.
5 Comments
Daylight Savings Time??? Oct 25, 2008 12:20 am
Mood: curious, 102 Views
Is this the weekend we (in the USA) switch back from Daylight Savings Time?
10 Comments
The Proposal Oct 4, 2008 1:35 am
224 Views
Okay folks, as you requested, here are the details of my recent engagement, pasted from my journal. I have deleted last names and some minor things that are not pertinent. Enjoy.

Wednesday Aug. 27th 2008 2358
This is a very special entry. Today I became engaged to Evonne, and neither of us could possibly be happier.
After much thought I decided on the place to propose, and after our Monday night phone conversation decided on either Wednesday, or Thursday in the early afternoon would be best.

On Tuesday I began shopping for an engagement ring, and the first place I went to had nothing that jumped out at me.
I went to see Evonne’s mother Virginia, to ask her blessing upon our union. I obviously woke her up, and Evonne's daughter, Kristen was still sleeping on the couch in the living room. But hardly had I arrived, and her place became Grand Central Station. I was no more then sat down when the maintenance man stopped by to check water faucets for leaks.
While in the bathroom with the Maintenance man, someone else knocked at the front door. It was a young man who lived upstairs came to apologize for the rudeness of his drunk buddy the night before when they were visiting. This woke Kristen up.
Then Virginia’s youngest daughter who is Evonne's little sister called because her kids wanted to talk to Grandma on the phone about their first day of school.
Meanwhile I’m sitting there thinking, “What’s next in this bad timing?” another neighbor showed up as well, to pick up Virginia’s laundry to take over to the youngest daughter's place to wash. By then I began praying in the spirit for God to reveal to me a better time to do this.

Virginia got off the phone after explaining that she had a house full of people. The maintenance man left with a promise to return later. The neighbor lady was gone almost as fast.
After several minutes of conversation with the man from upstairs, and he using Kristen’s cell phone to check with his temp agency for work today, and followed Kristen out the door when she took her puppy outside to go potty, and I was alone with Virginia.
I knew Kristen and the puppy wouldn’t be gone for long, and that when she returned, God only knew who else would come in with her, for Kristen has lots of friends that seem to show up all the time from no where.
I wanted this to be a private time because it is personal. Besides that, everyone who knows Kristen, also knows that she can’t keep a secret. Especially from her mother, the woman I intended to propose to.

I took this opportunity to ask Virginia for her daughter’s hand in marriage. Almost before I completed my sentence she blurted out, “You got it,” with a mile wide smile. I told her of how well I would treat Evonne, to which she replied, “You don’t have to convince me of what I already know.”
We spoke for a few more minutes before Kristen and her puppy returned with Jen, another neighbor yet.
I hung around just long enough to be sociable and left, explaining I had to get to work.

Along the way I decided to stop at a place I knew to have decent jewelry, where I saw a more likable selection, and one ring in particular caught my attention. It had two joined heart shaped ruby stones flanked with tiny diamonds. In recent weeks, Evonne had made a point to tell me she would prefer a ruby engagement ring instead of the traditional diamond solitaire. I knew this was the ring, and bought it on the spot.
I showed it off at work to some of my co-workers, and the next morning while working in the food pantry, I showed it to the ladies I work with as well. Everyone thought it was a very good choice.

By Wednesday morning, amazed at how quickly all this was coming together for me, I decided to catch my G.F. right after I was done at the food pantry, while she was on her way to work as a tutor at her college.

Even though one pesky man kept calling on the phone, all but begging for someone to stay in the pantry late so that he could pick up some food for his family, because he didn’t have a ride until later, I turned him down. Of coarse I felt bad about it, but I wasn't gonna let anything keep me from 'popping the question today.
My mentor, the church's prayer minister asked me if I was coming to noon prayer today, and I replied, “Not today. I’m going to ask a little brown-eyed brunette to become my wife.”
He then asked me if I had discussed this with Pastor Steve yet.
“Sure did,” I answered.
“And what did he say?”
“That I have his total support,” as I pulled out the box the ring was in from my pocket to show to him.
He raised his eyebrows, flashed a grin, and said, “Good luck,” before he turned and left.

A few minutes later I called my girlfriend, Evonne on her cell phone and asked her to detour her commute, and meet me at the particular corner where a little neighborhood church that was damaged in the floods was located.
This didn't strike her as being the least bit odd because as a flood relief volunteer, I've had dealings with many people from dozens of churches, and especially so in the part of town I was directing her to.

When Evonne arrived, I took her inside the unlocked empty shell of a building explaining that I wanted her to see what was left of the inside of this church, that had been in my family for over three generations before they tear it down.

