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Amanda's Occasional Musings
  
Random thoughts, unrestrained meanderings, occasional rants, and joyful enthusiasm.

My Faithful Father, Enduring Friend
Your tender Mercy is like a river with no wind
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your Presence
I stand in wonder once again

(chorus)
Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me

Oh Patient Savior, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You? Lord what can I say?
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me

Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher
Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher
Than anything my eyes can see

Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me
Your Grace...still AMAZES me.

P.S. My name isn't really "Grace". But don't tell anyone, cause we're supposed to be traveling incognito here, and it's a big secret.

P.P.S. Just because heaven is a gated community, doesn't mean that God is a republican!
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Completely Amazing Thanksgiving Nov 24, 2007 7:34 pm
Mood: content, 166 Views
Wow, we had such a great day! A house full of love, laughter, fun and great food.

My daughter and I cooked up a storm. Turkey, with two kinds of stuffing. I was born in Georgia, so I have to have cornbread stuffing. Domoni likes that Yankee white bread stuff, so we make both. Plus mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potato soufflé with marshmallows, creamed peas with pearl onions, and corn on the cob. And don’t forget all that relish tray stuff and cranberry sauce. And of course, pies. We only made 2 kinds this year, pecan and key lime. We slacked off this year. We do this every holiday, and we make enough food for an ARMY. I don’t believe we know how to cook for only a few people. But the upside is that we have leftovers. Yummy! We make even more at Christmas. Y’all come join us then!! We will need an ACTUAL army to feed.

Kristy, the bestest best friend in the world, joined us. We laughed until our stomachs hurt, then ate way too much, and then laughed some more. We played with my grandsons and chatted and joked and played some more. We took some great pics and some really, really funny pics. Well, they are great too.

It was a happy, crazy, fun, joyous day. A true Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for this year. Great new friends, whom I adore, to visit and fish with. (Yes, Kristy, you’re one of them. The entire world knows that by now!! I’ll bet the other one knows who they are, too, but I’m not going to violate their privacy. But I got to spend some time with them the weekend before, and I loved that too!) Happy, healthy kids and grandkids. Having everything we need.

Saying good-bye was the toughest thing, both times. I never wanted those hugs to end, and didn’t want to let go. I still wish I hadn’t had to. Sometimes, that’s the hardest thing on Earth to do, especially when you know you have to. If I ruled the world, it would never happen. Not a bit realistic, I know, but I can imagine anything I want to.

So, thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being my family. Thank you for loving me, warped and flawed as I am! You’re the best of the best!
5 Comments
Home again, home again---- Nov 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Mood: rejuvenated, 138 Views
What a great time I had in Washington. I’ve never laughed so much in my life. It was good to visit and good to get home. I sure missed my family. Now I miss my best friend. Somebody needs to move!

We went fishing on her birthday, along with her dad. She got a trout. I got a sunburn!! No fish for Amanda for 2 years now. I don’t think they like me. Do I look funny or smell weird? Ok, I don’t suppose anyone here knows whether I smell weird or not. And if I look funny, please don’t tell me!! I like my illusion of incredible beauty and charm. Maybe my rod and reel are jinxed. I have never caught a thing with it. That must be it! A “no-catch-nothing” hex!! Can’t possibly be lack of skill on my part!!! Next time I’m using someone else’s rod. That will fix it, right??? But anyway, we had fun, and that is the entire point, right??

I fixed her a Mexican dinner and baked her a cake. Her dad came down for dessert. It was SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO much fun!! We went to church, but before we went, I said something very strange (not unusual, I’m constantly being strange, or maybe I just AM strange), and extremely funny at dinner, unintentionally, and we were both in hysterics. During the service, we continued to giggle, and couldn’t look at each other without laughing our heads off. I’m sure the entire congregation is absolutely convinced that we are both insane. That makes 2 congregations, because a couple of weeks earlier, the same thing happened in Salem at my church. They could be right. We just might be insane. But in the best way possible! And as the old saying goes, I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every single moment of it!

My little tortoise shell cat is in a snit again, and she isn’t speaking to me. She does that every time I spend time away from home. She literally puts her nose in the air and walks away from me. Little snot! She is quite funny, but how insensitive of me to laugh at her terrible pain. Poor little baby! How could anyone survive without my oh, so very delightful presence for 12 entire days? (Wow, there goes that thunder again! I don’t get it!)