The afternoon Sun brightened the sanctuary through the broken stain glass windows, and I intended to get her to the alter, but for the loud creaking sounds the floor was making, she was afraid of the floor caving in, and only took a few steps into the sanctuary.

So I explained about how this was my family's church, starting with my grandparents. My mother attended this church as a girl growing up. She was baptized here, as were all her siblings. Three of her siblings were married here, and she also married my father here. Two years after that, I was dedicated here as a baby, as was each of my siblings, and several of my cousins.
I also grew up in this church with my siblings, and cousins. Two of my siblings were married here. My sister and her family remained active members until it folded under a new minister. After which the building was taken over by a different denomination.

Most recently, it's very last function was as the early flood headquarters for 'Serve the City', our citywide prayer group of nearly 50 local church's that has been a vital icon of the community since the beginning of the flood, at which time the volunteers literally went door to door warning people in the flood prone areas of the coming waters, and the need to evacuate.
This went on until the very church of their headquarters, where we were now standing, had succumb to the flood itself as well.
That was the last time this church had been used for God's purposes. Until today.

I told Evonne, that because of it's last nobel usage, and all the family tradition that is here, and before the building is demolished, this is where I decided to propose to my future wife. I then dropped to one knee, presented the box and ring, and asked Evonne to marry me. She replied with, “Oh my God! YES!!” and I stood up and kissed my new fiancee.
23 Comments
I'M BACK !!! AT LAST Oct 3, 2008 11:51 am
Mood: excelerated, 146 Views
After a nearly four month absence, I finally made it back here to B.C.
I've got no idea what's been happening here, so I'm sure I'll land in the middle of some kind of goings on. (I always do)
I have had just the hardest time getting everything working again with my computer's and internet, but it's finally together now.

The pic is one of dozens upon dozens of the flooding my community endured back in June. We are still recovering and will be for quite some time to come. Our local Christian community has stepped up with incredible unity, and there's much more to say about that alone then I can type. Our God is an awesome God.

Many things in my life have changed, which I don't have time to tell just now. The biggest of which are a new apartment and a new marital status. Let's just say that she said "yes". I'll get back on later on.
6 Comments
More on the 500 Year Flood Jul 2, 2008 10:59 pm
Mood: impressed, 247 Views
This time I have a link to a local web site with 69 photos of the flood. Many of which are very good airial pics showing the damage.
Since this site won't allow web addresses to show, I broke it up into three lines, hoping it will not trigger alarms of censorship.
If you put the three lines into one line, copy and paste into your browser line, you should be able to get there.

http://bigchurch.com

andrealynnphoto.

com/CRflood2008/

Some photos of special interest are numbers 30, 41, and 42.
30 is our city hall, which is on an island, which which is accessed by three bridges spanning the river. But the bridges are totally covered in these pics.
41 is our part of our down town area and part of the west side. The river runs from lower left to upper right. If you can find the city hall, the river's natural flow is immediately on each side.
42 is a much larger view with all of down town and part of the west side.

The rest of the pics speak for themselves.
Again, I'm on my G.F.'s computer, it's late, and she will be soon going to bed, so I'm going to head home.
2 Comments
Flood Update Jun 23, 2008 10:23 pm
Mood: Blessed, 202 Views
I've posted this in Speeritwoman's blog, and decided to copy it to here.

My community, Cedar Rapids Iowa, has had it's worst ever flooding experience. It is being closely compared to New Orleans after Katrina as far as flooding devastation goes.
An estimate of 25,000 people were evacuated from over 15,000 homes in the city within 10 blocks of the river on each side.
Something like 900 square blocks in a 130 square mile area was flooded.
The flood stage of the Cedar River in Cedar Rapids is 12 feet, and the river crested at just under 32 feet. The previous highest flood was just over 20 feet.
Water was over all but one of the dozen bridges that span the Cedar River. One of the railroad bridges was taken out by the rushing water, and another bridge has had 23 house boats crash into it.

I live in a 2nd floor apartment located 6 blocks from the river, and we had water 4 blocks beyond my place. The water line on my house was at over 8 feet, which was enough to destroy the first floor apartments. Waters have now receded, and my place is okay, but it will be another 2 weeks to get the house in condition to re-occupy.

Meanwhile, we are now cleaning up from the most major disaster my city has ever seen. Several of our oldest and most culturally rich neighborhoods are beyond repair, and hundreds, if not thousands of homes will be tore down.
Our main business district which is downtown is totally shut down.
The main streets through downtown are up to 8 lanes wide in places, but most of the downtown streets have only one passable lane. The rest are littered with debris, and recovery vehicles and equipment.
Power is still out in most of the affected areas, but traffic lights are being run from generators.