Anyway, I had a great time. Wish I could clone myself. Then I could be there with her and here with my kids and grandkids at the same time. Well, if I could learn to do that Vulcan mind meld thing with myself—so I remember everything. Yeah, I know. I’m weird. But it’s fun!!
2 Comments
I get to have one of my wants..... Oct 30, 2007 6:39 am
Mood: Blessed, 186 Views
In 2 days, I get to go fulfill one of my “wants”. I get to go to my best friend’s house. I know it doesn’t seem like much to most people. But I have a special reason to celebrate this.

13 years ago, in August, the best friend I ever had died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. She was only 43.. The most amazing friend I ever had, and I only had 2 very short years with her, then suddenly----- she was gone. By the grace of Providence, I had hugged her and told her I loved her (at that time of my life, that was a very, very rare and remarkable occurrence. God’s done a lot of healing) the night before; The very last time I ever saw her alive.

I never believed I’d find a friend again. At least, not one I could laugh with so hard I wet myself. Or talk to for hours. Or sit watching 3 silly movies in a row and giggle like school girls or tear up freely at the ending. Or eat really really really rich hot fudge sundaes while pouring out our souls—knowing deep in our hearts that we were safe. Those 4 walls were sacred and the words spoken in them were ours and ours alone. Or drinking crappa frappa foo foo coffee and laughing until our sides hurt at things no one else would understand (grasping!). Or be with for days and days and days and days, and STILL not get tired of the company or want to go home. I was wrong. God gave me another one a few months ago.

I have mentioned on another blog what a special gift she is, and it wasn’t even my birthday!!! Actually, guess what? It WAS my birthday!! She had found my profile on (are we allowed to say (apparently not, they deleted the y word) here?) and read my self-pitying blog entry written the day before my 48th birthday, and responded. I think it was to some comment about being afraid of never finding love because I was getting to a certain age and I already had cats! (you know, on my way to becoming the weird old lady down the block with 40 cats) So, yep, it actually WAS my birthday!! I guess God was up there singing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR AMANDA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

So, thank you God, for Kristy! Bestest present I ever got. Now, on Thursday, I’m going back to the woods outside Camas WA, and I’m going to:

“Make popcorn, and explode butter in the microwave, and eat really decadent ice cream sundaes, and watch funny, silly, scary movies, and argue over who washes dishes, (oddly enough, we both wanted be the one to do them, not the other way around) and revel in the peace and quiet, and talk and laugh and share secrets and joys and heartaches into the wee hours of the morning and bond with my best friend (What a lovely surprise gift from God she is! And it wasn’t even my birthday! *well, ok, yes it was*), for days and days, knowing I’m accepted for just who I am.”

I may never come home.
3 Comments
The things I really want....... Oct 28, 2007 8:22 pm
Mood: Wistful, 164 Views
The things I really want…..

I want a real home that pulses with life.

I want an honest-to-goodness kitchen, and someone to cook for.

I want a Christmas with everyone home, filled with peace and love, and NO ONE resenting anyone for anything.

I want to go for a walk at sunrise—alone—without being afraid that I’ll get dizzy and fall down.

I want to make popcorn, and explode butter, and eat really decadent ice cream sundaes, and watch funny, silly, scary movies, and argue over who washes dishes, and revel in the peace and quiet, and talk and laugh and share secrets and joys and heartaches into the wee hours of the morning and bond with my best friend (What a lovely surprise gift from God she is! And it wasn’t even my birthday!), for days and days, knowing I’m accepted for just who I am.

I want to stand up without wondering if I’ll throw up.

I want my children and grandchildren to have truly happy, fulfilling lives and to know without doubt that I LOVE each and every one of them.

I want to walk on a beach, with the arm of the man who loves me around me.

I want to rock my grandchildren--and their children.

I want to have a gold band on the third finger of my left hand that I will never take off.

I want to live closer to my friends, but still live close to my family.

I want to go fishing.

I want to NOT sleep alone anymore.

I want to dance.

I want to have and raise a child with a man who loves us both and will never abandon us. (I know how old I am, and that it’s too late, but this is a wish list)

I want to drive my car.