Garbage is accumulating on curbs from clean up, and in places is up to 20 feet high.
FEMA estimates that all the flood garbage would encompass an area the size of 6 football fields side by side, and be over 60 feet high.
The stink is totally sickening, and we pretty much have to wear breathing masks if we are doing more then just driving through the affected parts of town.

But PTL, there has only been one flood related death, and local churches are really stepping up to help like nothing anyone has ever seen before. Our prayer coalition of churches has been an enormous part in recovery, which now has 46 churches with thousands of people volunteering.

This morning, I went on a Prayer Patrol team, to hand out water, and pray for people. It is street evangelism in it's most basic form which has netted several dozens if not hundreds of lives either saved, or re-commeted to Jesus.
People are getting saved everywhere, as well as being led into receiving the gift of holy spirit. Including national level news reporters which are covering events in our city.

Look for movies about this to come out in the next few months and years, as the documentation going on is very impressive.

That's all I can think of for now. I should get off my G.F.'s computer, and let her get some sleep
0 Comments
Flood Update Jun 23, 2008 10:23 pm
Mood: Blessed, 323 Views
I've posted this in Speeritwoman's blog, and decided to copy it to here.

My community, Cedar Rapids Iowa, has had it's worst ever flooding experience. It is being closely compared to New Orleans after Katrina as far as flooding devastation goes.
An estimate of 25,000 people were evacuated from over 15,000 homes in the city within 10 blocks of the river on each side.
Something like 900 square blocks in a 130 square mile area was flooded.
The flood stage of the Cedar River in Cedar Rapids is 12 feet, and the river crested at just under 32 feet. The previous highest flood was just over 20 feet.
Water was over all but one of the dozen bridges that span the Cedar River. One of the railroad bridges was taken out by the rushing water, and another bridge has had 23 house boats crash into it.

I live in a 2nd floor apartment located 6 blocks from the river, and we had water 4 blocks beyond my place. The water line on my house was at over 8 feet, which was enough to destroy the first floor apartments. Waters have now receded, and my place is okay, but it will be another 2 weeks to get the house in condition to re-occupy.

Meanwhile, we are now cleaning up from the most major disaster my city has ever seen. Several of our oldest and most culturally rich neighborhoods are beyond repair, and hundreds, if not thousands of homes will be tore down.
Our main business district which is downtown is totally shut down.
The main streets through downtown are up to 8 lanes wide in places, but most of the downtown streets have only one passable lane. The rest are littered with debris, and recovery vehicles and equipment.
Power is still out in most of the affected areas, but traffic lights are being run from generators.

Garbage is accumulating on curbs from clean up, and in places is up to 20 feet high.
FEMA estimates that all the flood garbage would encompass an area the size of 6 football fields side by side, and be over 60 feet high.
The stink is totally sickening, and we pretty much have to wear breathing masks if we are doing more then just driving through the affected parts of town.

But PTL, there has only been one flood related death, and local churches are really stepping up to help like nothing anyone has ever seen before. Our prayer coalition of churches has been an enormous part in recovery, which now has 46 churches with thousands of people volunteering.

This morning, I went on a Prayer Patrol team, to hand out water, and pray for people. It is street evangelism in it's most basic form which has netted several dozens if not hundreds of lives either saved, or re-commeted to Jesus.
People are getting saved everywhere, as well as being led into receiving the gift of holy spirit. Including national level news reporters which are covering events in our city.

Look for movies about this to come out in the next few months and years, as the documentation going on is very impressive.

That's all I can think of for now. I should get off my G.F.'s computer, and let her get some sleep
7 Comments
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Most Recent Comments by Others
PostPosterPost Date
Pastor's Sex Challengeloki2007Nov 14 8:06 pm
MY NEW GIRLFRIENDruggedntenderNov 14 9:42 am
Finding a Date in Church (for the men)ruggedntenderNov 14 9:37 am
A New KittyHisglory77Nov 9 2:37 pm
Daylight Savings Time???sharloaOct 27 12:20 am
The Proposalloki2007Oct 6 2:24 pm
I'M BACK !!! AT LASTms_warriorthingyOct 3 5:24 pm
More on the 500 Year FloodsimplysmilesJul 3 12:05 pm
Flood UpdatesimplysmilesJun 24 12:51 pm
500 YEAR FLOODspeeritwomanJun 14 7:59 pm
TORNADOES IN IOWAfreewayryderJun 7 12:40 pm