I want to curl up in the arms of the love of my life, and relax into sleep, feeling his breath and hearing his heart beat, knowing that heart has been given to me.

I want to go back to work.

I want to make God proud.

I want to NOT believe that none of these things will ever be mine.

I want to have a shorter list of things that I really want.
2 Comments
Outlook on life topics...... Oct 27, 2007 10:27 am
Mood: mischievous, 201 Views
For those of you not already bored by my random thoughts.......

Isn't it a shame that all those drop down lists in the topic section of our profiles, about what we are looking for and such, are so limited? “Factors most important” lists don't include things like HONESTY or INTEGRITY or FIDELITY or LOYALTY. Who really gives a darn about age, income, looks, blah blah blah....except for the truly shallow? Oh, yeah--and how about DEPTH?

My favorite season?? Why should I have to choose the beauty of Christmas or a quiet, snow-covered forest over the rebirth of the Earth into the green freshness of spring, or the warm sunshine and picnics of Summer, or the brilliant colors, deep blue skies, and crispness of the air during Autumn??? Not this lady!

My sign??? I don’t believe in astrology—how likely is it that there are only 12 lives being lived by 6 billion people anyway?? And it sure isn’t “Open all night”. Aside from sounding slightly crude—well, I need my beauty sleep. At my age, I need all the help I can get! Maybe “Dangerous curves ahead”????? (Stop laughing at me. Ok, don’t stop. I love laughter, and if I can cause a little, my purpose in life has been served!)
5 Comments
And now for the weather....... Oct 27, 2007 8:34 am
135 Views
Since such a vast multitude----well, many----eerr, umm--a few----ok, ONE of you asked so nicely....

Our weather forecast this weekend is clear, sunny and warm with a chance of extreme boredom--because both of "MY" teams have a bye week, and I don't get to go fishing! Also I have to put the storm windows (well, really, plastic sheeting) over my windows. PPPPFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTHHHHHHHH! But I'd somehow manage to tolerate postponing that for a ride to a fishin' hole...........
0 Comments
My favorite sports Oct 26, 2007 11:45 pm
Mood: frustrated, 156 Views
Every single time I try to talk about sports on that section of my profile, the paragraph gets cut off half way---ssssoooooooo:

I'm an NFL fan (GO COWBOYS!!!, GO SEAHAWKS!!--but man, when they play each other, I nearly have a nervous breakdown!!) Otherwise, televised sports bore me to tears. Ok, except for the ice skating and ice dancing in the Olympics (yeah, yeah, so I'm a GIRL!!!)

I love going to minor-league baseball games, those boys play their hearts out.

I'm crazy about fishing---from a boat or a bank or a dock. I can get excited about hooking a minnow---but reeling in a big Chinook--wow, what a rush!!!! 45 minute fight, and I was 2 inches from being pulled into the Nestucca River. Major fun! Crabbing is a lot of fun too. Never gone clamming, steelhead or deep-sea fishing, though. Any willing teachers out there???

So, there's my sports section. Tune in after the break for the weather!
1 comment
Oh, goody! Another place to have fun! Oct 25, 2007 11:35 am
Mood: cheerful, 228 Views
Oh WOW!! A blog!!

I now have a place to display my incredible beauty, considerable intelligence, remarkable humor and incomparable wit, all in one place! As if you aren’t already completely enthralled by the very brief but fascinating introduction in my profile.

What’s so funny?? Why are you laughing like that??? Calm down—you are going to hurt yourself. Oh, come on now---stop that—you’re going to need to BREATHE sometime!!

Ok, if you aren’t at least smiling by now, you’re just a big Scrooge—or you’re dead. Humor is one of the greatest gifts ever given to mankind. Laughter lifts the spirit, cleanses the soul, oxygenates the blood and is even a good cardio workout. It is also one of the most attractive traits a person can possess, at least in my eyes. Making me laugh until my sides hurt is one of the best ways to capture my interest. No, you don’t have to be Robin Williams, and not all situations require comedy. There are a number of levels upon which human beings need to connect for a deep friendship to develop. But taking time to explore those levels and make that connection, those are among the greatest joys we are granted as we pass through this life.

So, here’s to laughter, making connections, and developing relationships. May you find all these joys during your journey.

~Amanda~
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